anyone else pregnant with loads of kids already?? feelin bit judged ngl

[Chattymum23]

hi all not sure if i should post this but here goes

i’m 8+4 with baby no.5 (all boys 😅) n tbh i feel like everyone thinks i’m a joke. haven’t even told half the fam cos i know what they’ll say. last time i told my mum i was preg she rolled her eyes n said “again?” 😔

i know it’s not ideal but it’s happened now n i just want to be happy bout it. i love my kids loads even if life’s a bit hectic

i’m knackered n got sickness bad but still doin school runs n sortin all the meals n tantrums. nursery called again yday bout my 4yo n i just cried in the loo after

anyone else got a biggish family n feel like ppl look down on you? not after a row just want to feel a bit less alone

Congratulations on your pregnancy but I’m surprised you are surprised that you’re being judged….unplanned, don’t live with the dad (same dad as the other 4?) and don’t work full time. I love a big family but yeah I’d be a bit 🙄

I’m sorry OP, but I fully agree with this. Having another child in your situation is just plain irresponsible and selfish. I’ll happily judge people who expect the taxpayer to pay for their excessive amount of kids all day long. Makes me feel a right fool working full time to support my only DD! Maybe I’ll just kick back, drop my hours in work, pop a few more out and rely on the government to support them..

I’m one of 5. My parents loved us dearly, however growing up in the 70’s without tax credits etc it was hard.
My Dad worked all the hours whilst Mum was a stay at home Mum.
We never had our own rooms which I struggled with and as one of the eldest I frequently got lumbered with babysitting which I hated.
Funnily enough it put me off having kids of my own.
My parents did their best but there was never the money for treats or other things teenagers had.

Congratulations!

The only opinion that matters is that of your kids and it sounds like you give them your all, if you feel capable of doing that with 5 then other peoples opinions really do not matter

Comments like this really fuck me off!! I have four boys and then had a girl and people just assume I was trying for a girl….no i just wanted a big family and would have been over the moon with another boy.

keep your judgement to yourself. People on this site are absolutely vile and seem to really enjoying making other people who clearly just need someone to talk to feel like shit.

op, it is your life and your decisions. Please don’t feel like you have to justify anything to the stuck up snobs on here with the “pefect” lives. Congratulations on your pregnancy. I hope it goes well 🫶🏼

It’s not necessarily deeply irresponsible. If someone is in a place to bring up the children (planned and unplanned) then it’s just fine.

It hadn’t occurred to me your children might have different fathers. Being married with 5 children in a stable home is quite different from a single mum having children without the Dad (s) living with his own family in order to claim more benefits. I don’t agree with the tax payer subsidising your irresponsible choices.

Congratulations!

When I was pregnant with my 4th, I didn't tell anyone til 21 weeks because I literally just couldn't face the 'another one' comments. I was happily married and we both worked and the others were well taken care of. People just always have a comment.

I'd have a think about whether you need to announce it to everyone, obviously if you want to go for it, but don't feel you need to if it's going to invite unwelcome opinions.

As my grandma always says "a baby is a blessing, however its packaged" ❤

She will only be able to claim UC for two children.

Tbf it doesn't sound like the OP is in that position. She has a part time job so no way is she managing on her own. My daughter would have loved a 3rd child but they stopped at 2 so as not to disadvantage their daughters. It ticks me off to read this irresponsible shite.

I'm so glad there are so many perfect people on here, who are happy to bully a pregnant woman online. Well done, I hope you all have a lovely weekend

Well yes if you think it would suit you more feel free. We need more babies tbh.

Mumsnet is just the place that reflects what people are thinking in real life but people will tell you the way they won't to your face. You know people are judging you, that's why you started the thread, but you were hoping to hear you were wrong. I'm sorry, but this is what happens when you make poor decisions, people will have opinions.

Exactly. We are relatively well off, but we stopped at 2, because we weighed up what was the responsible thing to do. Children cost a fortune, and we don’t rely on the state to subsidise us.

I see women like the OP through my work all the time. It frustrates and saddens me.

Can people not read or are they just deliberately cuntish?

OP clearly said:

'i just want to be happy bout it. i love my kids loads even if life’s a bit hectic'

Not one single hint of wanting a termination, weird ass mumsnet 'everyone should abort-ist' strike again.

OP wanted to know how to deal with ignorant people giving unasked for opinions on the size of her family and her fertility choices and what did she get? ignorant people giving unwanted opinions on the size of her family and her fertility choices.

OP I only have 3 kids (and suffered infertility, did IVF) but I would have had more, big families are wonderful. Yes some idiots judge but I just remember I dont WANT there life and wouldn't trade for it (in many cases it would be my actual nightmare) so why should their opinion on my life or family matter?

Honestly, I don't entirely blame them for judging. Five children is a lot and you don't sound as if you're very on top. You don't have to go through with this pregnancy. Think about the children you already have and of their quality of life.

I've got 5 and plenty people had things to say about it but at the end of the day it's none of their business.
Neighbours stopped talking to me after 3rd pregnancy. Everyone here has 2 kids and some of them do look down their nose, they think it's " common" or I've done it to get more benefits . I was lucky enough to be a sham though.

You are almost certainly right. It’s more the matter of principle that I was responding to.

Your poor boys 😢 this is not a good start in life

But it’s not horrible posters, it’s people who live in the real world, who know that a mother living alone with five children, and no visible father is living financially off the state, and cannot afford that many children.
Responsible working parents do not want to be subsidising another irresponsible parents offspring.
It’s great to have as many kids as you want but only if you can afford to finance them until they become responsible working adults themselves.

No, it wouldn’t suit me since I want to be able to support my own child instead of draining taxpayer funds and relying on the government to pay for my bad choices. Hope this helps 👍

No, I'm not, I could never afford it! Affording one, means having to continue in a demanding office job with a commute and is exhausting enough.

Perhaps I wasn't supporting other feckless individuals, I'd be able to afford it!

Well yes that's fine too obviously - not sure why you said you were going to then.

Oh bore off 😂 “your poor boys” what a ridiculous statement