The Braves Babes Battle Bus - NOT stopping at the pub!!

[Mouseface]

Hello

I'm Mouse. I've been sober for over a month now, thanks to the support of posters on this and previous threads.

No matter where you are up to with your sobriety, you'll find someone here who has been in your shoes!

Come and meet the other Brave Babes........

And here are the other threads for those who want to read them.

JWN's original thread (and the reason we are all here!)

Thread two

Thread three

Thread four

Thread five

Thread six

BANDAGE!!, you daft woman!!, (honestly, some lesbians! ) bondage i save for private evenings at home!

yes, i am now sat here looking like hilda ogden! , cos im worth it!

Hello,

I posted on the first thread and then gave up any attempts to stop drinking until the school holidays were over. They are now nearly finished and I'm starting.

I have drunk about a bottle of wine a night for about 15 years, except during my three pregnancies. I dread to think what state my internal organs are in.

My dad is a functioning alcoholic, although it is never spoken about. My sister has been through rehab but still drinks alot. While she was there I did the "family programme" and stuff, all the while knowing my problem is not much off hers. What a hypocrite.

I am not a nice drunk. I'm horrible to my poor DH who has put up with it for years. My mothering is not as good as it could be. They don't see me pissed but I'm always hungover, grumpy and tired. I've missed so much of the lovley bits of having little ones.

The last two days I have not had wine, just one g&t so I dont' feel too ill the next day and can manage the kids. I will stop this too soon. Wine though is my real problem and I just can't drink it again. I do feel better having not had any, although storming headache and very tired.

You have all done so amazingly well on here and I would love to be able to too. You make it sound so easy though.

My alcoholism is borne out of depression I think which started as a teenager. I have had lots of therapy for that and am greatly improved. I just couldn't tell them about the level of my drinking though as I am so ashamed.

Please can I join you? I think I may run out of time soon.

Hello Nearly

Of course you can join us! Clime aboard!

You sound very much like me re the regret of missing my children grow due to being hungover and super snappy!

The fact that you have admitted how much you drink aloud counts, whether it's to us or to a counsellor.

The fact that you hide it tells me you do have a problem with alcohol. We all have 'reasons' why we drank. Yes, past tense.

I can tell you it is because my son is disabled and has special needs, because I was abused for years by men who I thought loved me, because my father left when I was 2.........

All of these 'reasons' are excuses not to face our demons, the things that upset us, choices we need to make, pain we want to numb and every day life.

Except that alcohol magnifies these feelings. By a lot! Alcohol controls you and creates a safe haven for you, or so you think. You have been drinking for a long time, so I have no doubt that you know all of this already.

So, what is your plan for today? For the next few hours? When would you like to get your life back?

Sorry for the errors! Nemo - aka DS - is all over my legs!! Trying to type on here!!

Hi,

Thanks for replying. Most of my unhappiness is now caused by alcohol, everything else is pretty good. Silly isn't it! Its just such a habit and I have never been sober as an adult in the evenings. I used to smoke lots of dope as a teenager before i started to drink in my twenties. I've never really been alone with myself.

My plan for today. Daytimes are ok and I don't drink then. Tonight I'm going swimming and then for a curry (with one beer) with DH as its our wedding anniversary. Its curry so there is no wine to tempt.

The evenings are my struggle. DH is away a lot and never ususally home until 9. DC's are under 6 so in bed by 7.30 so I end up twiddling my thumbs. Am going to try and go out more in the evenings for swim, walk etc.. but obviously babysitting costs limit this.

Well done you.
Any tips?

Happy anniversary!

Tip wise, keep busy!!! You will hear that a lot on here but it's true. Read, knit, sew, paint, DIY, keep fit, films, cook, make cakes, jams, anything!!!

Just plan your evenings around activities rather than around drinking.

Once you get out of the habit, it will get easier. So, if you normally pour your first glass at 6, plan to be doing something else.

I tried to cut down. And failed. So I had to cut booze out all together.

I was hitting 90 units a week, sometimes more. Not always in the day but every night. Needing more and more to sleep, relax, unwind etc.

You know how that works, right?!!

So, take it a day or an hour at a time. No projecting to tomorrow, next week, Christmas etc.

Small changes, small steps = sober you!!

Morning Mouse, you are soundinng bright-eyed today;

and hello to nearly. Just as mouse says, have a plan for keeping busy at the times you know you are likely to be tempted, have some really nice alternatives - fizzy drinks in the fridge, some luxury chocolate, and have a strategy for emergencies when you might experience a strong craving (come on here and cry for help, get the phone number of someone in AA, confide in a friend and use them as an emergency number, get out of the house and walk somewhere (not near an off-licence!)). You won't need these strategies for ever, but it is helpful in the early days to have htem planned out. I think it takees about 3 weeks to change a habit (not an addictive habit) and I think most of us on here would agree that the day-to-day pattern has changed during that time and that does reduce some of the pressure you might feel at the moment. However bad you feel, it is not like that for ever.

