anyone else pregnant with loads of kids already?? feelin bit judged ngl

[Chattymum23]

hi all not sure if i should post this but here goes

i’m 8+4 with baby no.5 (all boys 😅) n tbh i feel like everyone thinks i’m a joke. haven’t even told half the fam cos i know what they’ll say. last time i told my mum i was preg she rolled her eyes n said “again?” 😔

i know it’s not ideal but it’s happened now n i just want to be happy bout it. i love my kids loads even if life’s a bit hectic

i’m knackered n got sickness bad but still doin school runs n sortin all the meals n tantrums. nursery called again yday bout my 4yo n i just cried in the loo after

anyone else got a biggish family n feel like ppl look down on you? not after a row just want to feel a bit less alone

It sounds like she's earning barely anything and not coping with the kids she has, and they have no stable dad in their life. Did we read the same post?

Honing in on the crying in the toilet like 98% of people don't have moments of weakness. I know I sound like a broken record now but just because they're not married doesn't mean she's a single mum.

Not married, not living together - that's as good as single. If he's not good enough to marry or live with, he isn't good enough to parent your children - and certainly not 5. That's if they have the same dad, which I seriously doubt.
Quite how any parent of 5 would think running two houses for the fun of is a good use of money beats me.

"...being a loving mum to multiple children and still wanting more is admirable!"

In what way is it "admirable"?

Me and the other half lived separately from one another for years and had children together, it's not that uncommon, you can't just assume she's a single mum with different "baby daddies" I mean she could be but if she was single she would of just said. "We're not married and don't live together" still implies a relationship although obviously not an ideal 1950s picket fence one.

Anyway you can't convince me the thread didn't go this way because of the ops poor grammar, I knew the poor woman was in for a thrashing before I even read the comments 😩. Mumsnet is not a safe space for people with sub optimal grammar

Would people of assumed shes a dole dosser with kids by different daddies if the op had been better written? Probably not

It's not about being negative, it's about being honest that it's not a lifestyle anyone should be getting into, some of you on here are being so saccharine sweet about the situation.

Like the person who said in one comment to keep having as many kids as you want as long as you can fit them in to the house and feed them! Like it's that simple! Friends of ours have a daughter now in her 40's whose mental age is that of a two year old! Things like that change a situation drastically! I'm not negative, I'm a really good person and that's why I can't support irresponsibility!

No, the issue is that she accidentally gets pregnant, admits she can't cope with the kids she has, she doesn't live with dad and only works part time so no doubt needs benefits to help with all those kids! I had no issue with her spelling etc, it's the situation that's wrong! It doesn't matter how she words it, her situation isn't good and taxpayers get sick of funding it!

Agree. OP hasn't given enough details of her case but it certainly suggests she claims benefits. If this is a false assumption, please can the OP clarify?

Aside from this , yes we need more children. The problem is that the feckless are breeding, hence the underclass expands further causing the decay of society.

We basically need the feckless to stop and the tax payer to procreate. Eliminating housing benefit completely might stop the feckless, after all there is contraception!

Fair enough you're entitled to your opinion but you're not the only commentator on this thread and I do think the pile on was especially ruthless just because of the bad grammar.

According to the ai 52% of families in Britain receive some benefits the fact she has five kids is irrelevant because she won't get more for the third, fourth and fifth child. She also works part time so it's not like she's a complete lazy bum.

Her working part time around the kids school runs probably costs the taxpayer less money than someone working full-time and using government funded nursery places.

Why would you have kids with someone you didn't want to live with? What made you think that was a good idea? I can't think of any good reason for that set up - certainly not with 5 of them.
I'm not trying to convince you. Though clearly you're biased because you're not dissimilar to the OP, so to question her judgment is to question your own.

Not sure why this thread is still up or what posters think sticking the boot in is going to achieve as the Op hasn't been back since page two
Yes Op has made some very unwise choices but posters arguing amongst themselves isn't going to change anything

Well I was only 15 when I had my first (I'm prepared for the slating now 😂 I'll preface by saying all my children have the same dad and we both have jobs) so I can sympathise with the op getting nasty stares and comments and assumptions even though I don't have five children.
I don't think I'm similar to the op based on the little we know about her, five children is more than I could handle and she's shown a lot of restraint in leaving this thread on page two. Restraint that I don't have

Pretty unhelpful and over the top judgemental comment.

OMG what a kill joy you are. Do you realize you are suggesting what Hitler intended. Only embryos with an IQ of ??? would be allowed !

@NantescallingThat’s not quite what PP is saying though is it? It’s nothing to do with IQ, it’s concerned with how productive society is and how we can support a healthy society. Statistically, those with little to no education are breeding at much higher rate than those with better education. Having a better education does not mean you are a better person, but it does statistically mean you will be able to contribute to society and help stimulate the economy/ pay taxes. This becomes unbalanced when middle to high earners are paying a disproportionate amount of tax to support the unemployed/low earners who appear to be reproducing at a fast rate without being able to support this lifestyle. This is not a controversial opinion. It is simply a reality.

Two children were enough for me. I am lucky in that I have a girl and a boy. I don't know how one manages financial or has enough time to give the children the support they need with their school work. I was in a relationship for nearly 17 years. We didn't live together and he didn't want children.I went on the pill before we even had sex, when we did he always used a condom.

Bloody hell quite the profecy. You heard it here first folks 😂😂😂

There is the campaigning group 'Population Matters', which I support. David Attenborough is a member.

Not what I am suggesting at all. How would you stop this destructive cycle?

I understand this pregnancy just happened, but I hope that the dad helps you take care of his children even if he doesn't live with you? Anyway, congratulations, wishing you a healthy pregnancy and an easy delivery. None of my business of course, but maybe this is a good time to agree with your boyfriend on some form of contraception? I don't doubt you love your children, but yes, maybe 5 is a good number 😊

According to her other thread neither the father of 3 of them nor the father of the youngest bothered with Father’s Day as they are useless fathers and often in the pub. Her sons left upset and disappointed. Presumably the next baby has a different father. I imagine there will likely be a sixth child at some stage too.

Hopefully it's all made up

Agree must be made up no one would actually make such daft choices.

It’s not really a ‘lazy’ life though is it- 4 young children, working as a cleaner (hard work physically and low pay) whilst they are at school then having to look after four boys on a tight budget probably in a cramped space when off work.
Sounds exhausting and awful. Certainly not a brilliant life of luxury and lazing about.

I don’t really know what the answer is about preventing this. Clearly some people don’t feel life has much to offer beyond living this way. Yes we can all sit and judge but how many of us are from pretty comfortable and stable even privileged backgrounds? How can we be certain that we would fare better and not make similar choices if we had been brought up with the same opportunities/education/influences/stability/money. When you see people in situations like the OP it’s never those who had a lot of opportunity in the first place.

wow clearly you have never been through one, I meant that physically and often psychologically it’s not that easy. It’s also very painful and the experience effect’s and changes you for the rest of your life one way or another. But yes just pop a pill, easy.

I’m actually shocked at the comments on this thread and on Mumsnet in general. Women are the absolute worst at tearing each other to pieces. There are ways of getting your point across without being so nasty and rude. Women need to be supportive of each other not be so judgemental and awful 🙄