Pregnant after loss and dreaming of rainbows - 3

[Avocuddles]

Just setting up placeholder for new thread.....

@Treaclepie19 congratulations on 16 weeks! That's a big milestone ☺️. Glad to here you had a positive hypnobirthing experience. I think for the sake of £40 I'm going to bite the bullet and pay for the digital pack, I've read lots of reviews and I like the idea that DH can be involved, especially because he's so gutted about missing the anatomy scan. I'm really hoping I can record a few bits for him, but I know it depends on the hospital

Thank you all so much for your lovely words of understanding and support. My MIL rang last night to tell us about the baby so I told her I'd already seen it on SM. She was lovely, and we had a good cry together on the phone which actually made me feel better, I really needed to just let it all out. DH was lovely too and looked after me.

I've woken up today feeling better. I also slept better so hopefully today is brighter. Hugs to all. X

@Shefliesonherownwings so pleased that you're feeling better today. I do think finding out on Social Media can be especially difficult, because it's obviously a very positive excited post, whereas finding out in a more personal way can be a lot more sensitive (if delivered the right way). I'm glad you managed a good cry, getting it all out is (I find) healthy and healing, rather than bottling things up.

I wouldn't worry to much about "stress" being back for baby. Being emotional and working through those emotions is much better for you than holding everything in 💓 be kind to yourself

Morning everyone, lots of lovely posts the last few days!
@Avocuddles I really hope you and your DH are feeling much better, that sounds very scary! Hope you have managed to get some rest after all you working.
@SunStruck that is such a cute bump! Love seeing all your bump pictures
@SammiLou2312 that is such a beautiful picture, wow you are both really talented! I love winnie the pooh. So gorgeous!
@Shefliesonherownwings glad you are feeling better today and that you have such a lovely MIL, that sounds very comforting. It's hard seeing other peopls announcements because you know it's a happy time in it's own right, it just brings up such hard emotions. But that's ok, we are all entitled to feel what we feel.
@knotemma enjoying your planning, I am a super planner myself so really looking forward to getting later in my pregnancy so I can feel a bit happier planning for myself!

I've been up and down this week, but today is a good day so far so I am taking it. The weather is helping and work is slightly less relentless than it was. I will be 8 weeks on Friday and have a scan on sunday. I feel nervous and excited. I've had no spotting at all which has helped my anxiety, but I feel oh so very sick all the time and very tired! Sleeping 9-10 hours per night and having a twenty min afternoon lie down and still tired! Waking up every hour for a wee though which isn't helping. Trying to keep nausea at bay with sickness bands and eating little and often...some days works better than others.

Hope you all have a lovely day

Thanks for compliments ladies. Much appreciated. We are so please with how it's coming along...

@whiffle77 good luck for your scan. With regards to the tiredness...for the entirety of my first trimester from around 5/6 weeks I couldn't get past 5pm without a nap. I would literally crash mid conversation sometimes lol! It eased off a little bit in second trimester, got a little more energy for a while but have noticed I'm getting more tired again now (turn 19 weeks tomorrow). All I can say is if you can, nap when you need to. Your body and brain will thank you x

Hi ladies I hope you’re all okay! Such a scary time at the min, anxiety has been getting the best of me so decided to get a private scan at 16 weeks to check in and let husband see baby too. All my scans with lily brought bad news, so I get so scared but everything was fine and we found out baby no 2 is a boy! 18 weeks on Saturday, still terrified but just trying to enjoy it!

Love reading all you ladies' stories... so nice to think of all your pregnancies at the same time as mine, it really helps me feel less isolated.

@Sunflower1608 you are a superhero!

@MOGMOGMOG85 I love hearing about your job. Hope your boss is understanding about that leaf-blower though. Don't worry at all about a limited diet. I am mainly on cereal, toast and biscuits and I've given myself a free pass until I feel better. Actually I weighed myself this morning for the first time since my BFP and as a nice surprise I've only put on 2lb. I was already a bit chubby from Christmas and I was expecting to have gained loads more because of my need to constantly eat carbs and my complete lack of exercise. So that feels like a win. The baby takes what it needs. My mum was so sick with me she barely ate at all.

