School try to force to send child on school trip.

[Anyusername]

Hi.

I got a letter from my son's school with a permission slip.
I verbally told them I won't be allowing the school trip.
The reason is, I don't really agree with what it is.
It is an infant school and the trip is regarding 6-7 year olds supporting adults with terminally illnesses.
Firstly, I don't know these patients. They are strangers to me.
Secondly, as a parent I feel like I don't want him around this, this charity is suitable for an adult to conduct not a child.
When I expressed my concerns I was told my son would get an absent mark if I refuse to send him on the trip.
I have decided rather than risk an unauthorized absence, just de register my child and home school him for the last 3 weeks of term, since he will be going to junior school next term anyway.
I feel like my relationship with the school is beyond repair now.
I was unhappy with them this week because they allowed coaches to park on the double yellow zigzags outside the school which caused us to get in a big traffic jam on in sweltering heat earlier in the week.
We were basically melting in the car because of that, when I told them this was illegal parking they seemed very unsympathetic and just got the "where are they meant to park then"?...
There is a bad atmosphere between me and the staff now and I don't think it can be resolved.
When I called the Police, they told me if anybody parks on those again to inform them immediately. Then a staff at the school tried to tell me coaches have a leeway, even after I informed them I'd already confirmed the law with non emergency police operators they argued back with some highway code stuff and what their supervisor said some years ago...
Back to the school trip, I could avoid unauthorized by pulling sicky, but I don't see why I should need to do that. The school should not be able to put unathorized absence because I don't authorize a trip for my small child to be around terminally ill strangers.
Thoughts?

I would bet my bottom dollar that it's something like planting wildflowers in the garden of a nursing home rather than traipsing through a hospice gawping at people who are terminally ill.

There’s no way they’re going to a hospice. People who are dying don’t need a gaggle of kids crowding them & no hospice would allow it.

Probably a nursing home. It’ll be craft in the lounge or something.

Total over reaction OP.

Precisely Polkerris.

Of course OP could transcribe/post a photo to the letter on here, which would help us understand if she is being reasonable or not. But I don't see her doing so, really...

School trip sounds odd and very inappropriate. School children should not have contact with any adult who is not fully DBS checked. I wouldn't be happy with my DC visiting strangers who could be perverts or anything.

The school has to make alternative arrangements for your son if you decline permission for the trip.

But tbh so what if you get an unauthorised abscence? NOTHING will happen.

Re the trip. I am sure you'e got the wrong end of the stick, there is no way they are traipsing an infant class round a hospice. Likely it's a shared activity session at a care home. I did that in primary school 30 odd years ago, we went every week.

Don't see what the parking has to do with anything or why that is a reason to deregister.

Does your little boy want to be taken out of school? What is best for him in this situation?

School children should not have contact with any adult who is not fully DBS checked.

I’ve had 3 DC and I can’t recall being asked once if I or DH has been fully DBS checked.
I assume from this that parents aren’t required to have a full DBS check before being allowed contact with their school aged children.....

I didn't think ywbu at the start of your post, but I continued reading and think you are being a total drama queen about the school buses and I can't BELIEVE you phoned the police about it

Ah. Here's @qwertyuiopy appeared to stir things up as per usual....standard oppositional stance. 🙄

The point is you were threatened with UA.

Schools can threaten what they like and do - because most parents will cave.

Just sign the slip removing your permission and send him to school as usual. They can't refuse him and if they try mention "illegal exclusion" to them and refuse to leave without official exclusion paperwork.

But seriously try and do it calmly and reasonably because your confrontational attitude atm will not be helping.

@quertyuiopy ODFOD

Home educate him, and don't blame anyone but yourself when you raise a Norman Bates.
Or, in all seriousness speak to a GP about your excessive anxiety. I am an anxious parent and I'm not even in the same league as you. Do you have reasons for being so overprotective?

