16 week abortion

[rockandhardplace123]

Posting here for traffic following my previous thread. Has anyone had an abortion at 16 weeks and not regretted it? And felt comfortable with their decision. I feel so helpless right now.

Me, around 25 years ago.

I've never regretted it. It was absolutely the right thing to do.

I hope you're OK OP.

💐

@WhatAPrettyHouse can I ask did it affect you more as you were further along? Did you ever feel guilty? I know i need to think aswell about my current three children and myself.

It was a surgical procedure she went private that cost abit but its what she wanted.

I didn't think about that at all tbh, I was just desperate for it to be all over.

You are right to focus on yourself and your 3 children.

He’s had 16 weeks to make things right. Has he tried? Or is it same old problems over and over? I think he’s had time and a chance to prove that this can work but it doesn’t look like he has.

Have you had a scan/spoken to a midwife? They might be able to point you in helpful directions too.

Nobody can tell you the 'right' thing to do and I think whatever you end up doing it'll be easy to look back and wish you'd done the opposite. Babies can bring a lot of joy and I'm sure if you had the child it would bring you happiness, but you have sensible reasoning for not going ahead too. I think ultimately it comes down to do you want it, when you take your husband out of the equation, and are you prepared to do it alone? You do need to consider your other children but another sibling has positives too. If you have the abortion then bare in mind it's not like a reset button - which option can you live with more happily, having the abortion or having the baby? How do you see yourself in 5, 10, 20 years living with either decision?

If you go ahead, I'd recommend maybe writing yourself a letter explaining your reasons, and commit to those reasons. Then if ever you look back and waver on the path you chose, you can read it back to remind yourself.

Trust yourself. Whatever you choose then I believe you will be strong enough to get through it.

really sorry you’re going through this, it must be so difficult. If you’re prepared to go through with it, are you prepared to end the marriage? because having an abortion so late, due to you’re husband being is a twat, should really be game over for the relationship.

I’ve PMd you OP

@ByDreamyMintNewt thankyou so much. I love your reasoned response and it's the way I too have thought about things. I know i said I would regret either decision, but I also know that I'm never going to regret not having an abortion as I will be filled with love as soon as he/she is born. I just worry, that I lf I do go through with it it's for selfish reasons and aware that this will be my last chance of a child, even though I thought my last was my last.

@whatnoooow I don't think i could continue this marriage and I don't think he could either.

As long as you know that there's no saving this marriage, it's a start.

You just need to weigh up your options about the baby.

As silly as it sounds, maybe a pro's and cons list might give you some clarity.. I know it helps me instead of having a mountain of jumbled thoughts in my head.

I hope you make the right decision for yourself x

I lost my baby around 16 weeks so not the same but can give you some advice on what to expect. They will look like a proper baby. Your body is well into the swing of pregnancy and it takes a while to get back to 'normal'. You will be able to know the gender.

My advice is always that if you feel you might regret it, even slightly. Give it a huge amount of thought because it can't be undone. I hope you reach a decision that makes you happy x

She wouldn’t have to give birth.

OP would be protected from seeing the foetus. She would be told not to look

I'm really sad to say that I would go ahead with the termination so I could have a clean break from him. If he really didn't want you to go ahead with the pregnancy then I would have been more tempted not to have the termination but I think the divorce is the best next step and being able to do that without being tied to him forever with a child will be better for you and your existing children, sorry.

No, I don't think you would regret the baby, but I do think you might come to regret being tied to him because of the baby child. You won't be able to make a clean break and make decisions that are best for your existing children and yourself because of him

@AutumnMum1 I'm so sorry that happened to you and I hope my post doesn't come across as insensitive 😔

I genuinely don't want to go through with it. Clearly, as I was booked in 10 weeks ago. I naively thought things would get better. If I do this, it is not on a whim and won't be without regret or guilt.

@SpringIsSpringing25this is something that has also been weighing heavily on my mind x

@SpringIsSpringing25 I completely agree. If he didn't want it, I'd be left alone. But he does and so I will never have a clean break. As much as I still have the idealistic idea of a happy family

I also love him. I never expected this to be my life at 40. This thread has been an eye opener and comforting more than I can explain

I didn't say she would. But I saw my daughter by accident so I feel it's important to know

I didn't say she would but those questions might come into her head and I think it is best to be prepared for that.

Me ,at 18 weeks, best decision.Mine was surgical under general anaesthetic , felt fine after , just a heavier period than normal .

I understand.

But unfortunately, you'll need to do some work on that. Remember that love is a verb and a choice... even when it doesn't feel like it.

Think about why you are choosing to love a man that makes you feel shit at least as much if not more than he makes you feel good.

What do you need to address within yourself to stop allowing him to treat you the shitty way he does?

It's not easy 🤗

@SpringIsSpringing25I'm trying. I really am...I'm lost