August Due Date Crew (Thread 4)

[AnnieApple123]

Here’s a new thread for the upcoming new year.

I think we’ve got all due dates covered now but newbies are still of course most welcome. We’re a friendly, chatty bunch so do feel free to join in.

@Sjw30 @ChloeN it is SO awkward you’re right!! 🤣🤣

erm we’re pregnant?!?!

feels so weird I agree hahaha

Haha same, normally the first to recommend the jägers too 🤦🏻‍♀️ so I had to tell somebody.

Only 7 weeks in and I am really missing my Friday night wines too 🤣

@MinnieFirstTimeMum omg I know same …. So so much 🤣🤣🤣😭😭😭. August will just be enough time to have a few rosè in the sun I hope !!

@LMM91x its so awkward, you don’t want her to feel left out but also don’t want to upset her either! I always found pregnancy announcements really hard so I think no matter what way you tell people it will upset someone! You can’t really worry about it too much if not you’d never announce!

@ChloeN Yes exactly, you don’t want people to feel like you’re treading on eggshells around them. Inevitably it probably is going to be upsetting to some degree and there’s just no getting around that. There are two people I’ve been thinking a lot about how to tell as I know they’ve struggled.

As for whether my brother and his wife would be open about TTC, I just don’t know. They might, they might not. It could end up depending largely just on whether a suitable moment happened to arise in which to mention it.

It's so tricky navigating telling people struggling with fertility, isn't it? For this reason I won't be doing a big announcement on social media as some do. I've definitely found baby/pregnancy announcements difficult previously.

@sally16 can't believe your colleague told other people! I would never dream of doing that unless I'd been specifically asked to.

@LMM91x I've really been suffering with headaches the last few days too, I feel your pain. Hope you feel better soon.

Welcome @tropicalplaydoh. Sorry to hear your MH is suffering. If I'm honest with myself, I think mine is too, purely because of the rottenness of symptoms. Hoping both MH and symptoms will improve as I'm 11+2 now.

I have definitely been debating the whole social media announcement thing. My partner is keen to do it but during our fertility struggles I don’t think it hit the same seeing an announcement for him as it did me.

@AnnieApple123 I can’t believe how pregnant I look for 10 + 5 weeks. I didn’t show until around 18 weeks last time and even then no-one other than my husband could tell. My stomach has started sticking out from under my boobs like it does during pregnancy. It’s freaking me out a bit!

Potentially TMI, but does anyone else get cramps/backache after they have sex? I’d been too scared to do it after getting brown discharge post-sex a couple of weeks ago (which a scan proved to be fine). But had sex earlier today and have been having cramps and backache since. It’s stressing me out and making me nervous about the next time!

@DesertSnow I've actually never done a pregnancy announcement, for no real reason other than I kinda feel a weird almost superstition around it. Like I wouldn't ever want to announce a pregnancy then have to remove a post about it? Or leave it there and then never actually announce a baby? And just have people speculating about what happened. I'm not a big lover of social media generally anyway so maybe that's why. I do announce them when they're born, but that's because it's a real beautiful baby and I want to show off how gorgeous they are 😂

@LMM91x thats the stage everyone around me is at too and I almost know for a guarantee that quite a few friends are trying just now. I told everyone by text last time as we were never all together during Covid but during the months we were trying and getting nowhere I met up with my friend and her little girl a few times and actually thought before it ‘please don’t say you’re pregnant’.. I just don’t think I could have faked a reaction without looking half like ‘why is everyone pregnant except me?!’ so I now don’t want to put anyone else in that position but it’s so hard when it’s happy news and you should be able to tell people in person, it could be the last time for me. I’m thinking I will hang off after 12 weeks and hope that before 16/20 weeks my friend I see a lot tells me she’s pregnant so I can say ‘omg me too!’ 😂

@DesertSnow I was thinking this this time. I posted something last time on Facebook but I had just stepped into the ttc/baby world at that point and didn’t really have any idea of the amount of people who could be struggling. Even for the few months we weren’t getting pregnant I felt like I kept seeing people announcing pregnancies and people would announce them and I’d be thinking I tried that month and nothing happened, still silently trying here while other people are able to announce it to the world. That was nothing in the grand scheme of hurt involved in these things but it gave me just a tiny glimpse of how much pregnancy announcements are guaranteed to sting for a good few people on your Facebook 😕 It’s hard though because at the same time we do have to be able to celebrate good news without ruining it but it’s just such a hard one

@somuchtolearnabout i totally thought about this last time I was pregnant and worried that everyone would then know if something happened, I don’t think I even posted it til 20 weeks but was still worried

