Page 9 | Pregnancy after loss part 2

LER2023 · 2024-05-09T07:51:50+00:00

After the lovely Hopingrae had created such a wonderful thread. I wanted to carry this on, as many more women need that added extra support. Previous thread: [[https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/pregnancy/5016264-pregnancy-after-loss-support?page=1 https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/pregnancy/5016264-pregnancy-after-loss-support?page=1]] Hope everyone can find some support on this thread x

Zlcb · 24/05/2024 16:23

@OnNaturesCourse OMG that’s fantastic news!!! I’m so relived and happy for you, feet up and enjoy it (well for the weekend when you have help at least!) 💕

mamataylor · 24/05/2024 17:45

SnookyPook · 24/05/2024 11:37

@mamataylor ah yes that's understandable wanting to know where you stand before you fly. I was the same with my first pregnancy. All so straightforward - thankfully as was lockdown - can't imagine going through loss at that time. Thank you, yes! Almost 29wks now - can't believe it! Feeling mostly excited and happy now which makes a nice change from the early pregnancy! 🥰

Not long left now! Hope it goes by quick for you 🥰

Carportforme · 24/05/2024 22:54

Hi ladies, hope you dont mind me joining you on here. Just got my BFP today after previous missed miscarriage found at 12 week scan late last year. I am so happy but also extremely nervous! Going to book a scan for 7/8 weeks rather than wait for 12 but that's the issue really. I feel like I am basically saying I want an earlier scan because the quicker I get the bad news the quicker I can move on. I am literally already expecting the worst! Providing this pregnancy doesnt turn chemical or naturally miscarry anyway, I need to learn to enjoy each day and not worry so very much but it is very hard.

Zlcb · 25/05/2024 05:07

@Carportforme we all know exactly how you feel. I had scans at 6, 7 and 8 weeks for the same reason. Then my symptoms went at 9 and I’ve been too scared to go back- sounds crazy but I’ve kind of frozen. NHS scan at 13 weeks next Friday. I’ve spoken to a nurse at the IVF clinic and she told me to try not to worry and it’s quite normal so fingers crossed!
Once you have experienced a loss you will think the worst, it’s completely natural. In fact at my midwife appointment she told me I’ll feel like this the whole way through. Having read this chat you realise everyone is still worried even closer to the end.
its a frustratingly slow process sadly so yes, ideally try and relax a bit but I feel bad saying that as I’ve not been very relaxed! Everyone keeps saying to me ‘what will be will be’ but they don’t know what we’ve been through, losing a baby is so tough and until someone has experienced it they won’t understand which isn’t their fault either. I guess what I’m trying to say is we are all hereand we know how you feel. So whenever you need a pick me up or are concerned over something just ask and usually someone has been through that symptom (I had three episodes of bleeding this time for example) so just jump on and ask for advice and we will try our best!
Hopefully this will be your time and everything will be just fine 💕

Mamaxo · 25/05/2024 05:54

@Zlcb perfectly put ❤️

Hopingrae · 25/05/2024 07:12

@30somethingttc aw how lovely to hear it's 2 little girls! Sorry to hear about your anxiety. It can be really tough at times can't it. I've definitely been experiencing similar, including the horrible jinxing feelings following certain things. It's our brains trying to protect us. Hope I've not caused your added worries adding you in to the thread. I'm really glad to hear things are still progressing for you and your 2 not so little beans xx

@mamataylor hey! I remember your for the TTC thread, so lovely you're joining us! Congratulations and wishing you a healthy and safe pregnancy as the days go by. Lots of us got early scans, I think ot can help a little bit with feeling like you've got control over something with a snapshot bit of knowledge. It might feel like a bit of a wait (can be so slow!) but really hope it brings reassurance.

@OnNaturesCourse that's great news about your scan, what a relief xx

@Mamaxo thinking of you today with your scan, praying you get a positive update today.

