Pregant after miscarriage - support thread

[Nervousbuthopeful]

Hi everyone,

I'm new to posting on mumsnet, but have spent plenty of time reading through others' conversations for reassurance when anxious, and this seems like such a friendly place!

I've just found out I'm pregnant again after the miscarriage of my first at 11 weeks in August. I would love to connect with other people in a similar situation.

I'm feeling relatively ok, i.e. not totally panicked all the time, about this one, but I know it's going to be hard. I really find it hard to believe sometimes that this could work out.

Please send a comment if you're in a similar situation and would like to share/receive some support!

Joining this club. I had a missed miscarriage back in June. Discovered at the 12-week scan that baby had stopped growing at 11 weeks. I had to have two ERPCs a month apart (first one didn’t get everything). I’m now almost 9 weeks pregnant again. I did, by coincidence have a scan at 7 weeks as it coincided with a follow up on a cyst they found during the previous miscarriage saga. The good news is the cyst had gone and there was a normal looking baby with a heartbeat. But since then I am feeling paranoid that something has gone wrong again. I haven’t really had any sickness (same as first pregnancy) other than feeling slightly nauseous in the afternoons some times. Is it normal not to have sickness? Last week I had an uncomfortable stomach pain that I think (hope) was trapped wind. Didn’t have any spotting or anything. I didn’t have any pain with the previous MMC. When is a stomach pain something to worry about?? Feels a long wait until my next scan on 23 Dec. The previous baby would have been due on 16 Dec so it feels like it would be an even more terrible blow to discover something has gone wrong again.

My self and partner having been trying for our rainbow baby this cycle.
Up until now my cycle has been regular and right on 28 days,However this month I am now 3 days late yet I have taken various tests mainly all coming negative,However I took a test today and not sure if it a evaporation line? Some advice would be very greaful received

@Daniki, I'm so sorry to hear about the outcome of the scan 💔 I really hope you're blessed with your rainbow soon 🌈 And it's good news that they're putting steps in place to help prevent any further losses. All the best 💖

@Lottylou2022 Welcome ☺️ I think not having sickness is normal ☺️ With my daughter (who's 7) I didn't have any sickness in that pregnancy, just some mild nausea. I had a MMC back in August and I only had mild nausea then also. It's so hard not to compare symptoms though. In my first and second pregnancies I had food aversions and in this one I don't. You just end up driving yourself mad with it all don't you 🙈 deffo normal to just have a bit of nausea and no sickness though.

Did they give you any answers as to the reason for the mmc last time?

I've been having some stomach cramping but I've never had it before so I don't know what it's supposed to feel like.

@Lottylou2022, with my first pregnancy, I didn't have any symptoms other than fatigue and then the bump and movements later down the line. That was a perfectly normal Pregancy and now my son is 3!

This pregancy is definitely different to that. I've had nausea, sore boobs, cravings etc. but they have fluctuated massively. So far, everything's looking good and I've had a successful 12 week scan last week.

I know it's easier said than done, but try not to worry as no symptoms and fluctuating systems haven't been a bad sign, at least in my experience. 😊

** pregnancy!

Thanks both. It’s so stressful trying not to analyse every little thing isn’t it. There was no reason giving for the first MMC, just one of those things. I have everything crossed it won’t happen again. I’ve also turned 39 in between the two pregnancies which of course adds to my worries, but the midwife last time did tell me it’s only once you get over 40 that the risk increases, and even then it’s only slightly. My friend gets the terrible morning sickness that leads her to be hospitalised so I suppose I should be grateful I’m getting off lightly so far!

@ChloeN hey! Yeah, I recognise your name too- hope you're doing okay! I've been in no man's land for weeks now, couldn't let myself commit to a pregnancy thread, but starting to feel like I need to chat to people in a similar position!

@Lottylou2022 I'm feeling exactly the same way with symptoms. Only mild nausea in the afternoon and evening, but barely noticeable. I met with a friend yesterday who is four weeks ahead of me and she couldn't get over how sprightly I looked and felt- it made me feel so paranoid. Hopefully we can just look back and and call ourselves 'lucky'.

@theblueflowers fingers crossed!

