Pregnant after loss and dreaming of rainbows - 2

[Avocuddles]

Just setting up a new thread to keep the 🌈 conversation going....

Oops, didn't mean to put my name. It's automatic after doing so many work emails! Don't suppose it matters really!

Hello,
Just wanted to share my view on early scans... I did have a scan at EGU at 7 weeks, I’m lucky it was before the pandemic hit & also my EGU scan you even after one miscarriage. I didn’t really find it reassuring as I’d had a good early scan in my last pregnancy that ended in miscarriage. I couldn’t decide whether to book a private scan at 10 weeks as 5 weeks in between scans seemed like such a long time. But, I’m really pleased I didn’t. My 12 week scan is this afternoon, it’s been a really long 5 weeks 3 days, but I’ve just slowly ticked off the days, not told anyone, not really wanted to talk about it yet, and haven’t made any plans with my husband. That for me has meant my anxiety has actually been kept in check. I’ve been on a fairly even keel for that time. I think, as an anxiety sufferer, I would have coped much less well with the anxiety before a scan, the short time if feeling better if all was well, then the worry of things going wrong again. Everyone is different and I can only speak for me, but if getting private scans is tricky, then please know that time will go slowly but it might not be as stressful as it sounds!
No idea if that helps anyone but thought I’d share my experience x

@TunnocksTcake I read on the Tommy's site that pregnant women should be offered a scan two weeks after their symptoms end but when I mentioned it to my midwife she said it was the first she'd heard of it! She said she'll drop a note to my consultant at the hospital and see what he thinks so just have to wait and see I guess.
Completely understand why you want a scan sooner rather later - I would be exactly the same in your shoes. I just wish that the hospital would be willing to see you given you have experienced bleeding, they would definitely be the best placed to ensure you get a thorough investigation! This whole situation and the reduced care on offer to us all truly is rubbish.....

@tmc14 good luck for this afternoon! Hope you have a really positive experience.

@Avocuddles they really should give you a scan, considering that, although it seems there’s very little risk, they don’t know for sure. Fingers crossed your consultant helps!
Thank you, I’m feeling ok, hoping for the best, knowing that it could go the other way. Weirdly zen for me!!! Will update later.

Hope everyone is doing ok. These are such stressful times for all, but especially for us I think. We need extra reassurance and it feels like they’ve removed it, as if it’s not vital care.

We have a scan booked for this Saturday with Window to the Womb. They seem to be the only ones still doing private scans. I'm 8+5 today and we don't yet have a date for our 12 weeks scan. My booking in appointment will be at 11 weeks so I suspect I won't get a scan until 13 weeks.

I just can't wait until then to see the baby. I need to know what's happening in there, good or bad as I'm really worrying things are going wrong. I've no basis for that but it's just my anxiety. Will let you know how I find Window to the Womb after Saturday morning.

@tmc14 Good luck for your scan later today lovely.

I get what most of you are saying about window to the womb however it is the only place in my area that is open whether that is right or wrong im not sure. They are only doing reassurance scans at the moment and not gender reveal or 4F scans as they say these are not clinically needed.

Whether or not we get to attend will depend on wednesday I guess.

*4D

I went to Window to the Womb and had a positive experience, but I totally agree with what others have said on here - my experience may have been different had I had a negative outcome. I did ensure that on my notes when booking I explicitly mentioned previous MMC and negative scan elsewhere. I also mentioned needing the scan for reassurance because of previous MMC on my notes when I arrived. I think they did take that on board, as the sonographer said at the start that she would be silent for the first few moments, while she got a good look at everything. She knew I was super anxious and I think she was trying to reassure me to not read into her initial silence. I guess it can also depend on which branch you visit/sonographer you get.

@Sunflower1608 thanks for the reply, i have been trying to do as little as poss around work. While at work i am super conscious of what im doing and taking it easy xx

Just a quick note to say all went fine with my scan. Phew! Measuring 13w 1d, so a few days ahead of what I thought. Thank you for the good wishes. Off for a cup of tea and a sit down now x

@tmc14 Brilliant news! In a time where we are all so filled with so much worry (between pregnancy and coronavirus), I very much love seeing the positive updates on this forum. x

Ah @tmc14 that is such good news, congratulations!!

@TunnocksTcake I'm so sorry about your situation and having to wait for a scan. Its just so much stress to go through. I hope you're finding ways to distract yourself, nurture yourself and stay calm xx

@MissSparkles81 that definitely sounds like a good sign that your bleeding is slowing/getting darker. I've only had the one mc but in my experience it simply got heavier very steadily over a period of 4 days, def didn't slow down. So stressful though, I'm crossing my fingers and thinking of you :( xx

@bananamuffin99 I hate window to the womb! All the pink and blue and baby pictures plastered all over the walls was just awful for us when we had our previous 8 week scan. They were so bad at their jobs (couldn't find the pregnancy and sent me off saying it might be ectopic, when the lady at the EPU found it straight away and gave me all the info, also she spent that 8 minutes jamming the scanner hard into my cervix, it was so painful, I've had loads and loads of scans now for fibroids and the miscarriage and never has anyone done that), didn't speak to me at all for about 8 minutes which felt like a lifetime, were not welcoming, spoke in jargon and I left feeling so negative and terrified. Everyone just seemed really shocked that I might be experiencing an ectopic pregnancy or a miscarriage as though they'd never heard of such a thing before, it was bizarre. I much preferred the attitude of the EPU ladies, sympathetic but also straightforward and reassuring about my chances for the future, as well as giving me loads of info and checking my general womb/ovaries to reassure me they looked good. I know @Avocuddles you had a really bad experience too...

