16 week abortion

[rockandhardplace123]

Posting here for traffic following my previous thread. Has anyone had an abortion at 16 weeks and not regretted it? And felt comfortable with their decision. I feel so helpless right now.

Apologies as I haven't read the full thread, but I have had a 16 week termination so felt I could contribute. I was a teenager at the time, so the whole thing was probably more difficult than it needed to be, but even so you do need to be prepared that it is a birthing experience. I was in labour for about 8 hours before I gave birth and as others have said, the sex was able to be determined so I knew I had lost a baby boy. I also had to have a scrape the following morning to ensure there was nothing left in my womb. Being so young I bounced back relatively quickly - although my body did take a while to adjust to not being pregnant.I have never regretted it, as it was the right decision for me. I would not have had the life I have had and enjoyed if I hadn't gone through with it, but I can't pretend it was easy. I wish you peace whatever you decide.

You said you love him. Let’s be clear this is not the actions of a loving relationship.

I think you need to label this relationship correctly.

Its domestic violence.

It approx. takes x7 times for most victims of domestic abuse to leave ie it’s extremely hard , it’s a trauma bond the dizzy highs and lowest lows it’s a form of control, the psychological bond from the emotional abuse.

Truth - I dont believe you’ll be able to leave without support and counselling.

On top of this you are pregnant and vulnerable. You need to prioritise your safety (your mental welfare).

Womens aid can help.

Honestly I wouldn't the vsby us a baby now tiny yes but a baby still not a collection of cells like at 4/6weeks and you will have to give birth to said tiny baby ok you won't get to see it but still
I would get rid of hubby and if your other kids older they can just help you around the house get everyone into a routine just now .but take care whatever you do

In most hospitals yes she would unfortunately

@coffeetart it's so funny you should say that, as I am apparently the domestic abuser.

Choices can offer a free session to talk through the options, and up to 24 sessions of low cost counselling whatever decision you make.

choicescharity.org/

@Feelinglost10 I completely agree with everything you are saying. I tried at 6 weeks, i couldn't. I'm absolutely broken. And I don't know what to do. I'm aware my baby is fully formed and I have formed an attachment to it. That is my predicament.

Why so late on though? I’m fully for pro choice but 16/18weeks is a full baby!

Honestly I wouldn’t do it. Nobody can tell you what to do, but if it’s your marriage that is stopping you then get rid of that man! Regardless now you can’t stay with him, imagine the guilt you will feel aborting your child and staying with him anyway? If you need to get rid of one thing make it him! If you genuinely cannot cope after you give birth I’d consider adoption for a family who can’t conceive. If you couldn’t go through with it at 6 weeks it will be a lot worse at 16! Fear and doubt are completely natural, your life is about to change! Of course it’s scary. But once it’s gone it’s gone and there’s no going back so you need to be completely sure and make it for a purpose, like if you do abort your baby you need to leave that man and completely start fresh!

I’m sorry I don’t know how to reply to a comment directly…

Of course he is saying you are the abuser.

Thats called manipulation and gas lighting it’s distorting your reality , causing confusion and your head / brain is like a fog. You can’t make any rational decision under these circumstances.

You will not be able to make a decision at present because you’re not mentally fit to do so.

I hope you are having zero contact with him at the present and he’s out of sight for your own sanity.

If you stay with him you are in big trouble believe me.

Not the same circumstances as you, but I had a terrible accident when I was 13 weeks pregnant and had been booked in for a termination that week. Even at that stage I felt it was too late but I didn’t realise I was pregnant. Anyway, by the time I was out of intensive care and more aware of what was going on, I was 16 weeks. I discussed with them the options, and as I had been on so much medication they took me for a scan to check that the baby was actually ok. At that scan, 16 weeks and 3 days, they could tell she was a girl and in perfect condition. Having seen her, still healthy after all I had been through, I could not have terminated. So my advice would be, if you do terminate, ask them to turn the monitors away if they scan you beforehand.

@rockandhardplace123 you have now said several times here that you don’t want to have an abortion. I think you need some real life support to walk away from your marriage and have this baby alone- as you’re alone already anyway… what about a Freedom course or similar? But I think definitely some counselling to support you in this and become stronger to be a single mum to your children- whether that remain at 3 or become 4.

Deleted my post as I didnt RTWT. Apologies.

Look up NHS pregnancy 16 weeks. You are quite far along. You will have to give birth.
Please get some professional advice and support.
Take care.

If you’re on tik tok ‘the chatty abortion midwife’ has loads of information about terminations at different stages, surgical vs medical etc, about the process, recovery etc. you’re getting a lot of conflicting information on this thread which must be confusing. Wishing you all the best either way op 💛

If you tried to get an abortion at 6 weeks and couldn't do it when it was a ball of cells do you really think you can do it at 16 weeks when it will be a formed baby albeit tiny? I lost a baby at 15 weeks. It wasn't planned and I was 41. My other DC were 20, 18 and 11. I didn't even realise until I was 12-3 weeks and I was shocked and didn't want it. Then I miscarried whilst I was trying to decide what to do. I thought that should have been a relief, but it turned out it wasn't. After I miscarried I was hormonal and had little cries for weeks. I felt guilty because I had been considering an abortion. I do know it would have been tough to cope with a new baby and I'd have to have taken time off from work. My life has turned out well so probably it was for the best. Once my hormones settled which took about 6 weeks, I did realise that. Good luck with your decision. I know it's a hard one to make.

OP, it’s pretty clear that you don’t want to have an abortion, and I think you’re tormenting yourself by trying to talk yourself into something against your conscience.

This. I think the focus needs to be on what you could most easily live with. Im Sorry you are in this situation.

Yes I agree with this. Reading this thread and your other one you clearly don’t want to have one. It’s your husband that’s the issue. I really hope you can get help and leave him and keep the baby. I don’t think, by going by what you’ve written, you will be able to cope with the abortion.
do you have any close friends or real life support you can talk to? Perhaps some counselling?

OP, I think you actually know what the answer is but you're trying to persuade yourself to make a more practical choice.

You couldn't go through with a termination at 7 weeks. You say you feel attached to the baby now and that you feel "broken" at the idea of a termination. You're also 40 so this might be the last pregnancy.

You say you could cope emotionally, practically, and just about financially too.

Honestly, I don't really think this is even a question. If you wanted to have a late-stage termination, I wouldn't be trying to encourage you otherwise. Your body, your choice. But there's nothing here that suggests you want a termination and I worry that you'd really struggle to come to terms with your decision afterwards.

I went for a termination at 8 weeks and couldn't go through with it. That was 15 years ago and I now have two beautiful teenagers (it was twins). I was a single parent and a potential carrier of a genetic condition, so I know just how bloody hard it is trying to figure out what to do.

The advice a PP gave you is really good, and it's how I reached my decision. Close your eyes and imagine six months time - firstly with a newborn, and then with no baby. How does each situation make you feel? I found I had an instinctive gut reaction - and it made me realise that deep inside, I'd already made my decision.

In your situation I had the babies and have never regretted it. From what you've written it feels as if that might be the same for you? It's a hard situation and there's no judgement whatever you decide 💐

That’s not pro choice…

It is pro choice. I stand on what I said with full chest.. once it’s a baby no I don’t agree. If you want to abort then do it early or soon as you know. That’s like saying once it’s born if you don’t want it then just let it die because you should have a choice? In or out the womb once it becomes a baby there should be a limit.

You really do need to make a decision as they are developing rapidly at this stage.
I would call a clinic today and get some counselling asap because you can’t keep leaving it. They will be moving any day if you can’t already feel them.