Pregnant after loss and dreaming of rainbows - 3

[Avocuddles]

Just setting up placeholder for new thread.....

@MrsMGE glad you're feeling a bit more relaxed today. As you say it's all about you and the bean now and making decisions in your interests without worrying too much about anyone else. Pregnancy loss shouldn't be a taboo and the fact that pregnancy after loss is a terrifying experience shouldn't be brushed under the carpet, you have nothing to hide. I found that when I started to open up a bit more about our struggles that plenty of people reached out to me about the challenges that they themselves went through to have a baby, and you're right that anyone of value in your life will support you no matter what.

@didslysquiddlydoo I'll be staring at my stomach later for sure!!!!

@hagster - thanks for updating my weeks... with my son I did a hypnobirthing course and loved it. I ended up with a very medicalised labour and an emergency ventouse, everyone in the room, lights up ending. BUT, I actually found the hypnobirthing really helped with that too. They are techniques you can use for medicalised, c-section, 'natural', whatever. I found a lot of the techniques similar to yoga, and the two combined is great. You don't need a class. The only advice I would give is if you want to breastfeed, do some reading on that. I hadn't, and the support I had was a bit off and on, and I had to mix feed in the end. I would recommend the Jack Newman videos online, and the KellyMom website. The positive breastfeeding book is also great.

@MOGMOGMOG85 I won't try and make you feel better, but just sending a hug. Keeping everything crossed for a positive scan.

@mrsmge I had a 17 week scan on Sunday and am now already anxious about my 20 week one in 2 and a half weeks. I just think this doesn't leave us now, we just need to find our own ways of coping with the anxiety. I had the scan so my husband could see, but it just means dealing with two build ups rather than one. I think it was a good decision to cancel yours. There will be plenty of time to stress over scans without adding in ones you don't want.

@didslysquiddlydoo lovely that you are feeling strong movements. @SunStruck I'm only 17 weeks so nothing yet, but with my son, I had an anterior placenta and didn't really feel strong movements until about 24 weeks. It was really frustrating. This time I have a posterior placenta, so am hoping for earlier movements, but the sonographer still said you often don't feel anything until after 20 weeks. So hang on in there!

It was my due date from my miscarriage on Sunday, and I thought I was dealing with it fine, especially as we had the positive scan for this pregnancy, but this morning I had a big old cry about it and missed my baby that didn't make it. But then felt bad that this current baby wouldn't exist if I had had the last one. And I think it's just too many thoughts and feelings to process. I haven't done anything yet to properly commemerate my loss and I'm not sure what would help. But I think at some point I need to do something.

@didslysquiddlydoo lovely news on the movement! I thought I felt something last night and DH thought he could feel very slight movements too. It was quite lovely to experience the first time together.

@Tmc14 good to know that you found the hypnobirthing useful when you had to have intervention. I'm currently reading up/watching lots of videos on breastfeeding. It's something I really want to do so I'm trying to be well prepared.

I'm sorry that you're struggling, anniversaries and due dates are really hard. We have a tree planted in our garden, but also took part in a snowdrop walk following our 2nd loss, so there are also snowdrops planted in our local park in memory of 2 of our 3. I would say find the thing that makes you feel right, it doesn't have to be big or showy, it can be five minutes of remembrance at home. And don't put any pressure on yourself, it's a hard time xx

Happy Tuesday Ladies!

@MOGMOGMOG85 - Best of luck with your scan tomorrow. Will be thinking of you lovely.

To everyone talking about feeling/seeing movements, it all sounds so exciting!! I cannot wait to get to that point! Im only 13+2 so I'm in the limbo stage now where there's no symptoms really from the 1st trimester, but still too early to see a bump or feel anything. Can't decide which is worse 🙈

Did any of you read any pregnancy books you could recommend? For me and DH? I've still got a massive fear about getting ahead of myself (by even thinking too much about the pregnancy), but equally concerned I can't continue to bury my head in the sand and should at least try to prep myself with some useful knowledge. xx

I broke my tooth!!!
Never a good time to do it but during lockdown when dentists are closed definitely not good!

@MrsMGE happy to hear you're in a better headspace today, you're absolutely right! Who cares... you and your bean are the most important at the moment and everything else can fade to the background!

@didslysquiddlydoo @tmc14 I also have an posterior placenta so I'm hoping for some more distinguishable moves soon! @Avocuddles I also get this feeling that it might be a pop but then nothing else happens so I doubt myself... haha let's hope we start feeling more next week 😄

@MOGMOGMOG85 good luck on your scan tomorrow ❤️

Thank you @tmc14, your words have reassured me. I said to DH that if the 12ws is good news then we'll book the Panorama test which he'll be able to attend. I'd love him to be at a positive scan! I think he's struggling a bit with the idea I'll be going on my own first and it might be bad news, but on the other hand when this happened before he was so gobsmacked and devastated more than I was (I think it took a while to sink in for me) so bless his heart, he wasn't particularly helpful 😂❤️

@SunStruck Yeah, I'll be counting down the Tuesdays (Tuesday is when I'm bang on a full week further along) till my scan. The midwives emailed me today, said to expect a call from them within the next 7-10 days. It's so much easier to complete all the forms online, I actually hope they won't change this going forward!

