Totally's Grads Part Deux - Let's handhold through pregnancy after MC

[LeeWT]

So many threads by so many names but this thread is a place to come after TTC after MC..

Deposit your worries in the box by the door and grab a cuppa! :-)

Hi ladies.

Can I join you?

I was on the TTC after MC thread and was delighted/terrified when I got BFP on 30th April.

I had mc last Nov at 7.5 weeks and am getting increasingly nervous as I approach the point of my last mc.

One massive difference between the two pgs - I feel godawful this time.

Does anyone have any suggestions for ms? It's awful. I'm trying to eat small and often, drinking flat 7UP, sucking sweets.

They ease it for a little while, but I suppose I'm seeking the impossible - a miracle cure. Anyone know of one?

xxx

I recognise some names from the TTC after MC thread. Hi to all.

I have recently found out that I am pregnant again after miscarrying my first pregnancy at 6 weeks in February. I had some brown discharge and went to the hospital as a ?just in case.?They scanned me and said ?nothing was there, no sac or yolk? no one has explained properly what this meant or why it happened but I started bleeding properly a few days later and my HCG levels fell. And I miscarried.
To say I feel very apprehensive wouldn?t really be a strong enough description. I am new to mumsnet and to be honest I was reluctant to even register as I am so convinced I will miscarry again and then will have to face upsetting emails as a reminder of another disappointment. I am currently only 5 weeks 4 days and hope that I will maybe calm down after reaching 6 Weeks. I seem to spend small amounts of time allowing myself to feel happy and then getting very scared and just wanting to burst into tears as I?m convinced I?ll have/have had another miscarriage. I then sometimes get further upset by thinking that maybe the fact I feel this way is a sign that all isn?t right.
To add to my worry I don?t seem to have any pregnancy symptoms at all but have had frequent cramping and twinges, funny sensations in my lower pelvic area and period like pain throughout, nothing too severe however they have been persistent and the period like pains were on and off all day two days ago which is surely too late for any kind of implantation bleeding although they are definitely much less frequent the past two days but still getting them occasionally?? In addition to this any kind of cramping thread I read seems to result in miscarriage! I?ve also been having horribly vivid dreams about blood and miscarriage.. This quote from babyworld?s miscarriage symptoms terrifies me: ?For some women, the first sign of miscarriage isn't bleeding, but a sense that something is wrong, or that they do not feel pregnant any more.?
Any help, advice, etc. would be appreciated!

Hi, and welcome LucyT66 and shanastar Lucy, sorry no miracle cure, I got by on lucozade, dry crackers and plain cheese sandwiches but no sooner did I find something palatable, I would go off it big time! Just do what you're doing, little and often and never ever let yourself get hungry!! It's very hard to get out of that one!

shanastar Try and relax, I know the early days are truly terrifying when you've had a MC, I almost would not accept it until I was about 8 weeks, a kind of emotional safeguard. I told myself if I lost it up till then, I could cope. (I don't mean to ever ever underestimate the hurt that an early miscarriage causes but I lost my last one at 15 weeks and that period between weeks 12 - 15 was far worse than the early weeks.)
I didn't have any symptoms until 6 weeks so, I just felt like I was going to come on at any moment, a dragging heavy sensation. It's possibly a bit early for that 'feeling pregnant' feeling, although I know exactly what you mean!
Best of luck, just come and have a chat here when you're feeling a bit nervous xxx

Oh and Gi1da, although my symptoms have been pretty much constant, I'm sure lots of people will tell you symptoms do come and go, I'm sure its nothing to worry about unless they stop abruptly and completely, in which case I would always just check with your midwife to put your mind at rest xx

Thanks Sarahlou8. I feel a bit better now. Was just feeling godawful and down earlier. Then I felt so damn guilty for even feeling that way. I even posted earlier on a thread about hating being pg, then was utterly consumed with shame and guilt.

I know exactly what you mean about finding something palatable, then going off it. Yesterday, I thought I'd found a miracle cure - flat coke and mint toffees. Today, the thought of them makes me so nauseous.