I hate them so much (sorry I know that's a strong word, I think I hate the place really and never want to go back there), and am in a real quandary - do I go there for a scan at 8 weeks for reassurance? Or will it actually cause me more anxiety the idea of going back there? I think honestly having to go there again would be awful for me... I'm presuming I wont get a reassurance scan on the NHS after one miscarriage but I will try my best as bizarrely, even though I miscarried in the EPU, I was so grateful to the ultrasound nurses and felt so reassured at all times. Not having ridiculous pictures of babies all over the walls helps too! Gosh I'm obviously in a mood today!

All those choosing to have scans I totally understand the need and you have to do what's right for you.

@tmc14 congrats! So happy for you!

@MOGMOGMOG85 I chose not to use window to the womb because I'd read so many poor reviews where people had bad outcomes. I managed to find a brilliant little local place, with just one sonographer who still does NHS work. Unfortunately they aren't open at the moment because of Covid19. We were able to get an early scan through the EPU, but this is my 4th pregnancy and hopefully our first child. It depends on your trust and may have changed with everything going on. I think it's a fine line between adding extra stress going somewhere with negative history Vs how much relief you'll get from a scan. Honestly they never calmed me down for more than about 3 days 🙈

Brilliant news @tmc14

@MOGMOGMOG85 we used ultrasound direct and I'd echo what others have said, they were really professional and no pink and blue or bears, and I got lots of photos and a video included (the video was especially great to have). Would definitely recommend although it was a positive outcome so again can't comment on how they handle if it doesn't go well.⁣
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Had my 12 week scan today and it went well! Can't believe it really, so nice to have a positive scan. OH not allowed in which was a shame for him as I'd have liked him to have a positive 12 week scan. The radiographer was lovely and gave me some extra photos for free. Also baby is measuring a whole week ahead so I'm apparently 13 weeks today! Either that or this baby is going to be HUGE 🤦‍♀️. Hopefully the former. ⁣
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Welcome to the new people ☺️⁣
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Great news @Hagster and @tmc14 really lovely to read!
I've actually booked a WTTW scan for when I reach 8 weeks. I'd ummed and ahhhd about it but right now I feel having it would reduce my anxiety more than not having it. If there was anywhere else I would use that (this isnt the closest one to me) but they are all shut; and I dont think I would get one at EPU automatically.
I might change my mind nearer the time but just booking it has made me feel a bit more positive today.

Brilliant news @Hagster!!

Thank you all. Feel totally exhausted this evening.
@Hagster ah we’re very almost due date buddies, I measured 13w1d today. Mine was brought forward from what I thought as well 🤷🏻‍♀️
I’ve had a couple of Private scans, my first at a very fancy place on Harley street, it was a very nice experience, and one at window to the womb. It was definitely not as ‘nice’ but was fine and the people were friendly & took their time. It was much much cheaper too. I’d say that if you need reassurance, they’re fine. And if it is bad news, we’ve all had horrible experiences but it gives us the power to be able to take a list of questions just in case. Might help in a bad situation if they’re not ghat helpful to get out a card with questions to check what they’re saying, make them take the time to give as much info as possible. x

@Hagster and @tmc14 congratulations on the Scans!

Hope everyone who was having a bit of a rough time is ok and holding in there.

I’ve also had a window to the womb scan, with this pregnancy. It was good, but agree with the over the top teddy’s, and enthusiasm. But the price was good, and gave me some reassurance in between my EPU scans. I guess my experience is based also on good news. I’ve found the EPAU this time round, and all the times previous, the best place.

@Knotemma and @Hagster thanks for your advice. @Knotemma its def worth noting that a positive scan will only reassure for a little while and has given me something to think about. Maybe in a way this covid thing will force me to be more in control of my emotions throughout this because I won't be able to get the reassurance I would normally. Dark, but a positive spin on it! I can't believe the prime minister is in intensive care... and all I can hear is coughing coming from my neighbours on both sides :'(

@MissSparkles81 @TunnocksTcake how are you both doing? I hope the bleeding has stopped for you both x

@MOGMOGMOG85 I definitely found not having extra scans helped keep my emotions even. It’s 6.5 weeks until my 20 week scan and, although some others know about the pregnancy now which has changed things, I’m very much mentally battening down the hatches as I know it’s going to go slowly but I can do it! I find extra scans a bit too much of an emotional rollercoaster. x

Morning ladies.

I still cant believe I have to wait another 24hrs for my scan. Im pretty much only having the tiniest little brownish stained discharge when I wipe so I am hoping and praying that this is a good sign.

I came across an NHS leaflet online that said its common to have some brown discharge for a few days after a bleed so taking some comfort in that.

Its totally different to last time where the bleeding just continued to get heavier with clots etc so thats whats keeping me going.

I even said prayers last night in bed ... which is totally not like me at all. Brought up catholic but havnt been to chapel since I was wee.

Officially losing the plot!!

That sounds positive @MissSparkles81 I’ve only one experience of bleeding, which led to miscarriage, but it was a steady progression from brown to red to massive clots within 24 hours. Keeping everything crossed for you. Ha, I’m a lapsed catholic too... I never pray to god but I do find myself sometimes asking the universe to look after me and my loved ones. I’ve never pinned it down but I think I do have slight spiritual/natural world/Gaia/hippy leanings!! Hope you can have a relaxing day looking after yourself x