JWN your evening sounds wonderful, and at least you KNOW that you will be able to come back and tell us all about it - none of those horrible blanks! I still have awful cringey moments when we are talking about something that has happened or that we have had a discussion about at home and I have absolutely no recollection of it at all . God what was I doing to my poor brain cells?

hi nearly!! i second everything mouse and venus have said + i know you can do this because i have - the thing to remember is that there is no magic wand, you have to do this yourself, and believe me, you are far stronger than you realise - once the cloud of alcohol depression starts to lift you will be so amazed at how bloody marvelous life can be!, yes, there will always be shitty days, bloody kids, pain in the arse husbands! , the thing is, you will be able to deal with everything with a clear mind, give a problem sober thought and actually start to be properly effective for the first time in years! - sometimes this can be quite scary, but ultimalty so bloody wonderful!

venus - i am trying to block from my memory the last time i went to these particular friends for dinner tbh, i was amazed to recieve the invitation for this evening!

mouse! how are feeling today?

JWN

Have a wonderful time in your bondage gear.

venus

I'm feeling rather daffy today. I'm sure he won't mind!!!!

Whoops, as you can see JWN, rather daffy!!

glad you feel a bit brighter mouse!

Hello all, hope there's room on the bus for me!
I've been lurking since the start of the very first thread and have wanted to post for some time but haven't been able to (or is that want to?) admit to my problem......

I catch up with you all on a daily basis and have to say that I have laughed and cried and a lot of what you have all had to say has really hit home. You are truly inspirational and I hope to find the inner strength to beat this.

I am on Day 2. I did not drink yesterday (unheard of for a Fri night!) and I am planning on not drinking today!

Hey munky

Welcome on board!

Hi mouse, to be honest I'm not sure why today. The last few weeks I have tried, on and off and managed only a single day before nipping down the shop for a bottle of wine (or 2) and then being disgusted with myself in the morning. Hangovers getting worse, I'm pretty sure I'm fermenting from the inside and I generally feel like deep fried dog shite (love that phrase most of the time.

Thurs night I had a terrible night, slept for 2 hours and then spent the rest of the night with that horrible, sweaty anxious feeling......I think I've finally had enough of putting myself though it! Trouble is, it gets to this point, I'll stop for a day or 2, feel better.....and slide straight back into it.

munky

The sleep or rather lack of it only really became apparent to me once I stopped hitting the bottle every day or night or both!

Apart from issues with DS, I sleep just fine now!

The main thing is, that you have posted today. It's always quieter at weekends so you won't get lots of replies but a few Babes are around.

What is your plan of action today then? What is going to stop you going to the shop?

hi munky! really pleased you finally felt able to post!

just do a day at a time!, dont htink about tomorrow or the day after....... just stick with it FOR TODAY!! i promise that it does get easier, and it really is only about 7/8 days away that you will begin to feel so much betrer!

i could kick myself now, that i spent so many years feeling like deep fried dog shit!, what a bloody waste!!

Hmmm, not sure of the exact plan just yet!

DH is going out at 6ish (with DS). I can't go as they are organising a surprise party for my 40th in 6weeks time (a surprise in that I don't know where it is or what to expect).

I have loaded myself up with some rather yummy fruit juices, cordials, soda water, chocolate. I love to read so have a new book I could start, also got a couple of new CDs so if I get too wobbly can put them on loud and dance around the room and basically just sweat it out

Maybe I do have a plan after all

See? Sounds great!

JWN - I am seriously trying to adopt that policy, although at the moment it is one hour at a time, I would normally have cracked open a bottle by this time on a Sat or be on my 2nd/3rd beer.

The projecting thing is hard to get my head round. I am trying not to think of my 40th, was going to wait until that was over and done with but then, there is always something else to put it off.....so the time is now!

So you are already doing better than you would be.

Just take it slowly, hour by hour or even less if need be!!!

What you need to remember is that just because you have made the decision to stop, doesn't mean that your mind is going to want to.

Or your body. You'll be detoxing for a few days so the soft drinks and chocolate you have are spot on!!!

I'm snacking as I type!!

right, i am ready to go, just waiting for nails to dry, dh is stomping about downstairs having a mutter about the time! , think ill ignore him for a couple of minutes!

hope everyone has good evenings! munky, an hour at a time is great, btw, your party is a really good goal - simply by not drinking, by the time it comes round, you will look fab, all dewy skinned and sparkly eyed!

mouse - see you later lovley babe!