Can I ask you something? - In your post to shanastar you said the period between weeks 12 and 15 was far worse than the early weeks. Having struggled after having a mc at 7.5 I can only imagine how awful, really awful, it must be to lose a baby at 15 weeks. But do you mean your symptoms between weeks 12 and 15 were far worse? Or that your attachment and bond to the baby became so much stronger during that period. I'm terribly sorry if this is a painful or insensitive question, but I just wondered if you would feel ok to elaborate a little?

Hi Gi1da. I've also heard that it's very common for symptoms to come and go. Sometimes, I think they can disappear for 3 or more days. Fx for you.

Hi shanastar - as sarahlou said, I think this fear is quite normal. I've even started trying to meditate for 15 minutes in the morning - just to get a bit of relaxation into the day!

best wishes to all xxx

Thanks GLB, Sarahlou, Toomt and Barrenb for the advice and support re marie celeste preg symptoms, I think I've been having a couple of off days. Slapping myself with my own haddock, in fact might even go for the heavy guns and unpack the Monkfish of Irony since I was only recently telling Happy to get positive! Sorry Haps!

and TooMuch don't worry about the spelling of my name, its only got a 1 in there because the name was already taken and I was being stubborn! (Named for Gilda in Noel Coward's play Design for Living)

Upduffy are you feeling any better yet? Hope so.

Welcome to the rollercoaster Lucy and Shanastar and congratulations

Thanks so much for your support ladies,

It really means alot and it's good to know that others have gone through the same thing. Sometimes I think I may be going crazy.

I've called NHS Direct about the cramping, they basically said it could be fine or it could not be, so all in all not very reassuring at all.

Time will tell... fingers crossed all will be well.

love and luck to all
xx

Welcome Shastar and Lucy nice to see you both X

Welcome Lucy and Shanastar, you're in the right place for worries!! Congratulations, glad to see you here.

Shanastar - I just wanted to say that what you describe sounds exactly like me at the same stage this time around. I kept saying "this feels like last time" as the only symptom I had was cramping. It felt as bad as period pains, and reminded me of miscarrying. It turns out it is totally normal!! I had an early scan at 7+3 and everything was fine, heartbeat and everything - and a bit after that the cramping went away. I spoke to a friend who said she had cramps all through the first trimester that were even worse than period pains, it was her third pregnancy (1 DS, 1 mc) but it was all normal and she had another lovely DS who is happy and healthy.

I think the hardest thing is that pregnancy symptoms are sometimes there/not there/vary on a daily basis, and are so different person to person, and some things you think might be miscarriage symptoms are actually pregnancy symptoms. Even if you bleed a bit, that can be normal.

I am so super calm today it is amazing, wait a few hours, I'll be in the toilets crying thinking that it's all over - as Gilda said, rollercoaster about sums it up!!

Deep breaths and fingers crossed...

xxxx

ahem, ladies, may I join you?

I got a BFP on Monday, but had been showing positive on OPK for the week before (didn't realise they also pick up on hCG - d'oh!)

I had a mmc at 12 weeks on 22 March, and we conceived during the WTF cycle straight afterwards so I've not had a period since the ERPC. I reckon I'm around 5+5 weeks, but can't be sure until a dating scan.

Not really sure I can really believe it yet. Had some spotting on Tuesday night which freaked me out. I spoke to my doctor who called the EPU - but they wouldn't see me! Said it was most likely implantation bleeding. Really hope so, but feeling majorly nervous that it'll go the same way as the other one and I won't know I've miscarried. Going to arrange for a private scan around 7 weeks to see if it's progressing. Anyone else scared s*less about being pregnant again?

