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Ding Dong Merrily On High..it's December in the pushchair shed!

1000 replies

maxybrown · 01/12/2009 08:09

24 DAYS TO GO YIPPEE YIPPEE YIPPEE!!! [GRIN][GRIN][GRIN]

Happy December everyone!

OP posts:
nicolamumof3wisemen · 13/12/2009 15:23

nappy you can't buy medised any more for under 6's so it can be a bit tricky to get now.

maxybrown · 13/12/2009 16:48

Afternoon all, been to see Father Christmas today - Not a tear in sight from Ds, was amazed!! Did German Markets a little bit but sooooooooo busy, tree decorating shortly

Oh Jan, DS only had trouble with his last molars, Anbesol liquid worked wonders. You have my sympathy. Thanks for PP too

It is about time we had festive smileys - be too late at this rate!

OP posts:
nicolamumof3wisemen · 13/12/2009 17:24

im really really fed up. Another hard work day on my own. DH at pub. i've ruined dinner. Really not happy.

maxybrown · 13/12/2009 17:42

Oh Nic I really do sympathise with you. I know I haven't got 3 boys but I can imagine, Even though I have my Dh at home at weekends, Sunday we do not see him at all as that is work day - along with every evening, it is very hard having him in the house but not doing anything, and me itching to talk to him after being on my own all day. It can be shitty so I can multiply my lonliness and fedupness to try and understand honey. Oh gosh, I hope that didn't make you feel worse?

OP posts:
nicolamumof3wisemen · 13/12/2009 17:48

I just feel so fed up, i've started crying now. I really have had enough of this life atm. If i could walk out the door i would, and i'd just keep walking.

maxybrown · 13/12/2009 18:04

Oh god, been there. I am trying to not be too nice as that makes it worse sometimes, then you can't stop bloody crying. I wish i could do something...... damn. It is awful when you get like that. It's that feeling of getting your coat, nothing else and going never tellling anyone etc....I kind of understand why people go missing sometimes. Thing is, even though you have those feelings, you still have the inner sanity to stay and not do it, but the shitty feeling keeps getting shoved to the bottom of the jar......the lid will blow eventually. Bum bum bum, sorry i can't help. xxxx

OP posts:
maxybrown · 13/12/2009 18:18

Are you ok? please come back on speak to me.

OP posts:
janxmas · 13/12/2009 18:33

Back from party -dp had to take Luka home as he is too grumpy. Thanks for the advice nappy and maxy...we are using nurophen at the moment, but will try that other stuff maxy.

Oh Nicola - sending you a big piece of cake. Do you have your mum near by. If I am on my own, I stick the kids in the car - switch on some music and drive to my mums for sunday dinner - makes the day go a lot quicker and she always has the papers. Could you arrange someone to take one of the boys for a bit?..hope things improve - its rotten when you feel down

nicolamumof3wisemen · 13/12/2009 18:42

god i can't stop crying/

DH home yelled at me for giving him a hard time. I try never to shout in front of boys, so luka jumped out of his skin and promptly started screaming.

I wouldn't leave as i wouldn't trust my boys with anyone else. Im just so tired of everything right now. And i suppose its come to a head. Jan i don't drive so no way to get to my mums. She doesn't invite us very often, strangely since i had luka!!

I am starting to think life would be easier on my own with the boys, at least i might get some time to myself then if he had them overnightor somethng?

sorry to drag the mood down ladies will shuffle off now

maxybrown · 13/12/2009 19:20

No it's not about dragging the mood down. Let it out.

It is so so hard to explain to someone what it is like doing everything for mostly 24/7. Going to work is much easier.

Is he angry because he feels there isn't much he can do about it but feels bad maybe?
I imagine you don't really WANT to be on your own, it is just because you prob feel like may as well as you are mostly anyway. besides, if he could manage to have them if you were apart, someway altering his working pattern, then surely that can be managed when with you? Can you not have a chat about that? No way around it? Otherwise it is a lonely shitty existance. Is there not an option for diff shift pattern?

