Due August 2021 - over half way!

[Daffodil21]

@wimbler - EDD 29 July, surprise 💛
@Champson - EDD 22 August (but really June/July), TBC 💖💖💖
@coffeeandrainbows1- EDD 4 August (but most likely July), Boy 💙
@Jessicapebbles - EDD 5 August (but having C-section at 39 weeks, so really July), Girl 💖
@Smurf123 - EDD 5 August (but likely to be July) 💛
@WhatEvenIsSleep - EDD 2 August, Boy 💙
@ready2020 - EDD 4 August, Girl 💖
@Xaxnxdxrxexaxandrews87 - EDD 4 August, Boy 💙
@Smushty14 - EDD 6 August, TBC 💛
@Rattyclife - EDD 6 August, TBC 💛
@Dia12 - EDD 8 August, Girl 💖
@Biscuitcat - EDD 10 August, surprise 💛
@ElonaWise - EDD 11 August, TBC 💛
@Runnergirl123 - EDD 11 August, TBC 💛
@PurplePansy05 - EDD 12 August, Boy 💙
@Srtdr - EDD 12 August, surprise 💛
@Daffodil21 - EDD 12 August, Boy 💙
@Inmypjsagain - EDD ???, Boy 💙
@BananaHammock23 - EDD 13 August, surprise 💛
@MrsB2019x - EDD 13 August, Girl 💖
@Magik01 - EDD 13 August, Boy 💙
@Aaaaa1519 - EDD 13 August, Girl 💖
@Carefree1 - EDD 15 August, Girl 💖
@DressyGerbera - EDD 15 August, surprise 💛
@lucyrp - EDD 16 August, undecided 💛
@BertieBotts - EDD 16 August, want to know! 💛
@WolfMother326 - EDD 17 August, surprise 💛
@Caz1226 - EDD 17 August, Boy 💙
@Lille4 - EDD 17 August, Girl 💖
@Redskinsucks - EDD 17 August, TBC 💛
@RockyRockyRoad - EDD 18 August, can't wait to find out 💛
@Smallbean27 - EDD 19 August, surprise 💛
@WatermelonKisses - EDD 20 August, surprise 💛
@Alittlexmasmagic - EDD 22 August, surprise 💛
@Millymay13 - EDD 22 August, TBC 💛
@Whatshouldbemyusername - EDD 22 August, surprise 💛
@LottSE20 - EDD 22 August, TBC 💛
@Notinthestarsigns - EDD 23 August, TBC 💛
@Winecoffeeteamum - EDD 23 August, Girl 💖
@LaceyMermaid - EDD 24 August, TBC 💛
@Fran919 - EDD 25 August, surprise 💛
@ava50x - EDD 25th August, Boy 💙
@Ghhh - EDD 25th August, Boy 💙
@northernsquirrel - EDD 26 August, surprise 💛
@LyraShaeLilly - EDD 27 August, Girl 💖
@ame88 - EDD 28 August, TBC 💛
@diamante11 - EDD 29 August, Girl 💖
@HopefulB - EDD 29 August, TBC 💛
@CountryGirl84 - EDD 29 August, TBC 💛

Love all these names! We haven't even discussed names yet. Last time we had a boy's name that we would have used but our daughters name only made it on to the list the night before I went in for my c-section.

I could eat for England right now! Not necessarily hungry all the time, just want to eat if that makes sense. More like cravings I guess.

Baby is currently having its first bout of hiccups!

@WolfMother326, I know how you feel re appetite! My OH has just commented that I’ve eaten all the snacks...

There’s been a name suggestion here I haven’t like! I know a male Francis who is known as Frank and a female Frances with no shortening. I love Frankie!

My appetite is huge but I figure baby is hungry! And @wimbler hiccups! How sweet!! Though maybe a bit uncomfortable for you?

But happy Friday everyone! 3 day weekend ahead!!!

I am ok with Benjamin too. Imagine we end up with two boys, Frankie & Benny 😳🙈😂 xx

Is anyone looking at the initials too? As in how they flow and for them not to accidentally create a strange/rude word? 😂 xx

@PurplePansy05 yes! Growing up KLM I most definitely look at initials now.

I'm watching baby surgeons. It's bringing back a lot of memories but I'm still in awe of what the teams can do for unborn babies 😭😭 x

My age group 30-34 has just opened up for the vaccine I'm so torn as to whether to take it now or wait to baby is born 🙈
There's a few people here who have already had it right?? Does anyone know if there have been many babies born since mums have received the vaccine? After several losses I'm so worried about doing anything that might jeopardise the baby/ pregnancy

https://www.nejm.org/doi/full/10.1056/NEJMoa2104983

This study is based on 3500 pregnant women from USA and showed no increase in stillborn or misscarriage compared to the pregnancy people who didn't have the jab, greatest benefit was seen in those that has jab after 28weeks.