Recognise some of the names from the Just MC and TTC thread

Good Morning Ladies,

Welcome Lucy and Shanastar - great to have some new girls here and the ladies have been giving ye great advice as always. I can only reiterate what's already been said, it's a nerve-wracking time but hopefully will all be worth it in the end

See G1lda I'm trying to be positive and happy!! Hope you are feeling a bit more positive!

oh welcome Redheadgal thta's great another new joiner! I am the same as you and I conceived straight after MC in February and had no period in between... I got a scan at what I thought was 8 weeks but was 7 weeks.. apparently after a MC your cycle can be a little bit messed up so the dates can change a little bit.. I would definitely recommend an early scan for peace of mind.. We were going to get a private scan for definite and then even though I was told I wouldnt get one somehow got an NHS scan. Have my 12 weeks scan in 2.5 weeks now.

How is everyone else doing?

No real news with me, my lovely back passage issues seem to be calming down which is good news! Trying to drink tons of water and may even buy some disgusting prune juice this weekend. Now I'm not complaining but I actually can't get over how big my belly gets in the evenings in particular especially given the little bean is so so tiny! I've seen 2 of my friends be pregnant over the last year and really really don't think they were had this belly at even 12 weeks let alone 9.5! Anyhow not complaining I don't how big my belly gets once all is okay

Hope you all have a good day!

Friday:
Jacanne - GIRL - 38+2 wks - due 29th April/6 May
Becky78 - baby#1 - ??? - 37+4 wks, due 12th May
Meita - baby#1 - (not telling) - 26+3 wks, due 17th August - next MW appointment 26th May
Boodleboot - baby#3 - 1DD {10} 1DS {5} - 22+1 wks - due1 2th sept
TFLS - baby#1 - 21+1 wks, due 29 Sept
LeeWT - baby#2 (DD1 2yrs) 20+3 wks, due 30th Sept - 20 week scan 24th May
Louisesh - baby#1, 20+1 wks, due 1st Oct
MrsRigby - baby#2 (DS 15 months), 18+1 wks, EDD 14th October
Effilump - baby#5 (ds 22,15,16mnths. dd13) 17+4 wks EDD 18th Oct
SamanthaB123 baby#3(2x DD's 11 & 9 yrs) 17+3 wks, EDD 20th October, 20 week scan 07.06.10
Sarahlou8 - baby#3 (DD 11, DS 9) 17 wks, EDD 22nd October
DomesticGOddess - baby#? 16+6 wks, EDD 22nd October
emmielou81 - baby#5 (DS 6, DD 3) - 16+1 wks, EDD 28th October
BestLaidPlans - baby#1, 13+2 wks EDD 14th November
Unbuffy - baby#2 (DD 16 months) - 11+3 wks. EDD 30th November, scan 21st May
Goodluckbear - baby#1, 9+2 wks, EDD 15th December
JodieO - baby#4 (DD 8, DS1 6, DS2 3) - 7+6 wks EDD 25th December next scan 12th May
Gilda - baby#1 - 7+6 wks, due 25th December
sparklyrainbow- Baby#1 6+6 EDD 1st January 2011
AlbeDeTamble - baby#2 (DS 2) - 6+5 wks EDD 2 January
toomuchteaching - baby#1 5+6 wks EDD 8th January

We share the pain and mourn the loss with:
Jollster - one DC, two babies lost, recent MMC w9/@11, 26th Feb
Cheepz - one DS, recent MMC w9, 26th March
Freezing - one DD, recent MC w11, 28th March
BarrenBrook - third and most recent MMC 12th May

The babies are arriving! Huge congratulations to:
Totally with daughter Faith Juliet, 9lb5oz born Tuesday 16th February 2010
Amyboo with son Matthew James, 4.714kg (10lb3oz) born Tuesday 30th March 2010
Hoops with son Benjamin Scott, 7lb4oz born Friday 2nd April 2010
Memorylapse with daughter Olivia, born Friday 16th April 2010

Thanks for the welcome Happy. I'm really glad to be here. Although I keep remembering the most poignant thing some wise lady said after her mc - that the thing that saddened her the most was losing the joy of being pregnant, that being pregnant will never now be as joyful and carefree as it was the first time round. I really feel that. I'm not pregnant, just experiencing heightened hCG which may result in a baby. Sorry if that sounds overly negative, just don't feel I can really afford to believe at the moment. Of course statistically this baby is fine!