OP posts:
janxmas · 13/12/2009 19:24

What does your dp say when you tell him how you feel?...is he generally supportive? Does he have any practical ideas of how to make you feel like you can cope better.
I think it is worse in the winter - as you don't have the option of wearing the boys out in the park etc.
Am sorry to hear you are having a crappy time

StrictlyKatty · 13/12/2009 19:27

Nicola I know how you feel. DH works away Mon-Fri and sometimes I am so lonely I couls go mad. We live in a v. small village so there is nothing to do and in the evenings I'm trapped in the house on my own.

When DH comes home he wants to replax which means I feel like I never have a break. I've had the thoughs... oh if we were divorced he have to take DS every other weekend and I'd get a whole weekend peace

StrictlyKatty · 13/12/2009 19:28

so many typos! Ooops mean relax/thoughts obviously!

sal1309 · 13/12/2009 20:04

evening all

big hugs nicola, I dont know how i would cope with 3 when hubby is working all the time. we have had a similar arguement recently about me never having any me time and how i might aswell be a single mum ect. We have sorted it out though and he is making some effort.

I hope you and dh can sort it out. And let it out you are not bringing the mood down.

nicolamumof3wisemen · 13/12/2009 20:42

Thank you ladies...

Luka has always been very 'difficult'

He was an 'angel' baby during the day but never a good sleeper

However the last year or so he has got worse. Very demanding i have never known a child like it...

He is painfully shy, he has delayed speech, he likes everything to be done in a certain way or there can be a amaor meltdown. And i mean major. To me having experience of two other boys of my own and lots of my friends children's it is not 'normal' he is very extreme. I am just exhausted and feel like my 2yr old is running our lives. Even tate notices how everything revolves around Luka, we have to dress him in certain clothes, walk certain routes. Everyone has to sit same place for dinner he hates it otherwise. Theres lots of other examples but i can't think straight atm.

I feel very run down at his behaviour, He restricts alot of things we can do because i never quite know how he'll be in different situations But where do i start to begin with finding out of he is possibly autistic or may have any other needs. I want to help him and us as a family. He can be such a dear lovely little man too.

janxmas · 13/12/2009 21:15

Oh Nicola you sound so stressed and I know how you feel about your Luka - you know they sound very similar our two - we have often noted it. I feel like I walk on egg shells around Luka and like Tate - Frida knows we all dance to his tune. I do think they have a certain personality type which is very particular. What do the nursery think?
Take yourself to the doctors with dp and voice all your concerns about his behaviour and how it is affecting you and your health -mentally and physically. They will know where to start and hopefully get you some much need support.
Thinking of you

maxybrown · 13/12/2009 21:55

For a short while James was like this, I do believe there is an element of it in all 2 year olds, and that some are more bloody minded than others. Obviously 2 boys before you know what to expect almost, but then there is individual personalities too mixed in and as we know, we are all so so different. My sister and I are like chalk and cheese. When my brother was small he used to pass out with temper - pure temper!! He is lovely now though.......but you wouldn't cross him lol!

Anyhow, what am I trying to say? So damn hard in text......when they start acting in certain ways, it is easy to end up being swept along with it for ease (obviously!!) but once on your 3rd even more so because you have 2 others to consider too so make life as easy as possible short term, OBVIOUSLY!!! Maybe a lot of it with Luka has become a routine you have all got caught up in because of his responses, a lot of them being normal 2 year old things, the youngest, his personality etc etc. So when he screams you change to stop him, or always make allowances so you never reach that stage with him. Or you don't allow him to get to the stage of having an absolute fit so he thinks all is ok and sometimes they need to have the screaming fit a few times.....maybe lol. My Ds has funny quirks, he will NOT have his sleeves rolled up to the point of screaming, he cannot stand water being poured over him (so he has a bath about once a week as it is so bloody irritating) but he screams the place down.....like I am killing him, I mean it, it is horrific, like I am pouring boiling water on him I still carry on mind when I do it. He is very very particular and I think that is just his personality, not Autistic or anything. He also will only have his trousers below his waist and things like that, but it is easier for me, I only have one so have more time to let him rant things out if needbe, it is much harder to do that once you get beyond one, but it is still weraing......toddlers are the little darlings. Just recently, I have felt like leaving james parked up in a shop somewhere.

