'Pregnancy after Miscarriage - Latest support thread'

[tulipsunday]

Hi all new thread as the other one is about to max out.

For all those going through pregnancy after miscarriage/s. Come share your worries and celebrate your milestones with people who can relate to what you are going through 🥰

@sweetpotato29 with my daughter I heard the heartbeat too, but didn't this time at my 16 week scan, like @suz2285 said it was a pretty boron appointment, seemed almost pointless 🤷‍♀️🙈

@sweetpotato29 with you here on the anxiety. Less than a week after my 12 week scan and already worrying if everything is ok. As we told family and friends at the weekend I keep thinking of all the what ifs. Funnily enough I was handed a letter with my 16 week appointment at my scan last week and just assumed it would involve a scan, but there's no mention of it. I've emailed my midwife team to ask what to expect. I'm consultant-led so just assumed I'd get scans every 4 weeks to begin with but if not I'll have to book a private one.

@SparkleFly @sweetpotato29 with you on anxiety, after every early scan my DH was like "can you just not panic within 5 mins this time" cos I always was like yeah that was good but what about x y and z!

I do feel better the longer this pregnancy goes on, until i read something about late losses etc! it's a total minefield. @SparkleFly i felt horrifically anxious after telling all our families after the 12 week scan, that was the worst part for a good few weeks! Basically didn't tell anyone else at work or anything until 23 weeks, and still haven't posted it on social media or anything....

now i'm worrying about gestational diabetes, preeclampsia and needing an induction 😂

It's so difficult isn't it!! @suz2285 my husband has been saying the exact same to me! 😅 he doesn't seem to understand why I'm worried all the time and doesn't think it's healthy. Which it isn't I guess... but it's not like I can help it!

We've also been doing all the rounds since the 12 week scan, which has been lovely, but in the back of my mind I'm a bit like what if too... I just keep clinging onto the memory of the little baby moving around and being fine two weeks ago.

I feel like I may need to book another private scan though as not sure I can wait this long without knowing. I'm really not sure if my bump has started to show yet or not, my husband seems to think yes but I think it could just be bloating 😂 am still only 14 weeks today so know it is early for that... when did you all start showing on your firsts?

@sweetpotato29 I didn't show with my first until at least 5 months! Once I had a bump I did find it easier and then you're getting the kicks as well anyway.

This time I'm already showing, although I don't know if it's just my way of trying to excuse my cake belly 🙈😅

I really feel for everyone in the same boat with the anxiety, it takes the joy out of what should be an exciting time. I'm telling work tomorrow even though I kinda would prefer to leave it a bit longer. I work for a really small company and just feel that if anything does go wrong it'll be easier to be upfront about it, rather than like in January this year when I was just randomly 'ill' for a whole week and nobody knew why. My son had chicken pox as well so couldn't go to nursery, it was absolutely horrendous.

I heard back from the hospital that with consultant-led care you don't get the extra scans until 26/28 weeks, so it looks like I'll be going for at least one private scan.

Sending hugs to everyone, it's such a scary journey when you've had losses before.

@sweetpotato29 with my first I didn't have a proper little bump until around 20 weeks, I'm now 25 weeks and I still don't think I'm showing completely now, but I'm carrying quite high so that could be why!

@SparkleFly yeah I'm consultant led, and after my scan at 28 weeks they'll be every 2 weeks after that, to see how he's growing, it is so scary though. I can never see past the birth if that makes sense, I was the same with my daughter and now she's 7 years old!

@sweetpotato29 I took longer to show with my first pregnancy - when I put a post on my social media about it at 20wks some colleagues hadn't noticed I was pregnant. This time I have had a noticeable bump from earlier on.

Really sympathise with everyone experiencing anxiety it is horrible. Hang on in there I have found it has got easier since I can feel the baby moving.

@sweetpotato29 I def had a small bump at 14-15 but easily hidden! When I told people at work I was pregnant I think they thought I was telling them after the 12 week scan but I was 23 weeks then, so not a huge bump, now I'm almost 28 weeks and it's really popped now! 😂 but I still don't feel like I look massive compared to others! I feel massive though!

