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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Pregnant after loss and dreaming of rainbows - 3

975 replies

Avocuddles · 13/04/2020 22:11

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Doughnut100 · 23/04/2020 17:27

Thank you all so much for your kind responses. I'm sorry I don't have the energy to respond to each one of you individually but I am so thankful, it means a lot to have people who understand, I haven't been able to bring myself to tell anyone else.

I had a tiny bit of dark red/brown spotting, then after a bowel movement I wiped and had a tissue full of dark and bright red blood. With a bit of stringy tissue. It's not flowing like a period, I'm just wearing a panty liner. But the fact there was some bright red there feels bad. I am also having dull period pains although sometimes I convince myself it is digestive pain, I don't have a very strong grip on objective reality right now so I don't know what to think.

After a very annoying exchange with the hospital where a male doctor told me I was probably miscarrying and there was nothing they could do so I should just continue at home, they have said I can come in at 9am tomorrow for a scan.

My sister has therapy regularly but she lives on her own and is really suffering from isolation. She has had long term depression, divorced her husband and rebounded straight into an abusive relationship, and now she's left him and moved city so it was all looking up. But she is still so low and told me she wants to die but knows she can't go through with it because she has tried before. I don't want to make her problems all about me but it was so hard to hear and hard to know what to say. I want to help but I just don't know how. I am thinking about telling her I'm bleeding so that she feels I'm not holding her at arms length. But also I don't want to upset her further. I suppose she'll find out in the end anyway.

Hope you are all doing ok. X

Shefliesonherownwings · 23/04/2020 17:44

We had our booking in appointment today, over the phone. Spoke to a lovely midwife about everything and she has referred us to the consultant that was recommended to us and has some experience in stillbirth. She wrote a paper on it a while ago. She's also referred me to the MH midwife team for extra support during the pregnancy which will be good. We have a date for our 12 week scan so just over a week to wait until that now.

@Doughnut100 I'm glad you've got a scan tomorrow. I cannot believe the insensitivity of some people, that doctor doesn't sound supportive at all. I will be thinking of you and keeping everything crossed for a positive outcome.

Whiffle77 · 23/04/2020 19:01

I'm really glad you have an early scan @Doughnut100 try not to worry too much until then, just rest up as much as possible. It's hard to hear other people's problems when you are feeling so awful yourself, I think she would understand that if you explained. Can she look I to any phone counselling? Good luck tomorrow.

Pleased you have had such a positive experience @Shefliesonherownwings and that you are getting the support you need - has it helped at all?

TunnocksTcake · 23/04/2020 19:04

@Doughnut100 so so sorry you are going through this at the worst possible time. ❤️ I had a similar response from my dr and midwife when I had spotting at 15 weeks and it felt so heartless of them, though it kind of makes sense if it were a miscarriage, especially with covid going on, the point is you don't know if it is and for the sake of your mh you should be able to find out what's going on!
I don't know if this applied to you but I had a D&C with my MMC that was found at 12 weeks last year and My midwife told me that sometimes it makes your cervix more sensitive and can cause spotting in your next pregnancy. It could be an old small cut reopening or something so try not to lose all hope, as hard as that is.
Hang in there, I will be thinking of you 💕

@Shefliesonherownwings I was worried about stress after losing my dad just before I fell pregnant and everything has been fine. It actually happened as the baby would have been conceived and I am amazed it didn't hinder ovulation or implantation 🤷🏻‍♀️ as others have said I think it's serious ongoing stress so try not to worry💕

Shefliesonherownwings · 23/04/2020 20:14

@Whiffle77 thanks. Yes I'm feeling better about things today. I'm really pleased we got referred to the consultant we wanted to see and that there will be extra support from the MH team. Just need to get a grip on the anxiety until the 12 week scan.

@TunnocksTcake thanks, I'm starting to realise now that I've spent the last almost 6 months dealing with the loss of DD yet we still managed to get pregnant and so far everything seems ok so hopefully no adverse effects on the baby. I know they are robust little things. I'm trying to think of this baby as a little gift from DD and that she will help keep it safe. Silly I know but it brings me a little bit of comfort.

Whiffle77 · 23/04/2020 21:23

That doesn't sound silly at all, that's a lovely and special way to look at it. Glad you feel a bit better today.

