Totally's Grads Part Deux - Let's handhold through pregnancy after MC

[LeeWT]

So many threads by so many names but this thread is a place to come after TTC after MC..

Deposit your worries in the box by the door and grab a cuppa! :-)

Blimey Zayja that's one helluva wait. I thought a 12 week dating / test scan was pretty standard but I guess it must depend on where you are. Bugger! Still, just two weeks till doppler at least.

Toomuch, Happy, MsJL good luck with your scans tomorrow.

Ooh and a question. How long do I have to keep popping bloody Pregnacare? I know folic acid is important in early stages but I feel like a cash cow for keeping buying this stuff. Recommended "for preconception, throughout pregnancy and breastfeeding" - ker-ching!!! £££!!!

Is it really nec after 12 weeks? Thanks.

Morning

Gilda I have carried on taking pregnacare and will probably right up to the end - I had low iron in both my previous pregnancies so it seems like a good idea. After 12 weeks though you don't 'have' to take it, it is personal choice I think.

We've been away for the weekend, very nice, but tired now we're back at home. I have two children to entertain on a rainy day .

After all the drama last week, I know that my baby is fine even though I don't feel it move very much, but it is always in the back of my mind. On the October thread everyone is talking about their babies prodding them and DH's feeling movements on the outside. For me I just get some tickly sensations every now and then. I have had big prods twice. I thought that the more pregnancies you had the early the movements were felt, but clearly this isn't true. Sometimes the other thread makes me feel a little neurotic .

We are very excited though about our 20 week scan which is on Monday. We are going to find out the sex and really I just want to see the baby in there doing stuff. We have held off on all shopping up to this point because we are going to find out if we are having a boy or girl so it will be nice to go out and buy things after that.

Anyway, I hope that everyone has a good day and all is well, SB x

I stopped taking pregnacare after 12 weeks - i am absolutely amazed i remembered to take it so religiously for those twelve weeks to be honest!

as long as you are eating a healthy diet with lots of veg etc then i reckon you should be ok (and most importantly bubs should be ok!)

i am going to have a impromptu midwife appt today as really feeling very uncomfortable, lots and lots of BH and i swear i am trickling water.....i cannot believe that i am just continuously leaking of the urinal variety down there! My pelvic floor isn't usually bad and i have n't given birth yet for crying out loud!

Best to get checked out i reckon....

will keep you updated

x

Hi Ladies,

Just letting you know that we had our scan this morning and it went really well. I can't quite believe it all to be honest and am a bubbling mess. I was crying beforehand while DH had a tea in starbucks, in the waiting room, as soon as she put the jelly on me and then when she said and that's your baby and it's heart is beating I just lost it so much so that baby started doing a little dance for us. It was just amazing, it kept waving and scratching it's head. We didn't have the nuchal scan out of personal choice (I can totally understand though why you would have it done) and oh all in all it was great. The best bit was looking at DH and seeing his face so happy - that was definitely the best bit. We have some lovely pictures now too. They also said that I'm 12+6 today so hopefully 13 weeks tomorrow which is great as it means I've got most of the days I lost on the last scan so that was an extra little bonus. Have a due date now too of the 8th of December. I really don't know how I'm going to get through the day - have a really important workshop at 1pm that I have to get ready for and then have to lead and honestly all I can think of is little baby moving about.

I really hope that everyone elses scans go okay today and that you also get good news today. Really really hope so.

Wishing everyone else a very Happy Tuesday even though it's dull and rainy up North!

xx

Oh Happy Girl that sounds amazing. I am so happy for you and your DH. I only hope we get to experience the same thing.

boodle - I hope the midwife can allay your concerns.

We had the scan this morning - I was already weeping (silently) before the dildo-cam went anywhere and was asked if I was 'nervous' about the scan. I said that it was so rarely good news for me and that as I'd never had a positive outcome I pretty much hated scans. So after all that, it's inconclusive. There has been 'significant growth' since last week but no evidence of a fetal pole. So D-Day will be next week (Tuesday) - c'mon little bean.

We've already discussed the merits of ERPC versus natural with Prof. Regan so not feeling massively positive. The one glimmer of hope is that it implanted late in which case the measurments/development are/is on track. It's a big hope with a small chance.

I wish all the rest of you the very best. x

MsJL I'm so sorry things weren't more positively conclusive for you today. If it helps, you know you have a whole team here rooting for you. Fingers and toes crossed that you get a happy surprise next week.

