Continuing culvert conspiracies in Ambridge - discuss The Archers here

[PseudoBadger]

Won't someone please give Kenton a kick in the FA Cup Finals, and a link to Money Saving Expert?

I'm waiting for Eddie's reaction when he returns from wherever-he's-been to find that David is renting to Christmas Competition.
Do we revert to The Grundys and Their Oppressors warring?

The retirement things is just ridiculous. Surely Tom will want to explore what Helen's marriage might mean for the future of the farm? Never mind the fact he knows that she's on a countdown to a RoBaby and only a few months ago seemed to have lost all ambition other than cooking and making sure the cricket whites were laundered. And yes what about Rich?

IoW is the perfect place for them to go - back to the 1950s where Rob can buy Helen a drink in a ladies glass.

Might the the Fairbrethren be looking to sell eggs and breed more geese? Not that that's too obviously the way to fame and fortune either.

They are selling direct not via supermarket and the Grundy's already know about it.

There is going to be an issue with the way they're kept/ they will want to stay longer, and Daveeed will be hit with a fine. Jill is rarely wrong.

She is a pigeon, but a rather lovely one. I have a big soft spot for Jill.

And presumably David agreed as it was only 100 goslings, and only for a month/few months (can't remember which). It's now 250 goslings, and if it was hard finding a home for 100 it will be harder finding a home for 250!

I'm assuming Pat and Tony will retire from an active role in the farm but will still be partners in, and take an income from, the farming business. That's quite often what happens in these situations. It enables them to continue to put some costs through the business - fuel, telephones, electricity, etc.

Toby is a twit. 250 geese?! Did I hear that correctly? Where on earth is he going to sell them all?! It's also very labour intensive when it comes to dressing and plucking, (thinknof all the unpaid help the Grundys have with theirs) not to mention storage of the finished product. They are clearly going to fall flat on their faces with this. Maybe they won't be able to pay the rent?

Still, what did Rex expect, sending Toby on his own? The exchange with Pip about the long drive and Rex not going with him made no sense at all.

I hadn't even thought of that part farmerswife. Though- chances of them being around come Christmas time??

I'm assuming that the internet will supply the Fairbrothers with the correct information dairyfarmers How can they go wrong ?

Pips giggles also on my tits. Dreadful acting. When she was showing them the buildings for the geese she sounded like a manic estate agent on nitrous oxide.

Jill seems to be a bit schadenfreude about Heatherpet. I think HP will be brought back to live at the farm putting Jills nose out of joint as she's turfed off to LL to make room.

A love triangle with the Fairbrethren is tedious beyond measure. Lazy scriptwriting (if it comes to that).

Feebs is going to DTD with Alex and Kate will fail to be "cool mum" about it all.

They'd never manage having HP at the farm without Jill to do the housekeeping though, would they?

I don't know ANY brothers in real life who have both had "dealings" with the same girl. What is in the Ambridge water?

R4 Love the idea of Rob at Bestival...it would blow his mind

Full of hussies, Gypsy. He'd probably make Helen come home early if he saw women there wearing shorts, or snogging men in public. Or GAYS.

Reminds me of a friend's husband, who always seems like a nice guy, but who I happen to know berated her for her sexual history at an early stage of their relationship. (She was about 25 and had slept with maybe half a dozen men FGS.) Can never forget that about him.

I've got the answer to the Heatherpet problem... She can move in with Bert when he goes back to the bungalow! (Is he still living at Brookfield? That place must have elastic walls!) All on one level, it's perfect for someone with reduced mobility

Profit margin on a goose - I found a site from Norfolk (wasn't that where Toby went?) where they're £5,70 odd a gosling and they're about £50 a bird at Chrimbo, no?
I said to DH "we should get into geese" (not that we have acreage or a barn, obvs)
He looked at me quizzically and then I started my sentence with "on the archers...." and he rolled his eyes and walked away..

"Stiff marrow competition"

Elephants yep and all of them in fancy dress. I've never seen so many smurfs in one place at any one time. I can imagine Knob having very little time for fancy dress or blue body paint

Even if they manage to sell all 250 pretty easily, that's a very low return for 6 months' work by two people.

So that's £11k before deducting rent, utilities, food, other misc costs plus the van Toby bought.

They are not making a liveable profit anytime soon

There was another fnarr moment on yesterday's episode if anyone is about to listen again- I can't remember it now, but we are averaging at least 1 innuendo an episode. I did wonder if my 14 year old ds had joined the SW team.

BOOP for tonight just for having a set of characters with distinctive voices. And another for Roy turning up the volume on the tv and shushing Kenton.

Sorry to blow a theory out of the water, but it's Camp Bestival coming up soon, which is in Dorset.
Bestival (on the IOW) takes place in September.

If TA can play fast and loose with reality (see discussions on the profitability of geese) then so can I.

Either Knob is going to Bestival or he is going to have some childhood-repressed-horror-regression thing. Or Charlie will find him out in his absence.
Any of the above will do.

Is Amex deco axed - otherwise the IOW fling could be an Amex opportunity don't you think? Rob will defo bring up having a baby while on their hols. But it is odd - why go to your childhood holiday resort with new partner when you hate your family. Could it be a device to shed more light on rob's past (eg old family friend still there and quite chatty). Or is it the location of Robs secret underground lair?