Pregnant after loss and dreaming of rainbows - 2

[Avocuddles]

Just setting up a new thread to keep the 🌈 conversation going....

@misssparkles81 nice to see you here and congratulations (I remember you from the 35 board x). Fingers crossed for you!

I’ve got my next scan this morning so anxiety is high, as it always is on a scan day x

@tmc14 hugs to you xx

Thank you @littlegoth and @tmc14 🥰🥰

@MissSparkles81 welcome, how exciting!!! I'm also above 35, let's pray for our rainbows 😄

@Littlegoth everything crossed for a nice positive scan today x

it was all good news thanks. Signed off from early miscarriage unit (which is a bit scary!). Baby in a funny position with bottom ‘in the air’ and a good strong heart beat. Going to enjoy the less painful boobs and being able to eat again x

@LittleGoth that's great news.

I've ended up telling people at work today, been quite surprised at how comfortable I've felt doing it

Hi ladies 👋 I wonder if I can join you please? After a mmc at 12 weeks in October 2019 and an early loss at 5 weeks in December 2019 we've just found out I'm 4 weeks pregnant! Don't think the news has sunk it (and not getting our hopes up too high at the moment!) but needed someone to share our news with as we've agreed not to tell anyone else until after our 12 week scan 😖 it's going to be a long few weeks! I'm 36 and have a DS and DD so fingers crossed this bean is a sticky one! Congratulations to you all on your rainbow babies 💕 xx

Congratulations @MissSparkles81 I think I saw you over on the penguin huddle board?

Hi all. I have been a bit quiet after my initial post. Trying not to think about this pregnancy too much as thinking leads to worrying. I had a horrible dream last night that I got to 35 weeks then lost the baby. This is pretty much along the same lines as what happened to us last year so it really freaked me out.

We've seen a consultant privately to get an idea of what sort of care we should have this time as I am now high risk. I'll be consultant led with more scans and appointments so feeling a tiny bit better. We've seen the gp and asked to go to a different hospital to last time. I can't walk through those maternity unit doors a second time, knowing we went in last year expecting to come home with a baby and it didnt happen. Just waiting for booking in appointment now. We're also going to have a private scan in a week or so when I'll be 7 weeks to check everything is ok. Feels like time is going so slowly though and I feel massive already!

@MrsG3 @MissSparkles81 so good to see you here, gentle congratulations to you both! This is the perfect place to share all your anxieties and chat with others who understand the crazy rollercoaster of emotions that is pregnancy after loss.

I'm 11 +4 today and can't quite believe it, it's been almost two years now since the start of our TTC journey and after two losses and various fertility issues I can't believe 12 weeks is nearly in reach. Will you both be having any additional scans or support? I was lucky enough to have nhs scans at 7 and 9 weeks which were reassuring, it's almost three weeks now since we last saw the baby so the reassurance has all but worn off for me.....

@Shefliesonherownwings bad dreams are I believe unfortunately pretty normal after a traumatic experience, I've certainly had some bad / weird ones recently and it does leave you shaken. Hopefully your scan next week will give you some reassurance, this is a brand new pregnancy and there's no reason at all why this shouldn't work out. I'm glad you're getting extra consultant support and that it's making you feel a bit better. I hope the days speed up for you soon, the first 9 weeks were torture for but time does seem to be going a little faster now.

@Knotemma glad telling work went ok. I'm looking forward to telling people in a couple of weeks, it's hard at the moment when I don't feel quite myself but don't really want to explain why. My boss does know but not the wider team....

@Littlegoth glad your scan went well. Was this your 12 week one?

This was 11 weeks exactly, and then I have 2 more scans the week after next, one to sign off from the recurrent miscarriage clinic and the other is my official dating scan at exactly 13 weeks.

Then cold turkey which is going to be tough. I will have extra scans throughout but not sure when exactly. Hopefully some movement in the not too distant future so I can focus on that when I’m worried.

Spoke too soon about enjoying eating. I’ve thrown up everything I’ve so much as looked at this afternoon.

@Littlegoth I was really worried about not having another scan for 8 weeks now...I mentioned to my specialist that I was worried about going so long and she said that if I needed reassurance, the hospital would be able to do doppler checks for heart rate if needed. Hopefully we will start feeling movements soonish. From what I've read it can start from around 16 weeks x

I had my scan this morning and the little bean was flipping around like crazy! Measuring 2 days ahead at 11w5d. It couldn't keep still hehe, we saw it's little hand and all the fingers it was insane. Soo amazing to see it and I actually felt a weight lift, I think I can almost let myself believe it's happening now 😊

In other news has anyone had or heard of getting red splotchy skin? I woke up with it all over my face and a bit on my chest this morning.. I know you can get melasma but can that be red? I'm very pale so don't tan if that makes sense!

