Due December 2024 - thread 3

[CatCaretaker]

Thread 3 - for those of us still waiting on our babies, and those whose babies have arrived safe and sound.

Previous thread:

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/pregnancy/5202240-due-december-2024-thread-2?page=40

@HelterSkelter224

Yes I said to my partner I can't believe all the hoops you have to jump through to sterilise bottles, it is such a pain in the arse. I always imagined bottle feeding to be easy, I know now that is not true.

We're just going to keep doing the top ups until she's back to birth weight then stop, I think it might take us another couple of weeks at least tbh.

Im still really stumped because she's feeding so well and seems so well, I don't really know why she lost so much weight

DP took DD out for the day to have fun, they went to the beach, for ice cream and arcades, had a really lovely day. Then when they came home we had a cuddle and watched the old Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. The atmosphere was a lot better this evening thank goodness, hopefully things are on their way up now

Congratulations!

I'm so glad you had the birth you wanted 💕

Good luck @Firsttimetrier I hope it goes smoothly

Morning ladies
im struggling to get baby to lie down. Spending most the night and day holding her while she sleeps..! The first 3 weeks she was golden but now just won’t let us put her down.

totally exhausted on night 4 of holding all night.
😭

@Firsttimetrier How are you getting on?

Thanks all for the congratulations. This birth experience has been 100 times more positive than my first. This time I feel I have been listened to, and haven’t once felt patronised at all. It’s definitely helped my confidence.

@MaybeBaby2024 had a really positive night with lots of contractions that lasted for a few hours but then stopped when I tried to get some rest 😔

Had my bloody show this morning but contractions have been so irregular and inconsistent, so just waiting to go back in for 2pm for them to remove the rods and break my waters.

Hoping that will help and things will kick off again.

Trying to rest at home but we have tree surgeons on our street cutting down trees a few doors down. Their chainsaws are so loud, so it’s not relaxing at all 🥲

@Firsttimetrier That’s a good sign you’ve had your show and hopefully once your waters break things will ramp up.

When I got to hospital yesterday I was already dilated 6cm and was shocked, didn’t think I was that far on already going by the intensity of my contractions. So you might be surprised when they examine you, could be more going on than you realise.

Fingers crossed for you you’ll have your baby by tonight.

@MaybeBaby2024 congratulations of the arrival of your little one!! And I'm so pleased you had a positive birthing experience. ❤️

@Firsttimetrier sounds like things are moving in the right direction, fingers crossed and good luck to you!! 🤞🏼

Sorry for the delayed reply.. life with a newborn is hetic! I'm feeling much better than I did the other day, that day I quite literally didn't stop crying. We even went out for the first time the 3 of us to a light display that evening and I was crying the whole car journey there because I was sad I was sad on our first outing 😂 once I was out, I felt 100% better.
I do have my moments of just feeling hopeless and the feeling of loosing one's sense of self because it feels like you don't get a minute to think or care for you. But I know that's normal, and is something I'll learn to adjust and adapt too. It's very early days and I'm still very much finding my feet. I'm lucky if some days I've showered before 3pm or even got out of my PJs for the day! But, one day at a time. DH is back to work a week today, and i am dreading it. Being alone and navigating it all. But again, one day at a time. My mum has Tuesdays and Thursdays off so I'm going to reel her in to doing something productive on those days so I don't get to the end of the weeks and feel completely lost.
He's feeding really well, nighttime can be abit of a struggle, some nights are great and he'll wake twice, others it's 4-5 times. And he's currently got an awful nappy rash which I'm trying to get ontop of, which has started to bleed dispite applying barrier cream etc. although, he poo's ALOT. So I'm changing his nappies so often, and wiping and cleaning. I'm going to try him without a nappy on this afternoon for an hour and try that a couple times a day to see if it helps clear it up.

