Pregnancy after loss part 2

[LER2023]

After the lovely Hopingrae had created such a wonderful thread.

I wanted to carry this on, as many more women need that added extra support.

Previous thread: https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/pregnancy/5016264-pregnancy-after-loss-support?page=1

Hope everyone can find some support on this thread x

@DaringlyDizzy that's really great news, how reassuring about your bloods. Hope the wait for your scan isn't too painful and that it brings positive news, we all know the waiting can be so hard!!

@OnNaturesCourse i’m so sorry to hear what you’re going through. I’ll be thinking of you tomorrow and have everything crossed it’s ok. Sending hugs x

Thanks guys @LER2023 you are so right. You all are. For context for those who don’t know me. I am 38. my darling son who is 3. Last year I lost a little girl at 16 weeks (we named her Lilah). Then exactly a year later we found out at 12 week scan baby had stopped growing at 8+4. All three of my pregnancies I have been super lucky and got pregnant the first time.

I’ve started taking coq10 and a bunch of other things and research suggests they take 3 months to work. So that’s another two months. By that time the genetics report will be back for the baby we just lost so pending on that I think that we will just start trying and not wait. I would also like to lose more weight so I can do that for the next couple of months.

thank you for helping me to see that it’s a hard decision but it is my decision to be made. Time is most definitely not on my side and I don’t have another 6 months to wait, that seems counterintuitive when I am hoping the coq10 will give me the eggs of a 20 year old 🤣🤣

I got my scan tomorrow should be 9+5 I'm convinced I've lost it, all I can hear in my mind is "no heartbeat". I honestly just can never be positive. I really don't want to go through this again x

Well i took one yesterday but i think i was being too enthusiastic, as it came back negative.
Today im 2 days late which is when i tested last time.
It says im 27 days into my cycle. So i dont really know😬

@Mamaxo I totally get where you're coming from, each time I go to a scan, I have myself convinced the same way. I just try to keep reminding myself that this pregnancy is new and completely different to the past ones. Hugs to you though, I know it's impossible to be 'positive' as others tell us to be.

Did you get your progesterone sorted with the GP?

Ps it anyone else itching to book yet another private scan? I had one at 9 weeks, I'm just over 10+1 and already want another one. 🙈

Got my 12 week scan date through for 12 weeks exactly 🤞 which is good but bow wondering that I should get a private to double check all is OK this week.

Hi @Hopingrae
Going ok. 17 and a bit weeks today and found out we are having two girls which was a surprise as I was convinced it was one of each! The sonographer wasn’t 100000% sure of one so maybe it might end up being a boy 😂 not that we care either way. Only Happy and healthy!
I’m still really struggling with anxiety, had 2 private scans and had a trip or two to the hospital because of it. Had the wildest pains which I’ve been assured is fine but just can’t quite get into a positive state yet.
it’s put on more as we have bought a few bits for the nursery as the cribs we wanted weren’t in stock for 2 months and my dad has been booked in to come and help out so we’ve ordered them to be here on time and a chest of drawers. But can’t help but feel I’ve jinxed it by getting some bits.

so exciting you’re having another boy and that you’ve got your scan coming up. Ours is 3 weeks away so just behind you ☺️

Hope everyone is doing ok!
I’ve been a bit absent from MN to try and help my anxiety, but feel like I’ve missed loads in the group so sorry for that!
🩷🩷

@T2024 thank you, my partner is super positive and I feel like I'm bringing him down but I honestly can't help it I have such anxiety and negativity with pregnancy and scans, yes I sorted that out k pick them out today, hope your doing okay xx

Brilliant, glad you got sorted with the progesterone. I know, my partner says he can't wait till 12 weeks so he can be happy about it aka I'm not being positive and too anxious.

It's just a form of protecting yourself after losses, I feel exactly the same xx

@T2024 100% I know it will hurt either way but to scared to get my hopes up xx

@T2024 have you had a date for your 12 week scan? Xx

Hi ladies, please may I join? I’ve been keeping an eye on this thread and am so happy I can finally join!

After a loss at 9 weeks in November 2023 we finally got our BFP on Tuesday at 8dpo, I’m now 12dpo and the line is progressing nicely! Experiencing pregnancy after a loss is a completely different experience to my first pregnancy that progressed perfectly and resulted in our now almost 3yo little girl so it’s comforting to have a thread of ladies who know exactly how I’m feeling 🥰 hoping this little one sticks 🤞

sorry to read of those who have had another loss or are experiencing spotting/bleeding, it’s such an anxious time. ♥️

After my second set of bloods I am so pleased to say they have gone from 880 to 2200. Scan tomorrow and another in two weeks for heartbeat.

