Continuing culvert conspiracies in Ambridge - discuss The Archers here

[PseudoBadger]

Won't someone please give Kenton a kick in the FA Cup Finals, and a link to Money Saving Expert?

I don't think he did, but the word 'relationship' will only ever suggest one thing to Brian!

I don't see Farebrethren Geese lasting long as a partnership.

Please tell me that Rob isn't going to become a long term character, and take a big part in Bridge farm. No no no no.

Pip's endless giggling is really getting on my tits.

And why is Ruth so exhausted? Her mum's in hospital. All this '300 miles driving nonsense' is also really annoying.

Gah. It's all very infuriating at the mo

Jill sounds like a pigeon. Everything she says sounds like the way they mumble and coo. But why was she explainjng at length what Ruth is doing/going through?

And to me that conversation between Charlie and Rob was very contrived. If Rob didn't tell Charlie that Stefan wasn't coming back, then who did? As he knew before he spoke to Rob and Rob was obviously keeping it quiet. You would kind of assume it was all made up by Rob because Stefan cannot speak from his shallow grave on Lakey hill but if that were the case was Rob so cunning he told someone else who told Charlie to make it look like Rob was hiding it hence diverting attention from it being an obviously made up story??

Or does Stefam know that Rob knows and Stefan is spinning Rob a line about his mum knowing that Rob knows why he is doing it but that Rob cannot say anything without admitting that he knows why Stefan is hiding??

And Charlie knows. Rob suspects that Charlie knows but doesn't know for sure. Stefan knows that Rob knows but doesn't know that Charlie suspects.

I guessed Charlie knew about Stefan due to Rob's rotas/payroll?

Toby Trouble is turning into a predictable fuck up. He is blatantly going to break pipsqueak's heart. Cannot wait for her to go.

I think this holiday for Helen and Rob is going to end in disaster- or at least be the start of her realising how controlling and manipulative he is.

I don't think she'll realise, necessarily - though I think she might come back either a bit subdued, or pregnant.

Original someone up thread mentioned how interesting it is to never hear her complain about Rob, she seems totally unaware that he has come into her life and is moulding her into a subservient domestic slave. I wonder if whilst they're away, distractions of work/Henry removed, will she begin to see how he has been controlling her? Or at the very least, begin to have doubts about his character!

I'd really hope so Golf! But she just finds it charming when he tells her what to wear, and then makes him a chicken cacciatore, mostly!

Jill sounds like a pigeon. Everything she says sounds like the way they mumble and coo. But why was she explainng at length what Ruth is doing/going through?

She doesn't care that much about Ruth. What is really peeving her is that David and Pip are getting pally with the Fairbretheren, relatives of the ghost of Grace.
I don't understand how Ruth doesn't know about Marneys - you think one of David, Jill, Pip, Josh or Ben would have mentioned something by now. I can just hear the conversation:
Ruth: how's things, canny lad?
Ben:
Ruth: any news?
Ben: they've put geese in Marney's
Ruth: who has?
Ben: Dunno really. Ask Dad. Can I go now?

There's lots that doesn't make sense atm. Why can't Charlie speak to HR and get address / phone number from them? Why is Rob going the IOW - where he went as a child - for his holidays when he keeps telling us what an awful time he had with his parents? Are we going to hear more about the mechanics of the Bridge Farm retirement - are they selling to Tom and Helen, how is this financed, how is it split, is RichJohn included, etc, etc.

I have re-read minkGrundy's post and am now going to lie down with a headache.

You would think that R4, but I can't see that conversation happening as Daveed and Ruth mostly seem to forget they have two sons, and especially Ben!

Rob might get all nasty on the IOW because of the memories, perhaps? And presumably he'll go ape at Hellon taking over half Bridge Farm now, or have I missed that?

I've never been to the Isle of Wight but I would have thought it was an ideal place to take a young child for a holiday. Why are they leaving Henry behind? If they wanted a romantic break why aren't they going somewhere like Venice or Paris or the south of France? Odd.

Isn't Pip going to realise Rex is really better than twatty Tobes?

Charlie knows more about Stefan than he's saying doesn't he?

(I want Rob to be killed on the village green in a Wicker Man style burning denouement, happy to have Helen and Kate demise with him)

Jill's delivery is ridiculous, she sounds like she takes a gasp of helium before she speaks. All the old hands can fall into speaking in bursts. Brian is now the best actor now that Matt has gone. Brian is always Brian, believable.

All the young women have the same sardonic tone which makes them all sound the same it's awful.

I can't get on with new Tony. He sounds like a listener wrote in and said 'can I play Tony?' and they said yes.

Maybe Ruth will never come back - bonus. I'd like David to be with someone less dronetastic.

Leaving Henry behind? I must have missed that Gasp0.

Is the Isle of Wight cheap? Or did Rob choose it because he'll be able to exploit his control freakery to its full extent in a place he knows and Helen doesn't? (And surely he must have been there with Jess?)

Alternatively, Helen strikes me as the sort of person who might have fluent French / a smattering of Italian up her sleeve. Perhaps he's very bad at languages.

Yes Gasp0 - I have been there several times and it's most definitely somewhere you go with kids. It's really not the place for a romantic break - it's like the land that time forgot which is lovely with small children or your elderly mum but it's a weird place to go on holiday with a partner.

Pip's endless giggling is really getting on my tits

Seconded. I think the actress must think it's the way to convey flirtiness.

Seconded also about the IoW as a non-romantic destination, particularly if they're going in three weeks' time which is the start of the summer holidays so the island will be awash with children. If you don't have to go on holiday during the most expensive period of the year, why would you?

I think that Rob has succumbed to that dread disease: Ambridge Personality Transplant.
When he says "a little hoiday in IoW" what he really means is "I haven't told you yet but we're going to Bestival".

Pip's endless giggling is really getting on my tits

It's the sucking through her teeth that gets on mine!

Jill sounds like a pigeon

That made me snort unattractively. Her delivery is getting worse, I think she's a terrible actor (may the radio gods strike me down!!).

I think she's a terrible actor

I have visions of her reaction to that ... a small and disappointed "Oh!"

"How mean, you two!"

Her delivery is getting worse

To be fair, is it her? A lot of the actors seem to be speaking very slowly and very deliberately at the moment. It sounds very unnatural and not at all like normal chatty, speech patterns. Have they been told to do it?

Yes songbird I'm in your camp. Jill had to explain Ruth's news because Dave was in an area where his mobile couldn't pick up, and shes being weird because the Fairbrethren bring back bad memories for her.

Isn't the goose farm in Hollowtree?

"I have visions of her reaction to that ... a small and disappointed "Oh!""

HAHA ah but poor Jill. She's working into her old age as an unpaid slave. Does ANYONE ever make her a cup of tea, let alone a delicious cake or a full dinner? They'll really miss her when she dies/gets frailer.

I can't abide Pip around Fairbrother T. She's a grown woman for goodness sake. She's had boyfriends before. But she's acting like I would have been embarrassed to act as a 14 year old!

What is the profit margin on a goose? I know that a supermarket charges a lot for them but I doubt the producer makes much per head. The Grundies doing a few turkeys for local sale with few overheads just to make a bit extra for xmas is one thing, but to support two people you'd surely need thousands of birds not a few hundred.

Jill loves being a martyr an unpaid slave.

Apologies. Lowfield agrees that it is Hollowtree, not Marney's.

I think they mentioned Marneys in relation to the field they can spare for the geese to graze in.