Hopingrae · 25/05/2024 07:14

@Carportforme welcome to the thread and congratulations on your new pregnancy! Lots of us will totally relate to how you feel. I was the same, I wanted the early scan for same reasons as you, I think it helps give us a little bit of a feeling of control in an otherwise largely uncontrollable situation. I really hope things are ok for you this time.

mamataylor · 25/05/2024 07:42

Hopingrae · 25/05/2024 07:12

@30somethingttc aw how lovely to hear it's 2 little girls! Sorry to hear about your anxiety. It can be really tough at times can't it. I've definitely been experiencing similar, including the horrible jinxing feelings following certain things. It's our brains trying to protect us. Hope I've not caused your added worries adding you in to the thread. I'm really glad to hear things are still progressing for you and your 2 not so little beans xx

@mamataylor hey! I remember your for the TTC thread, so lovely you're joining us! Congratulations and wishing you a healthy and safe pregnancy as the days go by. Lots of us got early scans, I think ot can help a little bit with feeling like you've got control over something with a snapshot bit of knowledge. It might feel like a bit of a wait (can be so slow!) but really hope it brings reassurance.

@OnNaturesCourse that's great news about your scan, what a relief xx

@Mamaxo thinking of you today with your scan, praying you get a positive update today.

Aw yes, I remember you too! How are you getting on?
I definitely think it’s the best thing for us to get one, at least we can go away on holiday and know where we are with everything xx

Mamaxo · 25/05/2024 10:48

Scan went well 10 weeks and strong heartbeat, can't believe it 🥹🥹🥹

Zlcb · 25/05/2024 11:14

The message I didn’t want to type. I had some bleeding this morning so rushed for a private scan which confirmed the worst. The heart had stopped around 8w4- the same day of my last scan ironically. She had sat there laughing with my relief saying to relax now as a strong heartbeat after 8 weeks was such a good sign. Today was supposed to be 12 weeks.
So that’s my second missed miscarriage and I’m 40 in November. Im so worried I’ll never become a mum. Completely heartbroken.
Thank you all for your support through this journey and I hope you all go on to have lovely healthy babies xx

Carportforme · 25/05/2024 12:07

Zlcb · 25/05/2024 05:07

@Carportforme we all know exactly how you feel. I had scans at 6, 7 and 8 weeks for the same reason. Then my symptoms went at 9 and I’ve been too scared to go back- sounds crazy but I’ve kind of frozen. NHS scan at 13 weeks next Friday. I’ve spoken to a nurse at the IVF clinic and she told me to try not to worry and it’s quite normal so fingers crossed!
Once you have experienced a loss you will think the worst, it’s completely natural. In fact at my midwife appointment she told me I’ll feel like this the whole way through. Having read this chat you realise everyone is still worried even closer to the end.
its a frustratingly slow process sadly so yes, ideally try and relax a bit but I feel bad saying that as I’ve not been very relaxed! Everyone keeps saying to me ‘what will be will be’ but they don’t know what we’ve been through, losing a baby is so tough and until someone has experienced it they won’t understand which isn’t their fault either. I guess what I’m trying to say is we are all hereand we know how you feel. So whenever you need a pick me up or are concerned over something just ask and usually someone has been through that symptom (I had three episodes of bleeding this time for example) so just jump on and ask for advice and we will try our best!
Hopefully this will be your time and everything will be just fine 💕

Thank you so much for your kind words. Really appreciate the support on here.

Carportforme · 25/05/2024 12:08

Hopingrae · 25/05/2024 07:14

@Carportforme welcome to the thread and congratulations on your new pregnancy! Lots of us will totally relate to how you feel. I was the same, I wanted the early scan for same reasons as you, I think it helps give us a little bit of a feeling of control in an otherwise largely uncontrollable situation. I really hope things are ok for you this time.

Thank you so much. Taking it a day at a time but hopefully...

Carportforme · 25/05/2024 12:10

Zlcb · 25/05/2024 11:14

The message I didn’t want to type. I had some bleeding this morning so rushed for a private scan which confirmed the worst. The heart had stopped around 8w4- the same day of my last scan ironically. She had sat there laughing with my relief saying to relax now as a strong heartbeat after 8 weeks was such a good sign. Today was supposed to be 12 weeks.
So that’s my second missed miscarriage and I’m 40 in November. Im so worried I’ll never become a mum. Completely heartbroken.
Thank you all for your support through this journey and I hope you all go on to have lovely healthy babies xx

Oh I am so very sorry, it is such awful news. Thinking of you.

