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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Pregnant after loss and dreaming of rainbows....

998 replies

Avocuddles · 21/01/2020 18:22

Hi,

Starting a thread for ladies in early pregnancy after one or more miscarriages or stillbirths. A safe place to let off steam and hopefully grow healthy rainbows together......

OP posts:
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Avocuddles · 11/02/2020 10:03

@Scout20 good luck for this afternoon!

@Knotemma your sickness sounds dreadful, I hope you get better service and compassion from your GP this time as you definitely should warrant some support if the sickness is impacting on your job and everyday life.

@TunnocksTcake no harm in having another scan. 2 weeks feels so far away for me, I'd have a daily check if I could! It will be nice for your DH to be there too.

@Seahawk80 good luck with the promotion, it sounds like you'd be a great candidate and it's their loss if they're not willing to consider you.....

OP posts:
SunStruck · 11/02/2020 10:30

@Knotemma poor you! :( how many weeks are you? Yes definitely go to the Dr and see if you can get some relief! Good with strong pregnancy signs though 😃

I don't get morning sickness, mine get stronger during the day and cumulates in the eve/night and I can barely eat anything then! So horrible.

@Scout20 good luck with your scan today! I'll be thinking of you ❤️

SunStruck · 11/02/2020 10:34

@Aria2015 welcome to the thread! I'm sorry you're finding yourself here. We all know how you feel! Remember you're stil so early, symptoms really come and go then. I didn't have any really until 6 weeks, but just a bit nauseous. Feeling really nauseous now but I'm 7 weeks now. Apparently nausea kicks in properly between 7-11 weeks if you even get it (some women don't!). So still too early 😄

Seahawk80 · 11/02/2020 11:19

@Knotemma I think GP is a good call. I really hope you have a better experience and get some help.

Good luck @Scout20

Hoping2020 · 11/02/2020 11:35

Hello ladies,

Was told about this thread by @SunStruck and definitely want to join you all as I’m also dreaming of rainbows. I’m now pregnant for the fourth time in 16 months.

Firstly, I am so sorry for all of your losses. The miscarriage club and the recurrent miscarriage club are the worst ones to be a part of.

My story...

My husband and I fell pregnant soon after first trying, in Oct 2018, and we were delighted. At around 9 weeks, I wanted to go for an early scan as I didn’t feel many symptoms and wanted reassurance. At the scan, the sonographer said baby was only measuring 6+3 and they couldn’t pick up a heartbeat. They asked us to return a week later and, after what felt like the longest week in the world, they confirmed no growth and no heartbeat. We were devastated. I chose to take the tablets in hospital a few days later and passed our tiny baby.

We fell pregnant again in March 2019 and felt hopeful as everyone said it was likely a one off the first time. A week and a half after finding out, I had a period-like cramp and a small amount of red blood when wiping. Panicking, I called the early pregnancy unit who asked me to go in the following day for a scan. Unfortunately, there was nothing to see on the scan, I had ‘reabsorbed’ the tissue. Again, we were devastated, although thankful I didn’t need hospital treatment.

We fell pregnant again in August 2019 and this time felt very different. I had lots of pregnancy symptoms, morning sickness especially, and was really pleased. We were booked in for an early scan due to our previous miscarriages and, like all of you, was dreading it. Scans had only ever brought us bad news. This one wasn’t much better. They found a baby and a ‘weak’ heartbeat. They wanted us to return a week later, again. We prepared ourselves for the worst at the next scan but they could still pick up a ‘faint’ heartbeat. We were asked to go back a week later. Living life week to week, scan to scan was so hard. Trying to prepare for the worst whilst always having some hope that there will be a miracle and your baby will be ok. The next scan showed no heartbeat. Three miscarriages in a row - broken doesn’t even begin to describe it. I was again given tablets in hospital but they didn’t work. We tried a second round and still nothing so I ended up getting surgery. We left the hospital feeling broken, devastated and with the heaviest of hearts.

We were referred to the recurrent miscarriage clinic and tissue from the third baby was tested but all came back clear so offered us little comfort or explanation about why this was happening.

I’m now pregnant for the fourth time and very anxious. I’m taking progesterone pessaries twice per day and 75mg of aspirin. We had a scan a week and a half ago; baby was measuring at 7 weeks and we saw a very strong heartbeat. It was a very emotional moment and the furthest we’ve ever gotten. Our next scan is on Friday and I’m absolutely terrified we’re going to get bad news again. I’m normally a fairly calm and confident person but I can’t stop over-analysing every symptom (e.g. if I wake up at 5am needing to pee when it’s been 4am other nights, do my boobs feel as sore as they have, is my nausea still as bad today?), even though symptoms made no difference to us last time, and I’m driving myself mad! Keep having mini panic attacks thinking about the scan and really struggling to focus at work. It’s nice to find people that are feeling the same way and understand.

Anyone else got a scan in the next few days?

