The Braves Babes Battle Bus - NOT stopping at the pub!!

[Mouseface]

Hello

I'm Mouse. I've been sober for over a month now, thanks to the support of posters on this and previous threads.

No matter where you are up to with your sobriety, you'll find someone here who has been in your shoes!

Come and meet the other Brave Babes........

And here are the other threads for those who want to read them.

JWN's original thread (and the reason we are all here!)

Thread two

Thread three

Thread four

Thread five

Thread six

moomins title is a good one - to the point i think!

Righty oh.

I'll go and sort it then.

thank you mouse!

new thread

Mouse thank you. I was a particularly horrid teen though

I am going absolutely crazy here. Trying to submit funding applications online with a dodgy internet connection is not fun. GRRRR.

Am wondering about Wasindie ... are you out there? Let us know how you are getting on??

Thanks for doing that mouse! I have just been over to save my place.

I have been wondering about a lot of Babes too. In the middle of the night especially.

Needsto, Wasindie, algee, Toclear, ginger, catinboots, katerum, MissP, Pavalova, Saffysmum..........

And anyone else that was posting often who has fallen off the radar.

I hope you are all ok.

I second what mouse said about our missing Babes - chinkof I have been wondering about you too...

We just want to know that you are all OK x

Hello all, and I've marked my place on the new bus (I've put a very large carpetbag (of the Mary Poppins type) on my seat so that no-one can sit on it.

I've have just been so see my lovely parents. My Mum has a degenerative illness which has taken a significant downward turn recently. She is strong and positive and makes the best of everything, but my Dad, in his 80's has become her full time carer, getting up in the night with her, helping her to shower, cooking most of the meals (he hasn't cooked in more than 50 years of marriage, so that's a new one for him) and doing all the shopping. They are fiercely independent and won't accept much help from anyone but I am glad that I can be around to do what I can (or more accurately, what they will allow), and that I am sober and resiliant to be able to help them when they do call for it. MY dm is rather scared at the moment because she fears that she is losing her mental ability and she gets confused about things.

I feel rather sad watching it all happening, but at least I am not running away, blocking things out.

venus - HUGE (((((((((( )))))))))) from a little Mouse.

It's so hard to watch someone you love change due to illness. I'm not surprised that she is scared. She must feel like such a burden and so helpless. And it must be hard for your dad.

I'm so glad that you are sober as you say to be around and to help when they let you. This must be hard for you to watch too. Your parents are always a certain age in your head and then all of a sudden, they aren't.

Please be kind to yourself and let it out here if you need to. I'm not usually a hugger but for you, I can be. xxx

Thanks mouse, you made me cry.

I didn't mean to make you cry venus. I just wanted you to know that I, and I'm sure are the others, here to support you.

Definitely here to support you in any which way venus.

Venus ((( )))

I am so sorry that you are going through this. Sorry also to be practical but have you applied for AA or Carers Allowance for them (you are probably on top of this, not sure which benefits are best). I have two older relatives in similar situation who now both get AA - the big help was getting it for him too.

The money has brought them independence in many ways. They can afford to pay for a family friend (who is a carer) to come in a few times a week and help get her washed and dressed, it pays for cabs for them etc. They are ok with this as it means that they have the choice and control over who comes in their home etc. and what they do. Sorry am sure you are on top of this but just a thought. I know its desperately difficult to deal with practical things when in reality you just want the person back as they were for them and for you. xx

MsGee

CAn you get AA and CA in Scotland? IIRC, that's where venus is......... not sure if her parents are too.

bugger, didn't think of that.

A good website to check is www.turn2us.org.uk/benefits_search.aspx

they have a grants search and benefits search. depending on previous occupation Elizabeth Finn (which does have Scottish sister charity) is very good at providing support. Mouse - depending on you and DH occupation or previous occupation they would help you too, with costs for Nemo in terms of one off costs or regular help. They can provide help for transport costs,heating etc. They may even grant you the money if the heating grant doesn't come through quickly enough.

They are a pretty well to do charity and its relatively straight forward to get a grant (can help with that if you like).

Hope this doesn't offend. Gee x

You'd never offend me. All advice and help greatfully received!

I will check it out and shout if I need some help.

Thanks lovely. xx

Thanks msgee. I don't know what AA is (apart from the obvious...) but I am trying to encourage my dad to have a carer's assessment. The impact on his life is pretty huge, and although he is sprightly he also needs to take care of his own needs. It is a bit of an uphill battle though. He is of the opinion that this is exactly what "in sickness and in health" meant when they got married. He is her husband and it is his duty and priveledge to care for her. It's very lovely really and I don't think I've seen him so look so lovingly at her before.

venus - Attendance Allowance here

Not sure what they qualify for as I said, I think you are very up north!!

I think your dad is a wonderful man. My mother has MS. She will only get worse. My dad cares for her and holds down a job as a Finacial Director. He knows that my mumwill need more help at some point.

He feels that it is his job to care for her and provide a roof over their heads.

He is exhausted most of the time. DH is very much like my father, as in the values and beliefs that he has. Which is why he is my DH.

Aye, but even up here we get a wee bit of help from the guverrrment

venus - have a look here too

Phew on offence! There are so many charities out there set up to give money away and not many people asking for it!

Sorry no AA in Scotland. I can't seem to find any details on benefits in Scotland, my computer is clearly England centric. Even the help the aged website is crap.

Mouse (( )) for you too.

Just using this up so that venus does not get upset at the waste

Yes, good idea Red.

What do you call a donkey with 3 legs?

No idea mouse, what do you call a donkey with 3 legs?