Pregant after miscarriage - support thread

[Nervousbuthopeful]

Hi everyone,

I'm new to posting on mumsnet, but have spent plenty of time reading through others' conversations for reassurance when anxious, and this seems like such a friendly place!

I've just found out I'm pregnant again after the miscarriage of my first at 11 weeks in August. I would love to connect with other people in a similar situation.

I'm feeling relatively ok, i.e. not totally panicked all the time, about this one, but I know it's going to be hard. I really find it hard to believe sometimes that this could work out.

Please send a comment if you're in a similar situation and would like to share/receive some support!

@rach971 we sound very similar! I’m 4+2 so a week behind you 🥰 I asked at my epu and they said they wouldn’t scan me early unless I lie and say I have pains🤦🏻‍♀️

@ChloeN, would a private scan be an option if EPAU won't scan you?

I hate how nerve wracking the early days can be!

@B1993 the private scan is where I found out about the mmc last time and they were terrible, I probably was just unlucky with where I went but it’s really put me off!

@ChloeN, I'm so sorry you had such a terrible experience! 😢 That must have been an incredibly difficult situation so I don't blame you for not wanting to go back to them! Do you have any others places that aren't too far?

@B1993 luckily there’s quite a few near me but I just feel put off by the whole thing😫 I don’t know what to do tbh I’d like to try and just wait for the 12 week one but don’t know if I can🤣

@ChloeN, it's good that you've at least got options! You don't need to make your mind up now, it's still early days. Maybe just see how you feel in a couple of weeks. Is DP happy to wait for the 12w scan?

The private scanning place I went to with my son closed down last year for family reasons so mg next nearest is quite a while away!! As the nhs don't let you bring children, I'm considering doing an early one so he can come. It's annoying though that I'll have to travel a fair bit to get there though! 😪

@ChloeN Oh amazing! ☺️ That's a shame EPU won't scan you though. I know a lot don't do anything unless you have three miscarriages. Our EPU said I'd be offered an early reassurance scan this time around and IF anything bad did happen this time, then they'd offer me tests to see if they could find any answers.

Sorry you had a bad experience at a private scan as well. It was at a private scan place that I found out about my MMC and she was absolutely lovely. She was so gentle and explained everything and phoned the EPU for me, to tell them what had happened and get me an appointment. I'd definitely look around if there's a few in your area and scour the reviews because there are some gooduns out there ☺️

@B1993 i was thinking I’d see how I feel as the weeks go on, still 8 weeks till then🤣 he doesn’t mind either way to be honest, he’d be happy to do whatever I want to do bless him! Oh that’s so fustrating😫

@rach971 tbh I think if I rang epu and told them I’d been before and I was anxious they might let me have one, they were all so nice I can’t imagine them saying no🤣 oh that’s lovely that you had a nice one, not judging obviously but I had a male and I don’t think that helped matters at all! It was just so uncomfortable throughout even before the bad news!!

@rach971 that's interesting about the EPU didn't think to ask mine though just assumed it was a no unless bleeding/pain. Parking at the hospital is a nightmare though so may just add to my stress 😂

@ChloeN plenty of time to decide if you want to book one or not. I have had positive experiences at a window to the womb one near me. Only had good news there though.

Well, I've started having brownish coloured spotting like I did last time :( gonna ring EPU on Monday but praying it's nothing bad 😭

Hopefully it is nothing to worry about @rach971 will keep everything crossed for you - sorry you have this added stress at an anxious time. Brown spotting is better than red hold on to that

@rach971 So sorry you have this extra stress! Fingers crossed for you that it's just ongoing implantation. (When I had my miscarriage the gynaecologist who initially saw me in A&E said that 50% of pregnant women who experience bleedingnot just spotting, but full on heavy bleedingare still having healthy pregnancies, so I can only imagine how much more common unproblematic spotting is!)

Sorry, I keep using double dashes and it reads it as strikethrough! That's not meant to be crossed out 😂

@tulipsunday it was window to the womb I went too, think I just got unlucky as I’ve heard really good reviews about them!!

@rach971 oh I’m so sorry lovely you must be so stressed. Hopefully epu can see you asap and maybe get you on some progesterone?

@Nervousbuthopeful i always wondered why people crossed bits out, maybe they’re doing it accidentally too🤣

Three more days until my 7 week scan at the EPU on Wednesday afternoon! Please cross your fingers for me everyone; I'll be so nervous.

Last time, with my first pregnancy, I had a private scan at 8 weeks that just left me in uncertainty and worry, and then I miscarried at 11+4; desperately hoping for better news this time 😔

@rach971 Got everything crossed for you 💕

@Nervousbuthopeful Got everything crossed for you too!

@Nervousbuthopeful Sending you lots of luck and love, I’m sure everything will be perfect this time!❤️ are you glad you’re having the early scan for reassurance or just anxious about it?xx

@ChloeN Quite possibly they're just dash addicts like I am 😅

I also went to Window to the Womb and had mixed feelings--given that the scan wasn't unequivocally good news, it was really quite painful to have a sonographer who couldn't really say anything except 'the NHS doctors will explain I'm sure at your next appointment', which was, of course, A MONTH away! I'm so glad you had a good experience at the EPU though, and fingers crossed for you!

@ChloeN Thank you so much!! So so grateful to be having a scan; if there is any bad news, I would really rather know as soon as possible, and hopefully, all will just be well! Thanks again for your support 💗

Started bleeding this morning with some clots ☹️ so angry my body is doing this to me again. Will have to wait until tomorrow to ring the EPU as no way I'm going to a&e again after the last miscarriage and I hat I went through that day 🥴

Thanks so much @Beapo !

@Nervousbuthopeful thats what I found, they can’t give you any medical help which is really fustrating! I think they’re really just trained to check if babies in the right place and has a heartbeat then nothing beyond that!

@Daniki so sorry lovely😔xx

@rach971, if it helps, my miscarriage started with brown spotting but with this pregancy I've had brown, light red and bright red spotting and all seems to be well 🥰

@Daniki, so sorry this is happening!! 💔Be kind to yourself, lovely. We're here if you need to chat.

@Nervousbuthopeful, good luck with the upcoming scan! 🍀

I cannot believe they told you that at the private place and then made you wait!! 😡 I thought they called EPAU on your behalf and booked you in with them if it wasn't good news?!

In my experience, EPAU are great though and they've bren really reassuring during this pregnancy with all of my spotting. I hope you're exorince is just as postive this time. 😊

@Nervousbuthopeful Thank you. I think the biggest worry is that my pregnancy symptoms totally stopped once the spotting started. An exact replica of what happened last time 😫

Can't wait for it to be morning so I can phone EPU!