School try to force to send child on school trip.

[Anyusername]

Hi.

I got a letter from my son's school with a permission slip.
I verbally told them I won't be allowing the school trip.
The reason is, I don't really agree with what it is.
It is an infant school and the trip is regarding 6-7 year olds supporting adults with terminally illnesses.
Firstly, I don't know these patients. They are strangers to me.
Secondly, as a parent I feel like I don't want him around this, this charity is suitable for an adult to conduct not a child.
When I expressed my concerns I was told my son would get an absent mark if I refuse to send him on the trip.
I have decided rather than risk an unauthorized absence, just de register my child and home school him for the last 3 weeks of term, since he will be going to junior school next term anyway.
I feel like my relationship with the school is beyond repair now.
I was unhappy with them this week because they allowed coaches to park on the double yellow zigzags outside the school which caused us to get in a big traffic jam on in sweltering heat earlier in the week.
We were basically melting in the car because of that, when I told them this was illegal parking they seemed very unsympathetic and just got the "where are they meant to park then"?...
There is a bad atmosphere between me and the staff now and I don't think it can be resolved.
When I called the Police, they told me if anybody parks on those again to inform them immediately. Then a staff at the school tried to tell me coaches have a leeway, even after I informed them I'd already confirmed the law with non emergency police operators they argued back with some highway code stuff and what their supervisor said some years ago...
Back to the school trip, I could avoid unauthorized by pulling sicky, but I don't see why I should need to do that. The school should not be able to put unathorized absence because I don't authorize a trip for my small child to be around terminally ill strangers.
Thoughts?

How awful for them to be part of the community.

Did you not think a simple “excuse me, could you explain in more detail what this part of the day will entail” would be a good starting point?

Oh my - you are that parent

Is it too late to let your son enjoy the last 3 weeks of school?

Helping out might mean passing round sandwiches. Supporting might mean emotional support ie chatting or playing cards.

God forbid your child might have to mix with strangers 😱. You make it sound like he's going to be administering medicine and giving people bed baths.

Guarantee your child's new school will know you so well within the first few weeks as there's always "that" one mother.

Wildlife too? It sounds like a good trip!
And games?

OP, that really is an ambiguous letter. All trips my DC have had letters which have a full itinerary of exactly what the children are doing so I don't think you are being unreasonable for questioning the trip.

The rest however is pure madness. Sorry.

Are you sure they're even meeting any adults or just doing things to help out like some simple gardening?

@PattiStanger I've lost faith in his school this week and I just really don't want to send him there again. I feel like they speak down and force their agendas instead of listening to how I feel.

I know what you mean about aircon, in this weather, by the time I get any benifit from it I would have overheated. Perhaps my aircon needs an upgrade, but heat in UK is not normally a problem

Your six year old son is being taken to nurse terminally ill patients in a field surrounded by wildlife?

Sorry, but..... what?

You must have misunderstood somewhere.

And school coaches always stop outside, stop being ridiculous. And sort your air con out.

You’re ‘that’ parent and the teachers will feel sorry for your DS because of you.

They are 6/7, they won’t be supporting anyone other than probably chatting to some sick people. It’s cancer it’s not contagious you know.

My DD is 2.5, she goes with Nursery occasionally to the old people’s home. No I don’t know the old people but I know the Nursery staff will keep her safe.

Jesus wept!!
If i was a teacher at that school I would be cheering your departure.
Children often bring joy to older or ill people. Your attitude to them is harsh and unkind.
Your attitude to the coaches made me laugh so much I read it out to my friend. The comment was 'fuckin' loon!' I'm not going to say I disagreed with him

Where exactly are they going ? A care home ? I very much doubt it would be any sort of hospital or hospice. You're not being clear.

Ive heard of other schools visiting nursing homes to sing songs, handout sandwiches, show their art work and talk to the residents. Apparently it was a great success for everyone, children don’t judge like adults and are a lot more natural. The residents couldn’t stop talking about the children after the visit.

Most people you come across in life are strangers but that doesn’t mean your DC should miss the school trip.

I think find out a bit more about the trip. The public narrative around intergenerational visits seems to be all about how much the older people like it, not necessarily about what is most beneficial to children. I can think of all manner of trips that would be more suitable, educational and engaging for a group of Year 2 children. But find out more first...

If you want to withdraw him for the day, just take the unauthorised absence.

I feel like they speak down and force their agendas instead of listening to how I feel.

If you were reacting like a normal human being they probably would listen. Instead you jump in feet first call the police regarding the coaches off loading children near the school and deregister your child because you don't want him to visit 'strangers' on a supervised planned trip.

You obviously think you are a reasonable person but you are the problem and no matter what school he goes to you're always going to think they are forcing agendas and speaking down to you.

Bloody hell. I've heard it all now 🙄 the school will probably advise you to watch that the door doesn't hit you on the arse on the way out. Your poor kid.

It is ridiculous you thought your momentary discomfort was more important than children disembarking coaches and getting back into the school building safely.
It is ridiculous you phoned the police.
Also, this sentence, instead of listening to
How I feel is gery telling. Like you think the school should consult you alone on decisions.

Oh dear. YABU about the trip. I can't believe you are considering home schooling - that is ridiculous under the circumstances.

As for calling the police about the coaches?? Wtf? Honestly, I'm sorry but you sound dreadful.

Tbh op , I totally agree with you. At first anyway. Sort of.
The school trip would get my back up immediately, as firstly I think it's bizarre. I'd have to get a lot of information on it as I've never heard of that kind of trip for children of that age! But hey, depending on all the details, it may be good. If the class visited a zoo/museum/one of those bloody interactive things, they'd still be interacting with strangers.
I don't like the idea of them trying to force you though. Do you have to pay for it/make a donation?
I think the coaches thing is a bit pedantic though. Did you do it as a bit of retaliation ?

I suspect all they'll be doing is saying hello to the old dears at the day centre and then going to the park.

There was a really interesting documentary on last year about a nursery and nursing home working closely together and the benefits it could have for everyone.

Anyusername, Sorry, but I think you're a complete loon and your entire posting on this thread makes me sick.

Your child is so fucking precious that you won't allow him to lift the mood of some elderly people who are going through hell? Your need to get somewhere in your car is more pressing than a coach off-loading CHILDREN OUTSIDE A FUCKING SCHOOL?! The zigzag lines are to protect children, which presumably means those getting off the coach.
Fine. Take your child out of school for the rest of term. I strongly suspect that the entire staff will be cheering themselves hoarse.

You absolutely should de-register, the school will have had a lucky escape from any more dealings with you!

Youve repeatedly overreacted to things without understanding them.

Calling the police was ridiculous. Especially since your primary concern was your own discomfort not the safety of the children

Rather than ask the school to clarify exactly what your PFB will be doing, you seem to have assumed they’ll be nursing strangers (oh the horror at strangers) with awful diseases.

Rather than just accept an unauthorised absence which has absolutely no consequences, you’re yanking PFB our if school altogether, so they miss all the end of term fun with their friends

What did you intend to do for your PFB’s education after summer? Return to the school much to their disappointment if there’s spaces or find a new school who has spaces and more tolerance for batshit parents?

Op you do sound like hard work and the type of parent everyone collectively rolls their eyes at in the playground. I think YABU but it doesn't really matter now does it as your poor son is missing the last 3 weeks with his friends at primary.

He'll be playing chess, listening to stories and drawing with them etc, not cleaning their bums and helping them go to urinate. He won't catch anything otherwise the trip wouldn't be happening