@TunnocksTcake that's brilliant news! Scan pic is gorgeous.
I've got red blotches down my arms, the skin is a bit dry and itchy. I don't normally suffer with excema so I'm just blaming pregnancy

@TunnocksTcake great news on your scan ☺️ I've not really got red patchy skin. Just very dry and flaky skin. Joy of pregnancy hormones lol x

@TunnocksTcake congrats on scan! Beautiful pic 🥰🥰🥰 ahhh man I want this 12 week mark
To hurry up now.... 1 more day! I know there's no guarantees after though but at least it's an invisible win.... 😮🥺 and the results from my NIPT test. Pregnancy after loss is like a big, worrying waiting game... I wish I could bring the nativity if the first time I was pregnant back, so excited and checking the miscarriage charts (think it was 98.5% won't miscarry at 10 weeks)... so sure everything will go well! Then all went to sh*t at the 10 week scan 🥺 I know I shouldn't think like that now... but the worry never leaves you ay?! I guess this gives you a taste of what to come when we (hopefully) become mothers soon...

@SunStruck I know what you mean about hitting 12 weeks, it's such a big milestone for many of us who have experienced early loss. I feel like last week, getting to 12 weeks and having my dating scan have changed my perspective slightly and it now feels like we have a good chance of getting our rainbow. I know that there are no guarantees in this life and that only time will tell.if that's the case, but I'm happy that I'm where I am. I have many things in my life to be grateful for, and carrying this baby is at the top of that list

Hi, new here. I had an early miscarriage in October. Scan showed baby had stopped growing at 6 weeks. I think I'm 6 weeks 2 days now. But I haven't had a scan yet. Too scared to go. Feeling very negative about everything. Don't want to contact my doctor because I don't want to have to cancel my 12 week scan again. Is this normal?

@Charliem11 hi! Yes how you are feeling is very normal, I think many of us here can sympathise with the desire to perhaps bury your head in the sand or not reach out to doctors when you only have negative experiences to draw on. It is definitely worth contacting the doctors for several reasons. Firstly, if you explain your anxiety there is a possibility that they may be able to give you some extra support, or at least be a little more sensitive to how you are feeling. Secondly, although the odds are in your favour so therefore it probably won't happen, if you did have any issues such as bleeding etc then it will be to your advantage to be 'in the system' as most EPUs won't accept patients without a GP referral. I sadly miscarried my first two pregnancies at 7 and 8 weeks but third time round I've had more support from the outset including extra scans which has definitely helped my nerves. Would you consider a private early scan? During my second pregnancy a 7 week scan showed that the pregnancy was measuring behind and I did go on to miscarry, however this time round I've had scans at 7 weeks and 9 weeks which were measuring perfectly so I'm crossing my fingers for my 12 week scan this week.....

@SunStruck can't believe we both hit the 12 week milestone tomorrow! I'm just hoping that nothing crops up to prevent my 12 week scan on Thursday - just need to stay well until then!!! We were supposed to be going to Edinburgh for a long weekend next week but no idea if that will be happening now. It's a weird time to be pregnant here in the UK (or indeed most places....). How are things where you are?

@TunnocksTcake gorgeous scan photo, congratulations to you! Hoping to see lots more on here over the coming weeks!

@Avocuddles thanks for replying. I had early scans the last time. It was so hard going and not getting heartbeat and having to wait and going back and still nothing. Then I started to bleed and it was gone. I have booked a scan for 8 weeks. Not too early. But it's driving me crazy. Every twinge or the lack of symptoms has me thinking the worst. I started therapy a month ago and I'm trying to tell myself these are unproductive thoughts but it is so hard. I only came across this page last night and it's made me feel a bit better hearing some positive stories

@Charliem11 I have twice had a similar experience to you - first time no heartbeat, second time there was a heartbeat but measuring significantly behind, and both times I went on to have a natural miscarriage. Third time round things have (so far) been ok..... 8 weeks is a really sensible time to have an early scan, by that point hopefully it should be really clear where you stand and fingers crossed you'll see a lovely strong healthy heartbeat. I also went to therapy after my 2nd loss and it was definitely helpful though as you say it's so difficult to train your mind to get rid of the negative thoughts. I wish I could offer a magic cure but in my own experience the early weeks were still awful and it wasn't until my second scan that I managed to relax slightly. I'm trying to go with an attitude of what will be will be but it's so hard when this is everything you want and dream of..... I'm crossing everything for you. How long do you have to wait until your scan? xx

Hi all, have been a bit quiet as I'm entering what I consider to be my 'danger zone' - the time my last pregnancy stopped growing, although I didn't find out for another 3 weeks last time, stupid body. I've got a scan booked for the week after this, to reassure/find out post-danger zone, but time is basically stopping!

So so pleased so see so much positive news on here lately, it really does help with the nerves to see so many of you having such a positive experience this time. My fingers are crossed for you all.

@Avocuddles thank you for your kind words especially when I'm too scared to talk to anyone other than my husband. I am praying for you too. My scan is booked for next Thursday when I think I'll be a day short of 8 weeks. Its going to be a very long wait. xx