Due August 2021 - over half way!

[Daffodil21]

@wimbler - EDD 29 July, surprise 💛
@Champson - EDD 22 August (but really June/July), TBC 💖💖💖
@coffeeandrainbows1- EDD 4 August (but most likely July), Boy 💙
@Jessicapebbles - EDD 5 August (but having C-section at 39 weeks, so really July), Girl 💖
@Smurf123 - EDD 5 August (but likely to be July) 💛
@WhatEvenIsSleep - EDD 2 August, Boy 💙
@ready2020 - EDD 4 August, Girl 💖
@Xaxnxdxrxexaxandrews87 - EDD 4 August, Boy 💙
@Smushty14 - EDD 6 August, TBC 💛
@Rattyclife - EDD 6 August, TBC 💛
@Dia12 - EDD 8 August, Girl 💖
@Biscuitcat - EDD 10 August, surprise 💛
@ElonaWise - EDD 11 August, TBC 💛
@Runnergirl123 - EDD 11 August, TBC 💛
@PurplePansy05 - EDD 12 August, Boy 💙
@Srtdr - EDD 12 August, surprise 💛
@Daffodil21 - EDD 12 August, Boy 💙
@Inmypjsagain - EDD ???, Boy 💙
@BananaHammock23 - EDD 13 August, surprise 💛
@MrsB2019x - EDD 13 August, Girl 💖
@Magik01 - EDD 13 August, Boy 💙
@Aaaaa1519 - EDD 13 August, Girl 💖
@Carefree1 - EDD 15 August, Girl 💖
@DressyGerbera - EDD 15 August, surprise 💛
@lucyrp - EDD 16 August, undecided 💛
@BertieBotts - EDD 16 August, want to know! 💛
@WolfMother326 - EDD 17 August, surprise 💛
@Caz1226 - EDD 17 August, Boy 💙
@Lille4 - EDD 17 August, Girl 💖
@Redskinsucks - EDD 17 August, TBC 💛
@RockyRockyRoad - EDD 18 August, can't wait to find out 💛
@Smallbean27 - EDD 19 August, surprise 💛
@WatermelonKisses - EDD 20 August, surprise 💛
@Alittlexmasmagic - EDD 22 August, surprise 💛
@Millymay13 - EDD 22 August, TBC 💛
@Whatshouldbemyusername - EDD 22 August, surprise 💛
@LottSE20 - EDD 22 August, TBC 💛
@Notinthestarsigns - EDD 23 August, TBC 💛
@Winecoffeeteamum - EDD 23 August, Girl 💖
@LaceyMermaid - EDD 24 August, TBC 💛
@Fran919 - EDD 25 August, surprise 💛
@ava50x - EDD 25th August, Boy 💙
@Ghhh - EDD 25th August, Boy 💙
@northernsquirrel - EDD 26 August, surprise 💛
@LyraShaeLilly - EDD 27 August, Girl 💖
@ame88 - EDD 28 August, TBC 💛
@diamante11 - EDD 29 August, Girl 💖
@HopefulB - EDD 29 August, TBC 💛
@CountryGirl84 - EDD 29 August, TBC 💛

@PurplePansy05 you don't know this. Just because they've offered you the tests it doesn't mean there is something wrong. You are no more at risk today after getting that letter than you were last week x

@PurplePansy05 you've been offered the tests because of your history, not because they've picked up on something in this pregnancy. You and I have exactly the same history (and even the same due dates with a boy!) I'm very aware that things can change at any moment, just as you are but you are 25+ weeks pregnancy with a boy who is showing to be perfectly healthy so far. Yes, the tests so far haven't been for everything so there is a small chance something could be wrong, but there is an even bigger chance that there isn't ❤️

But up until today my understanding was that even if we had an issue this would have been relevant to the early stage of pregnancy only and because we were past that, I felt much safer. It turns out this was not the case but no one explained this to us. I obviously understand sometimes things do go wrong regardless of prior history or lack thereof and they just cannot be identified, but this is not this sort of scenario. xx

@PurplePansy05 no one would judge you for TFMR. It would honestly be the hardest decision you'd ever have to make, but it's made entirely through love, so little one doesn't have to suffer. I worried about being open about ours but I've had nothing but support and love from those around me.

I do think they've got you more worried than you need to be though. It is most likely your baby does not have a genetic condition, if the chances were higher then they would have suggested further testing sooner. You've had multiple scans that have not flagged anything up, as well as NIPT/ NHS testing. Plus it could flag up something that would not affect baby's way of life or future or have very minimal effect. I understand your anxiety, trust me I still worry about this pregnancy and something being flagged up late too, I think it's natural to feel this way after losses of any kind, but there's been no signs of anything that would suggest it isn't a healthy baby in there so I have to trust it. Maybe use the weekend to think it all through and talk to your partner about it before making any decision.