MysteriousSheep · 23/04/2020 21:40

Just catching up on the thread. I’ve been so tired since going back to work, even though I’m doing easy ‘office’ hours instead of the usual 13hr shifts and nightshifts. Good thing about working is that it takes my mind off worrying about the pregnancy. Am 9+2 now, and convinced that when I next get a scan I’ll find another mmc. I had a hospital antenatal appointment last week and the consultant was lovely and did say I can have scans whenever I want (I think because I work there!) - however I’m trying to wait til my 12 week scan now because I know that early scans only provide very temporary reassurance for me.

@Doughnut100 so so sorry to hear what you’re going through, and I will be thinking of you tomorrow morning when you get your scan and hoping so much for good news. I know it’s so easy to assume the worst, but odds are that everything will be fine, bleeding is really common, as the others on this thread have said.

@Shefliesonherownwings am really pleased you’re getting good support from both your family and from the maternity services. Grieving your DD is natural and healthy and having those thoughts and emotions will not harm your current baby in any way.

@SammiLou2312 I know it was a couple pages back now, but I’ve got to say I am so impressed with your nursery paintings!

MOGMOGMOG85 · 23/04/2020 22:16

@Doughnut100 I'm thinking of you and crossing everything for your scan tomorrow. What a horribly worrying time :( I'm sending you a big hug right now, and please do let us know how you're doing if you need any support on here :( xxx

tmc14 · 24/04/2020 07:14

@Doughnut100 I’m so sorry you’ve got the stress of some bleeding, your ill sister & insensitive doctors. Keeping everything crossed for you for the scan today xxx

AnxiousLady1 · 24/04/2020 07:26

Morning all. Have my 12 week scan at 11. Wish me luck. I'm sick with nerves.

MrsMGE · 24/04/2020 07:37

@AnxiousLady1 You've done SO well, lovely! Will be thinking of you today and look forward to your update later. Remember, you're not alone! ❤️❤️❤️

SunStruck · 24/04/2020 07:48

@Doughnut100 I am so sorry to hear you're so worried now due to the bleeding! I completely understand what that must be like 😢 sending all my love and crossing my fingers for a good scan ❤️ thinking of you.

@AnxiousLady1 good luck on your scan today! 😄

Whiffle77 · 24/04/2020 08:00

Good luck today @Doughnut100 and @AnxiousLady1

didslysquiddlydoo · 24/04/2020 08:51

Good luck to @AnxiousLady1 and @Doughnut100 for your scans this morning!!! Thinking of you both xx

1stbabs · 24/04/2020 09:17

@AnxiousLady1 @Doughnut100 wishing you lots of luck today x

Knotemma · 24/04/2020 09:18

@Doughnut100 I hope everything this morning goes well for you, everything crossed for positive news

@AnxiousLady1 best of luck, I hope you have a lovely calm positive scan today

SammiLou2312 · 24/04/2020 09:45

@AnxiousLady1 and @Doughnut100 wishing you both all the best for your scans today. Thinking of you both x

Littlegoth · 24/04/2020 10:11

@AnxiousLady1 and @Doughnut100 all the best for your scans today xx

Doughnut100 · 24/04/2020 10:33

Thank you all for your support. My baby stopped growing at 8 weeks same as my last mmc. I will stop checking this thread now. Wishing you all the best with your pregnancies. X

SammiLou2312 · 24/04/2020 11:02

So sorry to hear your news Doughnut...I'm not going to tag you as I don't want to force notify you but please be kind to yourself and I wish you all the best for the future xx

MrsMGE · 24/04/2020 11:07

Oh Doughnut... ❤️ My heart really breaks for you, lovely. I'm terribly sorry, this is so awfully unfair. I'm sending you all the love and strength in the world right now ❤️ xxx

Anon20something · 24/04/2020 11:18

I am so so sorry. Sending so much love your way. Take care ❤️

Whiffle77 · 24/04/2020 11:49

I am so sorry to hear you news, sending you lots of strength...look after yourself xx

Shefliesonherownwings · 24/04/2020 11:58

Doughnut I am so so sorry. Life is so incredibly cruel. Sending you lots of love and strength. Please be kind to yourself. Thinking of you. Xxx

AnxiousLady1 · 24/04/2020 12:20

Hi all. Just a quick note to say all went very well my side. Baby looking good and was given really low risk assessment, which was encouraging. Thanks so much to everyone that supported me during my panic over the last few days. Id prepred myself for bad news so Im in excited disbelief. Xx

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