Very early pregnancy and so much anxiety after miscarriage

[Sprinklerainbows]

I found out I was pregnant a couple of days ago.

i had a miscarriage about 4 years ago and have since had a successful pregnancy who is my gorgeous DS.

but now I’m pregnant again I have SO much anxiety, I’m terrified of miscarrying.

how do you reassure yourself to calm down? I feel like my head goes completely out of control!

@xalexandra little update, sweet girl is now measuring on the 2.5 percentile. So she’s out of the ‘normal’ range and we’ve been referred to fetal medicine. Although we are so worried, I’m glad we will be looked after by the medical team from now on. She’s so cute though, I love her so much 😩 x

@Sprinklerainbows aw - it is a worry but.. well you are in the right hands that's for sure! It's good they pick up on these things early on. Your scan pics are always so lovely and clear ❤️

@xalexandra yes off to the big hospital tomorrow for the scan (and supposed to be an amnio but I’ve decided I don’t want it)
scared but still hopeful it’s nothing serious

@Sprinklerainbows surely the 20 week scan is pretty accurate with any major news anyway? I hope you get some hopeful and positive news from your scan tomorrow! Xx

@xalexandra you’d hope so wouldn’t you. She did also pick up an echogenic bowel which is another indication for genetic/chromosomal abnormality. I forgot to mention that! My first lot of bloods came back negative which is good (that was for viruses whcih could negatively affect the baby) but still waiting about the cystic fibrosis ones- they take up to 10 days 😳 x

I’ll let you know how the scan goes tomorrow x

@Sprinklerainbows what's an echogenic bowel? Hopefully the cystic fibrosis one comes back all clear - so annoying doing all these tests but it's so good to get them out the way and then hopefully later on in your pregnancy you can relax 🤞🏼 xx

@xalexandra It’s basically that her bowel looks bright! Where as a normal bowel should be dark.

They booked me for an amnio but I’m going to tell them I don’t want it! I don’t want to put her at risk!
we are going to go for a NIPT privately instead.

they even talked about termination in the app on Friday so it’s been literally the most horrendous wait!

I really hope we can! Xx

@Sprinklerainbows termination 😮 wow I'm suprised they mention that when no.1 - don't know if there is any major problems and 2. Anyone who gets to this stage clearly doesn't eagerly want a termination! The NIPT is a good idea! When is that booked in for? Xx

I know it was so shocking. She was saying it in the context of - we need these tests quickly because obviously in the event… the cut of is 24 weeks (I’m 22)

We haven’t got it booked yet but I can literally call and have it the same day/next day. So I’m going to wait for after tomorrows scan

@xalexandra ^

@Sprinklerainbows makes sense! Really hope it goes ok and takes away the stress! Xxx

@xalexandra thank you! I’ll keep you updated xx

@Sprinklerainbows how was the scan? Hope everything's ok xx

@xalexandra sorry I meant to reply! Oh gosh it’s so long

she’s still tiny and completely off the chart. The bowel is still echogenic. Everything else organ and brain wise was looking good!
we turned down the amniocentesis so we won’t know for sure if it’s a chromosome/genetic condition. She said she thinks it’s very unlikely to be edwards or Pataus but a possibility she has Down’s syndrome as there are some markers to suggest.

there’s also some signs I may have a placental issue and so we will have to stay at the London hospital to be monitored from now on. We have to have a scan there every 2 weeks and then they’ll decide if she need to be delivered etc (if growth stops)

we feel worried but very comforted by the fact they were amazing there and keeping such a close eye

@xalexandra how’re you and baby doing? X

Hello lovelies. I can’t believe how long I’ve left this thread for! The notifications have been going to my junk emails so I didn’t know if it was active anymore.
Firstly, I’ve caught up and I'm so sorry @Sprinklerainbows what a stressful time the past few weeks must have been for you. I’m so glad you’re getting all the support you need from the hospital and they’re putting worries somewhat at bay for you 💜💖 she’ll be perfect no matter what. Is there an any more updates? Do you have to literally stay and sleep at the hospital from now on?!

Also, I’m having a Girl 💖🥰 over the moon as I have my lovely little boy and now this just seems perfect. I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes at 18 weeks, very early this time around but normal considering I had it with my first. Diet controlled at the moment until my body can’t control it itself anymore. Then I’ll be on metformin pills or insulin jabs. Hate the idea of jabbing myself - a very big fear. I’m 24 weeks yesterday so I’ve hit the big ‘viability’ milestone now and finally started buying stuff. The biggest thing I’ve bought was an absolutely bargain - got a travel system from Facebook marketplace for £80 and it’s like new! It’s dark blue with brown leather bars - so beautiful. Not very girly but my fav colour is blue so I’m chuffed. Lots of pink sleepsuits and bodysuits have been purchased in the baby events nearby (Asda/aldi/Tesco etc). Xxx

@Cassarat yaaay! So glad to hear you’re doing well! We’ve missed you!
sorry to hear about the GD but good you can manage it with diet for now. Wooo another girl!!! It’s the year of girls 💖

I’ve got 3 appointments this week, waiting for some bloods still! They take WEEKS so frustrating.
No real update, she’s very very active which is lovely reassurance.
I don’t think it seems likely I’ll be going over 37 weeks so about 3 months left for me 😱
She’s estimated about 3lbs FULL TERM so we need to get some tiny baby bits I think 😅

oh that’s a great bargain! Nice you are starting to buy stuff. I’ve gone the other way and stopped 😬
so nice to get girly bits after having a boy though isn’t it 💖

@Sprinklerainbows have you had anymore info? The appointments must be so annoying but also just always good that they are being so thorough with everything and it's reassurance for you. It's nice that she's so active as well! 💓 it's the reassurance you absolutely need! My partners daughter was born 3 pounds and she was absolutely healthy - even went home same day can you believe!

Time has flown hasn't it!

I saw the midwife today and she found protein in my urine so I avoided the GTT for so long as had no risk factors, but now at 29
weeks - she also measured my bump which is measuring large which I'm so surprised about - so another sign of GD but we shall find out next week! Wondering if shes a big bubba or it's just random. I know the measurements are so unreliable and bumps can change due to babies position/what I've eaten/if I need a wee! She's super active though, constantly see her moving through my leggings! But she's very healthy and always has a good heartbeat so that's all that is important for now! Xx

@xalexandra @Cassarat

we had another scan today. She’s still totally tiny. Her estimated birth weight is still under 3.5lbs but they are happy she’s still growing, just on her own line 🤣

basically back every 2 weeks for the foreseeable but we won’t be going to the due date. My only worry is about NICU (my hospital don’t let you home until they are more like 5lbs!)

oh no! Hope you’re okay! Pregnancy is full of stress I swear 🤣🤣🤣 those belly measurements are RIDICULOUS I can’t believe they still bother doing them. Everyone should just have the routine 36 week growth scan.
they aren’t going to bother measuring my belly apparently 🤣

@Sprinklerainbows awww the best things come in small packages ❤️💓 have they said anything more about her bowel? Xx

@xalexandra very true 🤣 they weren’t concerned about to bowel today! X

@Sprinklerainbows oh! Haha well I guess that's a good sign!!! 😁

@xalexandra definitely! We feel a lot better now tbh. Just keep having the scans and hopefully she’ll be absolutely fine! Just a little small 🤍 x

How is everyone? Xxx

Hey! Not too bad! We had a scan yesterday, she’s grown on her little line which is good. As long as she’s growing they are happy!

how’re you? Can’t believe we are so close to meeting these babes now! Xx