Thank you all so much for your kind responses. I'm sorry I don't have the energy to respond to each one of you individually but I am so thankful, it means a lot to have people who understand, I haven't been able to bring myself to tell anyone else.
I had a tiny bit of dark red/brown spotting, then after a bowel movement I wiped and had a tissue full of dark and bright red blood. With a bit of stringy tissue. It's not flowing like a period, I'm just wearing a panty liner. But the fact there was some bright red there feels bad. I am also having dull period pains although sometimes I convince myself it is digestive pain, I don't have a very strong grip on objective reality right now so I don't know what to think.
After a very annoying exchange with the hospital where a male doctor told me I was probably miscarrying and there was nothing they could do so I should just continue at home, they have said I can come in at 9am tomorrow for a scan.
My sister has therapy regularly but she lives on her own and is really suffering from isolation. She has had long term depression, divorced her husband and rebounded straight into an abusive relationship, and now she's left him and moved city so it was all looking up. But she is still so low and told me she wants to die but knows she can't go through with it because she has tried before. I don't want to make her problems all about me but it was so hard to hear and hard to know what to say. I want to help but I just don't know how. I am thinking about telling her I'm bleeding so that she feels I'm not holding her at arms length. But also I don't want to upset her further. I suppose she'll find out in the end anyway.
Hope you are all doing ok. X