Pregnancy after loss

[ChasingRainbow5]

Hi, I'm 4+4 after a loss at 6+5 in April. I don't want to join the 'due in January' thread yet as I joined the December one then had to bow out, but thought it might be nice to have a thread where anyone in a similar position could chat/vent? I can't see any recent similar threads, apols if I have missed.

I'm feeling a lot more nauseous than last time which I have read can be a positive sign, but obviously doesn't guarantee anything. Just trying to cling to any hope I can!

It did thank you, feeling more sore than I thought I would but glad to be home. They’ve signed me off work for a month. The staff were amazing, I was well looked after. We’ve ordered a takeaway tonight and my partner has the rest of the week off luckily x

@sapphirerubydiamond I’m glad you’re being taken care of, I hope you’re not in pain for long and you get some answers soon x

@sapphirerubydiamond glad you're back home and everything went smoothly. That's good that you and your partner have both got some time off to process everything. Get plenty of rest x

sigh I honestly can’t believe it. Booked a private scan today as a bit of reassurance and they confirmed another loss. Missed miscarriage at 7wks3 and I’m supposed to be 9w5. Absolutely heartbroken. Feel like we could have had a full rugby team by now 😔 Need to ring EPAU tomorrow which will be fun as mine are notoriously very difficult to get hold of. Been 10 years since the loss that ended my first relationship and still no living children 💔 at almost 37 I feel like I just have to accept I’m going to be childless. Feeling very very sad.

I’m so so sorry to read this, sending you so much love ♥️ I know there’s nothing I can say that will help with the heartbreak but I totally understand the fear of it never happening. That’s pretty much exactly where I’m at right now. I’m feeling very sad (and rather bitter if I’m being honest) too and have pretty much cried none stop since lunchtime. I hope you’ve got plenty of support around you. Here if you want to chat xx

Life is being incredibly cruel to you @feelingalittlehorseand I'm so sorry that you're going through this experience again.

I hope you're able to get the right support from your EPU tomorrow. My local EPU isn't open at the weekend, but another hospital 10 miles away is 24/7, so I went there for my miscarriage as I’d had a private scan over Christmas and just wanted to speak to someone immediately. It may be worth looking at other hospitals if you’re close by to a few.

Sending you a big hug xx

@sapphirerubydiamondall the emotions, anger and bitterness especially are so valid right night. Sending you a big hug too xx

Oh god @feelingalittlehorse I’m so, so sorry to hear that. Please look after yourself, lean on those around you and honestly do whatever you need to do to get through. Sending so much love xx

Lots of love to the previous posters. Early pregnancy is awful after miscarriage. I had 2 MMC, discovered at 11 and 10 weeks, over 4 years of TTC before I had my DD who is now 7. I was absolute human wreckage the entire pregnancy, so nervous. Then I had ds (3) with no complications. I'm unexpectedly pregnant again (absolute joke, we've been married 12 years and basically TTC that whole time and have 2 kids, but said we'd call it a day in March when I turned 40, realised I was pregnant the day before my appointment in April to get the coil.😂)

I should currently be 8+1 but haven't had a scan yet, I really want to go and get one this week but DH is away and he's worried if it's bad news I shouldn't go alone. He's right but it means another week of limbo and the uncertainty is tough. My body just doesn't seem to recognise when a pregnancy isn't progressing so the fact that I haven't had a miscarriage yet doesn't mean much.

Thanks guys. I’m also feeling extremely angry and bitter. We are good people (or I hope we are!!! We try to be!) and just want a family of our own. It’s come so easy to those around us and it feels like our whole lives have just been in limbo. Each time I keep convincing myself “nooo, surely no one can be that unlucky” and yet there we are again.

@feelingalittlehorse angry and bitter are definitely normal feelings, it’s beyond unfair.

I wish there was anything any of us could say to help.

Hi @Swissmeringue, I’m sorry you’ve been through so much. The waiting is so hard, is there anyone else you’d be comfortable going with or does no one else know?

