Due December 2024 - thread 3

[CatCaretaker]

Thread 3 - for those of us still waiting on our babies, and those whose babies have arrived safe and sound.

Previous thread:

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/pregnancy/5202240-due-december-2024-thread-2?page=40

Have you reached your due date yet?

You know first time my daughter was 12 days late and I remember at 41 weeks I felt physically really well and like I could keep going easily.

With DD2 I knew, I knew the day before she came, I said to my partner I'm sure she's going to be here in the next couple of days because I've really had enough now. I just felt it, instinctively. Contractions started the next morning. Even though at that point I was only 3 days past my date, EVERYONE thought I was going to be quite late again, my mum didn't even pick up on the fact I'd gone into labour, I messaged her to let her know I'd had the baby and she didn't see until she woke up haha

@Firsttimetrier It’s my due date today and will admit I had a little cry last night. Combination of frustration that DS1 was already born by this stage, as well as feeling terrified at the thought of an induction if I don’t start myself naturally.

Think I’ll ask midwife tomorrow for a sweep.

@RedRobyn2021 not gone past my due date yet, but not going to make it that far anyway as I have GD and want a VBAC, so have to deliver by 40 weeks. I’ve got an induction booked for the 2nd, with an “unplanned, planned” section as a back up if the induction doesn’t go well.

@MaybeBaby2024 I was offered a sweep yesterday but turned it down as I had back ache all day with lots of pressure, so thought things might pick up in the night. Regretting it now!
I think the frustration is that my son also came at 38+3 and now I’m 39+1 and even though it’s only a few days, I feel overdue, which is ridiculous!

@Firsttimetrier It is frustrating all the same. I definitely think it is more frustrating when you’ve had a baby before and they came earlier so you naturally expect to deliver the second around the same time.

I do have an induction booked for 41 weeks but really don’t want to have it if I can help it. Bad memories of being given the drip in my first labour to "speed things up" which was horrendously painful and intense. I had coped just fine with natural contractions before they started that.

@MaybeBaby2024 that’s my experience with the drip too, so I said I’ll have the dilapan rods and have my waters broken and if contractions don’t kick off with those, I’ll go for a section. I’d rather not have a section with a toddler, so hoping the rods will be successful at 40 weeks 🤞🏽

@Firsttimetrier What are the rods? I don’t think I’ve heard of those before.

Think my hospital starts with either the hormone pessary or a catheter and then the drip is a last resort.

Oh God I know C-section recovery would be difficult with a toddler, I don’t know about your DC, but mine still wants to be lifted all the time!

@Firsttimetrier if you contact your midwife she should be able to come to you to do a sweep? Mine offered that as i refused initially

You don't need to have an induction!

Do some reading and look at the statistics

Dr Sara Wickham has some fantastic resources, she's written 2 books on this topic

Inducing Labour and In her own time, I would definitely recommend the former before making that kind of choice

Personally it would take a lot for me to get an induction because of baby being late

@RedRobyn2021 I agreed to provisionally book an induction for 41 weeks at my last consultant appointment, thinking that there was no way I would actually get to that stage, but now the date is looming closer and I’m still pregnant I’m starting to freak out a bit.

I really, really don't want to be induced because can just see it spiralling into needing lots of other interventions again like last time.

Going to try my hardest to get things going naturally over the next few days. Haven’t had any sweeps yet so will ask for one tomorrow and see if that helps.

@MaybeBaby2024 they are a non-hormonal method which helps to gently dilate the cervix and from there, they can break your waters. I think very similar to the balloon method.

@Twinkletwinklelil I actually have no idea as I always see them in the hospital but maybe I’ll ring and ask!

I am 41 weeks tomorrow and no signs.... bump doesn't even look very dropped at all to be honest. I am going for another sweep tomorrow (last week I was not dilated at all).

Considering induction for 42 weeks.
But definitely going to do the reading that you said... Because I hear so many horror stories.
It's my first baby so this is all a bit new to me!

@CatCaretaker how exciting!! Hopefully you'll be holding your little one very soon!! Good luck hun!

@Twinkletwinklelil I feel stupid being so hard on my self when I'm only 17dayspp. But I just hate how I look. When I've got clothes on it doesn't even look bump like, I just look fat. I have heard of belts but I haven't got one. I struggle to see how it'd help tbh?? Xxx

@Lunamoon23 -

It is okay to feel like this. I feel disgusting at the moment.
As you say, you're only 17 days PP!

You have grown a literal miracle.
You're feeding a miracle.
You have forever to lose the weight.

Your uterus is still shrinking/ organs are still moving back in to place/ and you just had major surgery which leaves you swollen.

I am super proud of every single woman on this thread for growing and birthing babies. Especially you who was so frightened of hospitals.

Be proud of what you have just done! Xx

@Lunamoon23 i know, i cried for weeks and weeks every time i would shower and see my tummy!

the belt is supposed to help you get everything back in place, i do think ill get one because my waist took 18 months to return last time and i did a lot of research on how our rib cages expand/ how to get them back down.. loads of exercises you can do. There’s a PT on Instagram I follow she’s brill: https://www.instagram.com/docjenfitness?igsh=MWljMjhmdm5qd2lreg==

But don’t be too hard on yourself, your body has done the most incredible thing ♥️
im itching to exercise but know I can’t yet! It will all happen, these days won’t come back so try to enjoy and remember your body is incredible.
sending you love!!