I am so cross that you’ve been put in this position and it’s stressed you like this. Honestly I think it’s terrible. I’m sorry, I don’t have anything helpful to add because I agree with what others have said who have put it more eloquently than I could have. Just because they’ve offered further tests doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong and all looks to be going well so far 💙💙💙 xxxx

@PurplePansy05 marks and Spencer cheese and celery sandwiches are my absolute favourite atm😍 pity the nearest marks and Spencer is an hour away!
I'm so sorry to hear about the position you feel you've been put in, I think I also would TMFR if I found any problems as I don't think I could cope. However that being said they haven't said there is anything wrong with DS intact quite the opposite haven't they! All you know is he is happy and healthy wiggling away inside you and he loves you💕 please don't feel there is anything wrong

Had my lashes done today then ventured on to the shop to see if I could get measured for a bra, finally got a bra that fits me during pregnancy. Not the most flattering but more so than sports bra type ones! Also treated myself to some new underwear, some baby grows and some sunglasses for DS. Successful shopping trip apart from on the way home realised the transaction was showing twice on my online banking so have to wait see if it actually goes out twice 🙄

@Smurf123 I was invited for mine on Wednesday. I rang to cancel and the lady said pregnant people are now allowed their first dose of Pfizer. I still chose not to have it and she said it was fine they would just put me on a suspension and if I changed my mind I could just ring back and book in ☺️

@PurplePansy05 take some time to digest this and decide what you want to do and how you'll feel with each decision. We are all here supporting you x

Feel free to send me a PM if you need a rant/vent/chat

@PurplePansy05 sorry you're going through this, them not communicating properly about the purpose of it must just be adding to your stress. No one would judge you for TFMR, it's such a personal decision and as @RunnerGirl123 said, always made through love. But I would also say not to catastrophise yet - though of course easier said than done, especially given they don't seem to have given you sufficient information xx

I've sent a long email explaining what I was told to my consultant. I feel I need to speak to her about this, she's looked after me at the RMC, made the referral and talked to me about this then. She needs to explain to me what the position is now and why this testing wasn't offered earlier.

He is theoretically fine, well according to NIPT and the usual screening that we all had. But of course not many of us on here had recurrent MCs, which is a genetic risk factor and it now transpired to be relevant throughout the pregnancy, not just early on. If only I had known this. Anyway, I am going to have to detach myself from him now because obviously things may not be ok and I shouldn't be happy or excited about anything. I should have known that. xx

I am also utterly freaking out now because my mum had recurrent MCs too and my brother was stillborn with hydrocephalus (missed diagnosis in the 80s), I'm now clicking that there may well be a genetic issue 😔😔😔 xx

@PurplePansy05 I totally get the stress and upset you're going through right now.
If you are in any doubt of what your options are, please look up the ARC. They are there purposefully to help women like us. From my understanding TMFRs can happen right up until term when there is a reason. You still have every choice available and the support to go with it xx

@PurplePansy05 I haven't known that for sure but I've always presumed it too. I've felt detached the entire way through this pregnancy because of that exact reason. I've bought prams and cots and things in the hope it would at least forge some sort of attachment but it hasn't. It's just the way it is unfortunate and you are not alone

@PurplePansy05 @Daffodil21 I'm on another thread with a lady who's on a clinical trial after suffering recurrent MCs & CPs. It essentially put ladies on antibiotics for a specific infection and she's now out of the danger zone to speak. From what she's said is surprisingly common just not identified often. There are so many reasons that could account for your difficult journeys, please don't be too disheartened yet for fear of the worst. Easy for me to say I know xx

@alittlexmasmagic is it to with an immune condition by any chance?

@PurplePansy05 I'm sorry they have worried you. I, like you, have had recurrent miscarriages, I had 3 before I had ds and I currently let myself think too far ahead his whole pregnancy and still to a degree this one. But (while I found it incredibly harsh at the time due to the manner it was said) I wi never forget sitting in triage at 30 weeks pregnant on my own as dh was on night shift terrified as I hadn't felt movements all day and the consultant (not my own) said why are you so worried and I said well I've had recurrent miscarriages before this I don't want to lose this baby and his reply was "well it's silly to be worried about miscarriage as it's completely different have recurrent early miscarriages and being 30 weeks pregnant. Early miscarriages even recurrent are likely to caused by issues that are incompatible with life you would never have reached this stage with them"
I was raging it felt he was dismissing my worries but his point was there was no reason to think anything was wrong with this pregnancy as it would have been discovered in the early weeks if it was related to the miscarriages.
I have had a much nicer consultant specialising in fetal medicine who I paid privately to see tell me that most genetic issues would be picked up on scans by 20 weeks and you also had nipt which will have given more detailed information too.
I think unfortunately they didn't word it very well to you. But so do they know you already had nipt? Was it privately or on NHS? It could well be what they plan on offering you.

@Smurf123 Yes I told the genetics team I had NIPT (done privately). I explained 12 and 20 week scans went fine. They said that whilst this is a good sign they can't say for certain there are no genetic issues that may have an impact on this pregnancy. Well that's a factual statement, thanks. The reality is it's my son and because of their delays we weren't tested when we should have been to exclude any such issues so how is this supposed to make me feel other than completely overwhelmed with worry? And stuck in this situation now? I feel so stupid but honestly no one has ever explained things properly to us. I'm so upset with how this has been handled.