Oh my stats:

Redheadgal - baby #1 5+5 wks ?? EDD 11th January

Welcome Lucy, Shanastar and redheadgal! Congratulations on being pregnant, I hope you will remain so for a long time
When I first joined here I was so scared things would go wrong - and now I'm already nearing the third trimester. Where has the time gone? I used to remind myself that having had a previous MC did not mean I would have another, just as it did not mean I would NOT have another. But I guess there is simply no going back to the kind of emotional state you have when you discover you're pregnant and have never MCed before. So all I can say is to try to take every day as it comes, remind yourself that you ARE pregnant right now, and would have plenty of time to worry/grieve IF things went wrong, when it actually happened. I know it's a bit theoretical and I am usually the last to follow my own advice, but still, I'm saying it again: You ARE pregnant right now. Don't forget that!

boodle I'm sorry but I don't know anything about fibroids. I hope it's not too nasty. Did the 20w-scan go well apart from that? Everything ok with baby? Did you stick to your resolution not to find out its gender?
And thanks for getting the list moving again - it seems to have been well taken care of since!

Well my dire rear issues seem to have been down to a campylobacter bug I must have picked up on holiday. So now I'm on antibiotics, though I don't have any symptoms anymore. Of course I had a moment of panic when I googled the beasties and found some sites claiming that there is a connection between campylobacter and stillbirth, premature labour, etc; and also when the AB leaflet said "do not take when pregnant". But I double-checked and am now less worried.

On the other hand, I was wondering if any of you had any words of advice on the following: Starting from about 10 days ago, and becoming more frequent, I develop this quite bad stabbing pain in my lower abdomen, one-sided, AFTER peeing. So I pee, wipe, get up - and there's the pain. Sometimes it lasts up to 15 minutes and makes it very painful to walk or just stand straight. It's ok as long as I sit or curl up. I don't think it's UTI related as the most recent dip test last week came up clear. Somehow it feels as if it is the emptiness of the bladder that's hurting me somehow, maybe by displacing something or other inside me. Any ideas? Should I be concerned? I'm now in the relatively happy place of feeling baby move around and kick and box me all the time, so I am not particularly worried about baby's well-being, but this thing, whatever it is, does hurt and is becoming a nuisance.

Sorry for the long post - I find it hard to write succinctly!

Hi everyone! I haven't posted in a while but welcome to all of the newbies and so so so sorry to BarrenBrook. Meita As a frequent getter of UTI's, I would suggest that that sounds like a UTI! Maybe you need to get it checked again just for peace of mind. I'm sure it's all fine though.

I don't seem to be in a great place this week. Guilt, guilt, guilt, weight gain, hormones, cramps, general naval gazing. Blah! I think DH thinks I'm losing my mind.

I can't stop looking backwards which I know is exactly the wrong thing to do. My last pregnancy felt so great at the beginning. I'd just lost loads of weight (almost 3 stone) which because I've got PCOS was quite a big deal. I was FINALLY able to book in with the GP with a normal BMI and not feel like a 'problem.' It was planned, and I'd done everything right (DS1 was a BIG surprise so until I found out at 7 weeks pregnant I was smoking and drinking like a pro!). And then it all went wrong. And I just can't get my head round it.

I've put about a stone back on which has taken my BMI up again and I'm DREADING my booking in appointment as a result. And I just keep thinking that if I miscarry this time, it'll be my fault, because I should have lost more weight instead of heading into self-destruct land and eating for two when I didn't need too! PCOS has strong links to weight gain (both in terms of being able to lose it, and also that the best way of managing symptoms is to lose it. Double whammy!).

I think I'm just hormonal and frightened and feeling massively shit about myself. Sorry to whine - I'm being daft and if anyone came on here and said all of this, I'd tell them to stop being so hard on themselves etc etc.

Blah! Think I need a cup of tea.

