Pregnancy after loss

[ChasingRainbow5]

Hi, I'm 4+4 after a loss at 6+5 in April. I don't want to join the 'due in January' thread yet as I joined the December one then had to bow out, but thought it might be nice to have a thread where anyone in a similar position could chat/vent? I can't see any recent similar threads, apols if I have missed.

I'm feeling a lot more nauseous than last time which I have read can be a positive sign, but obviously doesn't guarantee anything. Just trying to cling to any hope I can!

@ChasingRainbow5 oh that's interesting to hear about the bleeding you had. Tbh I read loads of stories on here about similar bleeding and the majority had good outcomes so fingers crossed things just calm down and the pregnancy just continues as normal like it seems to for a lot of other people🤞

@sapphirerubydiamond thanks for the tip! Can't say I'm looking forward to taking them but it'll only be for 2 weeks as need to stop at 16 weeks apparently. I really hope your scan tomorrow is good news, for me I've always gone in expecting the worst and anything else is a bonus! It won't change the outcome but it did help me cope a bit.

Welcome @feelingalittlehorse and congratulations on your pregnancy! Rant away! Weeks 8-12 are so hard to pass the time but keeping busy at least makes it go a little faster. I know what you mean about not feeling like you can talk to anyone about it, I've been more honest on here than with my friends and family as they truly don't understand what it feels like as they've not experienced loss.

It’s so so difficult, isn’t it?!? We are just so desperate to be parents - you never in a million years expect it to be this difficult 😩 My partner also is eternally optimistic- but that’s almost worse- he gets so excited and then I feel guilty when I see how disappointed he then gets.
I know what you mean about feeling like a bad person- this has actually turned me into someone I don’t recognise! I’m just so bitter and jealous - I just have to keep repeating “happy for them, sad for me”.
I haven’t had a date through yet- EPAU have just referred me back to the “normal” pathway unless I have any more issues, so waiting to hear from the midwives.

How far along are you now @sapphirerubydiamond ?

Thank you @ThatMintMember for your kind words- you are so right about it being difficult to open up in real life. I find that sometimes people are also often embarrassed or don’t know what to say and then I feel bad for putting them in that position. And also, yes, many of my friends just do not get it. I often get the “oh wel, at least you know you CAN get pregnant” which isn’t very helpful. ….

I’m around 6 weeks I think. It’s all a bit confusing dating wise though as I had my miscarriage in April and then we conceived again straight away without a period in between. I had a scan last Thursday where I thought I was 5w5d but the gestational sac was only measuring 5w1d which only adds to my worry as I’ve been testing positive since 3/5 so those dates don’t add up.

hopefully you get the date for your 12 week scan soon 🤞🏻 I’ve put off registering with the midwives in case I jinx things which is silly really! x

Nope- that is not silly at all in the slightest. This is like my reluctance to download The App. I downloaded the pregnancy app with my first and then got excited looking at it every day so I’m now banning myself from anything like that until the 20 week scan. Which sounds wildly far along, but I’m also scared I’ll jinx it!
Have you got another scan booked? I have all my fingers and toes crossed for you that the dates catch up 🤞🏻🤞🏻

Hey, I’ve been following the January thread so seen your posts, I’m so sorry you’re struggling.

Firstly absolutely no apology needed, I hope this can be a safe corner to vent about anything and everything!

Second I totally understand the feelings of jealousy, I’ve had them too. It’s horrible because it doesn’t feel nice or fair to those other people, but it’s not nice or fair that we lost our babies either so please give yourself grace 💕

Congratulations on your pregnancy @feelingalittlehorseI’m sorry to hear of your previous loss. I’m glad your early scans have showed no concerns.

It’s completely natural to feel jealous, I’m the only one of my friends to not conceive straight away and have a loss and I’ve felt incredibly bitter at times.

If it helps with reassurance on symptoms, I’m 18 weeks tomorrow and I’ve had next to no symptoms. I keep telling myself I’ve had it harder in other ways so maybe it’s just karma giving me an easy pregnancy now

Yes I’ve been the same on the apps too! Thank you, I’ve got a private scan tomorrow then I’m back at EPU Monday ☺️ x

Ahhh total wise word from @ChasingRainbow5 and @LPR16 - thank you so much guys!! I’m glad to hear you have been feeling well as well, @LPR16. I remember previously feeling a sick as a dog so I have full sympathies to those that do!