But if anyone has any words of wisdom throw them my way!
He's not fussy over it, doesn't cry when I'm wiping his bum or anything, it doesn't appear to be bothering him all that much. But of course I want to get it cleared up. (We're using pampers nappies and a combo of wipes and cotton wool) x

@Lunamoon23 sounds like you’re doing a great job.
def reel your mom in, it’ll make you feel so much better.

the hormones are wreaking havoc lol. I feel the same!!

regarding nappy rash.. weleda nappy cream is amazing, we use that every day and DS is ove r2 never had a rash since we switched to it. He had nappy rash once and we used that and the sudocrem care and protect set with the repair cream. Then weleda eversince- it’s a lifesaver. Amazon do a subscribe and save option too.

is baby going down for bedtime? My little girl won’t now and I haven’t slept well in 4 nights really struggling now.

Agh we're the same over here. Bordering on dangerous as I keep drifting off at night with her in my arms 😭 I woke up one night and she was in her sleeping bag lying on the bed beside me 😱😱😱 I couldn't even remember bringing her into the bed!!!

I use a sling for daytime and she goes down pretty well in the sleepyhead thing but I know they aren't safe for sleep. She HATES the next to me cot. Total shock to the system as her big sister was a little angel when it came to sleep - people always warned us that was a fluke lol

@Firsttimetrier -
How're you getting on? Hope you're progressing/ with your baby now!

I had my bloody show yesterday morning at 3 am, and have been having contractions every 10 or so mins since... (So for 24 hours now!!)
I was due to be induced on friday (as I'll be 42 weeks monday)...

I opted for a balloon catheter as a form of induction, which came out a few hours after being put in, which was positive (praise for gas and air for that one!!) and my last VE showed I am a "good" 2 cm dilated.

Just been told labour ward is busy so they're going to continue to monitor. So far my contractions are from me... if they don't ramp up I'll look to do pessary.

There is a poor lady in the bed next to me who has been in for three days and she is really fed up.

Come on baby!!!

Another mum told me about this and it works really well, my daughter wasn't letting me put her down either

We have a cot attached to our bed, but you could do this bed sharing as well

So I cradle hold DD until she's asleep then whilst holding her I kind of lay down still cradle holding her on top of the mattress, then I put her legs down, still holding the back of her neck in the crook of my arm. When she's settled with that I will slowly lay her head down until my arm is touching the top of her head.

You could move away at this point if you want or I've been sleeping in the c curl with her like this, we've slept really really well. I've had to wake her to be fed she's been so content!

It's such a relief to put her down and sleep

Alternately you could look at safe chest sleeping, if you go on the cosleepy website there is advice on there

It is so hard, sending lots of luck getting her down and getting some sleep

It sounds like your body is ramping up to me

My waters didn't go with either of my girls until right before the head came out, so don't worry if yours don't, it doesn't mean they won't

If your body says rest do it, you'll need all the energy you can get when your in the throws x

@HelterSkelter224

Take a look at the co sleepy website

I did something similar with DD1 i fell asleep sat up feeding her in bed, woke up and she had rolled off the feeding pillow face first on the bed. I didn't even know you could safely co-sleep until she was 4 months old and it was truly 4 months of utter hell and sleep deprivation

Even if you don't really want to co sleep it's well worth knowing how to make everything safe so if you fall asleep baby is safe. Most co-sleeping accidents occur in unsafe sleep set ups, so like on the sofa for example

@Lunamoon23

Sounds like you're doing really well.

Have you looked to see if there are any baby massage classes near you? They're really lovely and it gets you out talking to other women.

When DD1 was a bit older I started taking her to baby music class, baby classes are usually only on during term time so I took her for one when she was 4 months old and then came back after the summer when she was 7 months for weekly classes and she loved them. We ended up going until she was 3. We made friends there (although it was slow going making friends) even if we hadn't though it was so lovely to go out and talk to other women and it started us off with a weekly routine. I then started taking her to playgroups as well, you know the kind at village halls? Met lots of other parents (mostly mothers) and would go weekly with her to these. They're usually on a morning.

I found these things to be great for her social development and I've since read they're great for them developing language skills, which makes sense as when she started preschool at 3 her teachers are always telling me how fantastic she is at speaking and articulating herself and her feelings. More than that though, getting out and having a routine helped me enormously. It can be lonely and when you're with other parents, they get it because they're in the trenches as well.

