anyone else pregnant with loads of kids already?? feelin bit judged ngl

[Chattymum23]

hi all not sure if i should post this but here goes

i’m 8+4 with baby no.5 (all boys 😅) n tbh i feel like everyone thinks i’m a joke. haven’t even told half the fam cos i know what they’ll say. last time i told my mum i was preg she rolled her eyes n said “again?” 😔

i know it’s not ideal but it’s happened now n i just want to be happy bout it. i love my kids loads even if life’s a bit hectic

i’m knackered n got sickness bad but still doin school runs n sortin all the meals n tantrums. nursery called again yday bout my 4yo n i just cried in the loo after

anyone else got a biggish family n feel like ppl look down on you? not after a row just want to feel a bit less alone

My point exactly. I went back to uni when my son was two, got a post graduate degree. Instead of popping out more children, she could work on herself and give them a better future.

Absolutely this. And when you have two, they comment/judge on their sex, so...
We trully live in a society that has an unnatural contempt for children and, by extension, for mothers too. So it's in the air we breathe.
I do think you need to ensure a good enough parenting for all your children and that includes choosing the right father for them. But when they are already here, the goal must always be to be (and/or provide for them) their secure, protective, stable and loving start in life.
Feeling others' contempt for you is an awful experience: I hope you have (and find) more people in your life who love and support you.

The amount of class hate in this thread is the worst I've ever seen. I've reported it and I bloody hope MN take this down. Shame on all of you accusing OP and mocking her class and lifestyle.
I'm sorry you recieved this, OP: I wish you the best of luck, for you and all your children.

Yes but she doesn't have to stay pregnant. She has choices.

Yes it's hard to have an abortion. But she's a parent and needs to think of what's best for her existing kids. Splitting her meagre resources and attention one more way, with one more deadbeat dad on the scene, isn't it.

Exactly blue. I think some of the “be kind” posters encapsulate why our society has the problems it does. Nothing must be “judged”. Everything must be praised and fawned over. Even a single mother with few resources who by her own admission is already struggling with the children she has with useless multiple fathers having a fifth child getting “you go girl” and “every child’s a blessing”. Bet they would be utterly horrified if that was their daughter.

And no most women who have 1-3 children they can support and offer a stable home to don’t get negative comments from their friends and family whatever their “class”. You might want to think as to why this op is getting this reaction from her own network - the people that actually know her circumstances..

Believe me: I am the furthest away from a "be kind" person as it can get. For example, the things that have came to my mind while reading you could get me banned from the internet forever.

Which part of this “lifestyle” do you support?

Lovely, telling another woman what to do with her body because you don't approve of a life you don't have to live.

The OP can do what she likes with her body, as long as she doesn't expect the tax payer to have anything to do with it. Fair compromise?

It's her fifth child and when the two child cap on benefits was brought up posters were still keen to stick the boot in for a million other reasons, half of them made up and assumed.

Absolutely fair. As has been posted about 3 million times already, there are no increases in Universal Credit for a fifth child and there haven't been since 2017. I'm happy for her to have the £17.25 per week for Child Benefit, though I suspect you aren't.

Do you apply your no taxpayer funds to everything you don't approve of? And why do you get to dictate where taxes go, she's likely paying them too.

Are you saying she only receives £17.25 a week. Mi housing or UC?

That poster is saying it's £17.25 for the new child in child benefit a miniscule sum really, she will not get any more universal credit or child tax credit for having another child

£17.25 is nominal. It is housing etc that is the expense (if she receives that).

5 kids tend not to fit into a 1 bed flat. Not sure how a part time cleaner can afford a large property? Maybe she has an inheritance?

No I'm saying the only additional money she will receive from the state for having a 5th child is £17.25/week.

When my birth control failed with my last there was no question if we were going to keep it but i didnt tell anybody because i felt i would be judged that was 3 kids.

Her housing allowance if she receives one from Universal Credit, won't increase with the birth of this new child.

Are you saying she funds all her living expenses?

If she relies on the tax payer she isn't.

Are you being deliberately obtuse?

I have no idea what she funds because she hasn't given that information.

However, assuming she works part time as she said and has no other income, she will likely be claiming Universal Credit already. What I have now said on several occasions is THAT THIS WILL NOT INCREASE WITH THE BIRTH OF A FIFTH CHILD.

Unless you're suggesting she also aborts her existing four children, a little late in the game perhaps, then her financial reliance on the state has not increased with the upcoming birth of this child.

That is my only point, which is factual, and has now been reiterated on several occasions.

If benefits where removed and the can survive no problem. Crack on.

The advancement of medicine means we have a choice whether to procreate. Too many ignore contraception and don't make financial assessment regarding their future. Shame on anyone with that attitude.

*were

Benefits aren't being removed, from anyone thankfully. So that's not an issue.

Nice to see you've (finally) realised there's no increased burden to the tax payer so have now launched into contraceptives.

As this useful contribution to OPs life has probably run its course, perhaps you can run along to the local care home this afternoon and tell them they've all lived too long and have claimed too much in pensions. Cheer yourself up a bit.

How is it not increased expense to the tax payer?

5 people need more space than 1?
Water, energy, schooling, free school meals

Is a part time cleaner a net contributor?

Re your pension comment. Pension credit should be removed. Pensioners who have funded there retirement are not a drain.

Good spot. The system wouldn't let me change the typo