Does anyone else find they keep accidentally having really negative thoughts? For example, I will find my thoughts wandering and I'll start imagining that the next time I go to the toilet there'll be blood, or thinking about what I'll do if this pregnancy doesn't work out, or picturing myself telling my husband that it's gone wrong again. I am battling so hard to be positive but I am just so worried that the negative thoughts I have are going to somehow end this pregnancy. I know it sounds crazy, but I felt like I worried the last baby away too :( I am a big believer in the link between mind and body, and so worried about not being able to keep my mind in check. Someone please tell me I'm not the only one and this is normal. I keep trying to visualise a good scan outcome next week (have one at the EPU at 6+1 next Tuesday) but when I think about it, all I can think about it them telling us bad news. In short, I'm driving myself mad. Sorry for the long and needy post 🤦🏻‍♀️

Sorry everyone, I shouldn't have posted something so negative. Perhaps I'm not quite ready for forums yet after all 😂 I'm going to go and try and continue to relax, and maybe come back when I've finally made it to my scan date and have some reassurance 😊

@sian124 dont feel bad at all!! I think negative thoughts are so normal, I almost think it’s a way of protecting yourself so if the worst was to happen you’ve already prepared yourself😔 I think it’s to be expected almost given your past experiences!

Can I join please? I'm 7+3. Scan booked for this Friday. I had a mc in 2019 around 7 weeks and a successful pregnancy in 2020 but that's not stopped me feeling anxious this time.

I know what you mean about negative thoughts! It's hard to stay positive.

My mind has blocked out the time around my mc so I honestly can't remember if I had any symptoms etc.

@Lottylou2022 I had barely any nausea with my son's healthy pregnancy so don't worry think no or little nausea is common.

For those battling anxious thoughts I have heard good things about the 'Pregnancy after loss' book by Zoe Clark-Coates. I also like this website datayze.com/miscarriage-reassurer

I had a horrible realistic pregnancy dream that I miscarried last night was a relief when I woke up.

@tulipsunday thanks. I had a horrible miscarriage dream last week when I went to bed with a stomach ache. Suffering a miscarriage really does take the joy out of a subsequent pregnancy doesn’t it

@Lottylou2022 yes sadly the innocence of pregnancy = baby is gone. Midwife called today and booked me in for Dec 15th appointment so will be 9 weeks then. Just hoping I can make it until then 😬 appointments will be at home which is quite nice

@squirrelnutkins1 hey, keeping my fingers crossed your scans fab🤞🏻 keep us updated!

@Lottylou2022 i had an awful nights sleep too, but I think that was from the panic of having cramping before bed, i thought it was a uti but that’s come back clear!

I’d love to share support I’m 9+6 today & had 2 scans already as I’m so anxious I had a missed miscarriage a year & a half ago & was diagnosed with unexplained infertility this year by the fertility clinic me & my partner were on the waiting list for IVF & found out I was pregnant a few weeks after being put on the list it’s amazing but also really anxious I get comfort from taking my bra off & my boobs feeling like bricks lol I panic when they’re not sore.

Good luck for your scan @squirrelnutkins1 gosh that must have been amazing when you got the positive pregnancy test @Rose1111 glad your scans have gone well

It was a shock my period was 5 days late & my boobs were still sore (they normally stop hurting a day or 2 before my period) I was getting suspicious I went to Costa one morning & my stomach was like a football afterwards so I went home & tested & was shaking & in disbelief the whole day I went through a crazy amount of tests for about a week afterwards

@Daniki I’m so so sorry to hear your news. Sending you lots of love and hoping you have great support around you💗

To everyone who has just joined—good to have you, and really hope this is the start of happy, healthy pregnancy for you!

@sian124 can absolutely relate to the negativity—don’t worry about sharing it!

@Rose1111 ah that sounds amazing!! I tested at 9dpo so shock in a different way that there was actually a line 🤣💕

@ChloeN i was not testing early that month lol I done it every other month I couldn’t go through seeing another negative test my partner had been pestering me to take one

@Nervousbuthopeful and @ChloeN thanks both - it's good to know I'm not the only one going slowly mad here 😅 Had a bit of a meltdown that night after posting (poor DH!!!) but felt a bit better after getting it out of my system. I found a nice meditation on YouTube too: Lots of positive vibes and thoughts in that one 😊