Thanks for the support! Nobody who lives nearby and would be free on a random weekday unfortunately. My best friend knows but she lives a couple of hours away and has kids/work of her own. My mum can't be told because she gets SO carried away, starts talking about names, buys little stashes of baby grows, lets ot slip to her friends, and then I have to deal with her disappointment on top of my own when it doesn't work out. Tbh I'm tempted to go alone. I know I'll be upset if it's bad news but I recognise that I'm incredibly fortunate to have 2 children already. There was a time I'd have been absolutely satisfied just with 1 because it was such a long hard road. I would LOVE a third, but equally have so much to be grateful for already that I think I'll be able to handle it.

How are you feeling?

@Swissmeringue absolutely fair enough, I think I’d feel the same as you and be tempted to go alone.

I’ve just started on Cyclogest and am a bit crampy which I’m trying not to overthink. My toddler is being very toddlery so I’m just knackered, while also aware that we are very lucky already!

Oh I'm so sorry to hear that! Life really is so unfair sometimes 😞

That's a shame that your EPAU isn't very good. I hope everything goes smoothly once you manage to get in touch with them.

Hi @Swissmeringue I'm sorry you've had a rough time too. I've had 2 MMC in the past too and have gone to most of the appointments alone due to lack of childcare. I have to say it really has been ok, the staff have always been incredibly kind to me when it's been bad news several times (multiple scans to confirm each time). I've always just been in touch with DH as soon as possible afterwards to keep him in the loop and then vent to a friend on the phone after if I feel like it. 8+1 is a good time for a definitive scan, I waited until around then for my first scan this time as I didn't want to have 2 or 3 scans to confirm any bad news. I hope it's good news for you this time.

Hi @Swissmeringue congratulations on your pregnancy! I hope your scan goes well whenever you decide to have one, I’ll keep everything crossed for you ☺️ x

Thank you everyone for your support 😔 I do really really appreciate it.

congratulations @Swissmeringue !! It’s so difficult when you want to get excited, isn’t? I will keep my fingers crossed for good news for you 🤞🤞💖 xxx

@ThatMintMember @ChasingRainbow5 how are you both getting on since starting the progesterone? X

Things have been going ok thanks for asking! Had a bit more spotting which is very triggering but luckily it's mostly brown so old blood. I'm nearly finished the progesterone as I'm 16 weeks tomorrow, it has been good to feel like I'm at least doing something to help. Got a scan booked for Tuesday to check on things, I am feeling a bit nervous.

How are you doing?

Glad to hear things are going okay! I hope your scan goes well on Tuesday- will be thinking of you ☺️

I’m just muddling on, had a not so good day today as my partner had plans so has been out this afternoon and I think being alone by myself without any distractions for the first time meant everything just hit me at once and I’ve been super teary. Hoping tomorrow will be a bit of a better day x

Thank you so much, I'll let you all know how the scan goes.

Oh bless you, it's totally ok to cry! Something i noticed when I had the surgery was what I'm assuming was a massive hormone crash around 6 days after, I just couldn't control my emotions that day and cried a lot. Just incase that happens to you! I also felt totally numb some days too. I think all variations are normal.

Many many years ago I was in your shoes. I paid for a scan at 6 weeks and that allayed my fears a lot. All worked out wonderfully.

Ok thanks, I'm glad I was prepared for the mess! Very tired and a bit crampy which I've read is normal. Just counting down to my next scan (two weeks tomorrow) which I guess will be how I am for a while.

Sorry to hear you had a rough day yesterday, the hormone crash is absolutely brutal and of course it's normal to feel all sorts of emotions. I hope today is a bit easier xx

Scan booked for tomorrow morning, should be 8+3 but I think I ovulated late so we shall see. Really not got a good feeling but at least I'll know one way or the other and can stop constantly squeezing my boobs to check they are still sore.....