Late term abortion

[Samsung98]

Feel so awful even posting this but I’m absolutely deverstated & don’t know what else to do Im 20 weeks pregnant & have just been dumped by my bf he says he wants to help raise the baby but not be with me I’m absolutely heartbroken we both have mental health problems I have anxiety & depression still PND with my 4 year old daughter from a previous relationship & do not really enjoy being a parent which makes me think how on earth will I cope with 2 being single!?! I have booked for a abortion next week but I can’t decide what to do to make things worse I have had to move back home 40 miles away from my bf which will make co parenting very difficult :( please help I know I’m a disgusting awful person for considering abortion or having another baby when I don’t even enjoy looking after my daughter

Oh my lovely, speak to your GP or health visitor.

HV's contact number should be in the front of your daughters red book.

This can't be real.
Like and comment or whatever, if u think I should abort or keep it?!

PurpleDaisies this isn't about you. Don't make assumptions what I mean.

PurpleDaisies, in fact, are you not shocked and upset then? If you say no I don't believe you

But Yes, op get advice in rl.
Good luck in making the right decision for you

are you not shocked and upset then? If you say no I don't believe you

What’s the point of asking then?

No, I’m not upset. It’s a lazy assumption to make that people who struggle to conceive are anti choice and that’s why I challenged it. The views on this situation don’t split down infertile/not infertile lines.

I did not mean for the yes or no opinion on comments to come across the way it did can’t you understand how desperate I am to work my head around this? I have already called Samaritans & another helpline also seen a professional councillor today who basically insisted me going through with the baby would be a stupid idea doesn’t mean I’m definitely going to go through with the abortion no matter what people do or do not say on here I am just in general looking for opinions.. I know I don’t deserve to be a parent or pregnant in my current state for all of those trying to make me feel bad you can comment your snide judgmental comments as much as you want dw nothing can possibly upset me or make me feel any worse than I do now.

Well, if you want my opinion, you need to contact social services and your daughter's health visitor about your living situation and mental health as you need support. Go to your scan as planned and Google pregnancy at 21 weeks so you're fully informed about the current stage of foetal development. Consider how you feel- do you think you'd be OK with your choice long term if you aborted? Write a list of pros and cons to each of the options you are considering. Go to the job centre or citizens advice bureau and ask what benefits are available for a homeless single mum with two children, so you're fully aware of what support you could access if you didn't abort. Send your daughter to her dad's for the week so you can focus on you and make it your mission to be as informed as possible about what each of your options entail. Good luck.

Great post, Regan!

Thank you Regan my daughter is at her Dads now till Wednesday so I can get a few days to get my thoughts together. I have spent my sleepless nights googling baby at 21 weeks & looking at abortion pictures/videos also writing a list of pros & cons .. In regards to housing I’m just going to be living at my dads now no matter what happens the chalet is safe clean & warm & frees me of financial responsibility over these next few weeks months. I am still employed with my airline but ended my maternity ground placement due to it being an executive role I could no longer fulfill my maternity leave was due to start in June so it’s still an option if I did go though with the pregnancy..

I think those saying to reconsider have also seen threads on here (including recently) where people have regretted their decision to abort.

I think those saying to reconsider have also seen threads on here (including recently) where people have regretted their decision to abort.

And plenty who don't. All entirely irrelevant to the OP's situation. It's a personal choice.

Of course it is her choice but she’s asking for advice and no point everyone just saying one sided comments.

PurpleDaisies I am not lazily assuming you are not pro choice. Equally others who struggle to conceive may in fact struggle with this.
Sihtrics you are repeatedly jumping down posters necks. For example Tilda was merely pointing out a valid point. Wind your neck in.

Sihtrics you are repeatedly jumping down posters necks. For example Tilda was merely pointing out a valid point. Wind your neck in.

tessie, expressing an opinion different to yours, which I find quite judgemental towards the OP who is obviously struggling with multiple issues, is not jumping down posters necks. It's also not your place to tell others to 'wind their necks in', that's HQ's to do and there's a report function to do so.

Nope. Posters are trying to express other opinions and get shot down by the likes of you sihtrics.

Nope. People like you continue to deride the OP and tell her she's wrong and what she needs to do and what she does and doesn't deserve and again, if you have a problem, but all means use the report function, I can see from the number of deletions on this thread alone that plenty of people have indeed used this option.

ok sihtrics, ok

Besides all I have asked is for the op to get some rl advice and really consider what she is contemplating doing.
If she goes ahead with the termination, that is her choice as it is legal to abort up to 24 weeks.
I sincerely hope she doesn't regret her decision either way.

I don't agree with late term abortion. So have the baby and ask social services, your HV, your family, your team, what to do then. But you've left it too late IMO to abort. You just can't do that when the baby is well. I think that window is left there for foetal abnormalities found where the child won't be compatible with life. It's not designed for 'I split up with my boyfriend' scenarios.

Totally agree Boomsk

At this stage you've already felt the baby move around and kick inside you.

OP, I really wish you could try to bring the baby to term and then decide what to do. Now is a bit too late ethically to abort a baby.

I know that you're probably sad/angry/upset right now, but you need to calm down and sleep and wake up in the morning.

I don't think you want to abort this baby. I think you're maybe lashing out at boyfriend?

You need to ring up on Tuesday morning and tell a nurse that you're really not feeling well mentally.

If it's any consolation, when pregnant (6 mnths), I was standing on a bridge considering whether to throw myself in or not. I rang my mother who was like 'Just come home'. So I did - the next day - I left my job, the city and moved home (that was a whole other shitload of hell in terms of getting benefits in place etc., but I got there eventually!).
If you're not feeling well, maybe you need some kindness towards you - Who might provide that to you?