@avocuddles glad DH is feeling better

@sunstruck lovely bump!

@Shefliesonherownwings it's tough, as other have said you must allow yourself to feel what you feel and that's ok... your family sound nice and understanding.

I had a weird one yesterday, I sliced the end of my finger making apple pie and my partner superglued it for me. I'm not squeamish at all and there wasn't that much blood but I went totally woozy, saw stars like a cartoon and thought I was going to vomit and pass out. It was like my body had a reaction to seeing the blood that my brain wasn't part of. Very strange and I think must be because I'm pregnant. Then afterwards I freaked out about having used superglue while pregnant. Definitely shouldn't have googled that as it's done now, in the heat of the moment we didn't think.

5 days until my 12w scan... honestly I am feeling optimistic, but I catch myself feeling too confident every now and again and worry about all the bad news we could receive. Really hoping it is good news and that I'm able to relax a bit more after.

Hi all,
So much news! Love all the bump photos, very cute. I do have a bump but it just looks like a fat gut at the moment :-) I'm in that weird bit between my jeans being too tight but maternity jeans too big... Luckily I guess in a lockdown yoga trousers are fine all the time.

@Avocuddles You really aren't having good luck health wise! Poor you and poor DH. I'm glad he's doing ok. Very scary to have to call the paramedics though.

@SammiLou2312 Beautiful nursery decoration, you're both very talented.

@Shefliesonherownwings In terms of stress, what I've read is that it only possibly affects the baby if it's something like severe long term abuse, or war, or similar, and then it only might be affected. So grieving for your daughter won't do anything bad. Really good you're being looked after.

@Whiffle77 Good luck with the scan!

@anon20something Lovely photo and congratulations on having a boy!

@Knotemma Planning and getting things is fun. I've got everything from my son so don't really need much. I'll get a few new clothes I think, and we had a very old third hand pram last time which was rubbish, so we're going to get a new (or new to us) one. Choosing is so hard. We live in London, so need a city friendly one, but we go out to the forest/countryside a lot, so need something a bit offroady. It's really hard to choose. I've used a few second hand one since having my son but I've not loved any of them.

Hope everyone is having a good week. My two year old is being very very tricky this week. I think it's partly his age, and partly being on lockdown is just so alien to his normal life (apart from being with me all the time) that he's struggling.

I got the results from the NIPT, negative!! We are so relieved! We also found out we're having a girl, which I was 90% sure of due to the nub in my 12 week scan photo haha :)

I have a NHS scan at 16 weeks booked in, after we will tell family. We are waiting until 20 week scan to tell friends, even though we don't have to worry about t13,18 or 21 we just want to be completely sure all is well before telling everyone. Plus it is a lot easier to hide a pregnancy right now :)

@Bananamuffin99 that's great news! Totally understand your caution about telling people, especially when like you say it's so easy to keep things quiet at the moment. I'm in a weird place where I'm not really sure who does and doesn't know 😂. I know it's filtered out to aunties and uncles family wise (which I'm totally comfortable with), but I'm really not sure if some of our friends know 🤷‍♀️ I feel like there could be some hilarious conversations when lock down eases

Updating my weeks - 19 weeks today!

@Bellsx 21wks (due 20/08/20)
@Rachael321 21wks (due 20/08/20)
@Pugmum19 18wks (due 31/08/20)
@UrsulaSings 17wks (due 07/09/20)
@Hoping2020 19wks (due 13/09/20)
@SammiLou2312 19wks⁣ (due 17/09/20)
@Knotemma 18wks⁣ (due 23/09/20)
@LilMrsS 17wks (due 24/09/20)
@didslysquiddlydoo 17wks due 26/09/20)
@TunnocksTcake 17wks (due 26/09/20)
@avocuddles 17wks (due 27/09/20)
@Sunflower1608 17wks with twins (due 28/09/20)
@SunStruck 17wks (due 28/09/20)⁣
@Scout20 14wks (due 29/09/20)
@Littlegoth 16wks (due 30/09/20)
@HighHopes20 16wks (due 03/10/20)⁣
@Treaclepie19 16wks (due 07/10/20)⁣
@Aria2015 10wks
@tmc14 15wks (due 11/10/20)
@Hagster 13wks (due 12/10/20)⁣
@seaduck 12wks (due 17/10/20)
@DressingGown87 13wks (20/10/20)
@rachelrainbow (11 weeks, due 1/11/20)
@Doughnut100 11 wks(due 05/11/20)
@teaandtantrums90 10 wks (due 07/11/20)
@Shefliesonherownwings 9 wks (due 10/11/20)
@MOGMOGMOG85 6 wks (due 13/12/20)

