anyone else pregnant with loads of kids already?? feelin bit judged ngl

[Chattymum23]

hi all not sure if i should post this but here goes

i’m 8+4 with baby no.5 (all boys 😅) n tbh i feel like everyone thinks i’m a joke. haven’t even told half the fam cos i know what they’ll say. last time i told my mum i was preg she rolled her eyes n said “again?” 😔

i know it’s not ideal but it’s happened now n i just want to be happy bout it. i love my kids loads even if life’s a bit hectic

i’m knackered n got sickness bad but still doin school runs n sortin all the meals n tantrums. nursery called again yday bout my 4yo n i just cried in the loo after

anyone else got a biggish family n feel like ppl look down on you? not after a row just want to feel a bit less alone

Do you want to be pregnant? Were you using contraception? At 8 weeks you have options, you're not just an incubator and you can choose to stop having kids. Is one more in the best interests of the kids you have now? Are you married - does your husband/partner work - and are you independently financially secure with a job?

Do you work?
I don’t know how anyone has the time or funds for 5 children, I’ll be honest. But you do you.

How old are you and what's your situation?

Honestly, the thing that sticks out in your post is ‘I know it’s not ideal but it’s happened now’ — so this pregnancy was unplanned? Or more than one? That sounds deeply irresponsible to me.

I think the key thing is if you’re managing the ones you have already well, and able to support them yourself. If you’re not managing, I can’t see why family would be concerned.

It’s easy to prevent pregnancy if you want to.

I have a friend with 5 kids and I don't judge her at all, although I wouldn't be able to handle it all!

However, they were all planned and they parents spaced them so they could look after them and be financially ok.

I would probably judge someone who kept having kids out of carelessness! But then, who's going to know the details?

Oh, and I realised I misread your post as yiu being eight months pregnant, not eight weeks. If the latter, you have the option to terminate, if this was an unplanned and unwanted pregnancy.

Well, I'm sorry the first two replies you had are also judgmental!

Congratulations on your pregnancy :) I am happy for you :)

Edited because I thought you were 8 weeks gone not 8 months so my comment wasn't relevant.

I think it all depends on the individuals circumstances. By saying “not ideal but it’s happened” kind of implies that it wasn’t what you wanted deep down. One of my friends has 4 kids and absolutely smashes being a mum, she had a really good supportive partner and a stable household. But if I knew someone with 4+ kids who didn’t have the most stable of homes, then I would probably be thinking why bring another child into this.

If you are happy to be pregnant then congratulations.

Do you rely on your family for a lot of support with the kids you already have? If not it’s irrelevant what they think. If so it’s still irrelevant to your family planning choices but don’t expect them to be thrilled. It sounds like it wasn’t planned and there are plenty of safe free options you can use to avoid having a 6th. Best of luck.

Congratulations! Babies bring their own joy. As long as you look after them and love them then ignore what anyone else says. It's your life and no one else's. If you don't want any more then ask your other half to get the snip, mine had it done and it's really not that bad at all apparently.

People are judgy as fuck. I’m not surprised that they are saying this. If it make you feel better when we were thinking of having one child I had several people say to my face that I was cruel for doing that to my son. So I don’t think that any number other than two doesn’t get a comment. But that doesn’t make it ok for them to say it. No answers other than to stop talk to those people which might not be viable.

Congratulations in your pregnancy!

Congratulations!!
I’m sorry people are unkind! I come from a large family (larger than yours). People are not nice sometimes. As a very young child I had people ask if my parents had a tv. If my parents were catholic. If we all had the same dad. People did stare if we went out for dinner together. I know people made comments to my mum. But she was able to return with a friendly and jokey attitude which often deflated them.

That was all tough.

But

I know we have a stronger bond than most siblings I know. We are all very close as adults and rely on each. Our family is extremely close and strong. None of us have gone on to have big families ourselves but there are still plenty of lovely cousins to hang out and get to know each other. I would never change how we grew up. I just wish people could be kinder.

