Please speak to a professional or show them your OP if you don’t feel like talking.
On here you’ve got posters who are anti-choice and will just push their own agenda.
You also have people who are so pro-choice, they think your OP reads as someone who wants to abort and has made a final decision on it. Not how it reads at all.
It appears you’ve formed some kind of bond already with how you’re speaking and you seem torn at the moment and are thinking of making a decision based on the news that has recently come to light. Speak to a professional and see what support is out there, if you have any doubts or if you think you will regret an abortion. You seem emotionally attached and if you suffer with your MH already, then having an abortion you don’t really want will seriously impact this further.
If you know 100% you want to go through with this and that you won’t regret it and it isn’t just a reaction to the shocking news you’ve just found out, then I for one am here if you want to message me for any support.
Either way, you can message me at any time. Just don’t rush into a decision please. I had an abortion at 6 weeks, as the dad didn’t want a child, didn’t want to stay with me if I kept them and told me he’d tell everyone I had tried to trap him.. I didn’t, we both knew we were having unprotected sex, but I was 18 and quite immature for my age anyway, he was much older and knew how to manipulate me and I rushed into an abortion out of panicking about being alone with a baby and having people think I’d tried trapping him into it.
I had a bond there even that early on. I would rub my tummy and talk to them at night etc. As soon as I did it, I was hysterical. Later on in life with my now DH, when both DDs were born I couldn’t bring myself to enjoy them out of the guilt I carry and had postnatal depression with both. My MH has got increasingly worse and I’ve been diagnosed with BPD and do wonder if part of that is from the trauma I went through with this decision. I still cry sometimes, 16 years later and I’m even crying writing this. I sometimes wonder what they’d be doing now, if they would have been a DS or DD. I hate that I know this will never go away and I will take all these feelings to my grave. I wouldn’t wish this on anyone.
If you feel attached to them and have any doubts, please, PLEASE speak to a professional first.
If you feel your experience would be nothing like mine and that you’re not attached and you feel the decision to terminate is the best option for you and you'll have no regrets then go for it. I do remember a lot of women and girls heading out of the clinic who weren’t going hysterical and who were clearly relieved to have terminated and just went along with their day. I’m not saying your experience will be like mine, I don’t know you. But I do wish someone had spoken to me like this before I did something I couldn’t take back.
Either way, there are lots of MNetters (including me) who will be here for you to talk to, whichever decision you make. Just make sure it’s the best decision for you.
lots of love to you xxxxx