Missed updating last week!! 23 weeks today 🥰🥰 still quite a wee bump but feeling lots more wriggling and kicking!

@Bellsx 23 wks (due 20/08/20)
@Rachael321 23 wks (due 20/08/20)
@Pugmum19 18wks (due 31/08/20)
@UrsulaSings 17wks (due 07/09/20)
@Hoping2020 19wks (due 13/09/20)
@SammiLou2312 19wks⁣ (due 17/09/20)
@Knotemma 18wks⁣ (due 23/09/20)
@LilMrsS 17wks (due 24/09/20)
@didslysquiddlydoo 17wks due 26/09/20)
@TunnocksTcake 17wks (due 26/09/20)
@avocuddles 17wks (due 27/09/20)
@Sunflower1608 17wks with twins (due 28/09/20)
@SunStruck 17wks (due 28/09/20)⁣
@Scout20 14wks (due 29/09/20)
@Littlegoth 16wks (due 30/09/20)
@HighHopes20 16wks (due 03/10/20)⁣
@Treaclepie19 16wks (due 07/10/20)⁣
@Aria2015 10wks
@tmc14 15wks (due 11/10/20)
@Hagster 13wks (due 12/10/20)⁣
@seaduck 12wks (due 17/10/20)
@DressingGown87 13wks (20/10/20)
@rachelrainbow (11 weeks, due 1/11/20)
@Doughnut100 11 wks(due 05/11/20)
@teaandtantrums90 10 wks (due 07/11/20)
@Shefliesonherownwings 9 wks (due 10/11/20)
@MOGMOGMOG85 6 wks (due 13/12/20)

I'm spotting. This is how it happened the first time. After sex. Just a bit pink. I have mild period pains which wouldn't have worried me a few days ago but they do now. I have my 12w scan on Monday afternoon. The EPU told me to leave it 24 hours and call tomorrow if it's worse. I know spotting can be fine but that is empty reassurance to me as it's happened before. This is almost exactly the same in terms of timing before my 12w scan. Last time I started spotting on Friday, EPU was closed over the weekend, and I had a scan on Monday confirming mmc, just two days before my scheduled 12w scan. I just don't want to go through five days of trying to convince myself it's fine again before finding out it's not. I'm in bits. My sister told me two days ago that she is suicidal which is incredibly upsetting and I don't know what to do to help her. The only way I can see myself getting to Monday is by trying not to think about it at all and not talking to anyone except my partner. I can't bear to hope it's ok or to think about the worst. I can't face TTC again and going through the first 12 weeks again but I can't imagine never being a mother. My whole extended family knows AGAIN through no fault of my own and I can't face talking to them all about it. I just want to go to sleep and for it not to be happening. Really sorry if this is horrible to read for any ladies.

@Doughnut100 so sorry you're going through this, particularly when your sister is obviously in a very bad place too.