Hopingrae · 25/05/2024 16:12

@Zlcb I'm so very sorry to hear your news and that it's happened again. It's so heartbreaking. Sending you love and strength.
I don't know if this might bring a little comfort or not, but just to share I had 2 MCs in a row (first spontaneous, second MMC) at 39 before this current pregnancy that's at 18 weeks. I hope there's light ahead for you too xx

Hopingrae · 25/05/2024 16:13

@Mamaxo ah that's great. What a huge relief for you, that's a great milestone to get to. Not long until your 12 week scan now either xx

Hopingrae · 25/05/2024 16:16

@mamataylor getting on well so far thanks, its been a long road! I'm 18 weeks tomorrow, we found out it's another little boy which was lovely to know. I had to have a NIPT after a high risk combined screening but NIPT came back very low risk which was reassuring. And a few weeks off work with awful nausea but that's subsided pretty much now. I hope your first few days and weeks pass peacefully, it can be such a tough time and the waiting for milestones can be painful in those first few weeks. Everything crossed for a positive outcome this time 🙏

T2024 · 25/05/2024 17:22

@Zlcb I'm so sorry to hear that, absolutely heartbreaking. xx

Mamaxo · 25/05/2024 17:25

@Zlcb so sorry to hear that ❤️❤️

SnookyPook · 25/05/2024 20:27

@Zlcb 😞 so very sorry to hear your news. Heartbroken for you. Sending you so much love.

SnookyPook · 25/05/2024 20:30

@Mamaxo so lovely to hear your good news 💗 Hope the relief can last a while for you.

@Carportforme welcome to the thread! The other welcoming comments have said it all really - we all get where you're coming from and you are very welcome to share anything you need on here. It's a very raw thread at times, especially when some are unfortunate enough to go through another loss - I think we all feel that pain right alongside them. But there is no other support like it as it really is a bit of a tough ride after loss and it's nice to share it with people who get it. 💕

mamataylor · 25/05/2024 21:49

Zlcb · 25/05/2024 11:14

The message I didn’t want to type. I had some bleeding this morning so rushed for a private scan which confirmed the worst. The heart had stopped around 8w4- the same day of my last scan ironically. She had sat there laughing with my relief saying to relax now as a strong heartbeat after 8 weeks was such a good sign. Today was supposed to be 12 weeks.
So that’s my second missed miscarriage and I’m 40 in November. Im so worried I’ll never become a mum. Completely heartbroken.
Thank you all for your support through this journey and I hope you all go on to have lovely healthy babies xx

I’m so sorry for your loss 💔 sending you so much love at this heartbreaking time x

mamataylor · 25/05/2024 21:52

Hopingrae · 25/05/2024 16:16

@mamataylor getting on well so far thanks, its been a long road! I'm 18 weeks tomorrow, we found out it's another little boy which was lovely to know. I had to have a NIPT after a high risk combined screening but NIPT came back very low risk which was reassuring. And a few weeks off work with awful nausea but that's subsided pretty much now. I hope your first few days and weeks pass peacefully, it can be such a tough time and the waiting for milestones can be painful in those first few weeks. Everything crossed for a positive outcome this time 🙏

Aw wow, 18 weeks! That’s fantastic 😍 so pleased to hear your screening came back low risk, that must have been such a worrying time for you. Are your work being good with regards to time off? The company I worked for at the time with my daughter were awful 🙃
thank you so much ♥️

Hopingrae · 26/05/2024 07:24

@mamataylor I work for the nhs so luckily I think they're generally pretty good with pregnancy related absence as they're used to it (I work in a team of about 40 women!)...my manager has been amazing which I'm very grateful for! I hope your company is better for you this time around!

mamataylor · 26/05/2024 07:33

Hopingrae · 26/05/2024 07:24

@mamataylor I work for the nhs so luckily I think they're generally pretty good with pregnancy related absence as they're used to it (I work in a team of about 40 women!)...my manager has been amazing which I'm very grateful for! I hope your company is better for you this time around!

aw thats so good! My old team were all men so you can imagine the lack of sympathy I got 😂 at least it’s a weight off your shoulders if you do need more time off.
the company I’m with now are fab - I work from home too which is perfect should any sickness strike 🙌

DaringlyDizzy · 26/05/2024 07:47

@Zlcb I am so sorry to hear this. It is heartbreaking and I hope you are surrounded by support. If it helps my aunt had many many miscarriages before she conceived twins and a singleton in her early forties and they are now happy, healthy and heading tinto secondary school soon. Sending you all the strength and love in the world.

An update regarding the scan - confirmed as an IUP! SO relieved. Back in two weeks to see heartbeat and I think I will relax after that. Atleast I hope I do. Not rushing things this time and just trying to enjoy being pregnant, even if it doesnt last long.