Just cancel the induction, say no thank you

I had my first 12 days over at home in a pool, no intervention not even a sweep. These are choices. I know the way they speak to you can make you feel like you don't have one but you do, it's your body not there's and it's your baby. If they're not ready, they're not ready! You can have the birth that you want, how you feel matters.

It's ok for your baby to be "late" term is 37-42 weeks

I still think my DD1 came 12 days over because I was so stressed out the last 5 days because of the talk of inducing. It's so hard when it's your first as well because you're like, can I do this!? But I swear you can

I wish I was as confident about fighting for what I want as you @RedRobyn2021 lol.

some midwives and doctors do love to use the fear mongering tactics, making you feel like your baby will die if you don’t follow their advice. So it can be hard to go against doing what you’re told when you’re in a vulnerable state.

I’m with @RedRobyn2021 here. You have every right to say no to induction and anything else you don’t want (within medical reason).
the birth with my DS was horrendous, lack of patient choice, forced to have intervention etc. and that all resulted in investigations, apologies, findings of bad practice etc.
this time - new hospital, lengthy conversations and the best experience I could have asked for. They knew about the previous experience and that my biggest issue was lack of communication and understanding.

you HAVE to fight for yourself and ensure your birth partner will also do that when you’re in labour.

I know, I remember being 10 days over, they had checked my placenta it was all healthy and this consultant who didn't know me from Adam came up to me and played the dead baby card.

I was very angry after my daughter was born that they had treated and harassed me the way they had.

This whole good girl and do as your told culture we live in is so fucked up. You need to remember that one doctor may have one opinion whilst another an entirely different one, luck of the draw who's on shift! They aren't gods, they aren't all knowing. Like any job some are excellent and some aren't, it's up to you to look at the figures, read and access what YOU feel comfortable with. Not leaving your fate up to a random person who certainly does not know you or your body better than you do I can assure you.

I agree with it entirely depends who is on shift @RedRobyn2021. First consultant I saw about doing a VBAC was so supportive and helpful in planning my birth, but the second one (who I asked not to see again but had to see her twice) wasn’t as supportive and had less knowledge but was pushing me to have an induction at 38 weeks.

Lo and behold, I’m still pregnant at 39+3 and baby boy obviously isn’t ready to come out yet, and if I had accepted an induction earlier, good chance it would have ended up in an emergency section.
All checks look good so far, but happy to have an induction closer to my due date due to the GD. I’ve had to fight for this though with the second consultant.

Really hoping something will kick off soon. Another night with some contractions but dying off again 😭

Very much feeling empowered by you all ❤️
I have a sweep today (I hope it can be done!!) and will be firm in my wishes!!
Thank you 🙏🏼

Hear hear @RedRobyn2021 well said 👏 it's wild that the nhs talks about patient centred care when half the time they're pushing inductions etc to suit their own hospital schedules, stats etc.

@LilyJessiegood luck I hope the sweep works for you and stick to your guns! I found BRAIN a useful framework to stand up for myself this time round.

Hope all the mums and babies who have been born are doing well and for those of you still pregnant - hang in there!!!

Girls baby is 2 weeks tomorrow and my breastfeeding has already failed. I am beyond devastated. It started really well, good latch, lots of colostrum, milk on day 3 and feeding well. Good weight at day 5 and lots of wet and dirty nappies. She is jaundiced (still, should have cleared up by now) which massively affected my supply last time and again this time as she is too sleepy and now isn't feeding. We've had to start topping up with formula over the weekend which I feel like is the beginning of the end. Last Thursday for some reason she just started refusing to latch altogether despite doing really well initially meaning lots of screaming and eventually over the weekend when she was clearly hungry even after feeding from me and I had to give her a bottle I feel that has caused massive nipple confusion and it's now a struggle to get her to latch at all.

My older daughter also massively acts up when she sees me feed her which is causing arguments between me and my husband because he feels we should just switch to formula once and for all. I'm angry at him because I asked him to promise to support me with breastfeeding but at the same time I understand he is watching his baby scream at the breast for hours and watching me get upset. I'm not willing to do the round the clock expressing as this led to me experiencing really bad PND last time when I did 24h expressing, breastfeeding, bottle feeding on a 3h cycle for 6 weeks and I promised myself I wouldn't put myself under that pressure again but I am so, so sad. I cry every time I have to follow up a feed with a bottle and I cried myself to sleep last night. I can't believe I have failed her even before she is two weeks old ☹️

I'm also angry at myself because I promised myself and my husband that I wouldn't put myself under so much pressure to feed this time but it started so well despite the c-section and jaundice just for it all to grind to a halt so suddenly when she refused to latch.

Agh. Needed to vent 😢

That is so exciting for you, things are warming up for sure. How many nights have you had contractions now? How regular were they?

It won't be long I bet

Good luck ♥️