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Original poster

Week before exchange - I don’t want to move

221 replies

shoopashoop · 03/02/2022 04:34

Please help.
I know last minute wobbles are normal. But I feel so panicked and can’t stop crying. I can’t sleep.
We need to move and looked to ages. Moving from a 2 bed terrace to a 3 bed semi with huge garden. It is a completely new area though as prices are ridiculous here. We have visited twice in the last week and it just didn’t feel ‘right’. I’m so scared. It’s harder because we have been in touch with the vendors a lot and they are so lovely.
What do I do?

OP posts:
Original poster
shoopashoop · 03/02/2022 04:36

I’m even thinking g of messaging the vendor so voice some of my concerns so she can hopefully alay them. But this is bonkers isn’t it...

OP posts:
CloseYourEyesAndSee · 03/02/2022 04:47

You proceed with the sale. You got this far for good reasons and this is anxiety not rationality driving you.
It will be fine.

RS29 · 03/02/2022 04:54

@shoopashoop Try and think logically OP - you say you need to move - what are the reasons? More space? Closer to work/family? Cheaper area? Does your new house offer what you need?
Totally normal to have the wobbles at this stage but you’ve gone for this new house for a reason!

Totalwasteofpaper · 03/02/2022 05:01

@CloseYourEyesAndSee

You proceed with the sale. You got this far for good reasons and this is anxiety not rationality driving you. It will be fine.
My initial thoughts are this.

You need to move for space presumably.
Prices are only going one way right now.

What are your concrete concerns? Rather than general panic and fear of change...

I was similar when we moved two/three years ago and actually was pretty unhappy for the first 6 months. I don't really like change 😂
I now firmly LOVE my house. The space and layout, the location and garden are amazing and much better than our old place.

Mintyt · 03/02/2022 05:03

Totally normal to have a wobble, and once your in feel regretful and then you settle down and it's ok and you will be pleased you went ahead, you will be fine

Polpette · 03/02/2022 05:10

I was where you are a few weeks ago. I was just as distressed on moving day and convinced I'd made a mistake.

I'm now in my new home and could not be happier (even though we don't have heating, a proper kitchen, drinkable water!).

I love my new home with all my heart despite the chaos.

It certainly feels completely right now but definitely did not feel right all the way through the buying process but I kept being logical 'more space, bigger garden, longer term potential'.

I'm so glad that I powered on regardless of it not feeling right.

I'm not dismissing how you're feeling OP but do try and examine what's causing this concern and exactly why the house doesn't feel right. If you can't nail it down to logical reasons then perhaps it's fear of change? We've all been stuck in a weird limbo for two years, a house move is emotionally disruptive at the best of times.

Good luck. I hope you find a path though this.

Cattitudes · 03/02/2022 05:45

Was the not feeling right due to the area/ neighbours or some other factor? If it was neighbours/ area then perhaps listen to those voices. Also join the local Facebook page and search through how often your road is mentioned negatively. Look for local crime, compared to current area. Visit other times of day etc.

If it was more not seeing yourself in that house then it is probably normal buyers regret and will pass.

Marshmelllo · 03/02/2022 05:48

You need to be certain, because there will be no going back.

You are not forced to do this.

Let's go through your misgivings.

What is it that's worrying you about the new house?

Zonder · 03/02/2022 05:53

Totally normal. We moved several years ago from a little mid terrace to a big detached house. I had horrible wobbles about it not feeling right, being at the edge of the village instead of right in the middle as before, all sorts, even though the house ticked all our boxes.
Then we moved in and for months I just felt so grateful for the new house and the many ways it was better than the old.

How far away are you moving? Do you know people there?

Make a list of all the things that are better about the new house.

CaroleFuckingBaskin · 03/02/2022 06:04

Absolutely normal to feel this way. I have nightmares leading up to a house move always. Ridiculous things like the rooms get smaller and my furniture is not going to fit etc. To the point that I have to go for another look!
You will be fine. You are moving because your current home is no longer right for you.

chukwe · 03/02/2022 06:16

I wouldn't advice anyone to move from a 2 bed to 3 bed as it's a waste of time and resources as the footprint of both are the same

Instead try and move to a 4 bed not a 3 bed and loft. It'll make a huge difference

FindmeuptheFarawaytree · 03/02/2022 06:35

It's completely normal, just try and keep in mind all those good reasons you have for moving and for which you chose the house you are buying. We actually moved from a 4 bed (new build semi) to a 3 bed (cottage), which felt weird, but our 3 bed is bigger, in a better location and has a lovely garden. Also have in mind some of the things you can look forward to doing to the house to make it yours - is there a room you'd like to paint a particular colour? Where will you put garden furniture to enjoy being in the garden as Spring comes along? Where will the bbq go? How will you arrange your new bedroom?

