School try to force to send child on school trip.

[Anyusername]

Hi.

I got a letter from my son's school with a permission slip.
I verbally told them I won't be allowing the school trip.
The reason is, I don't really agree with what it is.
It is an infant school and the trip is regarding 6-7 year olds supporting adults with terminally illnesses.
Firstly, I don't know these patients. They are strangers to me.
Secondly, as a parent I feel like I don't want him around this, this charity is suitable for an adult to conduct not a child.
When I expressed my concerns I was told my son would get an absent mark if I refuse to send him on the trip.
I have decided rather than risk an unauthorized absence, just de register my child and home school him for the last 3 weeks of term, since he will be going to junior school next term anyway.
I feel like my relationship with the school is beyond repair now.
I was unhappy with them this week because they allowed coaches to park on the double yellow zigzags outside the school which caused us to get in a big traffic jam on in sweltering heat earlier in the week.
We were basically melting in the car because of that, when I told them this was illegal parking they seemed very unsympathetic and just got the "where are they meant to park then"?...
There is a bad atmosphere between me and the staff now and I don't think it can be resolved.
When I called the Police, they told me if anybody parks on those again to inform them immediately. Then a staff at the school tried to tell me coaches have a leeway, even after I informed them I'd already confirmed the law with non emergency police operators they argued back with some highway code stuff and what their supervisor said some years ago...
Back to the school trip, I could avoid unauthorized by pulling sicky, but I don't see why I should need to do that. The school should not be able to put unathorized absence because I don't authorize a trip for my small child to be around terminally ill strangers.
Thoughts?

You appear to have created an uproar about something you haven’t even understood.
The staff will probably heave a collective sigh of relief to see the back of you.

My DN attends a nursery that visit an old folks home weekly. A lot of the residents have dementia and others are nearing the end of their lives. The joy the children bring to them is incredible and the children get so much out of the visits too so I think you are being a bit precious not to let him go.
As for calling the police about the school bus because you were hot in your car, I really have no words.
As has already been mentioned, you really are that parent. I don't think the school will put up a fight to keep you there tbh

You sound totally unreasonable and over the top, both regarding the trip and everything else.

There is nothing untoward about coaches for school trips parking in the restricted area outside school. They usually did at our primary school. They are meant to drop the children of AT the school, not around the corner. At that point they also probably count as a school bus/school transport, which means they are permitted to park there whilst boarding or dropping off.

You sound determined to cause conflict where there is none.

6 year old’s will not be “helping out” or “supporting”. Get that out of your head for a start

Lets be honest here, you're not actually going to "home educate" him at all are you?

I would fill in the form and say you have changed your mind.

On the day it is not your fault that he is ill. Very unfortunate timing.

YANBU it's illegal to park on the zig zags, that's why they are there.
Not to mention very dangerous. It's even worse if it's a coach.
They did this outside one of my dc schools once, I didn't hesitate to report as it was a dangerous area anyway, with idiots driving round a lollypop person, a couple were injured, one died.

As for the trip, I agree not something children should be taken to, however they dress it up. what point have they given, I imagine they must have one otherwise like other schools they'd be going to the zoo or theme park.

Is the whole school going?

I cant understand why they can't put him in another class either.

So your child is the only one not going? In which case I would imagine your interpretation of the outing may be slightly wrong!

Why are them being strangers a problem? Would you let him go on a trip to a fire station considering all the fire fighters will be strangers or a farm? I assume the farm workers are strangers?

@SomeKnobend I did not grass up the coaches. I called the Police just to check on the law. I understand it is safer for children to be dropped off close to their school, but creating obstacles can cause vision to be less, cars can try to overtake the coach and it gets dangerous. When I was a child I was hit by a car overtaking a bus, they did not see me because bus blocking vision. There is also the problem if the road is blocked emergency vehicles can't pass through. It's not a case of being spiteful, it was so I can inform the school the problem it can create.

Called the police to check on the law ?? Couldn't you just have googled it ? Why are you wasting the police's time ?

You're depriving your child of the opportunity for what sounds like a very imaginative and educational trip. So what if you don't know the people they will be visiting? If you sent your child on a residential trip, did you know all the people organising and helping with that trip? Do you seriously imagine your child is going to be left on his own with these people?

YADBU.

There's no way 6 year old children will be "helping out" with very sick patients. Have they told you what the actual activities they will be doing are, and what the educational purpose is of the trip?

The school "trip" sounds very odd. Can you explain more please OP?

As for the coaches, every school I know parks coaches as close to the school as possible to ensure the safety of the children. You are definitely being that parent by complaining. Would you rather the children walk across roads with parents zooming around in their cars?

I think you have completely overreacted by taking your child out of school over one day of unauthorised absence. And surely your child could have spent the day in another year group rather than missing school completely.

@NerrSnerr when he went on a school trip to a farm, I volenteered to go also. I wouldn't have a problem with Firemen because they are well trusted heroes. I don't know these patients, who they are, what they do, what their sickness is etc... totally different.

I would certainly need to know more about the trip and what it entails and what the children will be told. Age 6 and 7 seems very young for this type of trip

The children will be supervised by teachers and assistants at all times. If there was any infection risk (for the residents or the children) then there's no way this trip would be going ahead.

FGS. You sound a real pain. The trip sounds a lovely idea.

Maybe it depends where you live but I'm pretty sure that when my DCs school asked the police if the yellow zigzags were legally enforceable they were told no and they've been unable to do anything more than keep asking parents not to park on them.

It would annoy me if it wasn't safe but I don't think I'd have done anymore, the reaction to getting an absence mark for not going on the trip is such an overreaction as to be laughable, do you always get things out of proportion?

To the poster who seemed surprised that your car doesn't have air con - mine doesn't is that so hard to believe?

It's a real shame that your child won't have his last three weeks at this school with the children he has been growing up with. Do you really want to deprive him of that?

Not sure I would like my six year old learning about this so soon...I am sure the school will be keen to keep things child friendly but even so little ears pick up on lots and lots of things you may not otherwise choose for them to know

@PrincessScarlet letter said there would be games and wildlife etc... but it also says "support other members of the community and those less fortunate than ourselves" It's ambiguous as it doesn't say what that support is. Regardless, he it doesn't sound good for a child really.

At our school if a coach has to park on the zig zags it’s because of the parents who insist on parking along the road even when told a coach is coming to leave it clear!

It depends what is meant by helping out.