You do have choices here op. He's your child.
You could ask for more detailed info asking what the children will be doing. Then decide if you think your child should go.
You could refuse (it's your choice), and send him to school as normal that day.
You could volunteer to go along, our school are always asking for parent helpers. Then you could see exactly what's happening.
Or you could keep him home and call in sick. One unauthorised absence is nothing.

For what it's worth though I work in a care home. We have a local school who visit us throughout the year. The younger ones play card games and read books with some residents. The choir come and sing us songs. They put on a little play at Christmas and it was lovely.
The older children have recently been helping in our gardens. They planted flowers, made a bird table and have put up some lovely bunting.
The residents love it! We have a few residents who have no other visitors and look forward to seeing "their children", as they put it.
The children also enjoy it. They get to be away from school, having fun (and biscuits and juice) all while helping others.

As mentioned the children will not be looking after the people in the care Home. In our local school classes from nursery to year 6 take it in turns to go weekly to the local nursing home. Children love it and I t brings joy to the elderly there. They won’t be left alone and unsupervised without a member of school staff so you don’t need to worry about DBS. You are going completely OTT.

qwertyuiopy FOTFAFOSM!

The trip is not going to be visiting dying people in hospital beds. I’m sure the nature of the trip has been described in the letter

Don’t be “that Mum” - the one that causes a fuss over nothing (calling the police about school busses? Really OP?!) let your child go on the trip with thier peers. They may actually enjoy it.

support other members of the community and those less fortunate than ourselves

Why the fuck is that a bad thing? You sound like a right selfish cow.

School children should not have contact with any adult who is not fully DBS checked. I wouldn't be happy with my DC visiting strangers who could be perverts or anything. Being terminally ill does not mean you are a decent person or safe for kids to be around

Yeah, because terminally ill people are always keen to abuse children on a school trip.

Ffs. You are a twat.

Op, where is your proof that your dc’s trip is to see terminally ill people?

Give us proof.

I can’t imagine that. You sound like a nightmare.

This could still be a hospice. Hospice care isn't just for people who are in their last days. Many hospices have a "day hospice", which would be a great place for kids to go. There are activities, music, games, complementary therapies, tea and cake. The patients have a terminal diagnosis, but are reasonably well. It feels like a day centre, usually in a beautiful setting. Great place to go and sing a song, hand out some tea, do some relaxation exercises and a jigsaw, and talk about what it was like being 7 50/60/70/80/90 years ago. Or perhaps they will go and help in the gardens, or in the hospice shop or fundraising office. It is clearly not going to be traipsing around a ward full of people in their last days (infact in your average hospice only a few beds are usually taken up by people who are actively dying). After all the hospice movement is kind of good at looking after dying problem and being sensitive to their needs, and have masses of experience of talking to and supporting young people with the concept of dying. Most hospices will have specific staff trained in exactly that. So even if this is "worst case scenario" of a hospice visit, (which I have seen no evidence that it is!) I would be fine with my daughter going to visit. Infact, when I worked in a hospice, the consultants children were occasionally there if they were off sick from school! They got thoroughly spoilt.

‘Those less fortunate that us’ would never mean terminally ill to me but would mean people with learning difficulties.

WHy oh why are people trying to persuade the OP to behave rationally

WIll no one think of the school? By trying to persuade her to keep her child in school you are depriving innocent hardworking school staff of the opportunity of doing a little happy dance around the staff room and breaking open an early box of celebrations . In the words of the great philosopher, or possibly a character in an animated film.

LET HER. GO,!

OP, I stated at the beginning that I agreed with you about the trip and the busses as no matter how many drivers think it's ok, it's illegal even for school busses.
I've been a pedestrian and seen first hand the damage it can do, it's bloody dangerous for pedestrians, that's why the zig zags are there.

If you do decide to deregister, make sure your LA know you intend to re -register for next school or you could lose the place.
It does happen, so you'd need it in writing.

OP are social service aware of you?

It's not work experience at Dignitas ffs.