Pregnancy after loss part 2

[LER2023]

After the lovely Hopingrae had created such a wonderful thread.

I wanted to carry this on, as many more women need that added extra support.

Previous thread: https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/pregnancy/5016264-pregnancy-after-loss-support?page=1

Hope everyone can find some support on this thread x

@T2024 It’s good to hear you had a positive scan with little symptoms, hopefully we are both fine 🙏 just so hard.
@Mamaxo I may have to get another private scan this week. Waiting another 10 days seems so hard. Ok so also good to hear yours stopped around the same time, hopefully it’s just what can happen.
@DaringlyDizzy I’m so pleased for you! That’s great news ☺️

@Mamaxo I didn't start progesterone until 8wks which felt late to me but was on it until 16wks. I'd definitely chase with them as waiting until July to start it seems ridiculous. I always thought it was most needed in first trimester/until placenta fully takes over.

@DaringlyDizzy great news! ☺️

Had my booking in/blood appointment.

Did not like being back in that little room again, same room where the midwife couldn't find my DD heart rate at 16 weeks but told me "not to worry" three days before I found out she was in fact gone.

Been put on iron tablets - apparently now standard to be put on these three times a week to prevent issues?

Now have my blue folder too so it's definitely, scarily, feeling real now.

@OnNaturesCourse well done for getting that out the way. That must have been really tough being in the same room etc. No blue folder or iron tablets here! Must be a local Trust thing? Anyway, well done, another milestone crossed. 💕

I'm in Scotland so maybe slightly different

Thank you.

@SnookyPook how are you doing? I'm joining your club, we found out we're having little boy #2! ❤ have you had your follow up scans yet? Hope everything still progressing ok for your and little one. I've got my 20 week scan 2 weeks tomorrow. Can't believe I'm at this point.
@Sez281 @30somethingttc @bey hope you lovely ladies are all doing ok too and things still moving in the right direction x

@Hopingrae aw lovely! 🥰 Congratulations on little man no.2! 💙 Exciting to be getting close to your 20wk scan too! Almost half way!! All good here thanks. We've had two of our follow up scans now. He seems to be keeping to roughly 3rd centile but apart from being small he looks healthy and my placenta/blood flow/amniotic fluid levels etc all look good so fingers crossed he's just small but perfect!! I'm into the third trimester now which I still can't quite believe!! Definitely feeling more real now though. We've started getting the nursery ready 🥰 I am finding some anxieties creeping in about just getting through this last bit... It's nice to be at a point where viability stats are so hopeful etc but I'm just trying to keep calm. I think part of me still can't quite believe there will be a healthy baby coming home in the Summer and scared to get ahead of myself. But, one day at a time!!

I don’t know if this is a strange thing, but I wondered if any of you have put a card or gift in to EPU? I was so lucky to have such brilliant care through both losses and the beginning of this pregnancy and it must be such a hard job, and I feel like I want to mark my appreciation in some way, but I’m not sure what would be appropriate? I’ve got to 12+5 and had a good dating scan earlier this week, so unless anything goes wrong I won’t be back at EPU again (🤞)Also if you think this is totally weird please say so!

A lot of the time. Hospitals are so over run and busy, so maybe some coffees and teas and some biscuits will make their days witha. Nice card to say thank you for the support. Just an idea😊x

Edit: i also just want to add how lovely this idea really is too. Its so thoughtful! X

Hi ladies. I’m still reading and so happy for you all.

@Hopingrae a little boy!! So precious.

@Wise0wl that is such a lovely idea. A thank you really goes a long way in the NHS. On our daughters due date last year we went in and gave everyone who helped us a hand written thank you card and some treats. It made their day.

i am feeling deflated today. 1st day of my second period today. So I was all excited because it meant I could contact the misscarriage clinic. They are lovely.. the thing is I was told start to finish is 3 months, they have just told me that’s not the case it’s 6 months. Plus the 2 months I’ve just done, that’s 8 months before I can try again if I am under them. I just don’t know what to do. What would you all do?

Ive been told i cant try while waiting for them, so thats 3 month and then another 6 months while im under them, ive sat and said fuck that to my gp as well.
And said you really think if i wasnt so desperate to have a child i wouldnt have had 3 miscarriages so consecutively at such short notice and short periods of time. Theres no way am i waiting over a year to have a child and thats end of. Im not getting any younger and neither is my partner, my eggs wont still mature as well in a year or so. Im nearly 30!!
Im not about to take the chance. I'll keep going until someone listens to me about what i want. E.g progesterone, asprin, something to help, im sure i can ask around the hospital i work in to find out what more i could do to be able to have a baby. I dont see the point in waiting 9 months to try again when they could quite possibly find nothing wrong with me?
50% of couples find no issues with their fertility at the RMC.
So why should we not take the chance?

Thanks @LER2023 & @Nic2908 - coffees/teas and biscuits and a card seems like a good way to go!

@Nic2908 I’m so sorry you’re feeling deflated and it’s completely understandable, it’s hard when you have a timeframe in mind and then the goalposts shift isn’t it! This might be a silly question but do you have to stop TTC during the wait?

Yes apparently you cant try during the wait, because you need all your own hormones for the tests to be done. Getting pregnant will shift the hormones.

@Nic2908 that is frustrating - completely understand your dilemma. It's a tough call isn't it. Because if there is anything to find, you risk further loss if you plough on and will be pushing back the inevitable need for investigations even further. However, if it's just random, you could get pregnant again and be almost at term before you'd be seeing them.