Happy for you I am utterly delighted and doing a little jig across the office. Also hanging our extra bunting in your honour for getting past 12 weeks. Wishing you a worry free next 6 months!
PS - Now can we add you to the list?

Boodle ooo sounds annoying. I hope the midwife can help advise on the lady garden dampness!

Samantha I've found the monthly threads are weirdly competitive so wouldn't worry about it either. It's also a bit misleading if you're at the end of a month with others 3 or 4 weeks ahead. Monday sounds exciting for you, am really looking forward to finding out the sex too (and starting shopping of course)

Thanks all for the supplements advice, I'll get another box and see how I feel after that. They remind me of when I used to take the pill before DH agreed on having kids, oo how I used to resent taking them!

Toomuch fingers crossed for you too today.

MsJL Fingers crossed...it must be awful waiting, I am really thinking of you ((((hugs))))

Gilda I think you're right about the monthly threads, they are competitive. I don't often get involved, usually too busy at work anyway! I am due towards the end of the month so that will make a difference too. I've also noticed that after I posted explaining my worries, lots of others said that actually their movements weren't so different from mine after all...

Boodle Hope you get on well with the midwife this afternoon. It was thought that I had leeking waters towards the end of PG#1 but nothing was ever conclusively determined. She might be at least able to advise you on getting more comfortable.

This afternoon I have decided to find out about reusable nappies. Anyone who knows anything useful, please post!

Oh my gosh. It was just so lovely. Bean looking thoroughly bean like, measuring absolutely spot on 8+3 and an in range heart rate etc. I promptly burst into tears obviously! Having been a total wreck all day (I stayed in bed!) I just feel so much better. I know we're not there yet, but I can just dare to hope now.

Thank you for all the crossed fingers! Will continue to keep mine crossed MsJL for a positive outcome next week.

Have personally been conned into the combined Pregnacare with oils, they're so expensive it's untrue. But I went shopping with DH and he was just like "Oh but they must be the best!" like it didn't matter, so I'm still soldiering on.

Have a lovely evening ladies, I will sit admiring a small black and white blob for some time!

Happygirl and toomuchteaching - that just sounds so wonderful. I can hardly even imagine seeing the little baba. My goodness, I feel quite emotional on your behalf!

MsJL - fingers crossed for you. As others have said, it must be truly awful waiting. Thinking of you.

Me - still feeling as sick as a dog. Can no longer remember what it feels like to feel normal, to have an appetite, to be able to walk around with anything other than a pained grimace on my face. To better days ahead xxx

Toomuch that's just wonderful, so pleased for you. I bet you'll sleep well tonight! Congratulations

Lucy commiserations, but yes, I'll happily join you in a toast to better days.

When does the blooming start then?

Congrats HAPPYGIRL and TOOMUCHTEACHING its lovely isn t it?

MRSJL hope you get your answers next week , take care X

I m still taking pregnacare..i know they're expensive but what the hell its only money!!!! LOL

Hi to everyone else hope alls well...I m now 22 weeks, 4 days!!!! Been to look round our local delivery suite at 1 of our "local" hospitals today [we re in the middle of 2 hospitals about 30 mins from each]...OMG its scarey....makes it all seem soo real.We ve got a birth centre in the same hospital i work in , a midwife led unit only 10 mins from home soo i m going to see my midwife tomorrow to find out if i can be booked in there Oh its frightening!!!!!!!

On aL at the moment from work its lovely ...chilling.Back to bGT!!!! YEH1!!!

morning all....well i am not leaking water, membranes intact and cervix tight as a...well a tight cervix!

babys FHR was up at 150ish for the whole time they monitored me and nice and steady...(a girl rate i reckon but we shall have to wait and see!)

the pain i am experiencing is classic fibroid pain apparently and as mine is at the top of my womb is is twisting the muscles laterally - it really can be excruciating and feels very similar to proper contractions. It makes my bump start much higher already to like right under boobs for say a 34 weeker but she showed my actual baby bump as being spot on for dates at 24cms...baby is small if anything she says altho i look like i am having a giant bubba!!!

At least now i know the discomfort is not baby related. means i can relax that bubs is still doing ok even when i feel rubbish. All urine and BP etc are fine.

