Late term abortion

[Samsung98]

Feel so awful even posting this but I’m absolutely deverstated & don’t know what else to do Im 20 weeks pregnant & have just been dumped by my bf he says he wants to help raise the baby but not be with me I’m absolutely heartbroken we both have mental health problems I have anxiety & depression still PND with my 4 year old daughter from a previous relationship & do not really enjoy being a parent which makes me think how on earth will I cope with 2 being single!?! I have booked for a abortion next week but I can’t decide what to do to make things worse I have had to move back home 40 miles away from my bf which will make co parenting very difficult :( please help I know I’m a disgusting awful person for considering abortion or having another baby when I don’t even enjoy looking after my daughter

No Boom Iris addressed the points you raised in your post she did not tear in to it .

I appreciate this must be a very difficult thread for you to read and hiding it is possibly best. You are achieving nothing by posting only distress for you and the OP.

@Boomsk I reported your post too. You were threatening graphic content in response to being challenged by someone else. How does this help the OP?

It doesn't help the OP. Nor does tearing apart another users post when you know that in order to defend themselves they will have to use graphic terms.

I don't think any of you are actually supporting this woman in any way. How about you talk to her rather than promoting your pro-abortion agendas.

I could easily say - Ye - sure - Go for it - Knock yourself out. Easily. A lot more easily than saying - eh no - hang on a second - you're in a bit of a pickle right enough - but this might not be the answer you're looking for.

A woman experiencing heart-break at the end of a relationship while 5 months pregnant, is not exactly going to be in the most rational frame of mind. You need to separate the issues she's having and then address them one by one.

Not - 'ye cool - go for it - your body - your choice - girl power'.

I could easily say - Ye - sure - Go for it - Knock yourself out. Easily. A lot more easily than saying - eh no - hang on a second - you're in a bit of a pickle right enough - but this might not be the answer you're looking for.

I haven't said that. I've said that she should access counselling and find out what her options are, with full information on everything, taking into account her circumstances, and make her decision based on what is best for her.

Which I stand by. Emotive language and graphic descriptions are a guilt trip she doesn't need.

What OP does need is proper advice, support and to be able to make her decision based on reality.

It's nothing to do with girl power.

Having a child with someone who doesn't want to be with you (and you still love them) can be fucking shit. I ended up very poorly because of it, and planning my suicide. OP obviously knows it's not a walk in the park at this stage.

Boom, you are making it all about yourself and your opinion and 'defending' it again and again.

And now you've gone a step further and asserted that a person in the OP's situation is just in a 'bit of a pickle' and irrational for exploring the option of terminating her pregnancy.

It's all very aggressive and demeaning to the OP and me-railing.

Boom

The posts on this thread are a mix of different pov. Posters have managed to offer advice and support to the OP without becoming threatening.

The majority of posts are encouraging the OP to seek professional support before making any decision. Posters are offering support either way as that is what she needs at this time.
What she does not need is a poster like you coming on to her thread and behaving in such an aggressive way.

I will ask you again to please hide this thread as your posts are cruel and unsupportive.

I'm entitled to my viewpoint that 'I split up with my boyfriend' is not a good enough reason for abortion 20+ weeks.

This implies that you believe that an abortion at this stage is justified for abnormalities.

As I said, the impact of having a baby with some types of abnormalities are no worse than the impact of having a baby in financial, housing and emotional difficulties which may be the result of a relationship breakdown.

The other argument that you make about the foetus looking human and moving is equally weak because those characteristics also apply in the case of a foetus with abnormalities.

You don’t need to ‘get graphic’ either. I worked as an RN in an abortion clinic and did some training in midwifery. I sometimes worked on the late term abortion ward and am aware of the process and the results. It is often very sad, but the right thing to do and it is legal. The clinic also sometimes carried out surgical abortions after 14 weeks, but this was before the routine use of scans and was due to women not having or giving accurate dates. Although I never worked in theatres, I saw how upsetting it was for some staff.

