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Original poster

Pregnant but baby's dad won't let me have a termination

220 replies

OneHeartyScroller · 28/02/2024 23:03

Hi,
First time posting. Really need some advice!
I am currently very early on in pregnancy after failed contraception. I have spoken to the baby's dad about it and he is determined I am not to have a termination. I really don't think I am ready for a child at the moment, but he is determined I am going to have his child. Me and the dad are not together but he says he will support me and we can co-parent the child. Advice please??

OP posts:
crumblingschools · 28/02/2024 23:04

Do what you want to do, your body

Elmeux · 28/02/2024 23:07

Your body your choice, my love. He doesn't need to let you do anything x

LameBorzoi · 28/02/2024 23:07

Of course he does not get to tell you to have a baby you don't want. And I wouldn't count on him supporting you, either.

alwayscrashinginthesamecar1 · 28/02/2024 23:07

It isn't up to him. Your body, your choice.

justanothermanicmonday1 · 28/02/2024 23:08

Your body. your choice. And get far away from that man.

GrumpyPanda · 28/02/2024 23:08

He "won't let" you?!?

Tell him to fuck off and block him.

Tatonka · 28/02/2024 23:08

Unless he's willing to adopt the baby and raise the baby on his own full time, he has no say

MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 28/02/2024 23:08

Fuck all to do with him. Not his body. Do what you feel is the right thing for you.

Luminiiii · 28/02/2024 23:09

It’s all well and good him saying that but he could change his mind at the flip of a switch and you’d be stuck with a baby you didn’t want. Go with your gut and ignore him. He has no right over your body. Statistics show women are the single parent not the other way round.

MayThe4th · 28/02/2024 23:09

Your body your choice. I can understand that a man wouldn’t want to think of his child being aborted, but unfortunately for him that’s not something he has control over.

Ponderingwindow · 28/02/2024 23:09

He gets to express an opinion, but even if you are married, he does not get to decide. It is solely your decision.

Dery · 28/02/2024 23:09

@OneHeartyScroller - this is not his choice, it’s yours. Have an abortion if that is what you want to do.

Avatartar · 28/02/2024 23:09

Your body, your choice - if he’s not with you now, he never will be. You’re on your own, your future, your decision- talk to someone you trust

IHateLegDay · 28/02/2024 23:10

First off he literally has no control over your body so do whatever you want.

Secondly it's all good for him to say he'll coparent NOW but what happens when he decides a child doesn't fit into his life so he leaves you to raise the child you weren't ready for all by yourself?

MaggieFS · 28/02/2024 23:10

Your choice.

skmissty · 28/02/2024 23:10

Tell him you started your period.
Then discretely sort it. And never, ever see this man again.

Or yeah, tell him to go fuck himself. Your body, your choice.

BrightHarvestMoon · 28/02/2024 23:10

The fact he is demanding you keep it is a massive red flag. You want the termination, then get it. Then block this man from everything.

Doyoumind · 28/02/2024 23:10

You don't need his permission.

TwylaSands · 28/02/2024 23:11

If youre certain you want a termination, see your gp asap. Also tell them this man is harassing you and stop speaking to this man. He is nothing to you.

dimllaishebiaith · 28/02/2024 23:11

Your body your choice, I certainly wouldn't be wanting a baby with a man who thought it was up to him what decisions I made tbh

Its far to easy for him to disapear leaving you holding the baby

In fact if you search MN you will find threads from women who have been in similar positions where theoretical promises turn into nothing in reality

So only have a baby if you are prepared to be a single parent. Lets face it, he isnt prepared to raise the baby alone when you don't want it, its an easy step from forcing you to co parent a baby you didnt want to forcing you to sole parent a baby you didnt want.

GrumpyPanda · 28/02/2024 23:11

Tatonka · 28/02/2024 23:08

Unless he's willing to adopt the baby and raise the baby on his own full time, he has no say

He's not going to have the pregnancy transfered over to himself to carry to term, is he? So no say either way. OP's not his broodmare.

Manyandyoucanwalkover · 28/02/2024 23:11

He doesn’t actually get a say. Do what is right for you. Then move on, enjoy your life and never look back. 💐

SleepEatSnoozeRepeat · 28/02/2024 23:12

Get it sorted, tell him you were wrong, you miscarried, whatever. He is scum and has no rights over you. Block him everywhere, get on with your life.
He has NO SAY over anything.

HoppingPavlova · 28/02/2024 23:13

You can do whatever YOU WANT. If you want a termination, just go do it, you don’t need his permission and he can’t stop you. I take it you are in the UK, if not where are you?

I’d also block him on all communications. You don’t need such a person in your life, and maybe do some counselling as you seem to be letting him control you for some reason.

toastfiend · 28/02/2024 23:15

It's your body, it's not up to him. Do what you want to do, you don't need to engage with him any more on this.

If he's entitled enough to think he can dictate what you do with your body now, I cannot imagine how appalling he would be to co-parent with, nor do I think for the slightest minute that he will actually step up when reality bites and he realises what an impact a child will have on his life. Besides which, do you want to be tied to him for the next couple of decades? Honestly, if you don't want a baby then don't have one, chances are high that the responsibility for this child will fall on you.

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