School try to force to send child on school trip.

[Anyusername]

Hi.

I got a letter from my son's school with a permission slip.
I verbally told them I won't be allowing the school trip.
The reason is, I don't really agree with what it is.
It is an infant school and the trip is regarding 6-7 year olds supporting adults with terminally illnesses.
Firstly, I don't know these patients. They are strangers to me.
Secondly, as a parent I feel like I don't want him around this, this charity is suitable for an adult to conduct not a child.
When I expressed my concerns I was told my son would get an absent mark if I refuse to send him on the trip.
I have decided rather than risk an unauthorized absence, just de register my child and home school him for the last 3 weeks of term, since he will be going to junior school next term anyway.
I feel like my relationship with the school is beyond repair now.
I was unhappy with them this week because they allowed coaches to park on the double yellow zigzags outside the school which caused us to get in a big traffic jam on in sweltering heat earlier in the week.
We were basically melting in the car because of that, when I told them this was illegal parking they seemed very unsympathetic and just got the "where are they meant to park then"?...
There is a bad atmosphere between me and the staff now and I don't think it can be resolved.
When I called the Police, they told me if anybody parks on those again to inform them immediately. Then a staff at the school tried to tell me coaches have a leeway, even after I informed them I'd already confirmed the law with non emergency police operators they argued back with some highway code stuff and what their supervisor said some years ago...
Back to the school trip, I could avoid unauthorized by pulling sicky, but I don't see why I should need to do that. The school should not be able to put unathorized absence because I don't authorize a trip for my small child to be around terminally ill strangers.
Thoughts?

From what you have posted, yes I do think you are being unreasonable. Would have to know more about the trip to be certain though.

About the buses I think you are being very unreasonable. But there you go.

School trip sounds totally inappropriate so YANBU not to let him go. However it's a bit drastic to take him out of school, could he not just go in to school but not on the trip? Sit with another year group? Coaches thing is annoying but there's possibly no alternative so I wouldn't get hung up on it.

Can you explain what the trip is exactly? It's not clear. I agree about the bus and the zigzags although I'd have just silently seethed and avoided the confrontation.

Agree that you need to better explain what the trip was and what they were planning to do. Although I really don't understand why you posted if you have already said he is not going and now you have deregistered him, it's not like they can do anything about it as he is no longer attending the school.

Don't they have to send him to another class if you don't give permission for the trip?

So because of your petty “fall out” you child has to miss the last few weeks with his peers!

If a compromise couldn’t be found for the trip why not just let them mark it however they wish! Makes no odds to your son!

What's the point of a permission slip, if no isn't an acceptable answer?

3 weeks home schooling seems rather drastic through.

What is the trip? I would just return the slip saying your child won’t be going on the trip and send him on the day.

Was the slip just for your son or given to everyone in the class?

ywnbu to say no to the school trip. Completely over the fucking top to take him out of school for 3 weeks about it though, do get a bloody grip. I can't believe you called the police about coaches outside a school either!

YANBU to not send him on the trip, but you have taken him out of school over it? So rather than get an absent mark he will miss all the transition stuff, 3 weeks of education, which is a big chunk to miss and all the fun stuff with his friends at the end of term! That seems a massive over reaction.

I agree with a pp that for the sake of 3 weeks, de registering seems extreme, and will be upsetting for your ds to explain to kids he's not coming back, and will likely miss fun end of school activities etc. I'd write a letter of concern/complaint in explaining and then look into a different school for the new year.

I wouldn't describe it as a school trip- it's definitely more of an educational outing.
I think schools generally are very good at doing things in an age appropriate manner, and dealing with the children very sensitively.
They would no doubt bring much joy to the seriously ill residents.
Do you think it's too shocking to introduce the ideas of illness or death to your child? Are you afraid that the school will not deal with it sensitively? I think handled well it could be a life- affirming occasion.
Children are aware of mortality age 7. A lot of children ask loads of questions about death at this age. Haven't you been asked "Mum will you die?" "Mum, will I die?" yet????This could help their understanding.

As to de registering, I think it is absolutely out of all proportion. If you really don't want a child to attend the outing, they should not be forced but I imagine they would have to be accommodated with a different year group for the day.

And the debacle with the school bus on the zigzags? I think the heat went to your head. I would much rather a coach load of children were offloaded safely, even if it meant parking on the zigzags for a short while. So can't believe you called the police. It's pretty outrageous!!!!!

Over reaction!!!!!!

You really are 'that parent' aren't you?

You sound like hard work.

Do you not have air con in your car.

What is the trip?

We're the coaches for a school trip?

Sorry OP but with the youth these days I feel it's important to teach children from a young age about the value of life and general compassion. What harm could it be for your child to witness a key aspect of the reality of life. Yes I suppose some may argue they are too young but isn't it then that minds are moulded. Stop protecting kids from life's lessons. Otherwise we will have another generation of selfish, self obsessed and spoilt kids. I took my DC 15, 9, 6, whilst on holiday to the poorest parts of the country where our friends housemaid lives, to show them how privileged they are with even the basics compared to what some people have to live with. As a result my kids wanted to sponsor an orphan who now we provide for, education and living expenses in the orphanage.
The strip will be supervised and I'm sure these terminally ill people will be grateful for the visit. Start thinking beyond the comfortable boundaries that protect you from the harsh realities of life!! It's never too young to learn!!

As for the coaches if it was for the school children then the safest place can be outside the school. So just for your convenience you would rather the kids risk walking a distance where crossing the roads would pose a danger to them.

I wouldn't have a problem with that trip, I very much doubt they will be introducing children to people on their deathbeds it is more likely they will be meeting people with a palliative diagnosis doing and doing some craft stuff with them.

Unloading small children safely from school buses can be a nightmare, I would like to think it was done as quickly as possible. Where would you rather they had offloaded the coaches, was there a safer place for the pupils to get on/off?

Coaches would need to be near the school for safety reasons.

Were the coaches for the school? Kids going/coming from a school trip? If yes YABVVVVU!! The school will want such things to be done as easy and as safe as possible.

As for the trip I'm not entirely sure...is it a one off? Why are they doing it? Is it link to something in the curriculum? Charity work? Your son can probably just spend the day in another class.

Why de register for 3 weeks? One unauthorised absence will mean nothing (unless he has been off a lot this term) so I don't understand what the risk is.

School trip to Dignitas?!

The trip is visiting terminally ill patients and helping out.
I don't want to sound like a killjoy, but I don't know them.. they're strangers.
My point is, I should be able to refuse it without being threatened with a UA.
It's the inflexibility that is hard to deal with, they should either offer to put him in another class or authorize an absence.

One day unauthorised absence will have no consequence whatsoever. Just keep him at home on that day but please don’t take him away from his friends in the last 3 weeks of school!