School try to force to send child on school trip.

[Anyusername]

Hi.

I got a letter from my son's school with a permission slip.
I verbally told them I won't be allowing the school trip.
The reason is, I don't really agree with what it is.
It is an infant school and the trip is regarding 6-7 year olds supporting adults with terminally illnesses.
Firstly, I don't know these patients. They are strangers to me.
Secondly, as a parent I feel like I don't want him around this, this charity is suitable for an adult to conduct not a child.
When I expressed my concerns I was told my son would get an absent mark if I refuse to send him on the trip.
I have decided rather than risk an unauthorized absence, just de register my child and home school him for the last 3 weeks of term, since he will be going to junior school next term anyway.
I feel like my relationship with the school is beyond repair now.
I was unhappy with them this week because they allowed coaches to park on the double yellow zigzags outside the school which caused us to get in a big traffic jam on in sweltering heat earlier in the week.
We were basically melting in the car because of that, when I told them this was illegal parking they seemed very unsympathetic and just got the "where are they meant to park then"?...
There is a bad atmosphere between me and the staff now and I don't think it can be resolved.
When I called the Police, they told me if anybody parks on those again to inform them immediately. Then a staff at the school tried to tell me coaches have a leeway, even after I informed them I'd already confirmed the law with non emergency police operators they argued back with some highway code stuff and what their supervisor said some years ago...
Back to the school trip, I could avoid unauthorized by pulling sicky, but I don't see why I should need to do that. The school should not be able to put unathorized absence because I don't authorize a trip for my small child to be around terminally ill strangers.
Thoughts?

I feel sorry for OP as she seems genuinely upset by it.

My dad used to be a fireman. I'm still laughing at the well trusted hero remark.

If you deregister, won't your child lose their place at junior school? I hope you have fewer battles at his next school. I like a bit of a rail against authority now and again but you really take the biscuit.

Where are you getting that it is terminally ill people being talked about? Is it the line support other members of the community and those less fortunate than ourselves. I think you might be reading a lot into that line.

If you don’t want him to go, for whatever reason, then don’t sign the permission slip and send him anyway. He can go to another class for the day.

Really? please do homeschool. I cannot understand how you are objecting to your kid brightening the last few days of a terminally ills person life. Are you scared of your child realizing that death does exist? I can guarantee you that the school has risk assessed every possible outcome of this trip. I feel sorry for you and your child losing out on an opportunity to learn about other people less fortunate than yourselves.

When I was in primary school, they used to walk us up the road one afternoon per week to the aged care home. They called it 'adopt a grandparent'. We would take up drawings, play board games, sing songs. It was bloody lovely, especially for the children who didn't have grandparents in their lives. My 'grandparent' was Elsie and she was lovely. She'd have one of the nurses buy a bag of chocolate drops each week and we'd eat them together.

I don't know about schools in the UK, but over here, we have to actually show how we are engaging with the community. This gives me inspiration actually, I'm going to see about getting my class to the local aged care facility next term.

School trip sounds odd and very inappropriate. School children should not have contact with any adult who is not fully DBS checked. I wouldn't be happy with my DC visiting strangers who could be perverts or anything. Being terminally ill does not mean you are a decent person or safe for kids to be around.

Ffs!

OP, have you considered training to be a teacher so you can make sure that such inappropriate school trips and illegal parking don't happen?

jeez cana - how do you actually live? Do you ask the bus driver to present their DBS check, the check out person at Sainsbury's, the wait staff at a restaurant or cafe you frequent?

Or do you imagine that the school staff at OP's school are just dropping the children off at "Hannibal Lecter's Home for All" with a cheery - 'have fun kids, we'll see most of you later..."

CanaBanana That is bollocks! They can in real life and they can on a school trip provided there is also the correct ratio of DBS checked adults around and they are never left alone with a non-DBS checked person.
Besides, having one only proves you haven't been caught, not that you are not 'that way inclined'.

CanaBanana I assume you either never leave your DC with a non-dbs checked friend or family member or never go anywhere without them? Most abuse is by people the children know.

Oh dear op- unfortunately if the relationship has broken down between you and school- it sounds like your doing really

But it is fixable- please don’t homeschool or take your child out of school just because you’re cross!! That’s totally unfair on your child and their needs trump yours...