Its weird - I feel SO happy but also like im gaslighting myself and being daft and ofc its not going to lead to a healthy baby. After so many losses I dont think ill ever truly believe it until its too big to ignore - as in third trimester.

I dont know, so happy but so anxious.

@Mamaxo really hope all is fine with your scan. Completely get the nerves. It's just horrible. Deep breathing 💕

@DaringlyDizzy great news about the bloods and nice to have some scans booked in! Happy but anxious sums it up very well! One day at a time and you will get there! 💗

@mamataylor welcome and congratulations on your BFP! 🥰 Hopefully this little rainbow bean progresses nicely for you. It is SOooo lovely to be on a thread with women who get the ups and downs of pregnancy after loss. How are you feeling at the moment? Do you think you'll be booking in any early scans etc?

@30somethingttc aw little girl twinnies 🥰 How cute! (Or possibly one of each... Haha time will tell!) I suddenly had a thought I should double check what we'd been told so at my last growth scan I asked the consultant and she confirmed he definitely is a little boy 😆

All feeling so much more real now! We've actually made a start on getting the nursery ready. Weirdly it still makes me a bit nervous but we're far too far on now to ignore it's happening so just trying to throw myself into it all! My DS who is 3 has just moved into his new Big Boy bedroom and loves it - he slept in his own bed all night! He talks about his baby brother all the time now too which is super cute... Just hope these last months all go well!

Thank you ♥️ I have everything crossed that this is finally it for us 🤞
I’m feeling ok, taking it one day at a time seems the best thing to do at the moment. I’m thinking an early scan at 7 weeks as we’re off on holiday when I’ll be 7+3 so want the reassurance that everything is the right place before we fly! I never had any early scans with my first but I was so naive to all that can happen so I definitely want one this time!

How exciting you’ve made a start on the nursery! 🥰 You must not have long left from what I’ve read in previous posts? How are you feeling? X

@mamataylor ah yes that's understandable wanting to know where you stand before you fly. I was the same with my first pregnancy. All so straightforward - thankfully as was lockdown - can't imagine going through loss at that time. Thank you, yes! Almost 29wks now - can't believe it! Feeling mostly excited and happy now which makes a nice change from the early pregnancy! 🥰

@Mamaxo you sound just like me and my husband keeps telling me to chill and it will be ok but I’m petrified. I have another whole week before my NHS scan at 13 weeks and haven’t had sickness since it stopped just over 9w. I have other symptoms but they could just be the hormones as it’s IVF.
I pray your scan is perfectly normal today 🙏
(Not religious but you know!)
@30somethingttc twins!!! Wow! That’s my dream, so happy for you. It will all be ok 😍
@T2024 I know what you mean, I had one every week for three weeks (6/7/8) but now I’ve frozen and I’m petrified to go back! Wish I had one at 10 now as I’m so scared for next Friday.
x

@Mamaxo 12 week scan on the 6th June, so in theory not long to wait but in first trimester, its ages! 🙈

@Zlcb I know what you mean, I'm so scared each time I book a scan but if I don't, I worry. It's such a difficult place to be in! Is your scan this Friday or following?

I'm half tempting holding out to the 12 weeks, but also want a scan to know. 🤦‍♀️

Thank you all for your kind words, glad I booked a scan for tomorrow as nhs scan isn't till June 20th (I'll be 13+4) but my daughter might have measles the drs 50/50 so looks like my husband be with my daughter and I be going to my scan alone.

@T2024 a week feels like a month lately don't it? For me I'm nearly 10 weeks and feel like I've known for 5 months 😂

@Mamaxo i hope your daughter is OK... ❤️

I had a scan at EPU today after spotting and cramping - baby is still measuring a week behind my dates (literally the only dates it can be lol) but they aren't concerned as baby has followed a good growth percentile from my scan at 6 weeks (where they said 5 weeks)

Heartbeat was good, and baby is starting to look more baby like instead of a blot on the screen.

No cause for bleeding or cramps, could possibly be the progesterone causing it, but they've noted threatened miscarriage because of the length of bleeding (had this with my second). I've to feet up and relax as much as possible between now and next scan... Slight eye roll at this as with a toddler it's near impossible. I guess it's lots of cosy days on the sofa and movie nights for a while.

@OnNaturesCourse oh this is fantastic news! 🥰 Very happy to hear it. Hope toddler allows at least some rest...!! Xx

@Mamaxo aw hope your little girl is ok. Will be thinking of you for scan tomorrow too. Hopefully be some nice reassurance for you. 💕