wanking while i'm in the shower

[isheaknob]

ok have a bf of 9 months. have got really close lately. he stays over at mine 2-3 times a week.
anyway he tried it on this morning and i said no i wasn't up for it as i needed to sort the kids out (they were downstairs watching tv). so i have a very quick shower and come back into the bedroom. he has a towel wrapped around him when before he had boxers. i ask him why and he said he was getting ready for a shower and his boxers were in his bag.
so he has a shower and it becomes obvious that he had a very quick wank while i was in the shower. i confronted him and he admitted it saying that he didn't think it was wrong as he was feeling extra horny! he said sorry but now i just feel weird about it. the thing is its not like he hasn't had it in a while as we have been doing it twice the last few days.
just need some female views as i'm not sure if i'm over re-acting. just because i say no does that mean he has to go and jerk off!
thanx.
oh by the way am a regular and am far too embarrassed to have my real name

[FanjolinaJolie]

snigger @ 'wank police'

That would be one overworked force!!

[Rafwife]

ok I know now so next time I say no to my dh he can go wank its not a problem and how it makes me feel is not relevent thanks for that explanation!!!!

Right now I'd expect my hubby too tbh as we have been slacking a smidge in that dept due to me being a bit preg/poorly it kind of turns me on tbh.

I don't mind if I am tired and he knocks one off in the shower fair doos, and visa versa, Sometimes if he has done an epic shift he is understandably tired, he knows why I go for a late night shower I'd die if he came in and said stop wanking. I let him sleep I get off no harm done.

Also post sex when I have still felt like I could have another and just want him again I have done it whilst dh has been in the shower, and I am in bed shoot me for having the horn!

[TotorosOcarina]

How weird,

If I wanted a shag but DH didn't have time, I'd have a wank whilst he was in the shower no problem!

Do not understand the problem at all!

[OutrageousFlavourLikeFreesias]

Yay for the Wank Police! I'm now picturing Gene Hunt in his black leather gloves.

He can come and police my wank any old time he likes...

(slinks back under stone of depravity)

[isheaknob]

i'm not uptight at all! i don't care if he wanks on his own in his house. i just did not appreciate him doing it in my bed while i was in the shower when i had said no. so if i said no and it was the night would it be ok for him to do it while next to me?

[TotorosOcarina]

You said no?

You said no to sex but did you then say 'and please don't wank in my bed'?!

If DH was wanking next to me in bed I would join him

[thickirishsausage]

shoot me for having an opinion!!!
its obvious to me now that if your opinion is not the same as the majority on here then its wrong and your told so!!!
Me and my dh have a very helthy sex life and quite often have a wank in front of each other I personally dont see why he would need to do it sneakily which it what it seems to me has happened!!!!
I will shut my trap now, iv said my thoughts on the situation and been jumped on for having a different view on it, sorry!!!!!

[CakeandRoses]

Huge difference between doing it alone in a bed and doing when your DP is next to you - and even then, the latter is not necessarily wrong if the 'idle' party is ok with it

[Rafwife]

You said no to sex, not wanking. You attitude changing throughout the op says a lot.

It starts we are close, he is at mine several nights a week, yet it's YOUR bed. You let him share "your" bed. The guy stays there half the week and after 9 months has probably done all sorts of nasties with you in that bed or not.....so sees it as his personal space as well.

Does he have to ask your permission for everything you so in that bed seriously during rudes? I wouldn't ask him to move in anytime soon if you can't cope with him wanking in "your" house. I think you are way OTT, tbh and may just scare him off.

[TotorosOcarina]

Even if there were a 'wank police' I think they would be better suited to patrolling tube staions and alley ways rather than storming in on DPS sat on beds!

[Gigantaur]

you didn't want to have sex so he had a wank? unless he wiped his cock on your curtains i don't see the problem

[Malificence]

Of course it's ok for him to do it next to you in bed (and vice versa)! Why ever not?
Masturbation is part of a healthy sex life, not a shameful secret.
He was being respectful of your feelings imho, you had said no to sex so he sorted himself out instead of sulking or whining, he's got a healthy sexual attitude and feels comfortable around you.

[OutrageousFlavourLikeFreesias]

Okay, more seriously, OP -

I think what bothers you is that you think of wanking as a private activity which belongs somewhere discreet. It sounds as if for you, your BF wanking in your bed is the equivalent of him peeing in a vase because the bathroom was busy and he couldn't be bothered to wait.

Whereas to most of us on this thread, it's probably more like...scratching an itch? I don't know. But definitely not the disrespectful equivalent of peeing inappropriately.

Would it be okay for him to do it while next to you? Depends. Honestly, if my DH asked me for sex and I'd turned him down, it wouldn't bother me. (In fact I might kind of enjoy it. ) On the other hand, if he left the bathroom door open while using the toilet, I'd be as disgusted as you are now.

I don't think you're a prude, I just think your attitude to physical privacy is different to your BF's. In the end it doesn't matter what we all think, what matters is that you and BF have different views on it.

But really, being the Wank Police about it isn't going to help. Perfectly fair to ask him to be discreet if you don't want to see it (although it sounds as if he was discreet, to be honest). But asking him to wait till he gets home...well, that's a bit much, isn't it? Would you have preferred him to go downstairs with a massive hard-on?

[EmmaBemma]

Another one who doesn't see the problem here - but you do seem determined to make it a problem regardless of what your respondents here think!

[isheaknob]

thanks everyone for your opnion, i wasn't expecting so many replies so quick!

[commeuneimage]

I've been known to have a wank myself while my lover's in the shower. Even just after a lovely sex session. Because he turns me on so much. You're lucky to have such a virile boyfriend - count your blessings

[AnyFucker]

OP...you started changing your mind after your OP

now you are changing it back again to feeling outraged because one poster agreed with you!

make your mind up

better still, get your bf to post on Dadsnet

[toccatanfudge]

This has to be THE most bizarre post I have ever read !

You've shagged him in "your" bed, but you don't want him doing DYI in it.

I like someone else thought it was about you wanking in the shower to which I was going to say - yes I do that too

[toccatanfudge]

[AnyFucker]

tocc...have you been on the vino ?

[whatthecrocodilehatwasthat]

I'm totally with you OP - it's pretty disrespectful to do it in your bed. I'd be extremely pissed off. When it's a relatively young relationship, he should have a bit more respect. He should have waited til he left your house.

[toccatanfudge]

no - I swear to God I haven't - but have been chatting to my shag date on IM

[arcadia96]

I don't think anyone's made the point - good on him, better that than going off and shagging s.o. else instead!!!

I haven't laughed so much in months til reading this thread so thank you all!

[fizzfiend]

If I had felt horny and he said he had to rush off or something, I would have wanked in his bed. It's purely a release of sexual tension...and you did turn him down. So not like he said no to you and then wanked in the shower which would have been a whole other issue.

Not disrespectful at all....he probably didn't expect you to even know he did it!!

[whatthecrocodilehatwasthat]

yes but surely the fact that he thought she wouldn't find out means that he also knew that it wasn't respectful? Otherwise why didn't he say - hey, I'm just going to whack one off whilst you have a shower ok??

What a prick