-6 year old children are not going to be going anyway near anything contagious! They wil not be in any danger

• they will not be going there to discuss terminal illness and death- they won’t be administering drugs or anything like that...

• you’ve missed the point of the trip! If the letter says to help others less fortunate and you think that’s inappropriate for young children that’s a real shame...they might say hello/ do a small craft activity with adults who have chosen to take part- nothing more

Next time you have a concern (which is fine) just ask the school reasonably, they would have explained the itinerary of the day

• coaches park right next to schools for the safety of the children! Walking 30 children across the pavement near a road should be as short a distance as possible! Do you really want them to walk 100m down the road just to avoid a temporary build up of traffic?

Your child is going to be in school for the next 10 years; you need to think about what you can do to work alongside schools rather than make lids difficult for yourself and your child.

Just start afresh op in September x

Sorry- make life difficult I mean

@CanaBanana so all your friends and family are DBS checked? The parents of your child's classmates and friends?

During their school life children will visit a lot of places as a reward or part of the curriculum where they will interact with people that are not DBS checked. Either staff or just the general public...seaside,theme parks,churches,temples,museums etc.

My children’s grandparents were in a hospice and they found the place very upsetting. There is a specific feel to a hospice that 6 year olds don’t need to see. Having been in such a place before would not have helped my children come to terms with death any quicker.

So YANBU

But just keep him home for the day. It’s not a big deal!

CanaBanana, have you ever given permission for your child to go on a trip to a zoo, museum or stately home? If so, I have to break it to you that not every keeper, warder or member of the restaurant staff was DBS checked, let alone all the other adults who were visiting at the same time.

Is anyone else guiltily hoping someone from the staff of this school is reading this?

Good grief you sound awful.

You haven't exactly given many details about the trip. Have you just made assumptions it's a guided tour of a morgue?

Imagine being that I'll adult and everyone treating you like you are nothing but some kind of house of horrors no one should be anywhere near.

They are people they have lives they have stories to tell . I doubt they are going to be holding their hands while they take their last breath and shadowing the coroner.
.

How about you just rather than call the police

Oh and by the way it's Fire fighters. Not firemen.

giles care home/old folks home - fine.

Hospice for terminally ill- not fine. Definitely not.

If you deregister for Home school you could loose your junior place.

As for the trip, I think you're overreacting. Unless you've shielded your child from the world for 7 years then I don't know how this could be a bad experience. It's about learning to have compassion for those less fortunate or going through a tough time.

YABU for calling the police. What a time waster and ludicrous overeaction to having to sit in a traffic jam. Your kid your choice on the trip front I guess.

Just to counter some of the views on this thread, when I was at primary school we learned some music hall songs (Down at the Old Bull and Bush etc) and performed them at the local old people’s home. My clear memory is chatting to an older man who put his hand on mine (a friendly gesture no doubt) and feeling trapped and not knowing how I could get away (to get to the orange squash on the other side of the room). I don’t think I was psychologically damaged (!) but I remember it very clearly 35 years later.

I think the school should have alternative arrangements for children who don’t go on trips. It’s not unheard of for parents to refuse permission for trips is it?

I think you should ask for more information before deciding. But you know your child best.

I don’t know exactly how the roads are laid out but coaches used for school trips park on the zig zags outside my child’s school and I would never query it. It’s the safest way to get the children in / out. We walk to school and in my experience there’s much more danger from the (many) parents who drive and park inconsiderately. In most cases they could walk to schoo (as the head teacher regularly points out in newsletters).

You seem very hung up on the fact they are strangers, you do no a stranger is just someone you haven't met yet? It doesn't automatically make them something to be scared of. It sounds very similar to a trip to play bingo etc at the old folks home and serve them biscuits etc. Good for the kids and good for the patients. They are not going to stick them in a room with someone while they take their last breaths! If you are that concerned ask to see the risk assessment for the trip, ask for more info, just keep him at home if you have to but deregister your child over the trip is just rediculous!

'I wouldn't have a problem with Firemen because they are well trusted heroes.'

I'm sorry but this made me chuckle

Sounds like you haven't a clue what this trip entails I'd spend some time finding out and less time phoning the police re parking issues