@MrsMGE glad you have made a decision re the scan and you seem to be feeling more positive about the situation. People tend not to come right out and ask if your pregnant but if they do you can just say it's early days and then they will normally stop asking questions. The most important thing is you and the bean so do what's best for the two of you.

@didslysquiddlydoo @SunStruck that's so exciting, congrats! I am pretty sure I have been feeling flutters for a few weeks (just telling myself that's probably not it to keep hopes in check) and they are getting stronger, this morning in particular I felt a few stronger taps, but still can't feel anything from the outside, just my pulse (anyone else feel really aware of their pulse or just me?!) can't wait til I can see/ feel it externally 😁

I've found the second trimester anxiety isn't as bad as the first, and generally I feel more relaxed day to day, and freak outs are much less common. The bit between 12 week scan and a bump growing/ movement starting is really hard though, you just don't feel pregnant and it's ages til your next scan/ appointment so there's not many milestones to keep you going. Especially in the lockdown where you can't have gender scans as you normally would. I am more able to reason myself out of freak outs at this point as well as I know logically that anything bad coming up on a 20 week scan, after a positive 15 week one, is very unlikely.

Oh and @Rachael321 argh so sorry about your tooth! Are there any emergency dentists available? I hope you get it sorted that sounds painful 💕

Just wanted to say a huge thanks for the welcome to the group and the helpful advice from people. We have made it to 8 weeks and 2 days which is the furthest we've ever got but it does seem an awfully long time till the scan on the 12th June. Hope you are all keeping well and good luck to @Rachael321 , hope you've an emergency dentist near you! I know they are doing emergency work but nothing else round here. Typical, the one time we are all entitled to free dental care and there's no dentists open...

@Vicola I share your feelings, I'm 8 weeks today so very close to you. No news is good news, I'm sticking to this and will deal with bad news (if any) as and when they come!

@didslysquiddlydoo @Avocuddles @TunnocksTcake @MrsMGE @tmc14 @AnxiousLady1 @SunStruck - thank you for your kind words. Those stories of your early weeks actually have made me feel better, although I'm sure only temporarily. I'll know very soon.

@Anon20something I just can't believe what you went through with your previous experience, you (not through choice I know) are so so strong to have got through that. That is the one book I know I want although obviously not ordering until I'm further along.

@Vicola we are on the same dates 8+2. Congrats on passing your previous milestones, that sounds like a really good sign. Unfortunately I will find out tomorrow if I have a live or dead embryo inside (I've opted for a private reassurance scan), terrified... nice to meet you xxx

In other news, since I'm not feeling very nauseous I've been treating myself to a dinner of toasted feta, avocado, red onion, vine tomato and parsley sandwiches, with a drizzle of my favourite very expensive olive oil that I only use on very special occasions as it's so expensive but so damn delicious (Iliada if anyone else is into their olive oil!). Not thrilled to be so un-nauseous just before my scan, but it is nice to enjoy something - the avocado in particular is going down a treat!

@Mogmogmog85 that sounds like a delicious sandwich. I've got an avo ripening at the moment, I'm hoping that I can manage some avo on toast! It's one of my favourite things, but the aversions and sickness are still going strong this week.
Try not to worry about not having nausea, symptoms are so up and down! So many women (all of whom I dislike) don't have any nausea or sickness in pregnancy.

Best of luck for tomorrow, I sincerely hope it goes well x

@MOGMOGMOG85 aw thank you! Hands down the hardest but most amazing thing I’ve ever done. She was worth it. Good luck for your scan tomorrow x

@TunnocksTcake @Vicola thanks for the wishes. Not able to see a dentist, they not clasisng it as emergency!! Sent to the chemist for temporary filling repair kit! DIY dentistry 🙈🙈

@Racheal321 really??? How is a broken tooth not an emergency? I hope you're coping ok, I'm struggling enough with sensitive teeth never mind a broken one!

@knotemma I have no idea, only seeing emergencies involving severe infection, bleeding or trauma! Strangely this happened to my mum when she was pregnant with me! Dentist told her baby was taking all the calcium which has worried me slightly!! Thankfully it doesnt hurt

@Rachael321 today must be the day for dental issues, was just sat drinking tea in front of the tv when I tasted blood in my mouth and was bleeding from the gum between two front teeth! Apparently it's super common in pregnancy (and probably made worse by my blood thinners) but as you say it's frustrating not being able to get to the dentist! Has anyone else suffered this?

I chipped a tooth just before lockdown and was told there wasn't much they would do whilst I was pregnant other than pop a temporary filling over the top. If you're not getting any pain it should all be fine but if it does start hurting make sure you give them a call....

Thanks so much for everyone's advice and thoughts, really helpful and very much appreciated! And @Anon20something thank you so much for the book recommendation, I am definitely sold, thank you for sharing with us ♥️

Updating my weeks. Can't believe I'm officially half way there ... I'm going to make celebratory flapjacks!