Seahawk80 · 11/02/2020 11:53

Welcome @Hoping2020 what a horrible time you've had. I really hope that this is your rainbow. Sounds like good news so far. I have a scan tomorrow, just at work struggling to concentrate!

Just had a message from the manager of the department I've applied to join spaying thanks for your application- we will have to see but I really want to make this work. At least if I don't get the job I'll know it's not me, just the fact that I "only" work 4 days!

Knotemma · 11/02/2020 11:57

@SunStruck I'm 8+1 today and this is now officially my longest pregnancy. I don't think the anxiety about that is helping with the nausea if I'm honest. I've already had a right carry on with the doctor's and am still waiting for my triage call to see if I can have an appointment, which is marvelous... I've already spent 45 minutes on the phone with them because it always takes an age to get through and after being told I'd get a call I then got a text message to go to a different surgery in the chain at 12:10... The level of basic competency is quite worrying bit sadly I have no other option as due to amalgamation they are the only primary healthcare provider in my area.

@Hoping2020 I'm glad you found us and hope that the thread and the awesome supportive people in it can help with your anxiety a little.

SunStruck · 11/02/2020 11:58

Welcome @Hoping2020 ! Sorry to see you here, but this is an amazingly supportive group.

I have had one mmc and one miscarriage, TTC number 1 at 36 years old (35 when I started). I just had a scan last week at 6 weeks and they found a strong heartbeat too. Next scan is next week! My mmc happened at 9 weeks (found out at 10 week scan), so I'll be most nervous then!

What we all need to remember is that it's a new pregnancy, a new egg and a new sperm. Odds are in our favor it will be fine. I know it obviously doesn't feel like it when you've had 2 miscarriages in the row, but we need to try think this way to not get too consumed by it.

I am also on baby aspirin and using progesterone gel! We're a few ladies here on the same protocol.

When is your next scan?

SunStruck · 11/02/2020 12:00

@Knotemma that sounds awful! Did your nausea start properly at 7 weeks? That's where I am at the moment. Dreading next week, I really feel for you😔

HighHopes20 · 11/02/2020 12:21

Sorry if this is too personal ladies but are you all still having sex since you found out you were pregnant? Apart from the constant nausea putting me off, I also worry that it might cause me to miscarriage so I’m too scared to do it in the first trimester. I feel so sorry for my DH!

Hoping2020 · 11/02/2020 12:25

Oh @Seahawk80, no wonder you can’t concentrate! How far along are you? Hoping all goes well at your scan tomorrow.

@SunStruck, that’s interesting that you’re on the same measures as me. Hopefully they make all the difference for us this time round! It’s hard, when we’ve been through what we have, to think the odds are still in our favour but I know they very much are. I find the hardest part is the not knowing why and, for us, not knowing if we’ll ever be able to have a child of our own. If someone was able to say “yes, one day, you will have a baby together”, I think I would be able to relax about the whole thing. It’s the not knowing that’s hard.

Hoping2020 · 11/02/2020 12:27

@HighHopes20 - no, we’re not. My DH is understanding about why but I also feel sorry for him! Maybe further along if all is still going well.

SunStruck · 11/02/2020 12:45

@HighHopes20 no we're not because my OBGyn told us to abstain in the first trimester just in case.
I'll be honest I'm quite happy with that as I'm feeling like shit 🤣

@Hoping2020 I know exactly what you mean! How old are you if you don't mind me asking?

Seahawk80 · 11/02/2020 13:00

@HighHopes20 we're not either. I had a big bleed with DS at 10 weeks after sex so def abstaining until at least 14 weeks. We did further on in the pregnancy though, once I felt better and more relaxed.

@Hoping2020 I can imagine that is so hard. It's not the same at all but I wish I could just know if we will only ever have DS or if we will have a second. I'd just like to know. I do however realise I'm incredibly lucky to have a child and i am so grateful.

Aria2015 · 11/02/2020 13:51

Thank you for the warm welcome everyone. So sorry to read about all your losses, I know it's so heart wrenching.

Happy and hopeful reading about the encouraging scans and symptoms some of you are having! I really hope that you get your rainbow!

I feel a bit calmer today after a good cry last night. I think I bottle everything up in an attempt to appear like I'm coping and then just get overwhelmed. I'm not telling people I'm pregnant this time round. It was discussed in my counselling that keeping it to myself might be better for me. In a way it is because it forces me to put on a brave face (fake it until you make it!) but it also adds to the burden a bit too.

Hoping to get blood test result tomorrow. Good luck to everyone who has scans coming up. I look forward to hopefully reading some more good news stories!

Knotemma · 11/02/2020 14:05

@SunStrucki started with nausea and a little bit of sickness at 5 weeks and it's been getting steadily worse. I've been googling ( as you do 🤦) and apparently if you've had sickness as a result of hormonal birth control you're more likely to suffer with morning sickness. I've never been able to take the combination pill because within 3 days I'd be throwing up🙈😂. It's so strange because I feel awful and obviously I'm not enjoying myself very much at the moment, but I feel so incredibly lucky at the same time. It's such a roller coaster.