@SparkleFly good luck telling work, hope they are supportive 🥰

@tulipsunday definitely agree it's much easier once you can feel movements! I do not look forward to the early stages if we ever do this again 😂

@Brokenpancreas94 crazy to think some of us get zero scans after 20 weeks and then some get one every 2 weeks 😂

Nausea is very limited this morning so now I'm having a panic day. Hopefully it gets worse again later.

@TheBirdintheCave your nausea is prob gonna start easing soon anyway, how far are you now? X

@suz2285 Going by the last scan 9+6. With my son it lasted until 19 weeks though so I'd be terrified if it stopped now.

@TheBirdintheCave yeah mine def started to ease around 9-10 weeks, but everyone is different... try not to panic ❤️

@suz2285 yeah I know 🙈 it's crazy!

@TheBirdintheCave with my first I had no nausea, I had a bit of nausea this time around but mainly when I didn't eat! But it did start getting better around 10 weeks too!

Had my kidney and bladder scan tonight, all seems to be okay luckily...so that's one thing less to worry about. Got a sneak peak at baby too which was nice!
Hope everyone is doing okay xx

@Brokenpancreas94 Good to hear all is well! :)

I'm ok. Nausea got worse again which is good. I'm just getting more and more anxious building up to Saturday. I feel like our good luck is going to run out eventually.

@TheBirdintheCave that's good that the nausea ramped back up! I know what you mean in regard to good luck running out! But hopefully you'll be okay! ❤️

Hi! Can i join? I am about 10+3 weeks pregnant with our surprise rainbow baba after a missed miscarriage at 8 weeks in April. It was in a nutshell devastating as was a surprise baby and had just gotten used to the idea of being pregnant…. Me and hubby and kids even found it difficult and we agreed no more ‘surprises’ 🤦🏽‍♀️🤣 I am incredibly anxious and putting kn a brave front but almost feel detached from this baba without meaning to be?? Does that make sense? I don’t love this little life any less…just scared i guess. Scan is on 5th Nov but absolutely terrified of my body letting me down again …even though the morning sickness is awful and they say thats a good sign it was the same even though we’d lost the baby….

@Nushyboots welcome, of course you can join 😁Totally normal what you are describing, I didn't feel particularly attached to my baby this time until a lot later on, just waiting for something to go wrong, it was difficult, and I think completely understandable.

Have you had an early scan with this baby?

@TheBirdintheCave yey for nausea! Have you got a scan on Saturday?

Phew! Im not being mad then…i had an early reassurance scan at 6 weeks to see if was not an ectopic etc and little bubs was in correct place and had a heartbeat so first sigh of relief….hopefully after next two scans will feel a bit better but i know i wont relax till bubs is here

@suz2285 Yep. I'm so, so scared. Feels like it's one final hurdle to get over before I'm allowed to do my booking in appointment and 12 week scan like a 'normal' person. Having another 'not as sick' day so still in panic mode. I really can't imagine it being good news now.

@Nushyboots Welcome :)

@Nushyboots nope not mad, completely normal 😃totally know what you mean though, i don't think any of us relax until all is ok and baby is born! I'm not even sure i'll relax after that but it feels like a big hurdle anyway!

@TheBirdintheCave honestly, it'll likely be fine, I totally get the panic though I started to worry when my nausea was feeling slightly better, but it's normal for it to get better around this time, even if it wasn't the same last time! I found the anxiety before the scan's the worst in the early stages, got everything crossed for you!!

@suz2285 Well I ended up vomming as soon as I stood up so I guess I still feel sick after all. This is such a rollercoaster 😂

@TheBirdintheCave I remember the feeling well, I've got emetophobia but even I was glad of the nausea feeling! I was lucky to never have been actually sick though 🤞😂

@Nushyboots welcome and I hope we can be of some support to you. I've had 2 missed miscarriages with a healthy pregnancy in-between and am now 12+5 🥰 Told everyone at work yesterday but bizarrely couldn't help but feel like I was pretending to be pregnant...! I also feel like I've detached myself from it and don't think I'll relax until I am getting proper kicks.

@TheBirdintheCave erm glad you've been sick...?!?! 🤷‍♀️😂

I feel like I have more energy this week so of course now I'm stressing about not feeling so tired.

When did everyone else's exhaustion calm down? I'm past the 12 weeks but it still feels so early to have put the tiredness behind me.