eurochick · 03/02/2022 06:37

@chukwe

I wouldn't advice anyone to move from a 2 bed to 3 bed as it's a waste of time and resources as the footprint of both are the same

Instead try and move to a 4 bed not a 3 bed and loft. It'll make a huge difference

What nonsense. The footprint of a 3 bed can be vastly different.
CloseYourEyesAndSee · 03/02/2022 06:41

@chukwe

I wouldn't advice anyone to move from a 2 bed to 3 bed as it's a waste of time and resources as the footprint of both are the same

Instead try and move to a 4 bed not a 3 bed and loft. It'll make a huge difference

This comment is stupid for so many reasons
Mumdiva99 · 03/02/2022 06:56

@chukwe

I wouldn't advice anyone to move from a 2 bed to 3 bed as it's a waste of time and resources as the footprint of both are the same

Instead try and move to a 4 bed not a 3 bed and loft. It'll make a huge difference

Pointless unhelpful comment. The price difference here between a 3 and 4 bed is over 100k. Not many people can make the jump (ever) from 2 to 4.....lots have to stick at a 3 bed. The difference I'm loving space between a 2 and 3 can make a massive difference to daily life.

Wobbles are normal.

Original poster
shoopashoop · 03/02/2022 07:06

Gosh thank you for the kind replies.
I managed an hours sleep and have woken up with my heart racing, so it helps to read people have felt the same.
It is the location - but I’m not sure if that’s just because it’s different to here. And it’s 17 miles away. Not necessarily terrible. I just love it here and will miss it so much. I just got a sense walking down the street that I didn’t like it.
We have a 2dc (youngest 6 months) so we can’t stay here and we looked for so long.
It’s just a lot of change at once. My eldest will be starting school, further from family, we don’t know anyone there. Worrying about the commute when I return to work.
The house itself is lovely and we are getting so much more for our money. The footprint is SO much bigger to answer PP and there is scope to extend. It has a really ‘wow factor’ garden that the children will love.
The vendor said herself she wondered if it was the right thing to sell it and will shed a tear when she leaves. But is this just a line?
Argh I don’t know I’m all over the place.

OP posts:
Zonder · 03/02/2022 07:07

It sounds lovely. What is the neighborhood like? What will you miss about your current area?

InisnaBro · 03/02/2022 07:10

Normal to feel this way, but deal with it yourself rather than messaging the vendor — it’s not her job to allay your concerns.

tocas · 03/02/2022 07:11

Hi OP
So you need more space but can't afford the space you need in the location you want. Is there an area more preferable to the one you're moving to where you could afford the space you need?

Marshmelllo · 03/02/2022 07:12

OP the house sounds great but it's the area that bothers you.

Go and drive round there today if you can. Look for the positives.

I think it's the distance as well that bothers you.

Just re-analyse it all. Presumably you couldn't find what you wanted closer?

JudyGemstone · 03/02/2022 07:12

Buying a house is a business decision as much as an emotional one if not more.

Feelings aren’t the most important thing. Plus if you hate it you can move again down the line, life is fluid and nothing is set in stone.

QforCucumber · 03/02/2022 07:16

@chukwe

I wouldn't advice anyone to move from a 2 bed to 3 bed as it's a waste of time and resources as the footprint of both are the same

Instead try and move to a 4 bed not a 3 bed and loft. It'll make a huge difference

How odd a comment to make?! Our 2 bed rental was 510 sq ft, the 3 bed we bought was 890sq ft. That’s a big difference in living space and footprint
Original poster
shoopashoop · 03/02/2022 07:18

I am going to drive there today. I have another school to look at which is one of our choices. It is near a park too so I am going to walk around there.
I just feel sick at even the thought of not going through with it. I don’t feel like that is an option. There is other areas we could consider but there isn’t much coming on the market (I still check every day). I am worried about feeling isolated from everyone. It doesn’t help that my dd is getting upset over moving too so I am trying to be excited for her but I’m finding that really hard.

You’re right - I won’t message her. She messages quite often to say ‘we are leaving you this and that..’ but I hope I don’t hear from her today as I just need to think.

I’m EBF so not sure if it’s tiredness that is affecting my judgement.

Has anyone had these feelings of ‘this isn’t right’ when driving past their new house - but ended up loving it??

OP posts:
Tinkerbellflowers · 03/02/2022 07:23

If it's the area you don't like, then you can't change that. Go with your gut. If you're not sure, then you really shouldn't buy it. Moving house is very expensive.

DePfeffoff · 03/02/2022 07:24

So far as feeling isolated is concerned, with your daughter in school nearby you'll soon get to know new people - and a 17 mile move from people in your current area is really nothing in travel terms.