With the nappy rash, my only advice would be to dry his bum and the nooks and crannies before closing the nappy up. I use soft baby flannels. When things are damp they can get sore. It's good he's not bothered about it! Makes it easier to manage.

I've also heard from other parents cloth nappies are really good for avoiding nappy rash, but I've never had the confidence to use them tbh!

@HelterSkelter224 @Twinkletwinklelil -

Thinking of you both ❤️
You got this mamas!!

I am useless at advice as I'm a first time mum, but all I can say is be kind to yourselves xxx

@Lunamoon23 This doesn't come from experience because little girl will only be 5 days at 7:30am, and we haven't had nappy rash issues yet, but midwife told us not to use wipes at all are they're drying. Just use water and cotton wool, which we've been doing.

Thanks for the messages all.

Unfortunately, had a very dramatic delivery which has resulted in a stint in NICU, but things are looking more positive.

Please skip if you are still waiting for baby to arrive and don’t want to read all the details!

Baby experienced multiple drops in his heart rate immediately after having my waters broken at 4pm.
Was quickly advised by a room of doctors that a VBAC wasn’t wise and got quickly prepped for theatre.
During the prep, he had massive drops again and suddenly became a category 1 emergency and he was here by 6pm.
I was able to have some skin to skin and do one feed whilst being stitched up and on the recovery ward and he’s good a great latch.

He was admitted to NICU by 7.30pm for brain tests and heart monitoring for 7 hours but got the positive news both have come back normal!
I was halfway through googling what lack of oxygen could do (never do this) and was mentally prepping myself for negative news when we received the call to confirm.

He has to stay in NICU for a little while longer as his blood sugars are a little high, but they will come and get us to feed.

Once his sugars are stabilised, he can join us on the postnatal ward and we should hopefully be allowed home within 36 hours once we get some other test results back, which will find out why he reacted this way to labour.

Feeling a lot more positive about everything, but couldn’t stop being sick from anxiety (and the section drugs) for several hours.

Honestly, absolutely nothing but positive words for the NHS and the midwives we have dealt with so far, they’ve been amazing.

Oh @Firsttimetrier that sounds so traumatic.
So sorry you had to go through that! But I’m so glad baby is doing well ♥️
Sending love and hope it all continues to be positive for you both now.

one piece of advice is that you definitely need to review the paperwork they send you home with. My first baby’s birth was so traumatic and they left out so many details - I didn’t know until a year later at my debrief that 1, they lied in the notes (saying I had ultrasounds etc) and 2, that baby’s heart was dropping - for me having the facts were important so if there ever were complications the notes were correct!
have it all documented so if you do need further help it’s all there.

get some rest xx

Thank you @Twinkletwinklelil, that’s great advice and will do that. I actually had something similar with DS1, I didn’t realise until my debrief that a lot of the issue was due to his position.

All quite traumatic but feeling a lot better now we have positive news, but definitely going to monitor how I process everything.
DH has been in a state of shock and anxiety, so need to make sure he’s also processing everything as well as he’s trying hard to hold it all together.

@Firsttimetrier I'm so so sorry how awful for you. Do the doctors know why this happened? Was it because of the induction?

Sending you lots of strength to get through this and that you'll be home with you beautiful baby soon.

@Firsttimetrier oh god that sounds horrific, the worry must have been unbearable. So glad baby is OK!

@Firsttimetrier
my dh was the same, I was offered birth reflection therapy/counselling.. and I spoke about how stressed and traumatised DH was, they offered it to him too! Might be worth looking into/asking.

you sound like a strong minded mama from your posts, but please make sure you take some time to care for yourself as well as DH- I know we can sometimes worry about everyone else and forget about ourselves, but you’ve been through it.. so allow yourself to heal

♥️

@Firsttimetrier Oh goodness I’m sorry things went that way, I’m sure it was terrifying for you both.

Glad baby is ok though ❤️

Good luck @LilyJessie hope all goes well ❤️