I’ve also looked at the literature produced by pro-lifers. It is indefensible that people use those images to blackmail and manipulate women who are often vulnerable and deeply ashamed because of the decision that they are having to make. I wish that those people spent time campaigning against child poverty and supporting those children who are born into horrendous circumstances. Now that really is worth doing.

It is indefensible that people use those images to blackmail and manipulate women who are often vulnerable and deeply ashamed because of the decision that they are having to make. I wish that those people spent time campaigning against child poverty and supporting those children who are born into horrendous circumstances. Now that really is worth doing.

I couldn't agree more.

@Boomsk no one is 'pro abortion'. Don't be so bloody ridiculous. If you find the woman's right to have autonomy over her own body so abhorrent, I suggest you do the OP and yourself a favour and stay well away from the Pregnancy Choices subforum.

OP I am so sorry you’re going through this, it sounds like an incredibly difficult place to be in. I just wanted to share my story with you as I feel we’re in a similar place. I’m currently around 14 weeks pregnant with my first child and my 5 year relationship has just broken down. For this reason I am terminating the pregnancy.

Adoption is a valid option, however incredibly difficult and there are already so many children in the system. I would be intrigued to know how many people suggesting it have actually adopted?

You have to do what is right for you, and if you feel like solo parenting your 4 year old will already be too much then please don’t put yourself in this position with a newborn. You know yourself the best. Whilst it’s good to get others opinions, ultimately you are the one who has to live with whatever decision you make.

BPAS and Marie Stopes offer over the phone counselling which might be an idea. Surgical Abortion is still available to you. Please research about this and think about the rest of your life. You deserve to be happy with someone, and it doesn’t sound like this guy is right for you. You and your DC deserve the most incredible life with someone who loves you both to the ends of the earth, regardless of what your MH night tell you.

Please feel free to PM me if you want to chat without judgement. I really hope you find peace with whatever decision you choose for yourself and your 4 year old ❤️

Hi OP,

I’m really sorry you are in a position where you feel you have to make this decision 😔

I recently had an abortion at 11 weeks as I suffer with mental health issues also and my relationship fell apart at 8 weeks. I went back and forth in my mind a million times and finally decided to go ahead with the abortion and regretted it almost instantly. I really wish my mental health was in a better place at the time to make that decision and I later found out that I was dealing with antenatal depression so maybe you are also dealing with this right now. I personally felt I had the abortion to late and wasn’t as far along as you and I do really think you are going to suffer deeply after.

Please please go and get some counselling before you make this decision because my mental health has become even worse now and I so wish I had just spoken to someone first. Sometimes abortion is just not the answer, it doesn’t just go away we are left with all the what if’s, the guilt and shame (but of course not everyone feels this way) and it really can be heartbreaking.

I am not trying to sway your decision in anyway just want to let you know the impact this can have on existing mental heal issues.

Take care

Thanks for all of your help & sharing your experiences I wanted to do an update as I know a lot of the time on here you do not get poster updates you can make your own judgements on your decision or me as a person the reality of it all was I was terrified at the aspect of raising the baby alone & having no where to live however since then I have decided to keep the baby baby’s daddy & I will stay together but not live with each other full time due to our mental health & unsuitable living situation.

Thank you for posting an update OP. All the best to you and your family.

Very best wishes for the future, OP.

Thanks for posting the update. All the best to you and your baby for the future xx

Good luck OP. Please make sure you reach out for all the personal and professional support you need

Thank you for all your kind supportive comments I am going to my GP today to get back on setreline & I am going to continue seeing the therapist hopefully things will get better from now.

I hope that works out for you. Id suggest speaking to your doctor about getting a health visitor. Tell them youre struggling and ask what support is available to you

Good luck, OP. Thanks for updating and all the best for the future. x

All the best Op

Take care

Glad u are keeping your baby ,hope it all works out for u. Stay strong x

Thank you found out today were having a boy 💚💚