Good luck tomorrow @sapphirerubydiamond 💖 Am sending lots of positive vibes your way

Hope your scan goes ok tomorrow @sapphirerubydiamond

so relieved to have found this group where you all seem to understand the feelings I’ve been feeling x

Thank ladies I’ll let you all know how it goes!

very grateful for this group too, it’s so nice to chat to people in the same boat x

Scan didn’t go well unfortunately, the gestational sac has got smaller and no fetal pole or heartbeat. Going to stop the progesterone today and once that is out the system everything should pass x

Oh my love, I’m so very sorry @sapphirerubydiamondlife can be incredibly cruel at times.

Take care of yourself over the next couple of days. We’ll all be here if you need someone to offload to

@sapphirerubydiamond I’m really so sorry to hear your sad news 😔

As above, you must look after yourself as best you can, whatever that looks like. Sending lots of love and support 💐

Oh @sapphirerubydiamond I'm so so sorry to hear this.

Please take good care of yourself, lots of love xx

@sapphirerubydiamond I'm so sorry the scan wasn't good news. I hope this next part is as painless as possible for you.

Take care of yourself in whatever way feels right. We're all very much still here for you ❤️

@ChasingRainbow5 @LPR16 @ThatMintMember @feelingalittlehorse

thanks ladies. Just feeling very sad and disheartened. Once I could chalk up to bad luck but this just feels like there’s something more going on. Feeling like I’ve let everyone down again 🥲 hope you’re all doing okay! X

@sapphirerubydiamond you haven’t let anyone down love.

I know most places you have to have three losses before they investigate (which is wild IMO) but it’s worth asking the question, or looking into private testing (I already decided that’s what I’ll do if I have a second loss).

But take your time and look after yourself, most importantly.

@sapphirerubydiamond you definitely haven't let anyone down! One miscarriage is bad luck, I think two feels a lot more personal unfortunately :(

@ChasingRainbow5 the 3 losses rule for testing is beyond cruel. I wish they'd just let us test before we start trying to help avoid some of the heartbreak! So unfair when i can be something like a vitamin deficiency causing the issues.

You haven’t let anyone down @sapphirerubydiamondfrom everything you’ve told us you’ve done all the right things to give that baby a fighting chance, and couldn’t have done anymore. Which is why it’s so unfair you’re going through this. Try to be kind to yourself.

I agree with others that it’s worth you pushing for any tests or reasoning they can provide to you

Obviously you haven’t let anyone down @sapphirerubydiamond but feeling that is a total normal response as well- I felt embarrassed, as if people would judge me! Of course these emotions are not rational in the slightest but it doesn’t mean they aren’t a normal part of the grieving process. To be honest, I don’t think there is any normal anyway because it’s all just totally shit.

I know it gets bandied around on Mumsnet left right and centre, but I actually did find speaking to a therapist very helpful after finding one that suited me. It may be worth looking into when you are ready but I accept not for everyone. (This also made me feel like I was “doing” something as well).

Hope you are being taken care of this evening xx

I’ve started very light pink/brown spotting this morning. I think it’s the exact same day as last time, 6+3, however I also bled in the 6th week with my son and with a pregnancy many years ago that I chose not to keep. So I’m trying to stay positive until I have a reason not to.

I called EPAU and I’m booked for a scan on Wednesday. Son’s birthday celebrations today and tomorrow will hopefully keep my mind busy 🤞🏼🤞🏼

I’m glad EPU have got you in for a scan @ChasingRainbow5. I’ll keep my fingers crossed for you on Wednesday 🤞🏻 As you say, bleeding doesn’t necessarily mean the worst so definitely stay positive! I hope your son has a lovely birthday ☺️ x

Wishing you lots of luck for your scan on Wednesday @ChasingRainbow5! That's really good that you've got your sons birthday celebrations to keep you distracted.

Fingers crossed for Wednesday @ChasingRainbow5 🤞🤞 A very Happy Birthday to your son and hope he has enjoyed himself xx