I know it's an empty reassurance, but pink spotting could be from your cervix if it's a bit sensitive. I know how hard it is to keep any positive thoughts in your head right now, I was in a very similar situation at 13 weeks with a bright red bleed on the Friday and had to wait until the Monday, it was an awful weekend, but everything was fine and there was no obvious cause of the bleed. Try to be kind to yourself and take care, sending you lots of positive thoughts x

@Doughnut100 I'm so sorry this has happened and has made you so worried. Particularly with the difficult time your sister is going through also. I'd be inclined to agree with @Knotemma that it sounds like an irritation of your cervix. But appreciate there is very little anyone can say at this point to ease your worry. Please be kind to yourself and do what you can over the next couple of days to try to take your mind off of it. When I've felt particularly anxious about this pregnancy I've found that keeping myself as busy as possible has helped. Otherwise I go down rabbit holes of negative thoughts. Much as I dislike my job 90% of the time, working has really helped to distract me. Continue to share your thoughts and concerns over next couple of days. Everyone here wants to offer their support where they can and have an understanding of the worry you are experiencing. Xx

@Doughnut100 I'm so sorry you're having this worry and stress and sorry to hear your sister is struggling too.

It is so hard I know not to imagine the worst when you have been through it previously. Once you have been through that loss it's incredibly difficult not to imagine it all happening again.

But this is a new pregnancy, new sperm and egg and a new baby so try to focus on that. I've heard that sex certainly can cause some bleeding with no danger to the baby at all. We're all here for you so please post on here if you need to talk and I will keep everything crossed for you. Do you think you can get a scan tomorrow at the EPU?

Oh @Doughnut100 I'm so sorry to hear you having such a tough time!
Has your sister talked to anyone else at all? That is a lot for you to deal with on your own, especially when you have other things going on for yourself.
I can't say anything the other girls haven't already stressed, I know how easy it is to think the worst though and I'm so sorry you are going through this. I would try EPU tomorrow again regardless, at least it may then give you some comfort if you have a scan and you can still have your twelve weeks. It would be really unlikely that exactly the same thing happened both times but I know you won't find a comfort in that right now.
Hope that you manage to distract yourself today and don't have any more bleeding. And keep talking on here if you need to!

Oh @Doughnut100 I'm so sorry to read this ❤️❤️❤️ Nothing that we say will bring you the comfort and reassurance that you need right now. All I will say is that we'd all feel the same in your position and from the bottom of my heart, I feel for you so much right now. There's no way of avoiding this deja vu feeling in such circumstances. Remember you're not alone, it's not just you and your partner in it, as although of course the two of you are most affected. But we do understand and please talk to us when you feel like it ❤️❤️❤️ I'm sending you a huge hug and wishing time flies so you can get the answers you need as soon as possible. Keeping everything crossed for a positive outcome 🤞

Re your sister, I'm sorry too. Is she under specialist care? Is there a chance she cpuld access online counselling now?

xxx

@Doughnut100 so sorry to hear you are going through a hard time atm. I know it is easy to say, but every pregnancy is different. Sending positive thoughts your way x

12 weeks tomorrow and nausea still hasn't gone feeling sooo down specially during this lockdown....when did peoples sickness stop really cannot see the end of the tunnel.

@doughnut100 so sorry to hear what you are going through....keep doing what you are doing and take it small step at a time praying all goes well

@Ibaadsmummy I was quite fortunate in that I didn't really get sickness just bad nausea...that seemed to ease off around 14 weeks for me but I know it can be different for different pregnancies. Hope you are doing ok and congratulations for 12 weeks tomorrow x

@Doughnut100 so sorry to hear you're having such a hard time. I'm sure you must be so stressed what with this and your sister. I would call the EPU again in the morning and ask to be scanned again so that you don't have the long wait. We will all have our fingers crossed for you 🤞❤️

@Doughnut100 I’m so sorry, is there any way you could ring them back or your mw and just explain how worried you are and see if they would see you a bit earlier? Hopefully just for some reassurance, it’s a totally different pregnancy and having a little bit just after sex is normal and can just be irritation. Fingers crossed for you xxx

Ah @Doughnut100 I'm so sorry :( what awful timing for you to be spotting at exactly the time you'd be most anxious. I can only say that pink spotting is certainly not anything to worry about on its own, but I know it'll be the wait that is killing you - waiting to see if it gets better or worse. How are things now??

Also that sounds so difficult with your sister. There is not much we can do for others when they reach that low stage. Is there anyone else you can be in touch with to share the load and discuss what you might do for her?

xxx