Congrats to happygirl and TMT that is really lovely.

mrsJL i will pray for some good growth this week!

lou - hello....nice to see an 'oldie'....don't know where all the oldies have gone!?!? i inadvertently saw the delivery suite yesterday as that was where i was monitored....Queen Elizabeth in woolwich - it was really nice actually....a lady was mooing in the room next to me and it was actually a mix of excitement and total panic listening! It sounded just as painful as i remember!!!!

Hi boodle i know all the "oldies" seem to have slunk off somewhere ..Do you think theres something they re not telling us!!!!!

Glad alls well with you X isn t time flying by now?

Just a short note to say thank you for all the positive vibes. It really has been a massive support to me.

toomuch - I am so chuffed for you and DH. What a wonderful feeling that must be. This whole process is so exhausting but I trust you're bouncing around today.

boodle - let's hear it for your cervix! Well what else can I say?! On a serious note, I'm sorry you're in pain and hope it eases soon.

Good luck to those of you making decisions about hospitals etc.

Thought I was doing a reasonable job of not looking obviously pregnant at work... But someone just offered me their seat on the tube ... I was hugely grateful though!

Toomuch and Happy, congrats on lovely scans, MsJL I'm tightly crossing fingers for you for a good outcome next Tuesday. Can't begin to imagine what you're going through just now, uncertainty is horrible.

Glad to hear all's well Boodle, but sorry you're in pain...

As for the pregnancy vitamins, Gilda, I'm spending a fortune on Zita West ones, and spatone too... I figured given 2 MCs this year and my advanced age my body needs all the help it can get.... (or am I just a sucker for marketing ploys??)

Good news on the other thread today, I see you've spotted it already GLB... How are you feeling now? Did you decide on a scan or are you waiting it out till 12 weeks? Hope you're feeling nicely nauseous this week... In a good way, iyswim....

My symptoms seem to be less bad this week, though still hugely bloated (obviously, after tube seat incident) a bit nauseous and tired... Keep telling myself that's all normal but not entirely relaxed about things.

Unbuffy, hope you're back home and feeling a bit brighter. I have that dreadful cold this week, it's really no fun...

And all you teachers, hope you're having lovely relaxing half terms. I have step kids at home all week and it's chaos! Work feels like a lovely peaceful escape... Rare that I can say that...

Hello, I was on the 'miscarried and ttc' thread and got a BFP a week and a half ago. I was holding off adding myself to the graduate list and joining here for a little while, but could do with some advice/words of wisdom and it doesn't seem to fair to ask people who are TTC about this. I am coming up to 6 weeks on Saturday and have been finding this week really hard, as I lost my last baby at 6 weeks (at the end of March). Up till then all had been fine, much like this pregnancy- not much symptoms, just tiredness, sore boobs and cramping. I'm so scared it is going to happen again. Every time I go to the toilet I hold my breath when I wipe, and this week I have had two nightmares about miscarrying. The last one was last night and I dreamed that I started bleeding and lost the baby. It felt so real and now I am really upset. I feel like this week is just dragging by and I'm trying not to get stressed but it is so hard not to. Did anybody else experience this? How did you cope?

Hi dorcas111. First of all, congrats on the BFP. I think your anxiety is completely normal. Lots of us on this thread have mentioned feeling heightened anxiety, especially around the time of a mc.

I had it massively a few weeks ago around the 7.5 week mark, which was when I mc'd. And, like you, I had a horribly vivid dream about having another miscarriage. It was so vivid and I convinced myself it was a premonition. However, I'm now nearly 10 weeks so the dream didn't seem to mean anything. In saying that, until I have a scan I don't think I'll believe there is a real live little person growing inside me. So I think, sadly, that some level of constant anxiety is inevitable.

Hope you are feeling a bit better xxx

Hey Dorcas!! Congrats on your BFP, really glad to see you here. It is totally nerve-wracking, especially as you come up to the point when you mc'd last time - it felt like I was crying all the time at first, I have found it virtually impossible to be excited.

Your symptoms sound exactly like mine and I'm 12+1 weeks now. The wait is just so, so long, I hope the next couple of weeks go as fast as they can for you so you can get past that 6 week point and start feeling a bit more confident. Don't forget, the stats are in your favour that it will work out ok.

I seem to have lost my symptoms, although a bit tired, but no more spotting. I am holding out until Wednesday when I'll have my dating scan. Am exhausted from worrying about it!!