I am still undecided though so will wait until third trimester to make final decision.

@Smurf123 I was actually having a discussion about the vaccine with some pregnant friends this morning. I feel a little silly having this opinion because I'm very pro vaccine, but I just feel like this vaccine is so new and there's not enough evidence on the long term effects on pregnant women and babies born who have been in utero when the vaccine was received. For me, I think I've decided not to have it whilst pregnant. I have no underlying health conditions and rates in my area are very very low. I have got a midwife appointment next week so will speak to her about it. I feel like there is an element of societal pressure to have it though so I find the situation difficult.

Frankie and Benny!!! I love it!!! (Oh I’m hungry, just thought of their puddings!)

Oh @Smurf123 I’m jealous, are you in NI? I googled as soon as I saw as I’d have signed up. IMO third trimester is highest risk for both me and baby, so I’d like the protection as soon as I can. I believe in America pregnant women have always received the vaccine. Maybe I’m too trusting but if they’re saying it’s safe I’m taking their word for it... totally understand everyone else has a different view and might think I’m bonkers (especially because I don’t trust the govt in general..) Hopefully someone else can you give their experience of having it x

I just had a very strange situation. DH and I were referred for genetic testing a year ago after my third loss. My understanding was that the purpose was to show whether we have a predisposition to MC, although the testing was never really explained to me.

So anyway, I got pregnant as you know and we are where we are, 25+1.

I now received a letter inviting us for genetic testing. I called them and explained I'm 25 weeks pregnant, thinking they'll say ok we can test you after you give birth, on the understanding this might help us with future pregnancies. Obviously this pregnancy will no longer be affected by miscarriage so I thought it would make no difference to it and that in fact this may be the very reason we possibly can't be tested now.

She then tells me that this testing could be relevant to this pregnancy as if DH and I do have a genetic issue then it might identify it in the baby. I asked if it's different conditions to NIPT/usual NHS testing and apparently yes.

She goes on to tell me they would "speed it up for me because I'm pregnant". I told her what? I am 25+1, it is clearly too late even if anything is identified?! Why did they not call me earlier? I have a patient no and obviously only one patient record in the NHS. My consultant is the same person who originally referred me a year ago via Recurrent Miscarriage Clinic. How could they not "speed me up" earlier on where it was blatantly clear I was pregnant?

The significance of these tests was never explained to us. They never looked at my record clearly because no one has invited me earlier on in the pregnancy and they even sent the letter now to my old address! It took a week to arrive because of redirection!

I am so so upset. I don't know what to do now. I can't believe NHS has put me in this position now, how can this be right?! xx

@PurplePansy05 IME there seems to be absolutely no common sense applied, and definitely no communication between departments. I've had the RMC call me twice to book in for blood tests even though I've already told them I'm pregnant (these are the ones that need to be done 3 months after a pregnancy). I've also had the hospital write to me saying I can have a scan of my uterus to check that the shape isn't why I had MCs, even though I've called them twice to let them know I've already had it.

Not the same situation, but just highlights the lack of communication and sheer common sense.

I personally would have the tests, because I'm already worrying about the possibility of having #2 and what we'll have to go through for that (and that's even if this one is ok). I'm also worrying about how the rest of this pregnancy will go because it's been such a struggle to get to this point, and I'm going to ask for an ELCS because of that. For me, having that blood test would either give me a little of peace of mind for the rest of this and the next one, but if something was flagged I'd rather know so they could treat/monitor if needed. It depends completely on how you feel having investigations done and essentially 'rocking the boat' which so far has been sailing ok...

@Daffodil21 But if the baby has some sort of a condition then what am I suppose to do? It's too late for TFMR because they took this choice away from me?

Oh goodness @PurplePansy05 I am genuinely raging for you. I can’t say I relate because the issues I’m having aren’t as serious, but I just think the standard of behind the scenes referrals has been appalling, stressful and anxiety inducing. Everyone seems bloody clueless. I’m so sorry they’ve stressed you like this, last thing you need. Is there any indication what the testing is actually for? Or do they just keep it generic? Easier said than done, but you’ve got your little man in there cooking away nicely. You’ve had your tests, scans and heartbeats and it’s all looking good 💙 I think they way they’ve suggested speeding things up as is badly worded xxxx

@PurplePansy05 this is why they need to clarify what it’s for, what condition are they looking for? Must be very non standard otherwise surely it would have been picked up in your other appointments/checks xxx

@PurplePansy05 it's a tricky one and so wrong that they didn't pick this up sooner. My referral to the RMC has been cancelled because I'm pregnant so it's a little different, but I would still go ahead if I was offered it (I was actually annoyed they just dropped us when I got pregnant again).

