Pregnant after loss and dreaming of rainbows - 2

[Avocuddles]

Just setting up a new thread to keep the 🌈 conversation going....

@MissSparkles81 @tmc14 my upbringing was C of E but I was at quite religious church schools for my entire education so am another lapsed Christian. Pregnancy has definitely led me to prayer on multiple occasions, I don't know if anyone is listening but sometimes it feels good just to try. @MissSparkles81 I'll say a prayer for you and hope you get a really positive and reassuring result tomorrow....

Morning. @misssparkles81 glad your bleeding is lessening.
I rang the dr this morning who initially was very much saying they don't want me to come into the surgery due to COVID and actually they can't do a lot, it's either just a little bleed or I'm miscarrying, and if it's the latter they would just take a wait and see approach anyway...
I then got teary and he is now ringing the hospital to see if they think they should scan me, so I'm waiting for the call back.
If they won't scan me I will go to wtw when I can get in, having had a mmc I can't just wait it out.
The bleeding is still very light, it sort of almost stopped and went stringy last night but this morning it's back to very light brown only when I wipe so I just don't know 🤷🏻‍♀️

And just spoke to the dr, they don't want to scan me. Their approach is so sterile it makes me feel weird but it makes sense I guess... he's saying if it is a MC then it will happen anyway and their scanning me won't change the outcome so they don't see the point. Plus with covid they are keeping people away from hospitals as much as possible.
So now we play the waiting game 😩😩

Morning @TunnocksTcake and @MissSparkles81 glad you both have lessening bleeding.
@misssparkles81 I hope today passes quickly and peacefully for you! It's awful having to wait to find out what's going on
@tunnockstcake I'm sorry you've had such a response from the doctor - I know it's hard but knowing they couldnt do anything helped me a bit as it meant i knew i couldnt change what may or may not happen. I know that sounds a bit odd. How do you feel in yourself? Are you able to keep yourself distracted at all today?

@TunnocksTcake as you say it makes sense, but that doesn't make it any easier to deal with and I know what you mean about it being sterile. I hope everything's OK. Hang in there.

Like a couple of other people have said in my only experience of MC it started light in the morning but by the evening there were dark clots and by the next morning it was full on bleeding - no mistaking what was happening. What you're experiencing doesn't sound like that. Fingers crossed for you.

@Whiffle77 and @Mimba1 thanks. Yes my mc that naturally mcd was very quick to turn bright red but having had a MMC I know that's not always the case
I managed to get a wtw scan tonight at 8:15 so I will know by the end of the day at least.
Anyone who has had a 16 week scan- do you have to have a full bladder?

@TunnocksTcake oh really pleased you’ve managed to get a scan tonight. I don’t know but guess go with full as easier to empty than fill? Keeping everything crossed for you. x

@TunnocksTcake sorry I didn't mean to be insensitive. Mine was a MMC as well but I didn't have any bleeding before the scan where it was identified. It makes you doubt your own body (or it has for me) and that sucks.

Glad you're getting a scan and I really do hope it goes well for you.

@Mimba1 you weren't insensitive no worries 😊
Yeah I just don't trust my body at all, and being in the weird time before you can feel the baby and after all my symptoms have gone isn't helping!
Only 10 hours to go!!

Hope your scan goes ok @TunnocksTcake pleased that you managed to get something. Hope today passes fast for you!

Ahhh so much has moved on in a few days!! @tmc14 and @Hagster congratulations on your fab scans!! My dates were also brought forward slightly at my 12 week scan - it seems to be quite common!! 🥰

@TunnocksTcake and @MissSparkles81 I'm so sorry you're having to go through the added stress of some bleeding. I'll be thinking of you both lots for your scans today and tomorrow and staying positive for good news for both of you. I've had two quite big bleeds with this pregnancy and all seems ok so it can definitely just be "one of those things" - it sounds really hopeful that the bleeding hasn't progressed 🤞🏼🤞🏼 xxx

@Avocuddles I might have missed it as there's lots of messages since I was last on a couple of days ago BUT did anyone get back to regarding a scan after your illness?! How are you doing? It sounds like you're managing to stay positive? Xx

Hi. I hope it's ok to post in here. I'm new to mumsnet and I'm very worried at 6 weeks pregnant following a mmc last year at 5 weeks. I've had some light pink/brown spotting since Sunday and I'm panicking and feel like my symptoms are going away but it might be in my head. With Covid19 I'm worried my drs won't do anything so holding off. Looking at maybe booking a private scan but want to wait for potential heartbeat. I'm still taking my Bbt as well which is how neurotic I am right now. I hope you are all doing well with your pregnancies 😀

@didslysquiddlydoo I spoke to my midwife and she said she'd drop a note to my consultant but haven't heard anything since. I have my 16 week call with her next week so will press her on it then, it would be good to get some reassurance but DH is quite opposed to us having a private scan - the only option open locally is window to the womb which (as per previous conversations!) wasn't a good experience for us in my previous pregnancy so neither of us is that keen to return there. I do feel like my stomach is getting more rounded which I'm taking as a positive though not putting on any weight?

@TunnocksTcake will be thinking of you this afternoon xx

@fmturn welcome! Sorry you're having a worrying experience. It's definitely worth at least speaking to your doctors or directly calling your local EPU - it's likely that they won't be willing to scan you unless things get worse but there's no harm in asking. There are lots of positive stories on here of women who have had early spotting and gone on to have a healthy pregnancy, fingers crossed that it's just implantation bleeding or some minor cervical irritation....