Why are people judging you? Do you work, does your partner work, can you afford to have another? Are you coping with the children you have? If so, then ignore the comments. If not, then perhaps think about your options and what is best for your existing children.

Completely depends on your situation.

I know a family who have 5 dc and they are brilliant parents. Lovely kids. But they have the financial and emotional means to raise their dc without relying on others.

Have a look at the large family board or whatever it’s called. Much less judgmental and less likely to tell you that you have ‘choices’!

I don’t have a large family but don’t judge those who do! My friend has 7 children, I think she’s amazing rather than judging her!

I am sure you are a wonderful mother- uou clearly care about your children that is evident in your post. The fact you posted at all speaks volumes about how much you care.

I also have 5 children from 14-new born. My husband and I are very happy with our family right now and can't wait for the future. Lots of big family gathering, grand children etc

Do not let anyone else make you feel less than for your life choices. Time goes so fast and most of the people who yu feel judged by will not be around on 5-10 years. People come and go.
My mum adores all of my children but openly admits she could cope- that's fine it's my life I do not ask her for child care etc

My view is unless they pay for your life or look after your children they don't get an opinion (or I don't have to listen to it or care)
Enjoy your family- by the time baby 5 comes you will be too busy to take notice and care haha

Like others have said before me, if you don't feel this pregnancy is one you should continue with then there is no shame!

As long as you/their dad are supporting them, I don't see a problem.

Tell them your kids will be the tax payers who fund their state pensions so they should be pleased 😂

I suspect the OP is aware that abortions are available to women who want them.

Well I had four kids and yes after number two it was oh another one!! People I found were very judgemental after my second as if I had to ask permission and justify why!!!
My pregnancies were planned and I was delighted and I m sorry I didn't have a fifth but I felt I'd left it too late by then as in I felt I was too old! Otherwise believe me I would have!
Even my dad had a face on him like I'd committed a sin ffs but my mum was genuinely happy..tbh it did take away the joy at times I felt embarrassed to say I was pregnant and to say I was over the moon.

So my advice now is don't let anyone spoil your happiness ignore the judging I always think if you have nothing nice to say then keep your mouth shut!

Congratulations on your pregnancy it's hard going with a small family but believe me it's so worth it and I would go back in a heartbeat because it's part of your life that goes by so quickly.

If you and their father are financially, physically and emotionally supporting them entirely, then it's fine and though I couldn't manage 5, hats off to you if you can.
If you are relying on benefits to contribute, or your mum for childcare, then I can see why people are judgy. I am judging, let's be honest, if that is your situation. I can't understand why someone would have more children if you can't pay for the ones you've got or look after them.
One of the reasons we stuck at 2 is the wish to give support emotionally and physically to our existing children rather than stretching ourselves with more. Do you not feel you'd rather put more into the already born children?
Pregnancy in 2025, for most women in the UK, is a choice. It's easily and freely preventable with a wider range of contraception than ever, and terminations are free on NHS too, if needed. Please think carefully about your contraceptive options after this one is born - there doesn't need to be any more accidents.

didn’t expect to get grilled tbh 😔 i’m not stupid i know it’s a lot

yeah it wasn’t planned but not like i don’t care. i do. i always wanted a big family just didn’t think it’d be this soon again.

no i’m not married n no he don’t live here. i work part time cleanin round school runs. not rollin in it but kids have what they need.

i’m not sayin it’s easy n i’m not pretendin i’m some perfect mum but i love em n i’m doin my best. i came on here cos i feel low n just wanted to talk to someone not be told off like i’m 12

some ppl sayin i’ve got options – i know. it’s not that simple for everyone tho.

anyway thanks to the ones who was kind x

Congratulations on your pregnancy. I am from a family of five and it wasn’t a big deal back in the 60s and 70s. I always kind of admire bigger families but I never comment whether a friend has one child or 5. I didn’t meet my DH until I was 33 and have PCOS so was lucky to conceive at all, standard two children here. Are you married? Just for your own security it’s important.