School try to force to send child on school trip.

[Anyusername]

Hi.

I got a letter from my son's school with a permission slip.
I verbally told them I won't be allowing the school trip.
The reason is, I don't really agree with what it is.
It is an infant school and the trip is regarding 6-7 year olds supporting adults with terminally illnesses.
Firstly, I don't know these patients. They are strangers to me.
Secondly, as a parent I feel like I don't want him around this, this charity is suitable for an adult to conduct not a child.
When I expressed my concerns I was told my son would get an absent mark if I refuse to send him on the trip.
I have decided rather than risk an unauthorized absence, just de register my child and home school him for the last 3 weeks of term, since he will be going to junior school next term anyway.
I feel like my relationship with the school is beyond repair now.
I was unhappy with them this week because they allowed coaches to park on the double yellow zigzags outside the school which caused us to get in a big traffic jam on in sweltering heat earlier in the week.
We were basically melting in the car because of that, when I told them this was illegal parking they seemed very unsympathetic and just got the "where are they meant to park then"?...
There is a bad atmosphere between me and the staff now and I don't think it can be resolved.
When I called the Police, they told me if anybody parks on those again to inform them immediately. Then a staff at the school tried to tell me coaches have a leeway, even after I informed them I'd already confirmed the law with non emergency police operators they argued back with some highway code stuff and what their supervisor said some years ago...
Back to the school trip, I could avoid unauthorized by pulling sicky, but I don't see why I should need to do that. The school should not be able to put unathorized absence because I don't authorize a trip for my small child to be around terminally ill strangers.
Thoughts?

Have a I haven't given one out in a while...

Are we all wrong? Are you prepared to admit you may have overreacted and reconsidered

Yes you are all wrong. I find this trip distasteful and offensive and anyone who thinks a terminally ill person wants your little darlings parading past their bed rubber necking needs to actually think what they want if they were in that position.

I can't believe anyone with an iota of sensitivity would think this trip was a good idea

The deterioration of my father’s health when I was that age gave me nightmares for years. Still haunts me. This trip is not a good idea.

Presumably anyone from the hospice/care home they are visiting will consent to be part of it too! Plenty of people would and do enjoy such visits, those who don’t want to join in won’t be under any pressure to do so

*Brunsdon1

You really are the parent that gives the rest of us a bad name aren't You?*

You really are the poster that gives Mumsnet a bad name aren’t you?

Do you really think that teachers are so narrow minded that one person can colour their entire world view. You are obviously projecting. YOU may do that, others don’t.

Please don’t homeschool your child.

I imagine its a hospice & very gentle way of introducing that the end of life can have quality & isn't scary. A few generations ago children would have seen death as a way/part of life. Keeping this hidden from children & acting as 'tho death cant touch them or those they love is a disservice to the child & when someone close to them falls seriously ill or dies it will make it all the harder and more frightening. We segregate death in the same way we are returning to segregate disability. Forgetting that eventually we all at some time have to face both issues (albeit temporarily in the case of disability)- wanting to protect your children is understandable but if you had concerns I would have asked for more information to understand how it would be done & what their aim was.

OP, it doesn't matter why you have chosen to not send your child on the trip, its irrelevant, the school should provide alternative arrangements. It doesn't matter what lots on this thread say about you being wrong, they don't know your child or the details of the trip. You do.

Seriously, where does it actually say they’re visiting terminally ill people? Less fortunate doesn’t mean terminally ill, obviously, and kids learning empathy is bloody important (for some more than others, clearly).

TammySwansonTwo I suggest you read the opening post lol!

No I mean, when OP explained what it said in the letter, it didn’t actually state that it was people with terminal illness - I’m wondering if it actually said that at all or if she’s inferred it

YABU and ridiculous. What on earth does it matter whether you know the patients or not?! Your child will be under the supervision of teachers, not dumped on a load of unfamiliar people. Do you usually forbid your child to come into contact with any strangers? Fgs.

Ha - this is my absolute favourite sort of aibu!

OP- AIBU
Everyone - yes!
OP - no I'm not

Lol

Not everyone said yes iknow. Read the thread.

the reluctance for the trip i could somehow get my head around.
Deregistering a child to avoid a non authorised absence is..OTT but I'd kinda see some kind of reasoning behind it.
Calling the police to report the school for letting coaches park safely and children arrive safely to school? That's just bonkers!

Seriously, where does it actually say they’re visiting terminally ill people? Less fortunate doesn’t mean terminally ill

Thats even worse. The "Less fortunate/terminally ill" being used as some sort of side show.

Dp is in that position and it makes me feel sick that schools think he is some project to show death isn't scary.

Look children here is a man. He is dying he won't be around for very much longer. Have a good look.

It makes me physically sick at the thought that a hospice is being used as some sort of exhibition.

Has the op been back to confirm what the trip actually entails ?

Anasnake Why should they? They wrote it in the op clearly!

What a ridiculous school trip. The last thing I’d want if I was terminally ill is a field trip of snotty nosed 7year olds coming to gawp.

How incredibly insensitive.

I'd be very interested in the OP taking a photo of the letter (with identifying stuff removed) and putting it on here so we can really see what it says .....

School children should not have contact with any adult who is not fully DBS checked.

I’m guessing you are against parent helpers on trips or parents coming in to read with children then.
What if you were the parent helper? Would that be ok?

They wrote it in the op clearly!

No she didn’t. Later she states that the trip involves ‘people less fortunate that ourselves’. Is she insinuating that this means terminally ill people or does the letter actually say terminally ill people.

As I said, we don’t actually know that this trip involves terminally ill people (or even ill people) at all. The OP said it was supporting adults with terminal illness, and when pressed further she said the letter was “vague”, there was something to do with wildlife and “supporting those who are less fortunate than ourselves”

Now it’s very possible it mentioned this and terminal illness, but seems far more likely to me that OP has inferred this and actually it’s just a trip to a nursing home. Who’s talking about using people as sideshows FFS?

SimonBridges it’s just a turn of phrase. They are less fortunate, they are dying. Just because you have interpreted it as something else to have a go doesn’t mean that the phrase “adults with terminally illnesses“ means anything except they are dying.

She DID write it in the OL clearly.