Pregnancy after loss

[ChasingRainbow5]

Hi, I'm 4+4 after a loss at 6+5 in April. I don't want to join the 'due in January' thread yet as I joined the December one then had to bow out, but thought it might be nice to have a thread where anyone in a similar position could chat/vent? I can't see any recent similar threads, apols if I have missed.

I'm feeling a lot more nauseous than last time which I have read can be a positive sign, but obviously doesn't guarantee anything. Just trying to cling to any hope I can!

I haven’t self referred because I was worried about jinxing things too 😅 I think last time my appointment came through for 8 weeks which I thought was super early! I’m going to hold off till my next scan I think and take it from there. How are you feeling today @ChasingRainbow5?

@sapphirerubydiamond I'm feeling quite sick and my boobs are starting to hurt so I'm just hoping that's positive, I definitely feel worse than I did last time. Who knew I'd actually want to feel like crap 😅

How are you feeling after yesterday?

@ChasingRainbow5 I totally get it! I’m desperate to feel unwell 😂 Trying not to get my hopes up, I’m debating booking a private scan for next week just for a second opinion and to break up the wait but can’t decide whether it’ll make me feel better or worse. Meanwhile my partner is eternally optimistic like nothing I’ve ever seen 😬

@sapphirerubydiamond there's no right answer, it's so hard. My partner is the same as yours, I think they just don't know what else to do to support us bless them!

I arranged my booking in appointment for a few days after a scan at 8 weeks, I didn't want to go through the appointment only to find out there was no heartbeat afterwards. I'd recommend that if it's an option for you to check on things with a scan shortly beforehand. I know what you mean about not jinxing things too @ChasingRainbow5 , I feel really strange when discussing this pregnancy because I'm still expecting it not to last or for baby to have stopped developing already.

@ThatMintMember yeah I always say “if”, “would be” etc, it’s horrible. I’ve bled at the same stage in both successful and unsuccessful pregnancies so I’m expecting to be at EPU before my booking appointment, but if I don’t I’d definitely book a private scan first.

I’m sorry to hear about the losses you’ve all experienced in this chat. I’m currently pregnant quite quickly after a loss, my new due date is only 10 weeks behind my previous one. I’m in my second trimester now & whilst I’m starting to relax and feel like I can get excited, some days a hard and the anxiety before appointments is awful.

A previous miscarriage really does rob you of a positive pregnancy experience, and getting excited about seeing baby at scans.

If I can offer any advice, take each day (and hour) as it comes. If you’re able to get any early scans later in your first trimester that helped me, seeing a heartbeat at 9 weeks and knowing the statistics on a miscarriage at that stage, helped me focus on the higher probability baby would be okay.

Sending you all lots of hugs

@LPR16 congratulations on making it to the second trimester, sorry to hear there’s still some anxiety. It’s probably quite naive of me to think it’ll ease off when I pass the point of my loss. My due date if I make it is only 6 weeks behind my previous one 😅

That is really good advice which will I’ll try to keep in mind x

Is anyone else having a hard time actually wanting to talk about the pregnancy? I nearly didn't go out with friends the other day as I'm showing now and didn't want to have to tell them or talk about it even though I'm 14 weeks now.

Another friend actually announced her pregnancy during the outing and I didn't say a word. I just felt like I didn't want to be part of her moment as her pregnancy might be successful and mine might not. I've been pregnant at the same time as about 5 friends across the miscarriages so I can't even think about getting excited that we're pregnant together.

I think I would have happily kept it to myself for ages but I look about 20 weeks pregnant already!

I’m sorry for your previous losses @ThatMintMemberI understand how you feel, I struggle when people are being excited for me and talking about it, cause there’s a voice in my head screaming “it may not even happen” and then I feel guilty for doubting our baby. It’s a vicious cycle some days.

Have you got an understanding friend or partner you can offload your worries too?

Yes luckily I have my husband who i can be really honest with and some good friends too.

I feel like you can't even start a bond with the baby when you don't feel like it's going to last. I'm currently struggling with clothes as I put off buying them and think I'll be a few steps behind with all baby prep too. Need to just accept it's looking quite likely it'll work out this time!

How many weeks are you?

@ThatMintMember I know a lot of people (myself included) who didn't really buy anything until after their 20 week scan so I don't necessarily think you'll be behind. I think it's most important you do what feels right to you.

I'm really glad your husband and close friends are so supportive and sorry that doesn't extend to others, I think people just can't understand if they haven't been through it.

@ThatMintMembertry not to worry about buying anything, you can do that when you’re ready. I imagine you’ll get a lot of gifts or second hand things from friends and family too.