Jan made interesting point about nursery - they obviously have no major concerns with him, but they would be a really good place to ask about him as with none of you there, how he actually reacts. i also think with the slower talkers, they are more in their own world, for obvious reasons.

I hope I don't come across as all "it's this it's that" etc, am genuinely concerned for you. Big hug.x

OP posts:
BexieID · 13/12/2009 23:43

Nicola, Luka sounds very much like my Tom. Tom is Mr Unpredictable. Today he had constant paddys about his runny nose, but wouldn't let us wipe it. And I quite often have to stick tissue up his nose and feret around for bogies, lol. He likes things done a certain way. Will only eat the same things and refuses to try anything different. I could go on. Am really hoping baby will be the complete opposite, although Tom is quite a good sleeper. Stays in bed until we turn hid bedroom light on.

nappyaddict · 14/12/2009 00:39

Really I didn't know that? I've never been questioned but usually get it when DS is with me. If they did I would just say it was for my other child.

Ha you can still wear them out at the park I have to else DS is just a nightmare. For the last few weekends we have been at the park, hills, woods and on the bike in the freezing cold, wind and light rain. Dress up warm, put on waterproofs and it's fine. DS loves it even more when it's raining so he can splash in every puddle we come across!! Another good place we have found for weekends is the library. They tend to be quiet and ours is open Sunday as well now. There is also one toddler group a few miles away that we sometimes travel to cos it is open on a Saturday so it's worth finding out if there's anything similar in your area. Netmums is a good place to ask about stuff like that.

Other things we do at weekends are go and look round markets or car boots, go to fun days and fairs(not really relevant in winter but in the summer there's usually one every weekend somewhere if you look around for them), go to museums if they have any child friendly stuff going on, some times go to the zoo, safari park, farm, on the steam train or cadbury world.

Nicola Does DH at least get a day off where he can help you with the boys or perhaps any days where he starts in the afternoon so he can at least help out in the mornings?

FlyMeToDunoon · 14/12/2009 10:42

Morning everyone. Nicola I am sending you a hug. I hope things seem a bit better this morning. I know how hard I find it looking after my three during the week and would find it very difficult to be on my own every weekend.
I think you would be wise to seek some advice. Even just talking to different people about it will probably relieve some of the worry and stress. You may get some good advice about strategies to use.
I know it's not comparable but DD3 is very stroppy atm. She is contrary about everything.

Well Dp has his first work free day today. Yikes!

NaccetyMac · 14/12/2009 13:24

Sorry you are so down, Nic. xx

Just bought a FP Kuji, looks nice, hope it is!

sal1309 · 14/12/2009 18:27

nic hope your feeling a bit better today

bargain 3 wheeler if they will courier for some one

cgi.ebay.co.uk/3-WHEEL-RED-BUGGY_W0QQitemZ390131353824QQcmdZViewItemQQptZUK_Baby_BabyTravel_Pushchai rs_GL?hash=item5ad5a408e0

nicolamumof3wisemen · 14/12/2009 18:50

Thanks i do feel bit better today, the weekdays are always easier and decided to speak to HV about luka too. So feeling more in control today, thanks x

horsemadgal · 14/12/2009 19:55

Quiet here today.
Glad you feel a bit better Nicola.

5inthesleighbed · 14/12/2009 19:57

Evening all.

Glad you're feeling a bit better Nicola. It's hard work with three boys isn't it! I hate it when Gav works during the school holidays, its a nightmare. Can't wait until H is bigger and I can use a toddler step on the D's pram for him. Will make it so much easier. Of course having the car is loads better as well.

DS2 was sent home from school today with a bad belly, so has to stay off for 48 hrs. He misses his christmas party . Really peed off with my sister as well, spoilt cow that she is. I'm doing a course on a Tuesday ran by the NAS, and she was having ds3. She won't have ds2, so now I've had to cancel my place for tomorrow . It's not as if I ask her to watch my kids all the time. And she forgets that I pick her daughter up from school every week when she is at work, and also watch her during the school holidays. Aaaaarrrrgggghhhhh!!!!!!!!!

Sorry for the mini rant

I think I need a litle purchase to cheer me up

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