Hi, Gosh it's been busy since last night

Welcome Redheadgal LucyT66 Don't worry, It's not insensitive at all, it makes me feel better to talk about it as many people in RL just can't. My symptoms had got better from 12 weeks onwards, I was referring to the bond. After you get to that 'magical' 12 week stage, when everyone pretty much says you are home and dry, I think you allow yourself to bond and really start to look forward to the future.
So from 12 weeks onwards I've just taken a day at a time. 15 weeks and I was just constantly remembering what happened, and now at 17 weeks I'm finally starting to feel better. I think that's why I have been so anxious to feel the baby move this week, just to reassure me it's okay and that it's not going to happen again.

I do want to make sure though, that those of you in the early weeks know that what happened to me was very unlucky, and that for most, 12 weeks really is a magic number.

It's taken me ages to write this. I hope I haven't worried everyone now. xx

I think you're really brave Sarahlou, I'm so glad you are starting to feel better about it now.

I think that a little bit of worry never goes away, but I will be happy to get to 12 weeks. I am now (despite being super confident earlier) have a little panic as I have a really bad cramp, like a bad period pain. But no bleeding, so I am going to stick to being positive and hope for the best.

Holding on to the rollercoaster....! Have a great weekend ladies,

xxx

Sarahlou I think you are super brave also.. hope baby moves soon.. you haven't overly worried us don't worry i think we all know that there the worry doesn't end until baby is in our arms and then a whole new stage of worry probably begins!

GLB i had that yesterday and fingers crossed all seems okay today.. i think those period type pains seem to come and go.. i keep telling myself that anyhow and because i didn't get this far last time i don't know that it's not normal if that makes sense!

Okay i'm heading home, going to put the feet up, been out for meals the last 2 nights with work and then DH but just fancy a night in front of the tv trying not to fall asleep!

have a good weekend ladies,
xx

Just wanted to say I love this thread, thank you everyone for your honesty and openess. I wish I'd found something like it after my mc, I so needed to tell someone the full story, but not being a mum, mn didn't even occur to me, so I kind of soldiered on in silence.

Hope you all have a lovely weekend, hello new people (I'm definitely still new too), sending out as much positivity as I can muster.

Hello all, have not really been around for a bit but I think I've (more or less) caught up.

Absolutely gutted for Barrenbrook. Really really upset and angry and pissed about the unfairness of it. Really.

Hello to everone who's joined since last week - I think Lucy, Toomuch, Redhead and Shanaster - recognise Lucy and Redhead from the Other Side I think? Welcome to the nightmare joy of pregnancy after mc...

Someone said something about terrible ms - lucozade was wonderful at first but no longer works as makes me feel sick! But was wonderful for a couple of weeks. I also cut out bread which helped as bloatiness made it all worse. I still feel sick and awful btw!

Got back from parents yesterday after a hellish journey. Hopefully now have an upduffed dog, but time will tell. Damn, dogs have it complicated... Suffice to say a boy dog has a bone in his willy and it has to stay inside the girl dog (who erm clenches around it) for about 20 minutes. Ick! I've had a chest infection which explains why I've felt rough as all Hell this past fortnight. Yummy, green phlegm. But now I'm (physically) a bit better and getting stressed about next Friday. Just expecting everything to be over, but then I did that before the 8-week too and it was still hanging in there. Yes, it's Alton Towers round here!

Hopefully be more 'around' until then, looking for continual reassurance probably!

Bestest to all...

Hi ladies.

Sarahlou -thank you so much for your response. I don't think you will have worried anyone. I thought that was what you would have meant - about the bond being so much stronger. It is unimaginable, I think, unless you have experienced a late mc. Although I found it very difficult having a mc at 7.5 weeks, it was more the loss of hope and excitement and possibility that I felt than the loss of a son or daughter, if you know what I mean. Again, I really hope that doesn't sound insensitive. It was just my experience and I know there are others who do feel the loss very acutely.

I also feel that I can't really relax until I get to the 8 week stage, which will be next Friday.