@Alittlexmasmagic Thanks I've looked up the grounds, they are very, very narrow after 24 weeks, he'd have to be really very severely ill for them to apply. Really don't know if it's any help if they test me and say he's heavily disabled, but can live for example.

Re this trial it sounds like immune stuff, I agree @Daffodil21. I was all over this and was under dr Brosens before I got pregnant, just about to be tested too. The NHS doesn't provide these therapies as they don't believe in them despite evidence mounting for 15 years now, if not longer. xx

@PurplePansy05 I know this is a worrying time but try and remember that we live in an age where the standard antenatal testing is worlds away from 30+ years ago. You have had advanced testing and a good 20w scan that showed no abnormalities. that's a really good thing.

@PurplePansy05 yes, im a strong believer in this too. we were about to book in with Dr Sheheta after my 3rd, but then I got pregnant again straight away so we essentially did a lot of freewheeling after reading lots on here and various books. I managed to get a prescription privately (and then on the NHS) for prednisolone which is honestly how i think we are here now. But I don't know for sure, it could just be 'chance'.

I mentioned NK cells to the head midwife and she basically laughed at me! Should absolutely be offered on the NHS!

Sorry you’ve go this added stress @PurplePansy05, my perception is that the unknown is actually the cause of most of the anxiety around this.

I would create a list for your consultant of what you want to know, these would be my starters:

1. what are you testing for
2. what is the impact on me/OH/Baby if something is identified
3. how will the testing affect my ability to obtain health/travel Insurance (knowing more means you have to declare more in my experience!)
4. is there an option to delay until baby had arrived?

To add, from a fellow RMC graduate, I have an inherited condition which I know predisposes me to miscarriage, but also increases my risk of a late loss/stillbirth. I’ve known about the condition for 20years, but only found out it was linked to miscarriage when I had my MMC. My mum carried 2 pregnancies with no problems she was aware of (acknowledging that pregnancy tests weren’t so readily available, so there is a possibility she never knew about v early loss) she didn’t find out she had the condition until she was tested due to my results. Sometimes more information is not actually helpful! And some genetic conditions are actually quite minor and may have no impact on your LO!

I think health and travel insurance are quite low on the list of my worries right now...I don't want a sick baby, that's about what it comes down to and I cannot believe they just let it go for so long without giving me the option to be tested. This list would have been helpful if I was in the first trimester and could consider calmly and with plenty of time the pros and cons of everything. Now this kid is going to be born in less than 15 weeks and what am I supposed to do if he comes out intellectually disabled or has cystic fibrosis? I can't quit my job and neither can DH. This government doesn't help much. So that's kind of where my problem is, it's too late for any nornal considerations. I can either choose to ignore this whole testing and hope and pray for the best and yes he might come out fine, but he might not. So maybe it's best to detach myself completely because there is a risk of serious disability or death that I know I'm not going to be able to live with.

@Daffodil21 endometrisis?x

@PurplePansy05 it's so hard not to think & imagine the worst. Not one of us can be guaranteed a healthy pregnancy, we could each one of us be a ticking time bomb. Please try not to worry too much, things are so promising so far. xx

@wimbler I’m exactly the same re vaccine, I am VERY pro vaccination, but I feel that the risks of transmission are very controllable
for me at the mo, whereas the vaccine is an unknown when it comes to effects on baby. I actually said to my OH I’d love them to vaccinate me before I leave hospital after birth - he thinks that’s crazy due to side effects, but I figure if I’m going to just sleep & feed for a few days it doesn’t matter! I’d like me and if possible baby to be covered in the event of a third wave in Autumn/Winter.

@PurplePansy05 they might be looking for things like a translocation. DH has a translocation so happy to chat about this if it would be helpful at all.

We are eligible for amniocentesis and full karyotyping of the baby due to this but we declined it fo DS2 and for this baby as well because of the risk of miscarriage. It means we don't know whether DS2 carries the translocation. But he can find out for himself when he's 18, if he wants to (we will probably encourage him to, because I think it's useful info to have before TTC if possible, but it will be up to him.)

Wishing you ladies and your babies all the best, but Mumsnet and this thread is no longer for me. Xx

A translocation can cause issues which are not identifiable via ultrasound, but we have had high detail ultrasounds just in case.

But the specialised doctor we saw was keen to impress that they can find something like 25% of problems at the 12 week scan and over 90% of problems are visible at the 20 week scan. There is only a very small amount of conditions which are not detectable at all.

You had the NIPT as well, didn't you? That covers a lot of the conditions which are also not detectable via ultrasound. So you've really had lots of testing and as much info that is possible to gather without having had this testing earlier. And it might even come back as nothing.

But I know exactly that feeling as we got very similar news/info about a specific condition and the option to do amnio post 20 weeks last time and it was the most stressful thing I've ever been through I think. I was all for doing the amnio because I felt that although it would be hard to terminate now, I know the reality (through friends) of what it's like to have a child with a severe disability and I think long term that would be harder. DH in the end felt he was too attached already and didn't want to terminate whatever happened. Then I also realised what would be involved in ending a pregnancy so late and that I couldn't do it either (unless there was no chance of life) and we somehow came close to accepting it just in case. But there is nothing different about DS2 at all. He is a perfectly healthy child.