If you would feel happier leaving it and not having the tests then do that, but if it's going to be a big black cloud (which could be unnecessary if everything is ok) over the rest of this pregnancy, and potential his early years depending on what they're testing for (I don't know what they'd be testing for) then it will be so nerve wracking having the tests but at least you'll know.

Yes, it would be too late to TMFR if that would have been the case, but not getting the tests won't change the outcome, it would just delay you knowing. Chances are everything is ok, you've made it to 25 weeks, but you won't know for sure without the tests.

I'm personally half expecting something not to be right, I'm expecting the birth to go wrong and I'm expecting to not have a 'normal' baby. I was really surprised when our 20 week scan looked ok tbh and I was really surprised there wasn't an apparent chromosome issue. If I could have some tests now I would take them, just so I could be prepared.

But it depends... I would personally know. But yes, it's so wrong they've overlooked this and only just said about it now!

I hope none of what I'm saying sounds blunt, I've had the same history as you but it is a personal choice

It's not for anything specific because for what we know we don't have any issues and no one in the families does either. We were referred to because of recurrent miscarriages only.

I am truly shocked because like I said I only understood it was supposed to identify if we're prone to miscarriage, but it turns out this is much wider testing which obviously could identify a problem with my baby now - a problem which would not be picked up on scans or via NIPT, they're different conditions.

I had no idea about this. Obviously had I known I wouldn't have got pregnant before the tests and/or would have pushed for them very early on.

I literally don't even know what to think now. xx

@PurplePansy05 so sorry you are going through this. How worrying and stressful for you xx

@PurplePansy05 we were offered genetic testing between our TFMR and this pregnancy, which we turned down / put on hold for a year as my partner wasn't keen on it. Not sure if your testing would be the same, but for us they were going to do full screening on both of us (and the baby we lost) to see if we were predisposed to any conditions and if there was something in our genetic code that could have been the cause of our baby's very rare genetic condition. It wasn't just looking at possible genetic conditions for baby but everything that could affect us too eg likelihood of future illness or cancer. My partner didn't want to open that book and live life in fear, so we took a risk to fall pregnant again and possibly have the same genetic issue and TFMR outcome.
I have no idea if that's what you're being offered as ours wasn't through RMC, but as a follow up to our baby's autopsy. I just thought I'd let you know what we'd been offered.

I think they've worded it poorly to you and may be better to see if you can speak to the genetic counsellor who will be looking after you, they'll be able to answer all your questions. I think, if the results would not change what you'd do in this pregnancy, then you might as well explore it later, after this pregnancy instead of adding extra stress waiting for results now.

@PurplePansy05 just to add, I would also be making a compliant!

Well if I can say bluntly, if I knew baby wasn't healthy I would have a termination, even with my history. That is my choice and I never wanted anyone to take this away from me. I can't imagine finding out he's not ok in a couple of week's time and having to carry him till the end, the sad truth is thatI wouldn't have him, I just couldn't. I know I will be judged for this but it is my choice ultimately. To an extent this would be a bigger cloud than not knowing possibly, but I totally see what you're saying @Daffodil21.

I started feeling now like the whole world is collapsing under my feet. Maybe I should have never even got pregnant, nothing is going right.

@PurplePansy05 my darling. Breath. I can't imagine what you're feeling. This baby is a blessing and I can't imagine what you're feeling but babies are resilient and also be positive. You got pregnant for a reason and it's gonna go well. Believe that. Please don't feel this way now. I can't imagine what you're feeling but we're here for you. It will be ok xx

@PurplePansy05 that's not wrong at all. I'm the opposite (within reason), which you could argue is cruel. Of course it's hard to say without actually being put in that situation, and I'm sorry to those of you who have been there. There really is no right or wrong answer when it comes to this topic, you are entitled to feel how you feel, and they should not have taken this decision away from you.

I would give them a call and get them to talk it through with you. It doesn't seem like it's been written very clearly (I am also not surprised by this, having received poorly written letters from NHS before and having to phone up and clarify! I remember saying 'there's 3 different things this letter could mean, which is it??!)

Ask them exactly what the tests are for, and what implications this could have on your current pregnancy. Then I guess the only thing to do is weigh up how you feel about it and decide to either do it now or later?

I'm sorry they've put you in this situation, it really is so shitty of them x

@RunnerGirl123 Yes this sounds similar, not sure if they'd go as far as identifying cancer genes etc. (again, no one explained), but what she said is that the tests are checking genetic sequencing to identify if the two of us in combination may have issues such as MC for genetic reasons (which is what I understood these tests to be) but apparently they can also show if there are issues with this baby if DH + I have some kind of a genetic abnormality. This was never ever explained to me.

I think I'm going to have to disappear for the rest of this pregnancy, it obviously might be the case he isn't right and he might die or I might give him up which might mean I'm not having a baby after all. xx