Honestly @MissSparkles81 do whatever helps keep you sane for the next 24 hours. If it makes you feel any better your experience sounds very similar to mine, bright red bleed which tapered off to brown over 4 days. Went to the epu and was convinced it would be bad news. Goblin was bouncing all over, doing rolls, lying face down the works. I know we're programmed to thinking that a bleed is the worst news, but quite often it isn't. Hope you cope on until tomorrow, I know the waiting is awful x

@avocuddles thank you. I'm trying to take solace in I have no pains. My fear is a mmc but I'm trying to be positive. I took another test today and the line wasn't darker since Thursday. I need to stop for my sanity 😂. I didnt know you could call epu yourself! I'll have a look thanks for the advice.

Just been trying to catch up on the thread as have the day off today. Welcome to everyone new that has joined. Wishing you all the best outcomes in your pregnancy journeys.

Good luck for your scan tonight @TunnocksTcake, hoping that you get good news.

Sorry to hear you've been unwell with suspected Coronavirus @Avocuddles. I'm wondering if had it when I was unwell about 7 weeks ago too as had all the main symptoms. I've had scans since and everything has been ok so hopefully everything is ok with you, although I know it's so hard not to worry.

I just had my harmony test today. Had to post the bloods myself so hoping they are not held up with everything that's going on. I'm managing to stay fairly calm at the moment. I know it's frowned upon, but I have a doppler at home, for me it's been great at easing my anxiety but I know they're not recommended. I would never rely on it for reassurance for things like reduced movement but in these early months it's helping. I'm hoping I won't feel the need to use it once I can feel regular movement.

@TunnocksTcake sorry you got that response from the doctor's, while I understand wanting to keep you away from the hospital where possible it just seems a bit cold to say "nothing we can do either way". It's a mental health thing as much as a physical health thing for those of use in this situation. Glad you've managed to get in for a private scan so quickly, I'll have everything crossed for you. @fmturn welcome, sorry to hear of your past experience. You're in a safe place here to get out all the anxiety, crazy symptom checking, needs for reassurance. We're all at different points in our pregnancy journeys, but everyone is really supportive and kind.

@Aria2015 how do you find the Doppler? I know that there is concern that they can give false reassurance re. Movement and things layer on, but is there any other reason they're frowned on? I'm genuinely interested and would potentially consider getting one now I'm far enough along that it should be clear what is babies heartbeat.

@Aria2015 did you do your harmony test at home or in hospital/clinic? I have my NIPT bloods on Thursday at the hospital and I was under the impression they would take at least one vial of blood?? It's just because you said you posted it :)

@knotemma I looked into dopplers before (I was too early but reaching for anything I could!). Like you say they aren't recommended as they can give false reassurance (or false worry if the device fails or the baby is in the wrong position). What I read also said that ultrasound causes slight heating and could cause "cavitation" (I think this is tiny air pockets) both of which could harm the baby. It's probably OK if it's a couple of minutes once a week and at ante-natal appts, but maybe not if you're checking every day - which I think if I had one in the house I would be tempted to do! I don't think I'll get one because I don't trust myself to be sensible but I totally understand why you would.

@bananamuffin99 yes, they took two vials of blood but it was at a private clinic and not at a hospital. The blood was all packaged up and I was told to post it to the lab. I was a bit surprised but I've done it!

@Knotemma the reasons they're frowned upon is false reassurance and also potential anxiety if you can't find the heartbeat. I did speak to my doctor about it and he said that if I was finding the heartbeat easily and it was helping me that it was ok. He just reminded me not to use it later on to reassure about movement.

@Mimba1 I think if you use them too long they can cause heat but I'm really strict and use it for 1-2 minutes max. As soon as I find the heartbeat I stop, I don't sit and listen to it beyond a couple of seconds. Since I've been about 11 weeks I've been able to find it very quickly thankfully. I use it maybe every few days. Some days I feel calmer than others!

I just got it online, it was about £45. I originally got the idea from an American forum as all the expectant mothers seemed to have them so I looked them up. I'm hoping I won't feel the need to use it as I get further along but with my only other successful pregnancy I ended up using it throughout as he harder ever moved causing me constant panic!

Thanks ladies.
@knotemma that's how I feel, it is so stressful not knowing and if it is a mmc I would rather know sooner than later and not wait til 20 weeks. Also even if it's not a mc, surely we need to find the source? It could be an infection or I've seen people who have had stitches put in their cervix if it's weak, whatever it is I think they should want to find the source...
If scan is ok I might try the midwives again and ask if they can check my cervix.
I went for my walk and had a blob of brown when I got back but ever since it's completely gone. V confusing! Thinking of it I did do more exercise/ gardening etc on Sunday than I have done in weeks so maybe that was what triggered it?

@Aria2015 that makes sense and is good to know!

I get a compulsive need for "data" as part of my anxiety and, if available, could easily end up checking multiple times a day. I already have a spreadsheet to track my pregnancy symptoms that I update 3 times daily and compare to my previous failed one (not helpful but I can't stop). I realise this isn't normal behaviour but it's all I can think about until I've done it and reviewed the data, and researched the differences. Hence probably not a good idea for me!

@Mimba1 I had a lot of very obsessive and compulsive behaviour during my previous pregnancies because of extreme anxiety related to my miscarriages. Last year though I had quite a lot of therapy because my dh was reluctant to try again because my anxiety can be so bad. It's been helpful because I'm definitely coping better this time, although I still have bad days. I did a lot of mindfulness too which is really good if you have y tried it. Helps to break anxious thoughts and give your mind a rest.