Alba - hope the chaos at home is going ok!!

MrsJL - thinking of you for Tuesday, hope it is some good news for you.

DORCAS i would say what you re experiencing is totally normal...All of us on this thread have had a rocky time up to press.I m now 23 weeks pg but i ve had 1 MMC,1MC and 1 CP prior to this and when i got my BFP this time i remember my only thought was "here we go again" !!! By 8 weeks when i had my first early scan i d convinced myself and everyone else i d miscarried again.The first 12 weeks took FOREVER and to some point i m still detacted , not particularly excited and lurch from 1 worry to another!!!! I ve just taken it week by week, sometimes day by day this time from 1 liitle victory to another.I too had vivid dreams about miscarrying, think thats normal if you ve been through it before.

Oh congrats on your BFP

Hi Dorcas Congratulations! For my part I have two children already and had an early mc in December. It really shook me as it was my first mc and I just wasn't expecting it at all having had two uneventful previous pregnancies. As a result I can feel quite peculiar about my pregnancy. I have had my 12 week scan and heard the baby's heartbeat twice on a doppler - I'm 20 weeks now, yet I still somehow don't believe I am going to end up with a baby. My midwife thinks I'm crazy and keeps saying that the risks have passed, but I still find it tricky to believe. I am having my 20 week scan on Monday and I have set this as a deadline for myself - it is like the final hurdle to overcome. Don't get me wrong, I am really excited about having a baby and mentally I have made loads of preparations but I can't bring myself to buy anything in case something happens and I don't need the things after all. Some days are definatly better than others, in fact I do go through weeks where I feel positive. When I feel worried I just take each day as it comes and it seems that after all they have all turned out just fine...

Thanks everyone, it is reassuring to know that others have felt the same and got through it. I knew this was going to be hard but had no idea it would be this stressful! I think what is really freaking me out is that I am getting cramps, I've had them for the last two weeks. I know that these can be normal, but I had them last time too and there wasn't really a point when they became obviously something more IYSWIM. I just began bleeding lightly and then the cramps and bleeding got steadily worse. The midwife I spoke to today was very lovely but said that really there was no way of knowing for sure if they were just normal or the start of something worse which hasn't really helped, although I appreciate she was just being honest. Has anybody else had this and still been okay?

Hi dorcas, and congratulations!

To be honest I had absolutely no warning about my mc... I woke up in the middle of the night (in a tent on holiday) and there we were. I'm now 8+5 and have had all sorts of symptoms, some which have freaked me out, and some which have disappeared leaving me sobbing. It's a really stressful time. And I am having the most vivid dreams ever at the moment, including a couple about miscarrying, so know where you are.

I've had crampy days, and non-crampy days, and to be honest I think it's all normal. All you can do is know you're pregnant right now, and keep going with that until something happens that says otherwise. But I don't always take that advice myself, and am desperately waiting for the 12 week mark.

Hope you have a good evening. And hi everyone else. And Alba half term is being spent lying around feeling dreadful... not sure how I'm going to cope with work again!

Hi Dorcas,

I am new to this thread but in a similar situation to yours. I am also 6 weeks pregnant after miscarrying (two months ago) and anxious that it will happen again. My miscarriage happened in week 11 but the baby stopped developing at week 6.

Have you considered a viability scan? I am having it next week and hope that it will provide me with some re-assurance.

I am keeping my fingers crossed for you.

Hi Culina, it is such a stressful time isn't it? Yes I am going to ask for an early scan, but, as the midwife pointed out on the phone to me yesterday, at this stage there isn't much it can tell you as all could be fine and then a few days later everything could change. I know this from bitter experience, as last time I went to the EPU with pains and bleeding, was given a scan and told the embryo was in the right place and told I 'definitely wasn't having a miscarriage', only to lose the baby two days later. Still a bit about that. Having said that though I'm sure that I read somewhere that once you hear the baby's heartbeat there is a 95% chance all will be ok, so if that is right I may try and get a scan when I'm a bit further along. I think at 6 weeks it is perhaps still a bit early? And I can see that it would give you reassurance that all is okay right now, which is something to hold on to. I think I'm just a bit scarred still by what happened last time- by being given hope and then having it taken away.
I suppose I know that what the midwife said is right- at this stage all I can do is wait, I just never expected it to be as difficult as all this.