School try to force to send child on school trip.

[Anyusername]

Hi.

I got a letter from my son's school with a permission slip.
I verbally told them I won't be allowing the school trip.
The reason is, I don't really agree with what it is.
It is an infant school and the trip is regarding 6-7 year olds supporting adults with terminally illnesses.
Firstly, I don't know these patients. They are strangers to me.
Secondly, as a parent I feel like I don't want him around this, this charity is suitable for an adult to conduct not a child.
When I expressed my concerns I was told my son would get an absent mark if I refuse to send him on the trip.
I have decided rather than risk an unauthorized absence, just de register my child and home school him for the last 3 weeks of term, since he will be going to junior school next term anyway.
I feel like my relationship with the school is beyond repair now.
I was unhappy with them this week because they allowed coaches to park on the double yellow zigzags outside the school which caused us to get in a big traffic jam on in sweltering heat earlier in the week.
We were basically melting in the car because of that, when I told them this was illegal parking they seemed very unsympathetic and just got the "where are they meant to park then"?...
There is a bad atmosphere between me and the staff now and I don't think it can be resolved.
When I called the Police, they told me if anybody parks on those again to inform them immediately. Then a staff at the school tried to tell me coaches have a leeway, even after I informed them I'd already confirmed the law with non emergency police operators they argued back with some highway code stuff and what their supervisor said some years ago...
Back to the school trip, I could avoid unauthorized by pulling sicky, but I don't see why I should need to do that. The school should not be able to put unathorized absence because I don't authorize a trip for my small child to be around terminally ill strangers.
Thoughts?

School children should not have contact with any adult who is not fully DBS checked

What total rubbish. You cannot get DBS checks on random adults just because they are going to be in contact with school children. Those supervising should have DBS checks. Others the children may come into contact with during the visit cannot be DBS checked by the school.

it's illegal even for school busses

Depends on the signs. If there are no signs it is technically legal to park on zigzag lines outside a school at any time. If there are signs they set out the restrictions.

It's not work experience at Dignitas ffs.

Brilliant.

You sound such hard work

OP

Tell the school you do not give permission for your child to go on this trip and that you will send him in as usual and expect them to accommodate him in a different way (be this another class or with a single TA) If the school feels unable to do this please let you know and you will keep him home. However if you are forced to keep him home you expect it as a authorised absence as it is the school who is unable to accommodate him not you making the choice to not send him.

That should solve your issue..
Do not take him out for the last 3 weeks it would not be in his best interest.
I get why you find the bus thing annoying however I would have just sucked it up personally.
I don't agree with your assessment of the danger of the outing however I do agree you should be able to say " no I do not give permission for this " and be heard.

It's not work experience at Dignitas ffs.

You have every right to refuse permission for your child to leave school during the school day. The school HAS to make alternative arrangements. In our school this would usually mean the child going into another year group so it may be a bit boring but keeping the child away from school WOULD be an unauthorised absence.

However, all school trips are rigorously risk assessed so unless the you (OP) are about to reveal that the trip is for the children to change the dressings on an Ebola ward then YABU.

Just seen I saw this on the BBC and thought you should seenChildren invited to befriend terminally ill hospice patients - www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-23341586 this

YABVU
Trip sounds like a very positive experience.

As for the coaches, it seems your main objection is having to oark a bit further away. So the choice is parents like you get to park closer and drop their darlings off or the coach has to park further away and at least 30 kids have to walk further. Presumably they aren't as important because they're not your darling.

Please don't home school. Sounds like your child desperately needs a bit of normal in life.

At the school I work at one of the parents threatened to call the police over coaches loading/ unloading primary school children. Now the children have to walk along a narrow pavement walk to or from the coach. It's the most nerve racking bit of the trip. Who knew there was more than one parent like that?

Op, have you actually spoken to the class teacher about what they're doing? It might help clarify things. You sound disproportionately wound up by this. Have you other stuff going on?

Most primary schools that visit nursing/care homes do so to sing songs to the residents, play bingo with them and have afternoon tea. Usually the residents and kids love it.

One day's UA is not big deal if you really want to deprive your child of habing a day out with his friends. To de-register for the last 3 weeks to avoid one day UA is plain daft!

Did you ask your son what he wanted to do?

I think your being unreasonable, I'm sure the school feel this trip would be at a benefit somehow.

Ummm. Massive overreaction is seems to me both on buses and school trips.

However, if you don't want your son to go on the trip that is up to you and I believe the school must make alternative provision. They shouldn't 'force' you.

Surely the rational thing to do is to have a conversation with the right person and check this - not to deregister. Perhaps the person you spoke to was ill informed.

I feel sad for your ds, who is now missing the last three weeks of term with his friends, for no reason, but I imagine the school are delighted that you are leaving. You sound a delight.

letter said there would be games and wildlife etc... but it also says "support other members of the community and those less fortunate than ourselves" It's ambiguous as it doesn't say what that support is

Did it not occur to you to ask what they would be doing ?

Regardless, he it doesn't sound good for a child really

Seriously ?? You are actually saying "support (ing) other members of the community and those less fortunate than ourselves" is not 'god for a child'

I'm so flabbergasted I just don't know where to begin with that.....

The coach thing - just wow. When there is a school trip, it is accepted by one and all that they get the door to the coaches as close to school entrance as they can so any traffic risk to all children is minimised. Of course if parents weren't parked all down the road, then they probably wouldn't have needed to use the double yellows for 5 mins to load / unload.
I can't believe you would waste police time with that.

then - if you seriously believed the school would be taking them anywhere inappropriate (which I would put very good money on, that they aren't), then why wouldn't you just keep him off for one day ? . I can't see what you are hoping to gain by making the poor chap miss 3 weeks of school

Oh come on op your child won’t be assisting with personal pastoral care! Probably read and have a glass of juice and a biscuit together while they enjoy playing in a park or a garden.
Your sound like a nightmare.
Just send your child or if your so adverse to your child meeting people that you haven’t personally vetted then just keep them of for the day. Don’t pull them out of school for three weeks to “home school” them. Because quite frankly unless your a fully qualified teacher I highly highly doubt you are equipped with recourses or qualified to ensure your child is educated to the same level as it’s peers. Also the bus thing just makes you sound like a right jobs worth. Also have you considered your child might like to go ? And would miss out on lots of fun activity’s and shuffle up day etc.
Sort it out op.
Your being that parent.

As a pp pointed out, the last few weeks of term include transition events, like visiting the junior school they'll be going on to. It's important for your child that he can participate in these, so it really wouldn't be a good idea to take him out of school early. Plus there will be fun things he will be doing with his friends, and it seems mean to take him out to miss that, just because there's bad feeling between you and the school.

Betting now that op has gone, never to return

Do you also refuse permission for a visitor to come into school to meet your child, if you haven't personally met that visitor?
That is a daft reason to refuse your child permission to do an activity. If they go to look round a church/go to the zoo/go to the shops as a school outing they will also meet people you personally don't know.

When my DS was at primary school , they put on a concert at a hospice. Kids were absolutely fine with it - I have visited hospices myself and they really are not frightening/gloomy etc. In fact the ones I've been to are lovely, positive places. Having said that, you are totally within your rights to say no to a school trip but I would just ask if he can join another class for that day.

If you don't want your child to go on the visit, the school should be able to put him into another class for the day. The only difficulty would be if this visit is a whole school thing.

The child cannot go to a hospice because they will meet terminally ill strangers the OP does not know.

The child can go to a fire station and meet firemen who are also strangers the OP does not know because they are "trusted heroes".

This is wind-up, right?/