I got super lucky and our 4th pregnancy after 3 losses in a row randomly stuck. Perhaps the fact my losses were all quite different and random plays a part as I guess it suggests more likely random bad luck rather than say, a specific condition causing loss at a particular stage of development each time. In my case, a MMC that had stopped developing at 7+5 (detected at 11+4), then a CP at 4+5 so had barely registered, then a MC at 7wks but I know from HCG monitoring and scans that the pregnancy never really developed.

So perhaps pattern of losses is worth considering? That and age... I think if I was under 33/34 with recurring losses I would maybe wait it out for the appointment as still time and would be preferable to get answers..? It's a tough call.

@Nic2908 that makes sense - but is so difficult. @SnookyPook has (as ever!) articulated it better than I could. It is a tough call.

I think it's a lovely idea and who doesn't like being appreciated? Agree tins of biscuits/boxes of chocs always go down well, along with a nice card. Xx

@SnookyPook that's great little man still tracking on the same line... consistent growth is great! And reassuring that you're other checks are looking good too. Wow, this trimester already. Such a journey you've been on to get here 🙏

@Wise0wl that's such a lovely idea to share thanks with epu. People can be quick to make complaints known but less so to say thank you, I'm sure their team would love a card and/or tea and biscuits as a thank you gesture! What a lovely thought.

@Nic2908 it's so tough when you had one date in your head and the goal post has shifted back. I really feel for you. I think I echo what @SnookyPook has said. I'm 40 in a couple of weeks so we just cracked on. My 3 losses were different from each other so I felt it was possibly age related and random bad luck. Is going private for investigations a possibility? I know some fertility clinics can do this. But obviously pricey.

@LER2023 hope you're doing ok and TTC is moving you forward ❤

@Hopingrae well to answer your question😄

Ive not seen it through just yet😅

Fearing I may be out, and my anxiety is coming in waves today. No one knows I'm pregnant yet aside from DH and he's stuck at work so I apologise I've come on here to vent..

I've had on and off very faint spotting for 3 days (think v v pale pink and brown) , yesterday the cramps started and they were BAD in the morning like breathing through them bad, and more period like as the day went out. Then they were the same ache like today with waves of more intense ones so I called EPU... They are concerned enough to get me in for a scan tomorrow (even when I explained my previous issue with child care and having to bring toddler with me... They are willing to bypass the "no children" rule with my symptoms)

I also called my midwife to ask what else I could take painkiller wise and kindly they sorted something. Then at the end of call she said "I do hope it turns out to be a better outcome tomorrow" and just the way she said it makes me feel like she doesn't think it will be.

I have looked at private scans today and none in my local area.

I'm so all over the place today. I feel like I'm in a vicious circle too because I'm anxious with the cramps and the more anxious I get the more tight my muscle are which could very likely be making the cramps worse. My back aches too.

Sorry to be a downer.

@Hopingrae so lovely of you to check in, thank you. I'm doing okay, I've finally been sharing the news and it's left me extremely anxious, feeling like what if I've jinxed something (silly I know) it feels like ages ago since the first scan so I just feel like anything could have happened since then. I have a midwife appointment in a couple of weeks so hoping she will listen the the heartbeat and I'll feel a bit more reassured.

congratulations on finding out you're having a little boy, so exciting! I have two boys, I think we're going to have a surprise with this baby as it will be the last one. That's brilliant you are so close to your 20 week scan.

Hi all!

@OnNaturesCourse
I am so sorry to hear about what you went through. The trauma is so hard to get past. How far along are you?

@LER2023 I am the same. After my ectopic in March I was referred to the RMC. It was in May and i was willing to wait but they pushed it to October and then November. So i TTCed and am now 5 weeks with this one. My thinking was either it will all be ok and Ill be pregnant in Nov OR this wont get so well but I have the appt booked in anyway.

I have had my second bloods today. Already so pleased as the 880 result Tuesday meant theres a chance this one was viable. I was so worried as it started the same - pain on right side, dizzy, stabbing pains, bleeding etc. Waiting for results and if OK theyll scan me next week. I also managed to get the progesterone wooo!! Just hope this one is in the uterus where its meant to be!!

@OnNaturesCourse so sorry to hear this - can absolutely see why you're feeling worried. That's really kind of EPU to relax their rule to get you in for a scan. Will your DH be able to go with you? He should be entitled time off work to attend a scan. 💕 I really hope things aren't as bleak as they seem. Sending you lots of love. X

I'm 10 weeks tomorrow, and no he won't... He does not get paid leave for that kind of thing, that's why I'll have DC with me. It's just so sore and on top of the usual pregnancy symptoms I'm miserable.

@OnNaturesCourse sorry you're going through this. I know how frightening it can be getting bad cramps and spotting. I hope epu can bring some clarity and pray it's positive news. I'm also glad they're letting you bring your kids with you as you've no alternative. Sending strength your way xx

@LER2023 oh wow. How long do you think you'll wait to test?! Everything crossed for you lovely.

@Bey glad you're doing ok. It feels like such a big milestone to tell people doesn't it. I was out with some work ladies last night and they were all talking about it and it was nice for a little bit but then left me feeling quite anxious. I hope you're midwife appointment is reassuring. I was worried about the 16 week check but was lovely to hear HB.