@Bellsx 23wks (due 20/08/20)⁣
@Rachael321 23wks (due 20/08/20)⁣
@Pugmum19 18wks (due 31/08/20)⁣
@UrsulaSings 17wks (due 07/09/20)⁣
@Hoping2020 19wks (due 13/09/20)⁣
@SammiLou2312 20wks⁣ (due 17/09/20)⁣
@Knotemma 20wks⁣ (due 23/09/20)⁣
@LilMrsS 19wks (due 24/09/20)⁣
@didslysquiddlydoo 19wks due 26/09/20)⁣
@TunnocksTcake 19wks (due 26/09/20)⁣
@avocuddles 19wks (due 27/09/20)⁣
@Sunflower1608 19wks with twins (due 28/09/20)⁣
@SunStruck 19wks (due 28/09/20)⁣⁣
@Scout20 19wks (due 29/09/20)⁣
@Littlegoth 18wks (due 30/09/20)⁣
@HighHopes20 16wks (due 03/10/20)⁣⁣
@Treaclepie19 17wks (due 07/10/20)⁣⁣
@Aria2015 10wks⁣
@tmc14 17wks (due 11/10/20)⁣
@Hagster 17wks (due 12/10/20)⁣⁣
@seaduck 12wks (due 17/10/20)⁣
@DressingGown87 13wks (due 20/10/20)⁣
@rachelrainbow 11wks (due 1/11/20)⁣
@teaandtantrums90 13wks (due 05/11/20)⁣
@AnxiousLady1 13wks (due 07/11/20)⁣
@Shefliesonherownwings 13wks (due 09/11/20)⁣
@Whiffle77 8wks (due 04/12/20)⁣
@MOGMOGMOG85 8wks (due 13/12/20)

Updating mine too. Congrats on half way @Knotemma!!

@Bellsx 23wks (due 20/08/20)⁣
@Rachael321 23wks (due 20/08/20)⁣
@Pugmum19 18wks (due 31/08/20)⁣
@UrsulaSings 17wks (due 07/09/20)⁣
@Hoping2020 19wks (due 13/09/20)⁣
@SammiLou2312 20wks⁣ (due 17/09/20)⁣
@Knotemma 20wks⁣ (due 23/09/20)⁣
@LilMrsS 19wks (due 24/09/20)⁣
@didslysquiddlydoo 19wks due 26/09/20)⁣
@TunnocksTcake 19wks (due 26/09/20)⁣
@avocuddles 19wks (due 27/09/20)⁣
@Sunflower1608 19wks with twins (due 28/09/20)⁣
@SunStruck 19wks (due 28/09/20)⁣⁣
@Scout20 19wks (due 29/09/20)⁣
@Littlegoth 18wks (due 30/09/20)⁣
@HighHopes20 16wks (due 03/10/20)⁣⁣
@Treaclepie19 18wks (due 07/10/20)⁣⁣
@Aria2015 10wks⁣
@tmc14 17wks (due 11/10/20)⁣
@Hagster 17wks (due 12/10/20)⁣⁣
@seaduck 12wks (due 17/10/20)⁣
@DressingGown87 13wks (due 20/10/20)⁣
@rachelrainbow 11wks (due 1/11/20)⁣
@teaandtantrums90 13wks (due 05/11/20)⁣
@AnxiousLady1 13wks (due 07/11/20)⁣
@Shefliesonherownwings 13wks (due 09/11/20)⁣
@Whiffle77 8wks (due 04/12/20)⁣
@MOGMOGMOG85 8wks (due 13/12/20)

@knotemma thank you for your very kind message. I have planted a lot of lily of the valley in our garden, which is the flower for May birthdays, so maybe that is enough. I will definitely give it more thought. I don't want it to be showy or anything, just something for myself. Also enjoy the flapjack! Half way there, so exciting.

@rachael321 I can't believe they wouldn't see you for a broken tooth! How did the DIY dentistry go? @Avocuddles I get a lot of bleeding gums, and did in my last (successful) pregnancy. The dentist said it was fine, but I really wish I could get a check up now just to be sure. It's very frustrating not being able to access these things.

I had my consultant appointment this morning (16 week appointment a bit late). Because of my last birth (ventouse after a very long and slow labour, baby in distress, I suffered a 3b tear & episiotomy, was all a bit awful), I'm consultant led, also because of my age. They don't want me to go past 40 weeks, and I'll be straight to labour ward, with a very hands on approach. I'm fine with it, I knew it would be like that, but I am a bit sad I won't get to experience a 'nice' labour... I had really hoped for a home birth with my first. I know it's small fry compared to bringing home a healthy baby, but it's something I'll have to get my head around, and hope it's not too medicalised.

Hope everyone is enjoying some sunshine today. xx

@MOGMOGMOG85 good luck for your scan, I've got everything crossed for you, I really really hope it goes well l. Keep us posted.
@MrsMGE hi and nice to meet you! It's so nerve wracking this early stage isn't it? Every twinge, every pain is worrying and every time you go to the loo you wonder if there'll be blood. All the crap symptoms and none of the excitement because you don't dare. Hopefully we will all be fine and it'll work out, we're all due some luck this time!

@Vicola I know exactly what you're talking about. I feel the same. It's good to know that at least we're in this together