School try to force to send child on school trip.

[Anyusername]

Hi.

I got a letter from my son's school with a permission slip.
I verbally told them I won't be allowing the school trip.
The reason is, I don't really agree with what it is.
It is an infant school and the trip is regarding 6-7 year olds supporting adults with terminally illnesses.
Firstly, I don't know these patients. They are strangers to me.
Secondly, as a parent I feel like I don't want him around this, this charity is suitable for an adult to conduct not a child.
When I expressed my concerns I was told my son would get an absent mark if I refuse to send him on the trip.
I have decided rather than risk an unauthorized absence, just de register my child and home school him for the last 3 weeks of term, since he will be going to junior school next term anyway.
I feel like my relationship with the school is beyond repair now.
I was unhappy with them this week because they allowed coaches to park on the double yellow zigzags outside the school which caused us to get in a big traffic jam on in sweltering heat earlier in the week.
We were basically melting in the car because of that, when I told them this was illegal parking they seemed very unsympathetic and just got the "where are they meant to park then"?...
There is a bad atmosphere between me and the staff now and I don't think it can be resolved.
When I called the Police, they told me if anybody parks on those again to inform them immediately. Then a staff at the school tried to tell me coaches have a leeway, even after I informed them I'd already confirmed the law with non emergency police operators they argued back with some highway code stuff and what their supervisor said some years ago...
Back to the school trip, I could avoid unauthorized by pulling sicky, but I don't see why I should need to do that. The school should not be able to put unathorized absence because I don't authorize a trip for my small child to be around terminally ill strangers.
Thoughts?

School trip sounds odd and very inappropriate. School children should not have contact with any adult who is not fully DBS checked. I wouldn't be happy with my DC visiting strangers who could be perverts or anything. Being terminally ill does not mean you are a decent person or safe for kids to be around.

The way the OP described it yes it sounds odd, I would love to know what it really is.

Schoolchildren should not have contact with shop workers, the ice cream man/woman, bus drivers, church congregations, public using buses, Tesco delivery drivers etc ad infinitum.

Rapists and perverts can be DBS checked.

OP

Stop drinking the kool ade

All a DBS check shows is somebody hasn’t been caught doing anything.

All a DBS check shows is somebody hasn’t been caught doing anything.

It also shows what someone HAS been court doing, that's all a check is, a check. The employer/organiser then has to decide what to do with the information.

If you tell the school and local authority you are home schooling they may well take you off the register for the junior school.

School children should not have contact with any adult who is not fully DBS checked

Children of school age, because that's all school children means, should not have contact with any adult that's not DBS checked you say? Oh ok are you DBS checked? Your partner? Your parents? Your siblings? Your child's friends parents? The bus driver? The supermarket worker? Errrrrrmmmmm

Sounds like the children are visiting an old people's home or hospice, something I did several times with brownies at a similar age.

I wouldn't worry OP, I imagine the school are celebrating the fact that you have left and they won't be seeing you again.

Your attitude is pathetic.

I doubt very much he’ll be ‘helping out’; more likely singing a few songs. The trusting fire fighters comment is daft - there may be a terminally ill retired fire-fighter....

Doesn't matter where the trip is, could be to a mosque or a theme park or a pub, it's about how the school is dealing with a child who is not going. The only two options seem to be the trip or an unorthorised absence. Can schools to that?

I would write a letter to the head, copying the governors, asking if this is the case, is it correct that there is no provision made at school for those children not going on the trip?

Don't talk about the suitability of the trip, that's not the point here and as this thread shows there is a wide range of strong opinions.

You really are the parent that gives the rest of us a bad name aren't You?

Your reasons about the trip are ridiculous but ultimately yes you should be able to refuse...your child your decision ( as pathetic as your reasoning is)

You are looking for drama and attention over the coaches and taking him out of school

Sadly you are technically in the right but have massively dealt with it badly

But hey excluding the impact on your child of your theatrics....yrs technically yanbu over the specific issues (excluding removing him from school)

calledyoulastnight I'm sorry your children found the hospice unsettling. My DN (then aged 4) was a regular visitor to a hospice last year as their mother was terminally ill. The hospice and staff did all they could possibly do to make it a welcoming environment- toys, relaxing rooms with tv/dvd, garden activities and sessions with a child centric social worker making memory projects.

Am not sure we have actually established this is a hospice visit though. Given the level of hyperbole in the OP, it's highly possible this is just a visit to a sheltered housing scheme (which often have an entry age of 55 plus) .....

I would have thought there would have been a third option - for your DC to go into another class for the day whilst the trip happens. I know the school my DC were at permitted this for some children who weren't going on trips, for whatever reason.

Had you not overreacted in such a dramatic manner you could have negotiated calmly with the school for an alternative solution. But you've backed yourself into an angry corner and pissed everyone off. Not the right way to go about things and certainly not grounds to home educate.

I think taking 6 or 7 yr old kids to a hospice, if this is what the trip is, is not appropriate. I would be tempted to say no. I have a child who would be quite upset by this because of other things that have gone on in his life recently.
School can't make it compulsory so they are BU. But withdrawing him from school is a massive over-reaction. Unless there is a massive history here and this is just the straw that broke the camel's back.

They are not going to tell the 6 year old’s the prognosis of every patient they see . It’s no different to carol singing at old people homes; the staple of every Brownie / Cub pack’s Christmas celebrations.
If any kids are upset by this, it’s due to what the idiot parents have put into their heads, not whatever they’ll actually experience.

Yabu
Why not go on the trip too and if you're uncomfortable you can take him home? I don't think it'll be a tour of a death ward! Kids need to understand that people get old.

The pre-school which my youngest went to had links with the care home over the road, which catered for both terminally ill people and elderly people with dementia. The kids would go in every couple of weeks, sing a few songs, and some of the residents who were able to do so would chat to them or read books. It's a huge part of being a "community".

OP seems to think her 6 year old will be providing nursing care to these people.

Total overreaction, as is hoiking said child out of school.

Errrr is he going to a craft session at a nursing home? I think it highly unlikely he would be going to a hospice at that age.

These people may be strangers, but they are human beings and being around kids is not going to cause them to have massive emotional breakdowns or be wired up to drip stands etc.

I'm guessing it's a local care home. Children going there is good for the people who are there and the children.

You are massively over reacting I'm afraid and need to sit down and calm down.

You say 'I don't know them, they're strangers'. This show a complete lack of empathy and actually sums up what is wrong with our society. Perhaps your child needs this trip, seeing as he unfortunately has you as a role model.
As for the coach thing - get a grip!

Just when you think you've seen it all................

De registering your child would, by the sounds of it, be doing the school a huge favour but at the same time be doing your child a massive disservice. You have a long way to go in the education system....frankly your attitude is appalling.

Snowysky20009 And you’re “that poster” who uses an outdated and ridiculous cliche to try and demean a stranger on the internet.

Dp is terminally ill. He and I would not want a load of CV children coming round to gawk at him.

Completely inappropriate and really really offensive.

I wouldn't allow my son to participate in that trip- from what you've said- because I can't see why terminally ill patients would want a bunch of kids having a day out out of it.
Don't deregister your DS, the last few weeks at school are incredibly significant to the children. Who cares about an UA anyway.

I say go ahead and keep your kid out for the last few weeks. Trust me, the school won't miss him, they'll be delighted they won't have to deal with his whiny asshat of a mother. It's a win for them, you won't score any points there.

OP you're being completely unreasonable about this and making yourself come across as a complete nightmare.

Are we all wrong? Are you prepared to admit you may have overreacted and reconsidered.

Life is stressful enough, with disagreements and upsets without creating them where they don't exist.