I’m 17 weeks now, what about you? X

I'm 14 weeks now.

Bit of a scare this morning. Woke up to some bleeding and had to go to get checked out at the hospital. Thankfully baby appears to be ok as they did a scan and couldn't find any reason for the blood. I did need Anti D though as I'm O negative blood type. Back to being terrified again now though! Relief and fear all in one!

What a morning you’ve had @ThatMintMember, that must have been so scary. Glad everything’s been checked out and you’re both okay. Hope you’ve got your feet up this afternoon! Sending love x

Thank you! It's definitely been an emotional morning, I was positive I was having a miscarriage. Yes, taking it very easy this afternoon while my son is at nursery so it's a good opportunity!

I’m sorry you’ve had that experience this morning @ThatMintMemberso glad you’ve been able to get seen at the hospital quickly and the scan was looking ok. Have a relax this afternoon whilst you can x

Oh @ThatMintMember that must have been stressful, glad all is ok and hope you're managing to relax a bit now.

I'm sure I feel less sick today and have more energy so that's sending my mind into overdrive. I'm 5+5 and lost my last pregnancy between 6+5 - 7. It's my son's birthday next week so truly terrible timing if it's going to happen again.

@ChasingRainbow5our babies heartbeat stopped last time between 6+5 and 7. We had a private scan that said the heartbeat was low & then it had sadly stopped by the follow up two days later. I completely understand your worry, I spent three days at the same gestation panicking this time around and booked a private scan for 7+1 for reassurance. I hope you’re able to enjoy your sons birthday as a lovely distraction x

Hope you’re doing okay this morning @ThatMintMember x

@ChasingRainbow5 my symptoms have been very up and down too, just adds to the worry! Even worse when you’re around the same milestone as last time (I am too so solidarity!) x

Hope you’re doing well too @LPR16 ☺️ x

Unfortunately I had more bleeding so ended up back at the maternity assessment unit last night as they wanted to see me again to check on things. Again baby was fine on the scan and cervix is still closed. They did give some possible causes for the bleeding but nothing definitive and have prescribed progesterone to try and help support the pregnancy. It's all so worrying, I was terrified to get out of bed this morning incase it happened again but lukcily it wasn't anywhere near as much as yesterday (so far).

@ThatMintMember I know it’s practically impossible but try not to panic. I had two episodes of bleeding with my son, basically like two periods, and all was fine. When I bled with my miscarriage I wasn’t fazed at all until it got much heavier. So I’m expecting to bleed in the next week or so and it will be horrible not knowing which way it’s going!

@sapphirerubydiamond sorry you have the symptom stress too! How are you feeling generally? Is it tomorrow you have your next scan?

Oh bless you @ThatMintMember what a few days you’ve been having. You must be so worried. Glad baby was okay on the scan. I’ve been taking progesterone too (it’s very messy! Invest in some panty liners!) I’ve heard really good things about progesterone which is why I insisted on it this time so I hope it helps settle things for you x

@ChasingRainbow5 I’ve had a bit of nausea today and yesterday so hoping that’s a good sign! Private scan tomorrow morning then back at EPU next week. Trying not to stress too much but honestly my only experiences are bad news at scans so it’s hard to keep my hopes up. Can’t remember if I said but this will be our first x

Please can I join? I’m on the “due In January” thread but I’m just getting more and more anxious as we’ve not had a successful pregnancy yet 😔 I’m currently 8+1 and our last loss was last July, so it’s taken a while to get back to this stage. We’ve had two early scans due to a previous ectopic and now I’m trying to hold out until our 12 week scan as I’ve reminded myself it won’t change the outcome but I feel so worried.

It probably doesn’t help that three close friends have got pregnant since July and they’ve all sailed through - it sounds awful but I’m just so jealous that they’ve all got pregnant so easily and then been so causal about it- they are all enjoying their pregnancies and I remember being like that the first time too! I don’t have many symptoms this time either- which I should be grateful for I suppose, but again, not helping the anxiety.

Sorry for derailing with my rant, I just feel like I can’t talk to anyone in real life about this 😩

Welcome @feelingalittlehorse, I’ve seen you on the due in January thread 👋

It doesn’t sound awful at all, I totally get it. I keep feeling a bit bitter and jealous of people who just sail through without a care in the world or people who don’t do everything properly and still have a healthy baby at the end. I wish I could have that exciting experience where you can buy things and be happy and not worry 24/7. Then I feel like a terrible person for feeling like that!

We’ve not had a successful pregnancy yet either, my partner is eternally optimistic but I just constantly panic that it’ll never happen 😪 have you got the date for your 12 week scan yet? X