@tropicalplaydoh I'm so sorry you feel like your MH is suffering. The perinatal MH team sounds like a really shout. But I just wanted to say, quite a few of us have said the same as you and that the symptoms are making us feel low and miserable or even anxious, so you're really not alone. It's really tough to be pregnant and do everything else in life. I feel rotten alllllll the time, have spent half the weekend in bed and am finding work and parenting my 2 year old quite draining. I coped better than I thought I would last week, but then have really suffered for it this weekend. But it DOES get better. This is not forever 💛

@SnowL2021 I have had cramping after sex, it doesn’t last very long tbh. I think it can be normal but if it’s lasting a while and concerning you, is it worth asking your midwife? It made me nervous when it first happened too x

Oh just to add to my last post - no judgement at all if you are going to share via social media - it's a completely personal choice and as @BCxx it is important to celebrate good news! Just I won't be doing it for the reasons above. And also for the superstition that @somuchtolearnabout mentioned re. what if something happened and had to backtrack.

I hope I didn't sound judgy! Totally think everyone should do what works for them, as with pretty much everything to do with pregnancy. There's so much that is out of our control so it's important we can make the choices that are right for us, when we can.

@SnowL2021 I'll be honest DH and I haven't had sex since we found out I'm pregnant - he is totally down but I'm really scared about it, even though the NHS obviously says it's ok. I would have thought given everything that's happening down there a bit of cramping would be expected, but maybe check in with midwife?

Absolutely @DesertSnow! Pregnancy announcements can be hard for lots of people, for lots of reasons, but I don't think any pregnant woman would ever post an announcement celebrating a pregnancy with any intentions of malice. Like you say, it's exciting and they want to celebrate. Nobody knows what might have been going on behind closed doors, or how long it may have taken that woman to get to this point. I'd NEVER judge anyone for announcing their pregnancy! The same way some people like to find out the gender and others don't, different strokes for different folks and we're all here to lean on and support each other at the end of the day ❤️

Quite relieved to see this conversation about announcing pregnancies nd fertilty etx happening! It makes me feel much less like this is just happening to me haha!
I've told a select few people and it's been awkward! I told my best friend yesterday and she was thrilled and very excited. But I told my mum and sister at Xmas (because I only see them 3 times a year ish) and they were pleased but that was about it. When I questioned why nobody seemed too bothered they said "well its early days so we don't want to get too excited"....I understand that, because I've had 2 miscarriages but it also felt a bit like "you haven't got enough of a baby for us to be excited yet"...If that makes sense?

My SIL told me the other day that they had been trying for baby 2 for 13 months with no luck 😭 she was asking me about having another child and I was like "yeah we'd like to" but she then said "that would be the last thing you'd want right now though wouldn't it? With so much going on at work?" ....I was 8 weeks pregnant when she said that so she really has NO idea 😭 I'm dreading telling her. She had a very straightforward, non covid first pregnancy and fell pregnant immediately, whereas I had my first in lockdown and have had miscarriages either side, I tend to fall pregnant easily but I don't always keep them. We definitely all have our struggles when it comes to pregnancy and birth and parenting, but still....I have no idea how to tell her 😭

@DesertSnow i’m the same - so scared to DTD and now I feel like I’ve left it too long and will 100% need to wait until after the 12 werk scan at least now. I will just go into a spiral if it causes some old blood to shift etc. my OH is also going mad 🤣 i wish i’d done it straight away and not let myself get in my head about it!

Well said ladies re announcements! It’s a difficult one but certainly a personal choice. I personally haven’t decided yet but I’m also still waiting a date for my 12 week scan so that’s all I can think about at the moment 🤣.

@Createcomet I am in a similar situation with my best friend and telling her, they have been trying for over a year now. She knows what we went through but still very mindful of her feelings. I have decided when the time is right I will message her the news and not face to face, ensure she is at home not at work etc.

@Sjw30 same same same…. Have you got date for booking it ???

@Sjw30 booking in appt *

@DesertSnow I’ve not been a regular social media user for some years now. Since before my DS was conceived. So it’s never something I’ve ever considered doing. I think I’d feel uncomfortable making a big blanket announcement to so many people en masse. I’m aware of several people who’d likely find it hard to see and there are probably even more I’m not aware of. It feels preferable to tell the people who are genuine friends personally (even if not actually in person) so that you can tailor the announcement to them specifically.

That said, if you’re someone who posts very regularly about your personal life, I can see how it would be odd not to ever mention it at all.

Yeah that's what I'm thinking with SIL, that it would be kinder to message her when I know she's home with her Husband, rather than tell her face to face which might be hard for everyone.

@LMM91x Yes it’s not until the 17th now, it should have been this week but I was having some cramping and they referred me to the EPU which was the same time as my appt, and ofc the scan came first so that has rearranged. I’m going to be 11 weeks though so I’m concerned when the scan will happen! But tbh, I don’t know how it works in my area - If I would just get a letter or if the midwife books it at the appt.
Please tell me you have one booked now? 🙏