@HighHopes20 on the sex front, if you feel up to it and haven't been told to avoid it I don't see any harm. It might even help you relax a little bit. I keep having flashes of wanting to jump my husband in the hour or so a day I get where I'm not hung round the toilet 😂🙈 needless to say I'm not acting on them often though... I need that time to shovel as much food and drink in as possible 😂

Hoping2020 · 11/02/2020 14:14

@SunStruck - I turn 30 this year. Technically age should be on my side but hasn’t seemed to help so far.

@Seahawk80 - I can imagine that’s hard too. You could stop putting yourself through this and all the heartache if you knew. Delighted you have a son Smile Did everything go well with his pregnancy?

Seahawk80 · 11/02/2020 16:01

@Hoping2020 thank you. It was plain sailing after 13 weeks but before that I had lots of bleeding / spotting and then at the 12 week scan we got pretty grim odds, 1/13 for downs and 1/15 for Edwards / Patau. It was totally out of the blue. I was 36 so knew my odds would t be great but it was such a shock and the wait for the CVS results was horrible. I also had a lot of bleeding after the CVS but once that stopped and we had the results the rest was a dream.

Sadly we weren't so lucky last time and my pregnancy ended in a TMFR. It's why I'm so terrified about the 12 week scan. We are having harmony test done tomorrow and should have the result this time in 2 weeks but I'm getting more and more nervous. First hurdle is the 10 week scan tomorrow. Hopefully baby is still ok and measuring 10 weeks plus so they can do the test🤞🏻

Avocuddles · 11/02/2020 16:50

Hi all!

I haven't DTD since I found out. It's not that I don't want to, but I feel too scared, especially as my first miscarriage started the evening after we'd had sex. I know logically that it was inevitable anyway and it may have just 'got things moving', but it just feels too risky at the moment. I hope if I get past the first trimester I might feel differently?

@Hoping2020 I agree that the hardest part is the not knowing. I'm 36 and it's 21 months since I started TTC at 34, so whilst I technically have a bit of time yet it still feels like it's not on my side. If only we had a crystal ball!!!!

@Knotemma I never had nausea with the combined pill though it did give me a major blood clot! So not much nausea for me but a lot of blood thinning meds 

@Aria2015 glad you're feeling a bit better today. I hope the blood test results give you further reassurance....

@Seahawk80 good luck for the scan tomorrow! 🤞

OP posts:
Knotemma · 11/02/2020 17:45

Well the doctor was fairly disinterested, but he's given me some anti-sickness meds to try. The main side effect is drowsiness, so at least I might get some sleep 😂. Going to see how it goes, hopefully it'll settle things enough that I can get back to work

Littlegoth · 11/02/2020 18:23

DP and I are both too scared to dtd at the moment and haven’t since positive test - scared of making it go wrong! xx

TunnocksTcake · 11/02/2020 18:34

@Knotemma glad they gave you some drugs, I really hope they help you. That level of sickness sounds awful.

@hoping2020 welcome, that is an awful lot to go through in 16 months. I hope this is your rainbow.

I've been feeling really anxious today, symptoms have waned slightly and I have been in a big team meeting all day where I kept imagining the worst case where I would start bleeding and felt really trapped. I literally ran to the loo every break we had and everything was fine. I am a bit claustrophobic anyway and was in the middle of the room with no escape route so that probably had a lot to do with it. I also slept really badly because I was SO bloated and it really hurt so that didn't help. Feeling calmer after getting home.

SammiLou2312 · 11/02/2020 18:48

@Scout20 hope everything went well this afternoon. Been thinking of you all day x

didslysquiddlydoo · 11/02/2020 19:04

Hi all, just to say it looks like it's back to the drawing board yet again for us.

I had a significant loss in symptoms yesterday and today I started cramping and bleeding. 111 sent me to a&e - they don't think it's ectopic so got a scan booked for Friday morning but they confirmed it didn't look hopeful (and I'm holding out no hope whatsoever!)..

This whole process can be so cruel 😞

Anyway, I'm wishing others in this thread SO much luck with your pregnancies and I will keep an eye on how you guys progress - I'm rooting for you all xxxx

Treaclepie19 · 11/02/2020 19:09

@Knotemma I'm glad they've given you something. Hope it helps!

@TunnocksTcake I'm glad you're feeling a little calmer. Days like that are hard.

I'm having one of those days. I felt so worn out and nauseous this morning that I just slept while my ds was at nursery. Then this afternoon I'd got a pain in my side where my gall bladder used to be and it's been going on for a while so I'm stressing about that. Decided I'd go to the doctors tomorrow about it and this evening I feel all wrong. With my ds1 I constantly felt like I had a water infection and kept being treated whether I did or didn't. Feels like that's coming on again 😩
I should just be happy to be pregnant so I feel guilty as anything moaning.

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