wanking while i'm in the shower

[isheaknob]

ok have a bf of 9 months. have got really close lately. he stays over at mine 2-3 times a week.
anyway he tried it on this morning and i said no i wasn't up for it as i needed to sort the kids out (they were downstairs watching tv). so i have a very quick shower and come back into the bedroom. he has a towel wrapped around him when before he had boxers. i ask him why and he said he was getting ready for a shower and his boxers were in his bag.
so he has a shower and it becomes obvious that he had a very quick wank while i was in the shower. i confronted him and he admitted it saying that he didn't think it was wrong as he was feeling extra horny! he said sorry but now i just feel weird about it. the thing is its not like he hasn't had it in a while as we have been doing it twice the last few days.
just need some female views as i'm not sure if i'm over re-acting. just because i say no does that mean he has to go and jerk off!
thanx.
oh by the way am a regular and am far too embarrassed to have my real name

[toccatanfudge]

I actually feel quite sorry for the poor bugger tbh. He's been getting down and dirty with you in that bed, he did it DYI today.

People are suggesting he "waited until he was outside your house"

yep - wanking on the lawn would be a much better option

[whatthecrocodilehatwasthat]

just seems a pretty immature thing to do IMO.

If they're in a an adult relationship why does he have to have a secret wank??

[toccatanfudge]

well I've never considered it essential to tell my DH/DP/Whoever I'm shagging that I'm going to have a wank while they were gone .

[whatthecrocodilehatwasthat]

what they disappear out the room and you whack one off??

pretty strange relationship....

[toccatanfudge]

what so it was "secret" because he did DIY when she was in the shower??

Maybe before she jumped in the shower he was feeling cool, then after she'd go in he thought "hmm she's hot - I'm not getting it this morning - DIY needed", much like she could have asked him if he wanked a coffee before she got in the shower, he could have said no - then changed his mind and made himself one.

Wanking is perfectly normal, as normal as making a cup of tea..........

[whatthecrocodilehatwasthat]

no it was obviously secret because he was embarrassed she found out.

Nothing wrong with wanking, never said there was.

[toccatanfudge]

I'd consider it a rather strange relationship where the horny party - who had respectfully not forced the issue when the other one didn't want it - felt they had to ask for permission to "whack one off".

[Rafwife]

Crocodile, either you are playing devils advocate for the sake of it, which I suggest you are or you are the one with the strange relationship, if you are so uptight about something so normal.

[lifeissweet]

I think that's a bit much, whatthe...Just because he didn't mention it. Like he was going to say: 'oh - while you're in the shower, I'm going to toss myself off. Is that ok?' You think that not asking is disrespectful?!

Honestly, This is not a problem. The poor poster on here earlier today who was worried about her dh being asexual has a problem, you are in a new relationship with a man who finds you so sexy that he has to relieve himself after you've turned him down. I would be pleased.

Disrespectful was when my friend turned her bf down one night, went to sleep and was woken by him wanking on her stomach as she slept.

Doing it privately while you were out of the room..not such a problem.

[OutrageousFlavourLikeFreesias]

Tocatta, can your man really wank coffee?

Jolly well done.

[PeppermintPasty]

how did you find out anyway op??? did he, as someone has suggested, wipe his dick on the curtains?

[whatthecrocodilehatwasthat]

the OP doesn't think it's cool - other people don't think it's cool, why are you insisting that it is? If she feels uncomfortable with it then it's not OK for her. If she doesn't like her partner having a secret wank then it's not ok. The fact he felt he needed to quickly spank the monkey whilst she was in the shower is just pathetic.

[toccatanfudge]

actually unless I was feeling horny at that point I'd consider it pretty strange to say to my DH (ok e's an ex now so kinda irrelevant) - oh btw when you were at work today I had a wank....

Never mind embarrassed - I'd been pissed off if my shag DP/DH/BF started questioning me about whether I'd had a wank while they were out of the room or not - unless he'd just gone for a "bathroom break"

[toccatanfudge]

• oops that was a pretty bad typo - too much wanking in this thread

now if he could wank coffee that would be pretty cool

[AnyFucker]

look girls, disrespectful is the case where a lady woke to find herself being anally raped

there is a thread on here about that right now

a wank is a wank is a wank...we all own our own bodies

[PeppermintPasty]

but crocodile, op asked for views on whether we think it's ok. it's ok.

[QueeferSutherland]

Personally I'd be miffed if DH beat one out on the QT, but only if I hadn't had first refusal on his hard-on!

I'd hate to think he had none left for me!

BTW, did anyone read that interview with Jonathan Ross recently?
He was spanking the salami in a hotel bed in the States next to his sleeping wife.
She woke up shouting "Earthquake!"
He didn't know whether to admit what he had been doing and disgust her, or pretend it was an earthquake and worry her!

[toccatanfudge]

but crocodile - he'd tried it on with her - he was ALREADY FEELING HORNY - she turned him down (no problem) - he didn't push it (big thumbs up) - he was still feeling horny when she went for a shower so he did DIY.

I guess he could have pressurised her into doing it with him.............but then that WOULD be wrong

[Gay40]

Freaky, indeed.

[whatthecrocodilehatwasthat]

so now I'm getting called uptight as well?!

Wow, it's getting pretty personal!

Perhaps I just wouldn't appreciate a relatively new boyfriend wanking in my bed. Maybe OP's not at the point where she feels comfortable enough with him that it's ok. I can understand how she feels, but if you how I should feel in any situation, well - you've got a great gift!

Do you know not that it's a form of mental abuse to tell people how they SHOULD feel in any given situation, and disregard what they are telling you that they feel?

[toccatanfudge]

but they've been shagging in the bed - she may well have given him a hand or blow job in the bed.

WHY is him doing it himself in the bed they've already shagged in so awful??????

[whatthecrocodilehatwasthat]

Sorry, just ignore last post!

Yes, realise she asked whether it was ok.

SOrry!!

[PeppermintPasty]

i'm now feeling queasy at the thought of jonathan ross tossing himself off. cheers queefer...bleurrggh

[lifeissweet]

I will concede that the OP, for whatever reason, feels bothered by it. I am struggling, however, with the outrage. The vast majority of us seem to think he's done nothing wrong, so how is he supposed to know that it is ok to have sex with you in that bed, but not to do it himself? He is not a mind reader and it would seem that most people would not have a worry about this.

If it is a problem, maybe you need to tell him. If he then ignores it and wanks in your bed when you're not there, then you would be justified in thinking him disrespectful. At this point, I think it's a little harsh.

[whatthecrocodilehatwasthat]

fair point lifeissweet - better put than I tried to put it!!