But the nausea, as much as I hate it, is also slightly reassuring.

Hi to Unbuffy - yes, I recognise you from the TTC after mc thread.

Thank you so much for everyone's tips for ms. At the moment, lucozade is doing the trick.

Have a good day all xxx

Morning ladies,

Sarahlou - hope you start to feel the baby move soon. I think taking things just one day at a time is all we can do. I don't intend to do any planning or imagining of the future until I'm well down the line. I'm not taking anything for granted this time round.

Waves to LucyT and Unbuffy - wow canine conception sounds stressful. At least we get to enjoy SWI. Hope the chest infection clears up soon.

Hi to ToomuchT and Shanaster - hopefully we'll be handholding on here for many months to come.

Woke up to find boobs had exchanged places with boulders. Also experienced the return of the 'Extreme Hunger' which hit me every day at 5pm last time. So I'm feeling a bit more pregnant which is reassuring.

Hi all, come for a very quick, unpregnancyrelated moan.

I have two children.

Why have I got 7 children round my house on a Sunday?

Neighbours children! Don't usually mind. They usually come in ones or two's though!

Hope it all went well yesterday SarahLou - 7 in da house sounds like a bit of a nightmare to me!!

Hello to Redhead! Congrats!

Feeling reassuringly queasy today

Monday:
Jacanne - GIRL - 38+5 wks - due 29th April/6 May
Becky78 - baby#1 - ??? - 38 wks, due 12th May
Meita - baby#1 - (not telling) - 26+6 wks, due 17th August - next MW appointment 26th May
Boodleboot - baby#3 - 1DD {10} 1DS {5} - 22+4 wks - due1 2th sept
TFLS - baby#1 - 21+4 wks, due 29 Sept
LeeWT - baby#2 (DD1 2yrs) 20+6 wks, due 30th Sept - 20 week scan 24th May
Louisesh - baby#1, 20+4 wks, due 1st Oct
MrsRigby - baby#2 (DS 15 months), 18+4 wks, EDD 14th October
Effilump - baby#5 (ds 22,15,16mnths. dd13) 18 wks EDD 18th Oct
SamanthaB123 baby#3(2x DD's 11 & 9 yrs) 17+6 wks, EDD 20th October, 20 week scan 07.06.10
Sarahlou8 - baby#3 (DD 11, DS 9) 17+3 wks, EDD 22nd October
DomesticGOddess - baby#? 17+2 wks, EDD 22nd October
emmielou81 - baby#5 (DS 6, DD 3) - 16+4 wks, EDD 28th October
BestLaidPlans - baby#1, 13+5 wks EDD 14th November
Unbuffy - baby#2 (DD 16 months) - 11+6 wks. EDD 30th November, scan 21st May
Goodluckbear - baby#1, 9+5 wks, EDD 15th December
JodieO - baby#4 (DD 8, DS1 6, DS2 3) - 8+2 wks EDD 25th December next scan 12th May
Gilda - baby#1 - 8+2 wks, due 25th December
sparklyrainbow- Baby#1 7+2 EDD 1st January 2011
AlbeDeTamble - baby#2 (DS 2) - 7+1 wks EDD 2 January
toomuchteaching - baby#1 6+2 wks EDD 8th January

We share the pain and mourn the loss with:
Jollster - one DC, two babies lost, recent MMC w9/@11, 26th Feb
Cheepz - one DS, recent MMC w9, 26th March
Freezing - one DD, recent MC w11, 28th March
BarrenBrook - third and most recent MMC 12th May

The babies are arriving! Huge congratulations to:
Totally with daughter Faith Juliet, 9lb5oz born Tuesday 16th February 2010
Amyboo with son Matthew James, 4.714kg (10lb3oz) born Tuesday 30th March 2010
Hoops with son Benjamin Scott, 7lb4oz born Friday 2nd April 2010
Memorylapse with daughter Olivia, born Friday 16th April 2010

Glad you are feeling queasy today Gilda - feels odd saying that!!

xxx